The Universal Shifts of Consciousness

Brice Taylor's "Thanks for the Memories"

You are not Your Physical Body; You are Not the Physical Matter: You are Energy !

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Interviews with Brice Taylor

Thanks for the Memories

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Invisible to the eye Energy of the New Consciousness of Sun, of New Earth and Advaced Humanity is building up above Elliott Heads rivermouth, Australia, 17 Jan, 2010. The Sun is a way higher in the sky.

Invisible to the eye Energy of the New Consciousness of Sun, of New Earth and Advaced Humanity is building up above Elliott Heads rivermouth, Australia, 17 Jan, 2010. The Sun is a way higher in the sky.

Interviews with Brice Taylor

Brice Taylor's "Thanks for the Memories" is an incredible book, which shook me to the Core. I have read it twice and recommend those, emotionally strong ones to read it, to know what many of us are going through. I posted the whole book here, but pictures you will find on the website below. Before reading the book it wouldn't be a bad idea to know Brice Taylor a little bit more from reading the interviews with her :

http://illuminati-news.com/e-books/BriceTaylor-ThanksforTheMemories.pdf

Good morning. You are tuned in again to The International Connection, and
we are in Part 42 of the ongoing interview series on mind control. Today
we are bringing you part 1 of an interview I conducted with Brice Taylor, a
former Whitehouse-level mind control victim. She has been used as a sex
slave for a number of U.S. presidents, foreign officials, and other
power-brokers while under the influence of mind control. She has been
subjected to horrific torture and abuse, beginning in her childhood, at the
hands of her family, and has been programmed at various military bases in
the U.S., and at NASA. She is the author of a fictionalized account of her
life, "Starshine: One woman's valiant escape from mind control", and since
breaking free and recovering, has been in touch with hundreds of mind
control survivors across the U.S. Here now is that interview:

WAYNE MORRIS:

I am speaking to Brice Taylor, a survivor of mind control. Welcome to the
show, Brice. I wonder if you could start off by just giving a short
description of who you are, and your background.

BRICE TAYLOR:

Actually, <Brice Taylor> is a pseudonym that I chose to protect myself and
my children when I first started writing my book and putting it out. I am a ritual abuse, government mind control survivor, and I have spent since 1985 working to heal from that and documenting what I was involved with at the highest levels within our government and internationally as the people's leaders are invested in bringing in the New World Order.

WM:

Who was responsible initially for your programming and conditioning?

BT:

Initially, up close, my father primarily was, at home on a daily basis, and my mother was also programmed to abuse and program me. My whole family was actually involved in my programming, including my grandparents on both sides, aunts, uncles and my brothers. As I grew older, by the time I was five, I was being taken to military bases in and out of California and officials there were programming me, and later, doctors at UCLA
Neuropsychiatric Institute in California, and places where there were NASA
installations - I was also programmed.

WM:

Do you remember when it started - the conditioning?

BT:

I had actually some very early memories of being traumatized as an infant,
so it started when I was very, very young.

WM:

What is your family's background, your father and grandfather in particular
...

BT:

My background is intergenerational ritual satanic abuse, and I know that
because my father flew me back to Iowa where my grandfather lived and they
involved me in satanic ritual there, and it was then that I realized that
my grandfather who was a millionaire and politician, was involved and was
also intergenerationally connected. It has gone back in the family for
generations as far as I know.

WM:

Did your family learn in terms of the mind control programming or was it
strictly in terms of being traumatized by the satanic rituals?

BT:

I have no way of knowing what my parents' duties or jobs were during their
early lifetimes, but I believe that my father was made into a multiple
through the severe satanic ritual that happened to him, so I don't believe
that he was consciously operating with the programming of me, where all
parts of him knew what was going on, because I know he was a multiple. I
watched him switch into child personalities and all sorts of different
entities that he became during the years.

WM:

Was that caused by his father's conditioning of him?

BT:

Yes. My Dad was severely tortured his whole life, had a very abusive
childhood, and as I was healing and able to look back, he even had several
near-death experiences due to accidents that I think were perhaps his
programming kicking up as mine did later on.

WM:

Were there government or military connections in your family?

BT:

Not to the public, but certainly I was shuffled and taken into the
government and military bases, but as far as being publicly connected, no.

WM:

Do you know how they had made that connection with the military in terms of
turning you over to them?

BT:

I believe that whole connection came with my grandfather who was a
politician, and it seemed like once I met him (I had never met him until I
was nearly ten years old and my father flew me to Iowa to meet him) - it
was shortly after that I started being connected to all sorts of famous
politicians and entertainers, and a lot of different people. So I believe
it was through my grandfather.

WM:

Was your grandfather himself conditioned, or was he knowledgeable about the techniques of conditioning for the purpose of mind control?

BT:

I have no way of knowing ... all I know is that he tortured me and my
father was there, and there were usually a lot of other men. I have only my own experience and what I believe to be the truth for my father is that
although they created these heinous things, and did all of this, that he was programmed also. I can't answer that for my grandfather. I wasn't around him enough.

WM:

Can you describe for our listeners what kinds of things were done to you
that you remember as a child?

BT:

It is always hard for me to go back into this, it seems that no matter how
many years go by, it is still very painful. There was trauma done in the
form of being stuck with pins and needles, being burned, hung by my feet -
sometimes to crosses, spun, dropped off a table as an infant, near
drowning, sexual abuse and orgies, being drugged, food and sleep
deprivation, and then adding to that when I was around five, was all of the military mind control that was done with very sophisticated instrumentation and chairs and electroshock ... That was all done to create a shattered psyche that I believe was used later for all these different personalities that were created for the mind control purpose.

WM:

Were you used by the military at the bases as a child, or was that later in your life?

BT:

I was taken to bases in Long Beach, California as a child where they used
very sophisticated means of light, sound combined with electroshock and
drugs and all sorts of torture and hypnosis.

WM:

Do you feel that your family had kind of laid in the base conditioning in
terms of creating dissociation within you, and then more sophisticated mind control later, or were they programming you as well?

BT:

My father was absolutely programming me as well, he did the base
programming and a lot of the trauma-based conditioning, and then these
other layers of more sophisticated programming were put in on top of that.

WM:

In terms of your father's public life, what was his public image?

BT:

My father was a welder, he was certainly everything any father was supposed to be. He provided well for his family, and was seen as a very charming man. No one had any idea, including his own physician, and I am not sure I understand that either because this man was creating so much torture and trauma in his children.

WM:

Was your mother a co-perpetrator, did she have knowledge of what was going on?

BT:

My mother also abused me in a lot of different ways, and I thought at the
time when I was recovering my memory and going through all of this that my
mother had done this on purpose. It wasn't until I healed to the level to
be able to go back and confront her with all the different traumas, and
tortures and abuses - that I saw her cry and she said to me "it's not that
I don't believe you, it's just that I can't remember. I felt very strongly
that my mother actually may at a subconscious level have known that she had participated, however she couldn't remember. However, she wasn't
discounting what I said which was very unusual for most survivors. Usually
their parents say, "this never happened" - my mother did not do this. In
fact she went on to help fund financially my book when I was running for my life and had no source of income. She has helped me even today, although she still only cries and has not any of her own memories.

WM:

Do you have memories of your mother being involved in the cult activity as
well?

BT:

Yes. I have memories of my mother being tortured and traumatized in satanic rituals that were done at some churches that we went to at night. My mother was a battered wife, she doesn't remember a lot of it but my father battered her and some of the personalities he had were abusive and others weren't. So my mother was absolutely tortured, and I know that she was programmed in a sophisticated way in order to deliver me off in time to the airport late at night or early in the morning when I was being used
internationally, and with high level leaders in our government, and with
entertainers and she doesn't remember any of that. However to this day she
has trouble driving to the airport and doesn't understand why it is so
frightening for her. Those are the kind of indications to me that she
really knows but she can't remember, because of programming.

WM:

Has she attempted to get help for herself?

BT:

My Mom did, and my Mom is nearly 80 years old. She said to me "I am afraid
I will come apart and I won't be able to function", because she watched me
become severely dysfunctional to where I couldn't even take care of myself
or anybody else in order to heal. She said she felt her greatest help would be able to help me financially and to be able to be there with my children, who I am not able to have much contact with at this point. My Mother is a victim, and now that I have done my complete healing and realized that my life with my children was very similar to the one that she led with me, I have some very deep compassion for her and wish that in her time it would have been for her to heal, but I understand.

I know what it took for me to go through the healing process. It was years, and it was over $250,000 worth of therapy and bodywork, and all sorts of healing modalities ... so I understand what it has taken in the past to heal and what it would take for her as an older person. I was in therapy in daily. My Mother is an incredibly strong person, even in her late 70's, she is working in the capacity that she can, and it's pretty miraculous actually.

WM:

When you were a child, did you attempt to tell anybody about the abuses, or were you even somewhat aware?

BT:

It's interesting that you ask that Wayne, because when I was deprogramming
and reintegrating, I had a lot of memories, and one of the specific ones
that I had explains this. I had a personality in elementary school that was programmed to do child pornography and the way it was done was that I was taken out of my classroom at school in order to go to be taken to what they called "choir practice". My church was very close locally, so they would take me out of class to be taken to the choir director's home to practice "choir" during schooltime. What ended up happening was that once we got there, and put on our choir robes, the whole thing turned and changed, and we stopped singing. And we went downstairs in the basement to be filmed in pornography and all sorts of heinous ritualistic pornographic, everything filmed with all sorts of equipment. This one day by the time I was taken back to school with the other children, I had for some reason not switched out of that personality. I went to the school principal's office and I told her that this had happened and I was talking in all these terms with sexual language and things that she found very distasteful, and I remember her shaking her finger at me and saying, "stop talking like this, this is disgusting, children shouldn't be speaking like this". I got punished for that like I did lots of different subsequent times when I attempted to tell what was going on - I always ended up getting punished.

Yes, I did attempt to tell and whether this woman, the principal, was
herself programmed ... I have since learned from my own experience that
oftentimes there will be a whole web of people in a community - the
professionals, the educational system, the church system - and everyone in
that community will be programmed and have been ritually abused and they
attend rituals at night without even knowing it in an attempt to keep the
whole community traumatized and programmed. So, yes I did try to tell. It
took until very late on in my life for people to start listening.

WM:

Did this principal inform your parents of what you were saying?

BT:

No.

WM:

Where did you grow up?

BT:

I grew up in California in Woodland Hills - it was southern California -
about 20 minutes inland from Malibu.

WM:

Do you know if as a child you were displaying signs of abuse that teachers
could have picked up on?

BT:

Thinking back now, just even that example that I described to you where I
had knowledge of sexual behaviour and language that was well beyond the
understanding of a child - I was always labelled as mischievous, getting in trouble in school, acting out. I was always the class clown. I think I did have even physical signs that teachers today would possibly pick up, and probably even the difference in my personalities had to have shown. I had obvious switches, where I was switching in and out of different
personalities. I know that because when I reintegrated there were a lot of
different school personalities that had been created to handle school. I am sure that when teachers and other adults begin to have more information
about dissociative identity disorder and all of this abuse that they will
have the eyes to see.

WM:

When did you first realize that you were subjected to mind control?

BT:

The memory of the actual mind control involvement started to come to light
in 1988 after several years of thinking I was crazy, having the accident,
and all of that.
In 1988 I realized there was more than I was just "crazy, nuts, confused".

WM:

You had memories of the ritual abuse before that?

BT:

In 1985 I had a head injury. I had a head-on collision where my head went
through the windshield of the car. What that did was it allowed me to
access both sides of my brain for the first time in my life, and I began
having memories - very frequent memories of all sorts of abuse that came in such a way that it was difficult for me to continue to process it all.
There was just so much of it. There were years of memories that came
flooding in. As my programming dictated, when those memories initially in
1985 started coming in, I just thought I was crazy. I was programmed to
believe that if anything came up, I would just think I was crazy. In 1987 I had another accident on the same date as the head-on collision where I
broke my back and smashed my head again riding a horse. It was on April 12
at 9:15 in the morning which was the same time as my 1985 head-on
collision. The result of that accident was more very vivid flashback
memories that came in the form of visual flashes, body memories where I
felt agony, my body felt drugged. Very specific places in my body had pain.
Once I learned through my daily therapy to begin to process that, I learned what it all meant. I would like to explain that during this time I was in school working towards my Master's Degree in Clinical Psychology to be a psychologist - when all of this memory started breaking through. This made me have to quit school before I graduated, but it gave me a lot of
information about the psychological process and what I would need to go
through to heal.

WM:

It seems really unusual that you would have the two accidents on the same
day at the same time. Do you feel that they were arranged - or at least the second one?

BT:

I believe that it was definitely arranged, and I believe that because what
happened in 1991 on April 10th which was 2 days before the anniversary of
the accident date - I received a dollar bill in my wallet that had
programming numbers and the date April 12th written across it. When I showed it to my therapist they realized this was intentional. Every time they sent things like this in to me, it was just another validation of reality for me.

WM:

Do you think they would have programmed you to ride into that tree the
second time?

BT:

I think I was programmed to have an accident if I became dangerously close
to remembering, and I think that once I had the first accident that they
may have tied the second one to it in an attempt to kill me. I really don't know that. I know I was still being used. I continued to be used even when I thought I was free in 1991 and 1992, and even into 1993. I believe they were attempts to injure me to the point where I could function. I don't know. I don't have all the answers.

WM:

>From what you know from other survivors' experiences, do you feel that's a common technique for killing people if they do come too close to remembering?

BT:

Yes, I do. I think that as people are educated and become more aware, they
will be able to see more clearly what has happened. I received letters from survivors, it began nationally, and now I receive letters from all over the world from survivors who have had all kinds of head injuries, strokes, all kinds of programmed accidents. Fortunately for all of us, and unfortunately for our controllers, what it has done is that it has actually made the brain barriers easier to access and to remove some of the amnesic barriers so that people who are having these accidents are beginning to remember more and more.

WM:

Just in the news recently - the fatal accidents that Michael Kennedy and
Sonny Bono had - skiing into a tree - sound very familiar. That's
immediately what came to my mind. How did you manage to break free of
their control, at what point did that happen?

BT:

I was in daily therapy from 1987 on, and sometimes twice a day. So I was
writing memories at home, in therapy. I was drawing. I was having bodywork.
I was doing just about everything to heal. So I had healed and had begun to integrate a lot of my personalities so when in 1991 I received that dollar bill with my accident date written on it ... At that point I had connected with Dr. Catherine Gould who is a therapist in California who has worked for years with children who had DID and have been ritually abused. I met her actually when I was in school along my venture to be a therapist, and so she started giving me information as I was
asking her questions about programming. She was able to give me a little
information. No one who was around me - neither of my therapists had ever
heard of ritual abuse or had worked with anyone at all with MPD - no one
who was working with me really understood what I was talking about. Once I
realized there was such a thing as mind control, the programming just
started unfolding. Parts of me that knew about the programming that had
been done started filling up journals listing my specific programming and
how it worked; drawing pictures that I share in workshops that I do. I
began to understand that there was a lot more to this than I could ever
imagine, and I was afraid for my life and for my children's lives. I didn't know what to do. My therapist helped relocate me to an island on Hawaii and I went there and I was only going to spend a week trying to get clear on what I should do. I started realizing that my ex-husband was also a victim of this, and that there was a lot more going on.

I went to this island, thinking I would only spend a week, and I ended up
there for five weeks and returned in an attempt to rescue my children.
During the time I was there, I had a lot of the higher level memories of my government and entertainer involvement. Being on the island, I had no money and very little support. I had a couple who helped me. I got a word
processor and lived very frugally and just wrote and continued bringing
back the memories and writing every day and re-integrating. With all of
that, I realized that I had been used at very high levels within our own
government. To help combat the programming that said I was crazy, I began
to be strong enough of my own mind and body to be able to recognize when
people were sent in on me to access me. I would be programmed to call back
into a number and I was advised to keep doing that until I was healthy
enough to really break free. I would call in, and these men would be on the phone, and they validated my reality of what I was remembering in a way that I am grateful to them now. I had no way of understanding before why men in suits would be following me in cars around L.A. and all over the place. It started making sense to me and I was able to put it together.

In 1991 I was healing at a rampant rate, but I was still being accessed and used on the island. I was still being prostituted along with my daughter on the island. It was pretty devastating when I healed and realized it, but I was still healing and that's how I realized what was really going on.

WM:

Do you know up to what point your perpetrators were still using you?

BT:

I am not sure if I have the date right, but I believe it was actually until just before our current president was inaugurated was one of the last times I was used.

Wayne Morris:

When you were dealing with your first therapist you said they weren't
really aware of mind control techniques. What kind of work were you doing
with them? Were you doing memory work at that point?

Brice Taylor:

I started out just doing psychotherapy and analysis - it's absolutely
insane to be doing that with someone under mind control - but they had no
way of knowing. I was just doing straight psychotherapy and the memories
started flooding in from the accidents, the trauma, and as I began to feel
safer - that there was someone who, even if they didn't understand ... My
therapist looked at me all the time like I was nuts. I was just coming up
with all this abuse. The childhood abuse came up first, and then the ritual abuse memories came on the heels of the sexual abuse, and then the
government mind control stuff came.

WM:

So working with those initial therapists - you started remembering the
government mind control ... At the point where they had stopped using you,
or you were able to avoid being used, was there something you had done to
prevent that? What was the situation?

BT:

Actually I worked with a renegade member of the intelligence community who
I lived with for a year and a half, and he was able to help me through
identifying my codes, keys and triggers, what my programming was. We
actually spent a year and a half in the house where he would trigger me and I would just go into my room and write and write and write, volumes of
memory work where I would just go right back in ... I had been programmed
to have a photographic memory and traumatic memory is laid down differently than normal memory is stored. I was able to not only see and hear, but use all my senses to go back into these memories and document it all. Over time there was no way I had any information or could have known about any of this top secret, still classified projects or the level of political sophistication and the interconnection of politicians and world leaders that I was used with.

WM:

Are you aware, or do you know how they programmed you to have photographic
memory?

BT:

It was a hypnotic command done under hypnosis with drugs and specific
personalities.

WM:

You have written a book about your account. "Starshine: One woman's
valiant escape from mind control", and within that book you mentioned some
electronic, harmonics equipment to help with your memory retrieval and
deprogramming. Could you describe that and other forms of technology that
were helpful?

BT:

The harmonic equipment that I spoke about in the book was actually
explained to me by this member of the intelligence community - that was
some of the specific programming equipment that had been used to program
people. It could be used to deprogram people. However, since then I have
not been able to get anybody within the government obviously to bring this
equipment out publicly. But I do have some very good hope for people that
have been through this to heal, and the closest that I know of help for
people ... In fact, I am now in the process of beginning to open a business for EEG biofeedback. There is a company in California that is one of many around the country called "EEG Spectrum" and basically it is a way of a person working through with a computer game that is monitoring your own brain waves, where a survivor or anyone is able to begin to realize what brainwave state they are in. Survivors are usually heavy Theta accessed - they are in Theta a lot. Basically what this does is to help people stay more into the Beta which is their conscious, alert awareness and learn that way. One of the beauties of EEG biofeedback is that however a person has been traumatized, and most people born into these generations on the earth now have been traumatized in whatever way -- the trauma begins to be encoded physically and therapy alone over time doesn't affect the body/mind connection in the way that this EEG biofeedback reintegrates brain function so the body/mind can begin to be dealt with. I bought the equipment and began working with my daughter at home during a few months when I was able to have her, and it borders on being miraculous. Of course she was very afraid it was like mind control, but it brought her out of catatonic states and made her be able to function in ways that she wasn't able to. I would say that the EEG biofeedback equipment and technology is the closest I know to help victims with memory retrieval and deprogramming - it is gentler, kinder and without so much body pain memory. It's EEG Spectrum and there are affiliates all over the nation and it is 1-800-789-3456.

WM:

With this kind of equipment - was it that you were able to see your
brainwave activity and then adjust your own thinking to deal with it? How
did that work?

BT:

Basically you are fed back a "reward" so it's like - it's operant
conditioning - just like a rate in a maze. You are rewarded when pacman
goes and you hear the sound accompanied with a reward. It's a reward that
rewards your central nervous system, so it's not like someone has to be an
intellectual or figure it out - the healing happens. I have been working
with children with ADD and ADHD and often within two or three sessions,
kids that are 10 or 11 years old who have never been able to read are
reading ... they are saying, "I can read", and children who are on Ritalin
are coming off Ritalin because they are able to manage their brainwave
state. So children can do it, adults can do it, because it works with the
central nervous system. It's very powerful and I think it is very hopeful
for the future.

WM:

I would like to talk now about some of the techniques they used to
condition and program you. Do you remember how hypnosis was used to control and program?

BT:

It was used in just about all of my earlier programming, whether it was my
father or programmers - I was taken a lot to Disneyland or different places where fantasy was intentionally mixed with reality. Hypnosis was always used in conjunction with drugs, and often when I was at military bases or NASA installations, it was used in conjunction with a very sophisticated chair and instruments that went over my head - I was given electroshock and hypnotic commands with drugs that they know are very useful in allowing that hypnotic command to go deeper than the subconscious mind.

WM:

What was the purpose of the drugs? Was that to make you more open to hypnosis?

BT:

I think the drugs are used in a lot of different ways, certainly I am not a physician or a brain surgeon to know how that all works. But I believe the drugs were used a lot to keep the conscious mind out of the way in order to be able to take the programming to very deep levels.

WM:

Just to open the subconscious ... And specifically, what was the purpose
of electricity? What factor did that play in mind control?

BT:

As a child I was 'shocked' at home by bare electric cords, and as I began
getting a little older - with a cattle prod, and then stun guns as I was
older still. And then later the hi-tech electronic equipment at the bases.
And I believe that's done for dissociation - as a person is shocked and
traumatized it affects your whole energy field and the trauma creates
dissociation which allows people to be programmed at very deep levels when
your conscious mind is out of the way.

WM:

Later on, with the more sophisticated programming, what was the role of
electricity?

BT:

I believe it is still the same thing. There are members of the intelligence community; there are ex-military people who, it may take ten years, but they begin remembering being set in chairs with electroshock, and drugs and hypnosis while they are being given the commands for their jobs or assignments. I believe there is a lot more to be understood and learned about this as more and more survivors are taken as credible sources of information and what they describe having seen in the classified projects is brought to light in that way.

WM:

Do you feel they also used electricity to make you forget?

BT:

In fact a member of the intelligence community who helped me out told me
that a stun gun is used, and was used, because they believed it would erase memory twenty minutes on each side of the memory. When an event happened, they would use a stun gun 20 minutes into it in order to erase 20 minutes before the event had happened, and 20 minutes after. They felt confident that would erase the memory; however, I was able to access memory because I became a medicator, and I was able to access memory throughout all of it - throughout the electroshock, through the drug barriers - there really was nothing that erased my memory in ways
they thought they did. None of their techniques to erase memory was
satisfactory. Their techniques have fallen short, and I think that's why
there are so many survivors who are remembering.

WM:

When you were remembering this, particularly the electricity, was it
conscious memory, or did it come back as more body memories, how did the
memories appear?

BT:

It came back in all ways in every day of my waking hour. I really had
probably ten years of my life (once I began healing) that was not my own
either because I was so busy remembering, and documenting through writing
what I was remembering. The memories came through - things in the
environment would trigger me. I would see something and it would remind me
subconsciously and I would have a feeling, and I would follow that feeling
and that memory back into my own mind. The memory would just be there. I
had flashbacks - where, during the flashback state - information and
experiences are very clear, and very vivid, and seem as if they are
happening even that moment - things that have happened 10, 20 years ago. I recovered memory a lot through the flashback state and basically I kept a journal with me at all times. Anything that reminded me or triggered me or made me feel funny, I wrote about it. Over time all these bits and pieces of information that I wrote about all fell into line, even the ages I was versus the ages presidents were when they were office. Everything all fit together in a puzzle, a perfect picture, that I couldn't have created if I had tried to.

WM:

You mentioned the more sophisticated technology, particularly at NASA, and
some of the military bases. Can you describe that, and what effect they
were trying to have on you?

BT:

A lot of that was being sat in a chair that looked like the NASA space
chairs, where I would be strapped in. A lot of the equipment that I imagine has used by the astronauts was used on me. A lot of the spinning, the weightlessness, being put into sensory deprivation tanks. Being subjected to a lot of the light and sound along with electroshock. A lot of that where I was being delivered information like, I would have on headphones and in one ear I would be hearing one sound and in the other I would be hearing other sounds. I was programmed with tones, so a tone on a phone would have a specific meaning that would be subliminally and subconsciously connected with a command. When I was initially healing, when I would try and dial the phone, I would hit the numbers and hear the tones in my ear, it would scramble me and I couldn't think straight. I couldn't function. It was a matter of going back and consciously realizing that these tones were connected to commands that I no longer needed to follow and it took several years for that not to affect me. It still affects me; however, the equipment they used oftentimes in the auditory was using one sound in one ear, and one sound in the other which confuses the conscious mind and sends a message straight into the unconscious which is a very powerful way of controlling a person.

WM:

Do you know what kinds of things they deliberately did to prevent you from
remembering?

BT:

I don't have my diagram with me right now, but off the top of my memory,
they gave me programmed commands that should I begin remembering, I would
become confused. Should I begin remembering, I would feel tired and fall
asleep. Should I begin remembering, I would have migraine headaches. I
would have accidents. I would want to kill myself and there were very
specific ways to self-injure that I was taught which I had to fight,
literally, for a couple of years in order to stay alive to get to the
deeper levels of memory. There were endless, endless internal landmines of
boobytraps and programming that was intended to kill me or make me feel
like I was crazy or insane. Then when you add to that all the people
outside - my family that was programmed, the people who I was being
perpetrated by, with all of that, it is nearly impossible to begin
remembering unless you have a head injury or something happens that really
shakes a person up.

I also think that the continued trauma to myself, to my husband, to my
children was one of the biggest forms of attempting to keep me under
control, because the innate mother instinct is very strong and has been one that I have had to logically overcome in order to speak out, knowing that my children will be safer if I spoke out than if I kept silent.

There were also phone accesses to codes that would be called, people would
say either programmed phrases or set certain numbers on the phone where the phone would then play in my ear. It is endless. A web.

WM:

In terms of the actual programming that was done to you, was mainstream
culture in any way? You mentioned that you were taken to Disneyland ...

BT:

I was programmed with all the regular fantasy that children go through. I
saw the Disney films and was heavily programmed to all of them - The Parent Trap, with the twin sisters - that was my base programming for my twin sister programming which was the high level programming that was used in the government to keep me from knowing what my internal twin sister who was actually involved with the elite families and the government was doing. I was shown lots of movies that had very profound programming - not that the movies were programs - but the way they were used was. The film, Lost Horizons, I was programmed to be ageless unless I left. That's the theme of the film - when you leave you start aging. I had a lot of
programs where they won't age as long as they stay in. The books and films, it was one tool of programming after another - and they were all mainstream.

WM:

Do you feel that films that are currently coming out are still being used
for programming?

BT:

Yes I do, and at a higher level. I think if people continue to ignore the
profound and deep effect of what children receive as visual and auditory
images in childhood - the effect it has on their entire psyche and the
framework for which they set up belief systems. Even if they are not
programming, for their rest of their lives we need to be mindful of what
children are seeing and I think people have yet to look at how serious the
havoc that is being wreaked on children really is. If people look with the
eyes of a child to the Disney films and to a lot of the things children are watching on television and in movies, it is horrific.

WM:

Was music used at all in your experience?

BT:

I was even programmed with music to fall in love with my husband. The songs were linked with my emotions in order to initiate a state of feeling that I was in love. I watched as years went by that the music was played to me at very important times when I was to be used for something. I also was used within the entertainment industry and saw how some of the current and very famous and powerful musicians were programmed, and their music and certain phrases were encoded. Oftentimes, I even delivered programmed phrases from the elite to these entertainers, and delivered the words or the phrases they were to say during their performances when they were live and on stage. I believe that a lot of people were programmed to want to be with these people, or to revere them, or get hysterical, see them all the time, idolize them so that they would continue to return to these mass
performances for their own programming. It was a way of keeping groups
intact that were already programmed so they could be controlled.

WM:

About your book. What motivated you initially to write about your
experiences, and why did you choose to write it as a fictional work?

BT:

I was trying to stay alive. I was running from place to place, from state
to state, all by myself. Dr. Catherine Gould recommended that I stay in
contact with her and Ted Gunderson, who is a retired FBI agent who has been helping survivors and basically I was trying to stay alive and to be able to explain to people what was going on in order to keep myself and my
children safe. And I was trying to help other survivors so they could see
and perhaps it would ease their feeling of being alone and feeling crazy,
much in the same way that Lauren Stratford's, Satan's Underground, after I
had a bunch of my memories, had been something that helped me realize that I wasn't alone and I wasn't crazy.

WM:

Did you feel that the book served as a kind of insurance policy for you as
well?

BT:

Absolutely. It continues to ... in ways that ... a member of the
intelligence community told me ... I explained I had written the book and
gotten it out all over along with my actual memories, naming the names,
dates and places in a letter stating that if anything happened to me or my
children, that this information was to be made bigger and that the people
that had my information who were public already with this issue were to
take it out wider and then ... what ended up happening was it created a
huge safety-net for myself and my children.

WM:

I was going to ask why you chose not to name the names, but I think you
just answered that.

BT:

Initially I made it under Catherine Gould's recommendation in order to stay alive. Also to make the problem understood in a more simple fashion by the general public. People really had a hard time back in those days hearing the names that I was naming who they thought as their national icons or heroes as doing this horrific torture to myself and my children. I felt it was a way, in a very simple way, to help people to understand what was going on.

WM:

Can you tell us just in a general sense what kind of entertainers were
involved, and politicians?

BT:

World class, internationally known comedian, actually my owner was an
internationally renowned comedian. World leaders, Presidents, Judges,
lawyers, politicians at all levels, famous entertainers and musicians,
ministers, dentists, doctors - I mean, the list goes on and on and on. It
was my experience that there are world leaders and entertainers in
Hollywood and all over who are themselves programmed, and are in need of
healing.

WM:

Do you feel that these entertainers had intelligence connections as well?

BT:

That I have no way of knowing that. But I would say there were some types
of intelligence - I don't know actually what the connection was - whether
it was actually our intelligence communities or what. But I would often be
escorted to a very famous person's home that was an entertainer, by two men in suits and a black sedan to deliver programming. So yes, I would say it was some sort of intelligence.

WM:

How well distributed is your book, "Starshine", and how can people get a
hold of it?

BT:

Right now I can give you my PO Box that people can order it from, and that's to just write a cheque to Brice Taylor Trust, PO Box 655 Landrum, S. Carolina 29356 and I also have another book called "Revivication" which is a gentle alternative method of memory retrieval process for trauma survivors. Both books together including shipping are $25 U.S. Any bookstores carrying New Leaf Distributor books can be ordered in that manner.

********************************************************************

We have been listening to an interview with Brice Taylor, a former
Whitehouse level mind control survivor and author of "Starshine: One
woman's valiant escape from mind control." Stay tuned next week for Part 2
of this interview. You have been listening to The International Connection
here on CKLN. We are coming to the end of the series on Mind Control. It
has been going for almost a year, and we have about three more shows in
this series.

Good morning. You have tuned in to The International Connection. Today we
are in Part 2 of an interview I conducted with Brice Taylor, a former mind
controlled, Presidential model sex slave programmed to sexually service a
number of U.S. presidents, foreign dignitaries and other power brokers
while maintaining a family life in which she had no idea she was being used
by the government. They had gained this total control of her by her father
trauma conditioning her from infancy involving sexual abuse, deprivation,
ritual trauma, drugs, hypnosis and electricity, all of which created many
dissociated identities which were then programmed for certain tasks. Here
now is Part 2 of that interview:

WAYNE MORRIS:

Do you consider yourself completely free from control by your perpetrators, and have they attempted to reaccess you?

BRICE TAYLOR:

Yes I consider myself absolutely free, and I still receive harassment.
Although since I have gotten my book out, it's more on a verbal level, or
receiving things in the mail that are attempts to trigger my programming,
or like messing with my mail, and things like that.

WAYNE MORRIS:

I would like to go into a bit more detail about the kinds of things you
were used by your handlers for?

BRICE TAYLOR:

That's a big one. I was used by a member of the National Security Agency
and someone that was oftentimes close to Presidents - I was programmed with what he called "Mind Files" and I had government Mind Files where I was programmed to have perfect photographic recall of documents that I was
programmed to read and remember in my head. It was like having a computer
brain; a human computer at your access. Along with that, I was also used
with these Mind Files in order to be like a postal bank of communication
between the elite members who were bringing out the New World Order in
order to keep their world plan orchestrated and organized. I was also used
as a sex slave to Presidents and foreign leaders and entertainers here and
abroad, in order to deliver programmed messages from the elite in order to
keep the plan smoothly running and operating.

I was also used on lower levels in my community with money laundering,
pornography, prostitution. It was endless.

WM:

Do you have memories of the details of the information they were keeping in your Mind Files?

BT:

Oh yes, years of it. I spent years documenting everything. It's very
classified projects and plans for the New World Order.

WM:

Can you tell us in terms of alerting the public about what kinds of things
they are planning to bring about this New World Order, and what they
envision that this would be?

BT:

>From what I heard on the inside, in my experience sitting among these
so-called elite people, the financial elite - their plan is for a world
takeover because they feel that genetically and in every other way
physicially, the populations of the earth are inferior - of an inferior
genetic strain. What they are attempting to do is to bring down the
population through various contrived means - which is a whole other suject
all on its own - in order to bring these people to death so that the planet will be left pristine and untouched for their future progeny.

WM:

It might be a bit too late for that ...

BT:

Yeah. They feel that - and certainly I don't have the most up to date
information - survivors who have come out since I did, have more current
information of the plan. I am certain they have had to change it and alter
it in order to bring it through - they feel that what is their ace in the
hole this time, because they have tried this many, many other generations -
it's almost like a game of wits of the most intellectual and financial
power brokers being able to see what kind of game they can do here on the
small minds of the planet - these people are unwitting victims. Even people who aren't under mind control are victims of all this and will be in the future.

What I understood was that they were planning a complete and utter economic collapse of the nations that would make the Depression of 1929 look like child's play and through that, bringing people financially to their knees, they would then come in and control them, and bring in whatever other measures they would want to in the guise of rescue - when it certainly wouldn't be that at all. Personally I would like to put a call out to people who are in any way spiritually connected, knowing that this plan can never be able to be brought about as the people even at the higher levels that are participating, may be participating without knowing what they have been participating in, such as members of the intelligence community who have been compartmentalized in their knowledge of what projects they were participating in. I would certainly put scientists that are inventors in that category. I would put people that are in the Masonic Order that are perhaps at the lower levels and are serving the King at the higher levels without realizing that what they are putting their energy into thinking that they are helping children and people that are in need of help - what they are doing actually is serving the highest levels of evil and corruption and destruction of men, women and children. People need to realize that these people they are serving are turning against their own and that we need to take back our own spiritual power and stay connected spiritually in order to know what to do and how to act, and how to see the truth, and how to discern what lies and propaganda and strategies have been given over the television, over movies with intentional strategies.

I sat with the men who strategized about what thoughts and belief systems
they were trying to get people to believe so that they could continue with
the plans. Mind control was their ace in the hole this time, because they
felt that there couldn't be any mess-ups, and no human frailty or weakness
of mind or conscience if people were under mind control.

So I would just ask people to please open their eyes, and to begin to not
just take what they see that is given out by the government and the
intelligence community as truth and reality, but to begin to question and
think on their own.

WM:

Specifically how do you think mind control would be used in terms of a
takeover implementation?

BT:

I think there are people they have in positions of power, not only in the
military but in political and religious circles who are themselves under
mind control and can be used as puppets to do whatever they are instructed
to do from higher up levels. People think that we elect our presidents and
I have sat with the people who planned who the presidents were going to be
and groomed them, and told them what to do, and what to say, and how to say it, and when to say it, and when not to. And I delivered all kinds of
messages of instructions to presidents and world leaders about what to do
and what not to do. I watched as people who were good people and weren't
involved were manipulated, brainwashed and controlled by persons like
myself who were programmed, dressed in jewels and beautiful clothes, with
all the fancy and sophisticated sexual innuendoes and techniques that I
myself, my daughter, others were programmed to do and go in and just -- if
these men were at all able to be coerced they were manipulated and then
they were blackmailed. These people who are in positions of power know how to find out and research what people's weaknesses are, whether they are sex, drugs, sexual perversion, financial gain -- they lure them in and once people have been forced and coerced to participate and do the dirty deed - and a lot of times it was filmed, videotaped and documented - and these people who were already in positions of financial, political, whatever power, were then told 'this will be public knowledge and information if you don't go along with us'.

I watched people being coerced at the highest levels at parties of the
elite, where cocaine was flowing, drugs, alcohol, whatever anyone wanted -
sex with children, whatever - anything they wanted - people were given. It
was perversion at the highest level.

WM:

When you speak of the global elite, I just finished airing interviews with
Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler and they speak of this global elite as
being what is known as the Illumaniti. Is that your understanding?

BT:

Actually I couldn't name it. It was never called that inside, but I will go so far as to say it is some of the old money families ... the reason I
don't name names is there are too many of them, number one ... the names
aren't going to help us sort out the problem, but the information is. And I was clearly told by a member of White House Intelligence for 29 years that I could tell what happened, but not to name the names. I want my children brought into safety and healing, and I believe that my children's level of healing isn't going to much different than what is going to be needed for some of these people who have been involved at the highest level.

WM:

Let me go back to the point about the economy. How specifically do you
think they will manipulate the economy to bring it down?

BT:

I think we have all lived in an inflated society, not just the government,
but we have all been trained to use credit cards, buy on credit, and really we own virtually nothing anymore. If you do a crash on the financial things people have invested in - it's all just a mind game anyway - none of it's real. It cripples the economy. The specific means of how that is to be done I would say probably has fingers and feelers into the IRS, all the world banking systems that are in place, have been for years. If you follow the money, you will find a lot of the answers.

WM:

Do you believe there will be, for example, a stock market crash?

BT:

I don't like to predict these kinds of things but I would say that is a
strategy that in the past I have heard and know has been used in the past.
I would feel like I would be disrespectful to people to say that I know
that to be sure, but I have certainly heard it. But I have been out for a
number of years and things change and strategies change. They alter them as they perhaps are uncovered or being a problem to the plan.

WM:

What do you feel that the public can do to thwart their intentions?

BT:

I think people need to contact their local politicians and demand
information be divulged about the government experiments, the medical,
radiation, drug experiments, mind control experiments - all of that. I
think as people start learning about the internal structure of the Masonic
Order and how the programming is working and how people's brain waves can
be altered and messed with, even at a distance ... I think people need to
get very instructed and educated about what has gone on. I think people
need to begin to simplify their lives ... financially and in all ways in
order to be able to take the time to evolve spiritually and see what's
really going on and connect deeply. Unfortunately I think people are going
to have the opportunity to make a spiritual stand as people were during the times of Nazi Germany where they housed babies and people who were going to be killed due to a sick genetic belief system. I believe that as people are able to really take a stand and understand and help that it will turn things around, but I think a lot has been put into place and it's going to take some time to undo it ... obviously with all the people who are under mind control who need to be healed.

WM:

>From the global elite perspective, what do they consider threats to their
plan?

BT:

I think the exposure of the plan would be a threat to their plan ... people being in charge of themselves and understanding that there are projects such as the HAARP project that are altering the frequency of the planet and the minds of the people that are here and demanding that that project be stopped ... stopping the military from being able to hide research and instrumentation and experimentation of weaponry that is oftentimes unable to be seen ... it is invisible but it is damaging to the public and to the world. Demand to know what their tax dollars are being used for ... which, from my perspective, people are paying taxes in order that all this research be done on mind control, on everything else ... and they are paying for their own demise, paying for their own destruction.

They are fuelling the government agencies and the military who have been
given such a high priority on this earth for destruction instead of funding education and teaching children how to think and critically analyze, and empowering people. It's all built on a military mind, and bent on destruction, and control, and power.

WM:

When you had access to this information, what was their time frame for
bringing this about or did this come up?

BT:

Within the next couple of years ... the plan was intended to be culminated
by the year 2000.

WM:

Is there a particular significance to the years 1998 and 1999 in terms of
their own occult belief system?

BT:

It's a perversion of Christianity, it's a perversion of Christ. Everything
that I ever saw was a perversion of everything that is good ...

WM:

I have heard a number of survivors talk about "end-time programming", do
you have any knowledge of that and what it entails?

BT:

I had that too ... I never actually got to what my job was, but I knew that there was a job I was programmed to have and do during those end times. I think that people were programmed and are still programmed to create endless chaos. With the general population being so ignorant about the mind control technology, about how targeted energy can affect brain waves, about all of the higher level technology ... that they are blinded to all of this ... and that's dangerous.

WM:

Do you feel that therapists and other professionals have made any headway
to disable this kind of programming?

BT:

I think the therapists who have been working diligently in this for years,
and I highly honour them. I am very grateful, and I think they have done it a lot, and they have done it against all odds, and at a great sacrifice
professionally and in every way. I think that certainly bringing the
programming to light and to conscious awareness dismantles much of it, and
I think that EEG biofeedback technology is something therapists can use so
instead of taking 10-15 years to reintgrate someone with DID, that it can
be done within a year or two without so much disruption to the person's
functional life.

WM:

How long do you think it has taken them to actually program these people to the level they can be used to participate in the plans?

BT:

Usually it's the intergenerational abuse, so children that are going to be
used on official levels are programmed first and it takes years. I
understand that starting in the seventies, children that weren't from
intergenerational families began to be programmed in daycare centres which
is where you have the McMartin preschool case and all of these cases where the children told what happened, and were either initially believed and the people from the inside came out and said this never happened and had the cases turned around and make the children look not credible.

That's another question I always ask people. As a child when I told, how
would I have know about all the sexual stuff unless I had seen it? Adults
need to logically think about how a child would ever even conceive of this
kind of horror, and yet not just one or two children are coming up with
this, but hordes of children from all over the world. People have got to
start looking at this logically. This is not just the stupid False Memory
Syndrome Foundation -- this is something much bigger. Children have better things to be doing and don't have the ability to create this kind of organized horror ...

WM:

You alluded to child prostitution and pornography. How closely is this
connected to these global elites and the plans with the New World Order?

BT:

From my perspective and experience, I believe the child pornography and
prostitution was done for their pleasure and entertainment. My daughter and my son were prostituted, taken to parties where the elite or anybody who wanted to have sex with them was able to go in and have sex with children. I think it is used as an incredible fund-raising ability to bring in large amounts of money underground with child pornography in international markets where it is highly sought after and brings in a lot of money for their operations.

WM:

In your opinion, how widespread do you think trafficking in children is
going on today?

BT:

I think that it's enough that if normal people knew how widespread it was,
it would bring them to their knees. It's like Ted Gunderson says, as an ex
member of the FBI, in California they knew exactly where all the stolen
cars were but no one had any idea about any statistics or any idea about
where all the missing children went ...

WM:

In your opinion can you estimate how many you think have been programmed,
how many are mind control victims?

BT:

I never heard or saw a number on the inside. I know there are a lot of
people healing, and I get letters from survivors all over the world. A
statistic I did hear from a member of the intelligence community one time
was for the Presidential model project where women were programmed to
sexually service presidents and the elite was 3000 in this country. That
would mean there were 3000 women, and then as in my case, my daughter would follow in my footsteps. It's like a pyramid game. As the generations go on, the numbers of people gets larger as the families continue to propagate.

WM:

Can you speak to what kind of similarities you see in survivors' accounts,
and what geographical areas they are from?

BT:

Actually, physically they are from all over the world, so I haven't really
seen 'everybody is from California' or 'everybody is from Nevada'. It's not like that. But people do name a lot of the same military bases and I will just say for myself and my daughter were programmed heavily at Point ______ Naval Base where they had dolphin tanks in research, and there were places at Edwards Air Force Base and all sorts of different locations. But I think our commonalities are that we are all naming either major medical hospitals where arms of different medical research projects were done, or military bases, or NASA stations ... it's an organized pictures. It's not just some little satanic cult operating here and there.
It's all very organized.

WM:

Have the people you have spoken to had similar experiences in terms of
starting from an early age, and being exposed to these satanic rituals,
abuses and what percentage of people are involved in the government mind
control that you have spoken about?

BT:

Actually most of the survivors I have met have been used more at local
levels, not within the government, but used more at a lower level. However
there have been ten or twelve other Presidential models that I have met. I have met women who come up to me and are afraid to give me much of their story, but will say so-and-so was also my abuser, or they remember the same man. A lot of my validation has come from not naming the names and for many of these women who are so frightened and have never read my book and they find me out in the hall, and corner me, and name the names and oftentimes they are some of the high level perpetrators that were also my abusers. I quietly validate them and they go off and heal knowing they are not crazy.

WM:

I want to also to talk about the criminal connection to other organized
crime, and particularly trafficking in children, and I wondered if you
could shed any information about what you have been exposed to.

BT:

As far as the criminal connection, my memories and my experiences as a
child were heavily Mob involved as well as CIA and government, different
medical universities and military bases that were used.

BT:

As far as that criminal activity, how it all weaves in, I believe is just
as ___ that are used in order to benefit from the child trafficking and is
able to use these children and certainly the pornography and prostitution,
and to bring in other children -- there's a place in my book where I talk
aobut how I was used under mind control to enlist other children into an
automobile in California. These were children, as far as I was aware as a
child, that probably did not have the background or programming, or had not
even been abused, that were kidnapped off the street and enticed with the
use of another child to bring them in. And then once they were in the car
they were trapped and I watched as they were used in pornography and were
used in snuff films in which they were actually killed during the filming,
and then were disposed of in whatever manner. Certainly this type of what
some of these sick and sadistic people think of as entertainment that feeds
their own perversions and their own sick senses, is what has really brought
in a large financial base. This has been exposed by other women who have
talked about the funds being used for black operations, CIA government mind
control, different medical experiments that were being done. This is where
a lot of the funding for these activities comes from.

WM:

These tie in with the criminal activities such as (as you mentioned) child
pornography, prostitution, drug trafficking. How widespread, in your
opinion, is trafficking in children?

BT:

I think it is very widespread, and I can think that the public has been
seriously fooled by the False Memory Syndrome Foundation and a lot of the
media that has gone on saying that all these cases that have come up with
the preschools and the different agencies around the country where children
are coming forward and telling what happened to them -- that does include
pornography. Statements are being made in sexual ways and certainly about
abuse in the child's mind, and they are being discredited. And I believe
the children are telling the truth. They are saying the same things that
happened to me and lot of other women across the country. And we are
certainly being discredited by the media. From what I understand and from
the first persona accounts I hear, the people who are my age and go back
even older and younger are talking about the amount of children in
preschools that have been programmed, that may have not been in a
generational ritual abuse ties, but who have been programmed and used in
the pornography and prostitution in order to create great avenues of
funding. I think that combined with kids who are found missing of the
street and kidnapped in an attempt to use them as a means of funding - all
of this horror continues to go unchecked by the public population that
finds all of this so incredulous - that they don't even believe it. So here
we have survivors and children who are also revictimized by a disbelieving
public and oftentimes uninformed mental health and church system who are
unable to believe that this kind of atrocity has gone on, so they are
unable to come to these children's aid or to the adult survivors who are
attempting to find avenues of relief and help in order to stop this and
help themselves.

WM:

It really seems that their biggest coverup for all of these atrocities is
the public's disbelief.

BT:

Walter Bowart who wrote "Operation Mind Control" has a blurb in his book
that says the big secrets are protected by their incredulity. And certainly
I believe that those who strategized this plan were very well aware that
when all of us started talking about these things that just like in Nazi
Germany - people still today believe that a lot of those horrors didn't
happen - that people will turn away and deny what really happened because
it is so horrific and incredulous.

WM:

Speaking of Nazi Germany, there have been a number of allegations that
there has been Nazi involvement, particularly in regard to Project
Paperclip, of importing Nazis after WWII into the United States. Have you
come across any Nazi connections in your experience?

BT:

Yes I have, and just to enlarge and expand a little bit on Project
Paperclip, Linda Hunt wrote a book about this in which she explained that
Mark Phillips who was an intelligence officer and he personally told me
that he was part of bringing in some of these Nazi doctors - bringing them
into our country and giving them immunity - that he was unaware at the time
of the full ramifications of what these people were doing within our
country. Right there is the Nazi connection of how these men who were a lot
of the scientists and doctors who had used the population of prisoners in
the concentration camps as their unwitting and unwilling and suffering
people as their population of research and how then they were brought to
our country and put into the major universities and research centers in
order to further their research mind control and were given over to the
population of ritual abuse survivors in order to have now another group to
experiment on of which certainly myself and my children were a part of that
- but also included genetic experiments that were done to me and to my
children. As far as the Nazi connections that I am aware of in my past, I
am aware of my mother telling me my father went to some neo nazi meeting
along with my grandmother when I was just a little girl. I know that in a
lot of my recovery work the symbol that I kept drawing over and over was
the swastika, the Nazi symbol. I saw that symbol as a child at some of the
satanic ritual ceremonies that were done to me and others and certainly I
believe that is a very large part of all of this. As society continues to
want to even put Nazi Germany and the horrors of those people that suffered
in the concetration camps under the rug and not look at it - it continues
to proliferate here - even within our country - as these people are still
getting away with doing the human experimentation and torturing people today.

WM:

Do you feel that the experiments that were done in the Nazi concentration
camps during the holocaust were for the purposes of developing mind control?

BT:

Definitely. In fact last year I went to the Holocaust Museum in Washington,
D.C. and saw their pictures of the actual brain experimentation and a lot
of the research that was done, and it's all there for people that have the
eyes to see - that this absolutely was experimentation - there are pictures
of people being experimented on.

WM:

Do you have, in your experience - did you come across Josef Mengele in the
United States? A number of survivors of mind control have named him as
being involved in their abuse in the U.S. post WWII era - was that part of
your experience?

BT:

No actually, it wasn't but there were doctors at UCLA Neuropsychiatric
Institute who very instrumental in my programming and where I reported to
oftentimes by myself as a result of responding to my programmed
instructions to report there and where my programming was checked in on,
and made into whatever the needs were at the time. There were doctors all
over the country that I reported to in various military installations and
certainly UCLA.

WM:

A number of people I have interviewed have talked about the occult ideology
of these groups that are responsible for perpetrating mind control. What do
you think the significance of that is?

BT:

I think that historically now - I have been able now to read back and to
understand that the occult plans for this New World Order go back
generations and were built on very heavily with what seemingly looks like
religious ideology. I believe that the occult belief system and the
evilness of that and the destructiveness, and certainly interlaced with
superstitious belief is what continues to allow these things to proliferate
as people's belief systems. They belief these perversions give them the
power to take it forward into these times. I think that it's like for the
satanists to believe that these satanic rituals and all of the perversions
that are done during these rituals allow them in their belief system to
believe they are gaining power by doing all these horrors and stealing
energy from children and babies, in all of the different ways they are
killing. It allows them to continue on. Until these belief systems are
cleaned up and until people (the good people on the planet) are able to
weave through their own denial that this level of atrocity could still be
going on today, I think that's where the problem lies. It's until the
people who are perpetrating this occultic belief meet up with the denial of
people, even Christians, who can't believe this and say they are frightened
by it, and don't want to deal with it - it's my experience in watching that
if people do nothing that the children continue to be tortured and abused.

WM:

Do you think this ties in in a general sense with these groups that have
been using mind control in their motivation towards more and more power and
wealth? I could ask, "Don't these old money power groups have enough money
already?"
What is motivating them to perpetuate these atrocities?

BT:

What I saw from the inside sitting in a group of these men who were
strategizing - it's almost like some of these people are so unbalanced
intellectually - certainly fuelled by whatever horrific abusive, unloving,
uncaring systems they may have come from - that they view and believe very
strongly in the intellect and not feelings or any kind of caring or love or
anything like that. They more or less look at this as a game of their
intellect - like a group of powerful men sitting in a room thinking up
strategies of how they might be able to control the world and what benefits
they might be able to have. From what I saw, it seemed like it was a big
game to them and in fact they used with me - and part of my programming was
a chess game where they used different pieces of that chess game to
represent different world leaders and this was how the game was played, and
it was all used in a very symbolic way. I believe these people are very
intelligent and are able to strategize and come up with a plan but it's
almost as if the stakes have to get raised higher, just like in a poker
game, of who could control who and how successful they would be in seeing
how they could control the minds of the entire planet.

WM:

I want to ask you if you are aware of any direct government ties to some of
the satanic cults that seem to have proliferated across North America and a
lot of survivors have come forward with their accounts of these cults. I
suppose there are a lot of different levels there in terms of their
involvement with the overall government mind control picture. I want to ask
if you knew of any direct government ties to some of these cults.

BT:

The government ties to the cults are the politicians that I believe have
realized and are very aware that people in the cults, especially in the
satanic cults where they are born and have multiple personality systems
from the abuse in the family, are certainly prime candidates because of
their dissociative abilities and inability to stay present in a unified,
whole way with their minds to even know what's going on. I believe that
through the politicians and through the military - the bases were used with
a lot of the equipment for the mind control and certainly used as a way to
cover up these experiments by saying they were military projects. There is
a base in California, Point Magoo Naval Base on the coast there, it was
real close to my house where myself and my children reported. That base was
until recently armed with a man with a gun in the tower. You want to ask
people what - in my recovery I wanted to ask people, "why would you think
that a military base here in California on the coast would need to have men
with submachine guns standing up in the guard tower?" I believe that the
military was used as a branch of the government in order to house these
projects in a way they could be kept secret from the public and yet here
the public is paying taxes and actually funding these research projects in
ways that they have no idea where their money is going. People are only
beginning to demand to know about these secret projects through the Freedom
of Information Act. I think the government ties are very strong. There are
certain individuals within the government who have certainly been a part of
this New World Order plan. From what I saw with the presidents all being
involved with their Masonic connections, and certainly some of them with
higher Masonic connections than others. The mind control technology is
hidden at the level of the 33 degree Masons. I believe this branches out to
a lot of top hierarchy of a lot of organizations and not just the
government - but also into the major corporations of the world where a lot
of the corporate heads have been manipulated into this system. Where there
is talent, money, power and control the secrecy has worked its way in.

WM:

Do you have any inside information about their control over the media and
connections there, in how they manipulate the media?

BT:

Absolutely. I was amongst them when they were planning in the late 60's and
70's when they were planning strategies of how the information would go
into the newspapers and I listened as they talked about some of the major
families who owned some of the newspapers, and how through owning a lot of
the major media, which I believe now is pretty complete if people were able
to look back and trace the histories of a lot of the media, they would be
able to see that this is all pretty much locked up and these things are
censored when any of these subjects begin to work their way into the media.
I know one intelligence officer told me there was a Russian intelligence
officer who was being interviewed on television and they asked him a
question and he said "the Americans have won the war of the mind" and they
whisked him off the air and he never even showed back up - that was it - it
never went any farther. I believe the media is in a large coverup right now
and people are listening, and hearing a lot of stories that have been
strategized in an attempt to have them believe what these people want them
to believe instead of actually getting the truth of what has gone on.

WM:

The media is currently creating a lot of furor over this latest Clinton
scandal. I wondered if you could comment on that and if there is any
indications that any of these women who are coming forward have been used
like you have been?

BT:

As a Presidential model, and speaking on behalf of other Presidential
models and women I have spoken to within the last week or so - we all feel
quite a victory that his reputation is being challenged - and that the
truth is being brought forth. I would like to commend Paula Jones and even
stand with her as knowing this is a reality, and this man needs to be
stopped in his sexual perversions. I would say that personally for me, I
was devastated when he was re-elected and I should and do try to remind
myself all the time that the Presidents aren't really elected but I think
it is going to take the Americans of the world to take back this country,
and to really research and find out what is going on and to stop it and to
realize that our leaders, even if they are not in control with themselves,
may have an agenda here that is not for the good of the whole.

WM:

Do you think the scandal may have possibly been engineered against Clinton
by another power group - with not good intentions either?

BT:

I have no way of knowing that. I think this man has perpetrated more horror
to women on this planet, as well as a lot of the violence that has gone on
- that continuous attempts for it to be leaked out to alternative media
sources and the American public still is so - I don't know if they are so
busy trying to earn a living for their families that they don't have time
to research what their leaders are doing. It seems like up until now people
have been pretty shortsighted. There are and have to be good people within
the White House and within the intelligence community who may not know what
is going on, and don't understand the mind control or the levels of how it
has been used to manipulate and certainly may be behind some of these
scandals, or allowing them to leak at least some of the truth to the press.
I think it's a wonderful thing that at least our President is being called
into check about some of the allegations that are made repeatedly against
him as far as his sexuality and adultery, and all the perversions that
follow it.

WM:

In your experience, is Clinton any different than any other presidents in
that regard?

BT:

No.

WM:

What do you feel is necessary to bring all of this into more public
limelight to expose these atrocities?

BT:

I think it is going to take a lot of education for people, and I think it
is going to take the public waking up and coming out of denial about the
level of evil that people are able to perpetrate on other people. I think
people are going to need to take the survivor accounts into a belief arena
in order to stop what has gone on because everybody is going to be a victim
of this. Certainly the victims of mind control have suffered immensely
through years of torture and trauma, but society also is a victim of this
because until people are reintegrated and deprogrammed they are a threat to
peace in society. As people well know, the programming that was done was
not as effective and able to control people as they thought and as people
break down their programming. It's a problem for society as people become
violent. We find children who are killing their parents; we find that
behind that is satanic abuse but it's not allowed into the court system and
the reality of this has been covered up in so many different ways that the
public isn't getting the truth of what is really happening?

WM:

What plans do you and other survivors have of bringing this into more of a
public view?

BT:

Well certainly Wayne, I speak out whenever I have a chance whether it be
radio, tv, workshops, conferences - I speak out all over the nation and
that is certainly one avenue of giving out information. Writing books, and
I encourage other survivors to write what happened to them and get it out.
I think that another Presidential Commission needs to be brought where a
greater number of women are able to come forward with their stories to
stand with Valerie Wolf and her survivor clients who were so courageous and
stepped forward and opened the door on the mind control experiments. I
think it is going to take a grassroots movement of women who have been
through this to expose it and stop it. I think that will be a very powerful
avenue.

WM:

Brice, I would like to thank you very much for joining us in this radio
series. I know it took a lot of courage to come forward as you have, and I
wish you all the strength in your ongoing struggle to bring this to light.

BT:

Thank you Wayne. I really appreciate the opportunity of sharing my story
with you."

***************************************************

Thanks for the Memories

2
Acknowledgements..........................................................................................................................3
Foreward by Walter Bowart: Thanks for the Memmemmormee!? ...........................................7
Historical Overview: Mind Control in the Modern Context .....................................................12
Project Monarch: Nazi Mind Control by Ron Patton ................................................................14
Manufacturing the Mind Controlled Slave..................................................................................25
Awakening to the Realities of Mind Control...............................................................................31
Authors's Introduction...................................................................................................................35
Chapter One: The Creation of Human Robot .............................................................................40
Chapter Two: Early Childhood Preparation ...............................................................................43
Chapter Three: We’re Off to See the Wizard...............................................................................57
Chapter Four: Uncle Charlie, Kissinger, Hope and their Little Puppet..................................65
Chapter Five: Initiation into the Political Arena as a Sex Slave...............................................74
Chapter Six: JFK and the Sex Shuttle..........................................................................................83
Chapter Seven: All the way with LBJ...........................................................................................92
Chapter Eight: Brain Surgery at UCLA took away my Father’s Free Will ..............................96
Chapter Nine: They didn’t see me as Human.............................................................................99
Chapter Ten: Introduced to Governor Ronald Reagan ...........................................................107
Chapter Eleven: Mind Control in the Prisons...........................................................................110
Chapter Twelve: Nixon, Kissinger, and International Business ............................................116
Chapter Thirteen: Bob Hope “Let me entertain you.” .............................................................135
Chapter Fourteen: Parties at the Rockefellers..........................................................................147
Chapter Fifteen: Hope and Kissinger Utilize the Kennedy Family........................................159
Chapter Sixteen: Viva Las Vegas ................................................................................................163
Chapter Seventeen: The Rat Pack ..............................................................................................171
Chapter Eighteen: Gerald Ford...................................................................................................183
Chapter Nineteen: My Programmed Marriage – We’ve Only Just Begun ...........................186
Chapter Twenty: Jimmy Carter ..................................................................................................189
Chapter Twenty-one: The Hollywood Connection...................................................................190
Chapter Twenty-two: Prince Phillip, Prince Charles, and Princess Di .................................203
Chapter Twenty-three: They Stole My Baby .............................................................................206
Chapter Twenty-four: USC: Higher Education or Mind Control...........................................208
Chapter Twenty-five: Baby Monarchs are Born.......................................................................215
Chapter Twenty-six: Dodger Diamonds ....................................................................................239
Chapter Twenty-seven: Education 2000...................................................................................243
Chapter Twenty-eight: Reagan, Kissinger, Bush and More Horrors ....................................247
Chapter Twenty-nine: Back to the Future.................................................................................255
Chapter Thirty: UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute...................................................................264
Chapter Thirty-one: Weaponry Technology of the Future .....................................................268
Chapter Thirty-two: Robot Breakdown.....................................................................................274
Chapter Thirty-three: Bill Clinton and Hillary.........................................................................277
Chapter Thirty-four: Excuse Me, I Would Like My Life Back................................................280
Chapter Thirty-five: Secret Societies .........................................................................................296
Chapter Thirty-six: The Council’s Plan......................................................................................299
Chapter Thirty-seven: What the World Needs Now................................................................308
Chapter Thirty-eight: A Mother and Grandmother’s Sorrow ................................................316
Epilogue ........................................................................................................................................321
Survivor Resources .......................................................................................................................325
Suggested Reading........................................................................................................................325
3
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
TO MY CHILDREN COLLECTIVELY--Mountains of love are still held in reserve for each of you as I take
this necessary step toward insuring your ultimate freedom. Please forgive me for divulging and making
public the persons and events that should have remained private to your lives. However, the magnitude
of the problem we face requires that I do as God guides me. I know that in a 'normal' healthy family I
would have been able to discuss this all with you so we could have decided how to do this together. But,
that was not possible. Forgive me for taking any liberties that may effect your lives in ways I could not
have anticipated. I have put my decisions before the Lord and trust in His infinite wisdom to lead us all
to sweet peace and freedom. The mother-child bond we share has very powerfully been the wind beneath
my wings.
KEVIN--My child who was also my friend. Thanks for always being so helpful, capable, thoughtful of
others, kind and cheerful. I am proud of you and pray for your release so that you can take the many
talents and gifts you possess and use them in ways you and you alone choose. I love you Kev.
KELLY--A promise is a promise! And I will keep mine to you. I will never let go, and I will never stop
exposing this and seeking help, no matter what. Thank you for always being so kind and loving. Your
gentle nature and the immense love you are shines through even the mind control you are under, in ways
everyone can feel. I pray for your release from the programmed state that keeps you shut away from
yourself and the world. I miss you and know that God is working powerfully in and through you to bring
healing to you and others. I love's ya.
DANNY--My child who walks to the beat of a different drummer. I wait in great anticipation to see what
you do with the many individual gifts and talents that are yours, yet not yet yours. I grieve for the
necessary separation that caused you to have to grow up without a mom at a very early age. I pray that
God will restore those years in divine ways. I love you more than you could ever know!
TO THE BABY SON TAKEN FROM MY ARMS AT BIRTH--My soul longs for you. I still grieve the
immense loss of your physical presence. I've missed you over the years and look forward to our reunion if
it is God's will! God has promised restoration of family and I look forward to meeting you again, only this
time as a big strong man!
MY PARENTS--Thank you for allowing me passage into the genetic and spiritual structures that would
insure the success of my mission here on earth. I love you for birthing me and for allowing me to have
the necessary experiences my soul required to learn and make my contribution. Dad, your ability to be
ahead of your time and Mom, your ability to unconditionally love, even under mind control, helped me
find my way, ultimately. I know now that you were both caught in the same dark web that I found myself
in. I love and forgive you both.
CRAIG--We never had a chance, but we did love each other through it. Thank you for your gentle nature
and for supporting me in the ways that you were able toward my recovery. I forgive you. Do you forgive
me?
MY BROTHERS--Like Pop told us: "May the Truth Set Us All Free!"
CATHERINE GOULD, PHD--What would I have done without you? Thank you for so many things, the
first of which saved my life ...the clever safety letter attached to my memory packets that I believe kept
me alive. Your continued support and helpful listening ear proved to give me that extra leg up that I
needed to trust myself in order to go forward with this manuscript.
4
MARGIE PAUL, PhD--Thank you for helping me connect to my innate spirituality and my inner child
(children) and for holding and loving those little one's within me as I healed. Thanks for your willingness
to go into the fearsome darkness with me and for your dedication to love, stretching beyond professional
rules to serve in the ways I needed. I love you!
TED GUNDERSON--Thank you for helping me begin to stay safe with security measures and
bodyguards and for kneeling before the Lord while the Holy Spirit worked within us, so that together we
could work toward exposing the horrors that have been a part of so many victims' lives, in order that
those planning the New World Order would fail. Thank you for being there over the years to remind me
when I became discouraged, "Remember who wins in the end!" May God's larger plan set the captives
free at last!
WALTER BOWART--May God bless you abundantly for holding the space of truth for victims of all ages
starting way back in 1978 when your first edition of Operation Mind Control hit the bookstores. You have
stayed in the battle for truth and justice and I thank you for continuing to hold onto the reality which
most were faint of heart and not strong enough to endure. Thank you for being there!
JOE--Thanks for encouraging me to continue and for teaching me the place mat method.
LAUREN STRATFORD--Thank you for being courageous enough to heed the call of the Lord when you
walked out in front of us all to pioneer a healing path for those who wanted to be healed. Thank you for
your encouragement in times of trouble and may God bless you for your continued support of survivors
all over the world. I love you.
LYNN MOSS-SHARMON--Who had the spiritual courage, fortitude and determination to found Stone
Angels to support mind control victims in Canada, and then ACHES-MC (ADVOCACY COMMITTEE
FOR HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION SURVIVORS-MIND CONTROL). Your work is crucial, as you've
documented the reality of mind control experimentation through the chronicling of countless victims'
testimony. May the Great Spirit richly reward you for your beautiful spiritual purity and faith ...and your
work here!
BOBBI GAGNE-May the love and compassion you have shown for countless survivors return to you
multiplied. Thank you for educating many in the field of law enforcement so they may now help victims
who are still suffering. Thank you for doing what Christ would do! I love you!
ALICE MILLER--The example you showed me through your books was priceless. Through them I was to
learn that by trusting my own experience, especially those that I had as a child, that I might transcend
what is currently known in order to more fully advocate for children.
STUART PERLMAN, PHD--Thanks for telling me the truth was within, when others told me to forget the
past and live in the present. You were right! Thank you for listening for hours to the horror of my past. I
know it was very difficult for you to hear. God Bless You!
CLAIRE REEVES--President, Mothers Against Sexual Abuse (MASA)--Thank you for holding the shield
of protection for children and for being there for and with me, even
in court, when I began exposing my affluent abusers back in 1992! I know it has been difficult at times
and that you have had to withstand much opposition, but just know that many have been helped because
of the work you have done! God Bless You.
MARGARET-My sister in Christ. Thank you for being my trusted secretary, best friend, and support
team through the rough times. I thank Jesus for guiding you into my life so that together we could fulfill
5
His plan for freeing His children, large and small! May God bless and keep you all the days of your life.
You are so precious to me.
MARY LEWIS--For constantly doing what Jesus would do. Without funds, outward direction, or much
support you have single-handedly done a miraculous job in helping endless victims of mind control
break free and heal. May God bless and keep you safe as you continue His work!
LOWELL LEWIS--For bringing humor and love to your work in supporting Mary and the many victims
that the two of you have worked with and loved over the years. Thanks for sharing your Bible with me.
STUART MERLOT--Thank you for your continued support of me (especially with the editing) and your
awesome devotion toward exposing and ending the inner workings of the New World Order and of the
mind control that fuels it. Thank you for not stopping, even when it seemed hopeless. May your
selflessness and dedication be richly rewarded by God.
JUDITH--Thanks for your loving support and help in the initial typesetting.
DORIS--My loving prayer partner. Thank you for your continued prayers for my family's release. I love
you.
TERRY-Thank you for your loving support through the intense birthing of this book.
LAURENCE--Thank you for teaching me how to rest and for being my friend.
ELIZABETH--Thank you for being the beautiful light of compassion and love, and for crying when you
first heard me speak about my life. Thanks for being with Kelly while I studied the brainwave technology
that enabled me to help her at home and for encouraging me to keep learning, when I felt I couldn't do it!
Your constant prayers have been an incredible upliftment! God Bless You.
CHIP TATUM--Thank you for heroically sharing your first hand witness of CIA mind control, even
validating it on video with me! I'm sorry you had to go to prison for telling the truth, but I'm so grateful
that now you are free! God Bless you and your wife in your new life.
ALL THOSE THAT WENT BEFORE--I want to thank all those courageous souls who gave their lives in
the service of ending this abuse.
JESUS--The love of my life, my Lord and Savior. Thank You for Your leading. Thank you for bringing the
Holy Spirit to lead and guide me through the danger to make this contribution. It is because of You that I
survived through this life and healed in order to bring the truth to light. Continue to work in me to create
my mind to be more like Yours!
6
A NOTE TO RITUAL ABUSE SURVIVORS AND/OR THOSE UNDER MIND CONTROL, WHETHER
CONSCIOUS AND IN RECOVERY OR STILL UNCONSCIOUS AND UNAWARE
Certain material contained within these pages may illustrate the precepts of mind control. Nothing in
this book should create any problems in the internal structure of those who have Dissociative Identity
Disorder (formerly called Multiple Personality Disorder), or those currently under mind control;
however, some survivors report difficulty in reading anything which relates to their current perception of
their victimization. Readers who know or suspect they are incest, ritual abuse, or mind control survivors
and are in therapy would do well to consult with God before reading this book.
The mention of an office, service, or organization in this book does not constitute endorsement or
recommendation by the author, and should not be relied upon as such, but is provided for information
purposes only.
The author, editor, or publisher can in no way be held liable for the use or misuse of the information in
this book.
7
Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
Foreward by Walter Bowart: Thanks for the Memmemmormee!?1
More than 25 years have passed since I began research into what was then called "brainwashing,"
a comically euphemistic term invented in the 1950's by CIA propaganda specialist Edward Hunter. It's
been 21 years since my book on the subject Operation Mind Control was published internationally, and
five years since it reappeared as the greatly expanded Limited Researcher's Edition, featuring an account
of "Lois" that offers a synopsis of the book you hold in your hands. Now it can be told. "Lois" is Susan
Ford, whose pseudonym is Brice Taylor. Her book Thanks for the Memories, which, by all reports is
greatly anticipated by an audience better educated than the one I encountered in the 1970's, is now
published for all the world to read.
I wrote my book Operation Mind Control while living in Arizona, still 'a backward state,
dominated by Federal funds and jobs, and the dissociated and extremely provincial beliefs that come
with it. In the 70's most of the people I spoke with about what I called, generically, "mind control"
thought I was crazy. Those who were not afraid to express their opinions on the subject believed it to be
impossible. They strongly believed they could not be made to do something against their will and
without their own knowledge. They believed they had indomitable powers of will, like the CIA funded
psychologist, Timothy Leary's fellow debater and Watergate burglar, G. Gordon Liddy. They believed,
beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they could not be broken, fragmented, and mentally enslaved by any
technology, even if it included hypnosis, drugs, electronic brain stimulation or what came to be called
biological process control.
My interest in this subject was piqued by a young man, David, I had known all my life. He
returned from a four-year tour with the United States Air Force in a confused and deeply tormented
state. You could not say that he had a destroyed mind. He suffered from complete amnesia about the
past years of service in the USAF, but he was making straight "A's" in premedical courses at a prominent
University.
I did not recognize him as he sat, slumped in an overstuffed chair in my living room in 1973. He
had undergone a couple of years of treatment with a competent psychiatrist and was finally asked by her,
"Do you want to know what this is and how it was created, or do you just want to be able to function?" He
decided the functioning was good enough, and his treatment accelerated, taking a wide turn away from
the historical events he remembered, which included being a "human tape recorder" and witnessing the
most secret negotiations with North Vietnam and with "Royals" of the Arabic persuasion who beheaded a
prisoner he had just witnessed being interrogated. The image of this decapitation still haunts him in his
dreams.
In 1973 the Rockefeller Commission's Report revealed that CIA Director Richard Helms had
supposedly destroyed 153 separate files on a long running, top secret project called MKULTRA, as his
last act in office. In years to come many of those files were discovered as "misplaced" files. They
revealed a long history of criminal activities by individuals who hid behind the National Security Act and
ran amok, arrogantly treating citizens of their own country as just so many lab rats.
"I can hypnotize a man -- without his knowledge or consent -- into committing treason against the
United States..." -- Dr. George Estabrooks, 1943.
This Canadian-born Rhodes Scholar was a hypnosis expert and former Professor at Colgate University
with long-standing ties to U.S. military and domestic intelligence, and to Martin Orne, MD, a master
1 James Joyce, Finnigan's Wake, 1938
8
"spy-chiatrist," author of Patty Hearst's "brainwashing" defense, and founding Board member of the
False Memory "Spindrome" Foundation.
As I was researching The Rockefeller Commission's Report, following anecdotal evidence, putting
the pieces together, then writing what turned out to be Operation Mind Control, I felt like the villagers in
this Sufi tale:
An elephant had entered a cave near a town in Morrocco and had bellowed all night, keeping the whole
village awake. Nobody in the town had seen an elephant, nor did anyone know what an elephant looked
like.
The villagers held a meeting and four brave people among them volunteered to go into the cave to
investigate what was making the strange bellowings.
The first one felt the elephant's trunk and came running out to report a large python was making the noise
they heard
The second one felt afoot and came out to report that a palm tree was making the noise. The third one felt
the elephant's tail and came out to report that a broom, obviously controlled by a witch, was making the
noise.
The fourth villager felt the elephant's ear and came out to report that there was nothing to fear because a
large leaf from a tropical plant was making the noise.
Once they understood there was nothing to fear, the villagers went to sleep that night and didn't hear the
elephant snorting and bellowing as he left the cave. Nor did they mention it again.
In those days, shrinks (psychiatrists and psychologists) told me that what I was reporting were the
results of a disease called "schizophrenia." The word meant fragmented personality, but in time,
schizophrenia turned out to be a familial disease which could be treated and controlled with medication.
The stories I was reporting took several years to understand. I eventually discovered that what I was
reporting was the real cause of the cryptocracy's trained elephant in the particular cave next to our
hometown.
I cannot tell you the experiences Sue Ford reports are accurate to the letter, since I was not a
witness to all of them. But, as I revealed in Operation Mind Control (1994), I once saw Sue on a Palm
Springs golf course in the company of her alleged handler, Bob Hope. At that time I was Editor-in-Chief
of Palm Springs Life magazine, which had just won the "Maggie" Award for publishing the best city
magazine. It was at the Bob Hope Classic that I saw Sue, but I didn't speak to her, as I was busy covering
the happenings and celebrities, which have graced the magazine since the 1950's. Sue was one of the Bob
Hope Classic hostesses, assisting the public and the press in a variety of functions.
My path crossed Sue's again years later when I was interviewing another survivor of mind control,
but I'll spare you those details. Just read my book. I can tell you that Sue Ford believes the story she has
written with all her being, and her account as described herein has remained consistent.
Most of her memories, conveyed in her book, she obtained outside of the therapy setting on the
Island of Kauai, while journaling on the beach, since she could not afford a therapist at that time. The
perceived safety of the location and the steady sound of the waves in the background provided her with
the ability to focus inward, allowing intense flashbacks to recur, including intense memory of her
physical sensations during those events (called body memories), all of which she was able to write down
in her journals. Sue's journals are amazingly free of mistakes, and that's no small feat since they were
written in indelible ink. One gets the impression that Sue simply 'downloaded' this material from her
inner 'multiple personalities,' who were desperately wanting to get this information out.
Offering up these truths in these post-False Memory "Spindrome" Foundation days takes courage.
The well-funded "foundation," composed of alleged pedophiles and spy-chiatrists, my term for
professionals who worked for the CIA in mind control projects over a period of approximately fifty years,
has led an effective fight in the courts to establish the fact that a person can easily be made to believe
things which are not true. When I asked many of those who would later sit on the FMSF Board, if a
9
person could be made to do something against their will and without their knowledge, they denied that
it was possible in the mid-seventies.
They have not yet turned their earlier stance completely around. Nor have they taken the next
step to offer proof that a person can be made to do something against their will and without their
knowledge, but they have gone far enough with their argument that "justice is no longer served by
'eyewitness' accounts." Responding to FMSF lawsuits, the State of California, I'm told, has made new
laws, which would disqualify the testimony of anyone who has ever confessed to having been hypnotized.
Most lawyers and judges don't understand dissociative disorders because most "mental health
professionals" don't understand them, and/or haven't bothered to educate the judicial branch of
government. To begin to understand the full range of dissociative disorders, from Post-traumatic Stress
Disorder to Bipolar Disorder to the former Multiple Personality Disorder (now called Dissociative
Identity Disorder), one must confront the National Security State and its military/industrial complex,
which created the killers who all too often came home from their service to their country to beat and
sexually abuse their wives and children.
One gets the impression today that the majority of both "mental health experts" and judges
believe that Multiple Personality Disorder can easily be faked during expert examinations. However,
most professionals with experience treating DID will tell you that it is almost impossible to fake an
autonomic response, the kind of response that is used to assess the reality of a dissociated state. Faking
an autonomic response would be about as easy as deliberately dilating or contracting your pupils without
any change of light stimulus.
On one case the Freedom of Thought Foundation sent me to investigate, the case of Robert Joe
Moody, an alleged serial killer with a Top Secret security clearance in the USMC, I brought one of the
leading experts in the treatment of DID into the prison conference room. Within minutes this doctor
had the killer manifesting four different personalities. When he first switched into the killer personality
the room filled with heat. The doctor told me it was not unusual for a whole variety of physical changes
to occur when a multiple switched. The room quickly getting hot from the temperature change of
Moody's body when he switched from one personality to the other is a good example of the sort of
autonomic response I'm talking about. I'd like to see even the best-trained actor do that on cue!
After the interview with Moody, as we were leaving the prison, the doctor said to me, "Well, what
do you want to do? Integrate these personalities, or just let the little nine-year-old personality take the
punishment (death by lethal injection) for all the others, just like he has always been doing."
In the only study of death row inmates in America, roughly 14% tested as being undiagnosed cases
of DID. Only a few prisons were used in this study. It focused only on convicted murderers and did not
investigate violent criminals who were convicted of assault or crimes less than murder. Other noncapital
offenders were omitted. This study clearly showed the ignorance, or prejudice, of the American
judicial system, one in which the diagnosis "malingering" is given to people suffering from DID.
Malingering is a psychiatric term that means the subject is faking an illness. The poorly trained
psychologists and psychiatrists working as court appointed "expert witnesses" don't know how to test
nor diagnose Dissociative Disorders.
The most tragic moment of Moody's story, for most, is when they view the police videotape of the
accused killer being read the Miranda Warnings. Here, clearly, is the nine-year-old personality, "Bobby,"
picking at a scab on his hand, speaking in a halting voice, not understanding who he was, due to
Amnestic Fugue, nor what the words in the Miranda Warnings meant. It was the only time the accused
was read his rights. And as you might expect, Bobby wasn't the killer, nor was he even "present" at the
10
scene of the crime. The killer personality was named XE and was, by all present indications, created
during Moody's service in the Marine Corps.
"Mental health professionals" generally overlook the possibility of deliberate programming. Or
maybe that's part of the conspiracy against freedom of thought. Many shrinks are themselves unwitting
accomplices in this conspiracy. Professional expressions of denial about the access and deliberate
programming of dissociated children by agents of National Security States is about as comforting as if
they'd told you that the conclusions of the Warren Commission Report were accurate and correct. Even
certain members of The International Society for the Study of Dissociative Disorders has put DID in a
separate legal category, so that, people expressing multiple personalities cannot be found "not guilty by
reason of insanity."
Dr. Colin Ross, one of the leading experts on Dissociative Disorders, expressed the opinion that
DID may be the cause of most of the serious problems of our society, such as gangsterism, drive-by
shootings, schoolyard assassinations, random acts of terrorism and all the rest of the trauma America
has been experiencing over the past few years--an idea not yet examined by criminologists, prison
experts, and others who would supposedly protect and serve.
To understand dissociation is to understand the paradigm shift in our culture--from an industrial
culture to an information culture. To understand it is to look into the heart of the Dissociated States of
America and the Dissociated States of Europe and the Orient.
The seeds of dissociation have been sown throughout history, from our earliest recorded days
until the present. You can find evidence of it in the first terrors of the cavemen, in the shamanic
practices of most primitive cultures, to the present co-option of severely dissociated people found among
the ranks of modem military recruits. A cross section of our society finds its way into military service,
and a representational number of them suffer from Dissociative Disorders. These form a fertile pool for
recruitment of programmed personnel.
After you've met a few of them, you realize they have one thing is common--they are highly
suggestible. Thus it is easy to capitalize on the trauma implanted in their child's mind by daddy, uncle, a
neighbor or whomever. Once dissociation shows up in the military "entrance tests," they are sorted out
for programming. From their ranks are created autonomic assassins, amnestic couriers, and Mata Hari
sexpionage agents who've given their involuntary all with no consent form requested.
Who would do such a thing you ask? Read on. Learn about the cryptocracy that has been
gradually amassing its power over the human mind since the days when the swastika was forced
underground, and its armbands torn from the sleeves, but its legacy was not removed from the hearts
and minds of those welcomed to America under Project Paperclip, when Nazi war criminals, posing as
scientists, were flown from the front, hidden among those who had spilled their blood fighting fascism.
The value of programming to the cryptocrats is understood when you realize its usefulness in
harnessing a slave labor force and covering up crimes. More than one forensic psychiatrist has told me
that our criminal justice systems are not prepared to deal with these cases. And it's been that way for
quite some time. The litigious actions of the False Memory "Spindrome" Foundation have done further
damage to justice by successfully obfuscating the realities of Dissociative Disorders and by blaming its
cause on the treatments of incompetent "mental health professionals."
Whether a victim of DID, trained and conditioned and honed for govemment use, claims they
have been raised in a Satanic Cult, or a Secret Society, or been abducted by aliens matters not at all. For
eons of time, throughout the entire history of mankind (as far as we know) war and trauma have created
this evil, which is multi-generational, passed down the family tree from parent to child in an unbroken
chain. The flavor of the torture matters not--it is none the less torture. The style of programming
11
matters not--it is none the less programming. Usually the women are tumed into slaves of one kind or
another; the men are turned into killers or handlers. Regardless of the content of their story, the
professional can only take it at face value, support the client, use it as a metaphor if nothing else, and try
one technique after another until they get the results they are seeking, reintegration and eventual
recovery.
After spending the past five years studying programmed killers, it is refreshing to turn once again
to Sue Ford's case. Most of us cannot keep from wincing at her vivid descriptions in certain parts.
Others similarly victimized have experienced tortures so terrible (literally unspeakable) that they might
think Sue had a "privileged" time of it. Though, Sue was used at a very "high level" in such ways that
required her physical preservation. Many survivors, it would appear, are generally too incapacitated to
write their own story and too destitute or crippled to achieve sufficient recovery.
Sue's story, truly a spy-chiatrist's "nightmare come true," is like a fascinating, multifaceted
gemstone washed up on a white, sandy Hawaiian beach after having battled typhoons, rip tides and the
treacherous forces of man and nature. It is the story of a survivor who truly has emerged as a 'Victor'
against all odds.
We must salute Sue. She has preceded the therapeutic community's understanding of
dissociation and reintegration in the context of mind control. She's been a teacher as well as a patient,
and has inspired many of those who are leading the way toward real healing, not just a drugging of
symptoms as is too commonly found to be the "mental health" cure for MPD/DID. Through her valiant
recovery from trauma-based mind control, Sue has paved the way for other survivors to follow.
Let's join her in shining the light on the path for those survivors who are ready, willing and able to
stand and be counted. Their liberation will be ours--all of us!
To your own Free Thinking!
W.H. Bowart Director Freedom of Thought Foundation
12
Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
Historical Overview: Mind Control in the Modern Context
'Mind control' is a rather vague and nebulous term used to label methods of extreme coercion that
result in an individual's involuntary, robotic compliance. In order for the reader to fully understand the
account presented in this book, it is essential to gain some background knowledge about the history of
mind control.
There was a Special Report (article) that appeared in the US. News & World Report (January 24,
1994) entitled "The Cold War Experiments," which provides one with an introductory and conventionally
accepted perspective on the subject of mind control.
The article begins, stating the widely held view that "...U.S. government scientists, spurred on by
reports that American prisoners of war were being brainwashed in North Korea, were proposing an
urgent, top-secret research program on behavior modification. Drugs, hypnosis, electroshock, lobotomy
-- all were to be studied as part of a vast U.S. effort to close the mind-control gap."
At the time this article appeared, congressional inquiries were being held to examine new
disclosures about government experiments that had intentionally exposed American citizens to
radiation. The article continues, "But the radiation experiments are only one facet of a vast cold war
research program that used thousands of Americans as guinea pigs." And, "From the end of World War
II well into the 1970's, the Atomic Energy Commission, the Defense Department, the military services,
the CIA and other agencies used prisoners, drug addicts, mental patients, college students, soldiers, even
bar patrons, in a vast range of government-run experiments to test the effects of everything from
radiation, LSD and nerve gas to intense electric shocks and prolonged "sensory deprivation." Note the
portrayal of this activity as a "vast" governmental effort.
The article also illustrates the recent congressional concern: "'It's not just radiation we're talking
about,' says Democratic Sen. John Glenn of Ohio, a former Marine and astronaut who is holding
hearings on the subject this week. 'Any place government experimenting caused a problem we should
make every effort to notify the people and follow up. We ought to set up some sort of review and
compensation for people who were really hurt'." Years later, on January 22, 1997, Sen. Glenn introduced
before Congress the Human Research Subject Protections Act of 1997. It was referred to the Senate
Committee on Labor and Human Resources, chaired by Sen. Arlen Spector (author of the Warren
Commission's 'single bullet theory'), and never made it out. With the many bare-brained pieces of
legislation that make it to the Senate floor, you would think that one which attempts to safeguard human
subjects of experimentation would be a 'no-brainer,' but apparently it is not with this Congress.
Parallel with this activity, President Clinton published an Administrative Order known as
Memorandum of March 27, 1997 entitled "Strengthened Protections for Human Subjects of Classified
Research" (see appendix), which attempted to implement the recommendations of the Advisory
Committee on Human Radiation Experiments, which he established in January 1994. To date, these
well-intended efforts have had little or no impact.
Last year (April 15, 1998), Harlan Girard, on behalf of the International Committee for the
Convention Against Offensive Microwave Weapons, brought suit against the Federal government for its
non-compliance in carrying out President Clinton's Administrative Order. This case is still in the process
of working its way through the Federal courts. The U.S. News & World Report article concludes with the
following paragraph:
13
"Another former CIA official, Sidney Gottlieb, who directed the MKULTRA behavior-control
program almost from its inception, refused to discuss his work when US. News reporter visited him last
week at his home. He said the CIA was only trying to encourage basic work in behavior science. But he
added that after his retirement in 1973, he went back to school, practiced for 19 years as a speech
pathologist and now works with AIDS and cancer patients at a hospice. He said he has devoted the years
since he left the CIA 'trying to get on the side of the angels instead of the devils'."
Gottlieb's praiseworthy activities since 1973 speak to the seriousness of what he had participated
in prior to that date, under Project MKULTRA. He was one individual who at least tried to do something
to 'save his soul,' which is more than one can say for the host of others who were similarly involved.
Gottlieb passed away earlier in 1999, just in time to miss all the 'fireworks.'
The following article, "Project Monarch: Nazi Mind Control" by Ron Patton, provides an excellent
historical overview on mind control in its many different aspects and is reprinted here almost in its
entirety. The article appeared in the trend-setting, alternative press magazine Paranoia: The Conspiracy
Reader in the Fall 1996 issue. This magazine, one of several 'iconoclasts,' has published a number of such
informative articles on related subjects and, to date, appears to be the leading source for news and
information about mind control.
Note: The actual name of a classified project known to many as 'Monarch' is yet to be officially
confirmed, therefore, the reader is advised to substitute the phrase "trauma-based mind control" for the
author's usage of the code name "MONARCH."
14
PROJECT MONARCH: NAZI MIND CONTROL by Ron Patton
Amidst the subtle cerebral circumvention of the gullible populace, through a multitude of
manipulated mediums, lies one of the most diabolical atrocities perpetrated upon a segment of the
human race: a form of systematic mind control which has permeated every aspect of society for almost
fifty years.
To objectively ascertain the following, one may need to re-examine preconceived ideologies
relating to the dualistic nature of mankind. Resolving the philosophical question of whether we are
inherently good or inherently evil is tantamount in shaping our perception of reality; specifically, the
spiritual variable within the equation of life.
This exposition is substantiated by declassified U.S. Government documents, individuals formerly
connected to the U.S. intelligence communities, historical researchers knowledgeable in mind control,
publications from mental health practitioners, and interviews taken from survivors unwittingly subjected
to a highly complex form of trauma-based mind control known as MONARCH programming.
A word of caution for survivors of intensively systematic mind control and/or some form of
ritualized abuse: There are numerous "triggers" in this article. It is therefore recommended not to read
it unless appropriate support systems are in place or if you have a thoroughly reintegrated personality.
A Brief History of Control
The Mystery Religions of ancient Egypt, Greece, India and Babylon helped lay the foundation for
occultism, meaning "hidden knowledge." One of the earliest writings giving reference to occultism is the
Egyptian Book of the Dead, a compilation of rituals explicitly describing methods of torture and
intimidation (to create trauma), the use of potions (drugs) and the casting of spells (hypnotism),
ultimately resulting in the total enslavement of the initiate.[1] These have been the main ingredients for
a part of occultism known as Satanism, throughout the ages.
During the 13th Century, the Roman Catholic Church increased and solidified its dominion
throughout Europe with the infamous Inquisition. Satanism survived this period of persecution, deeply
entrenching itself under the veil of various esoteric groups.
In 1776, a Bavarian Jesuit by the name of Adam Weishaupt was commissioned by the House of
Rothschild to centralize the power base of the Mystery Religions into what is commonly known as the
Illuminati, meaning "Enlightened Ones." This was an amalgamation of powerful occultic bloodlines,
elite secret societies and influential Masonic fraternities, with the desire to construct the framework for a
"New World Order." The outward goal of this Utopia was to bring forth universal happiness to the
human race. However, their underlying intention was to gradually increase control over the masses,
thus becoming masters of the planet.
The Anglo Alliance
By the 19th century, Great Britain and Germany were recognized as the primary geographic areas
of Illuminati control. It then should be of little surprise to know the first work in Behavioral Science
research was established in England in 1882, while much of the early medical and psychiatric techniques
involved in mind control were pioneered at the Kaiser Wilhelm Institute in Germany.
15
The Tavistock Institute of Human Relations was set up in London in 1921 to study the "breaking
point" of humans. Kurt Lewin, a German psychologist, became the director of the Tavistock Institute in
1932, about the same time Nazi Germany was increasing its research into neuropsychology,
parapsychology and multi-generational occultism. Interestingly, a progressive exchange of scientific
ideas was taking place between England and Germany, most notably in the field of eugenics: the
movement devoted to "improving" the human species through the control of hereditary factors in
mating. The nefariously enigmatic union between the two countries was bonded, partly through the
Order of the Golden Dawn, a secret society, which consisted of many high ranking officials in the Nazi
party and British aristocracy. Top SS Nazi officer, Heinrich Himmler, was in charge of a scientific project
called Lebensborn, which included selective breeding and adoption of children, a peculiarly large
number of twins among them.[2] The purpose of the program was to create a super-race (Aryans) who
would have total allegiance to the cause of the Third Reich (New Order). Much of the preliminary
experimentation concerning genetic engineering and behavior modification was conducted by Dr. Josef
Mengele at Aushwitz, where he coldly analyzed the effects of trauma-bonding, eye-coloring and
"twinning" upon his victims.
Besides the insidious surgical experimentation performed at the concentration camp, some of the
children were subjected to massive amounts of electroshock. Sadly, many of them did not survive the
brutality. Concurrently, "brain-washing" was carried out on inmates at Dachau, who were placed under
hypnosis and given the hallucinogenic drug mescaline. During the war, parallel behavioral research was
led by Dr. George Estabrooks of Colgate University. His involvement with the Army, CID, FBI and other
agencies remains shrouded in secrecy. However, Estabrooks would occasionally "slip" and discuss his
work involving the creation of hypno-programmed couriers and hypnotically-induced split
personalities.[3]
After WWII, the U.S. Department of Defense secretly imported many of the top German Nazi and
Italian Fascist scientists and spies into the United States via South America and the Vatican. The code
name for this operation was Project PAPERCLIP.[4] One of the more prominent finds for the U.S. was
German General Reinhard Gehlen, Hitler's Chief of Intelligence against Russia. Upon arriving in
Washington, DC in 1945, Gehlen met extensively with President Truman, General William "Wild Bill"
Donovan, Director of the Office of Strategic Services (OSS) and Allen Dulles, who would later become the
stalwart head of the CIA. The objective of their brainstorming sessions was to reorganize the nominal
American intelligence operation, transforming it into a highly efficient covert organization. The
culmination of their efforts produced the Central Intelligence Group in 1946, renamed the Central
Intelligence Agency (CIA) in 1947.
Reinhard Gehlen also had profound influence in helping to create the National Security Council,
from which the National Security Act of 1947 was derived. This particular piece of legislation was
implemented to protect an unconscionable number of illegal government activities, including
clandestine mind control programs.
Evolution of Project MKULTRA
With the CIA and National Security Council firmly established, the first in a series of covert
brainwashing programs was initiated by the Navy in the fall of 1947. Project CHATTER was developed in
response to the Soviet's "successes" through the use of "truth drugs." This rationale, however, was
simply a cover story if the program were to be exposed. The research focused on the identification and
testing of such drugs for use in interrogations and the recruitment of agents.[5] The project was officially
terminated in 1953.
The CIA decided to expand their efforts in the area of behavior modification, with the advent of
Project BLUEBIRD, approved by Director Allen Dulles in 1950. Its objectives were to: (1) discover a
means of conditioning personnel to prevent unauthorized extraction of information from them by known
16
means, (2) investigate the possibility of control of an individual by application of special interrogation
techniques, (3) investigate memory enhancement and (4) establish defensive means for preventing
hostile control of agency personnel. In August 1951, Project BLUEBIRD was renamed Project
ARTICHOKE, which evaluated offensive uses of interrogation techniques, including hypnosis and drugs.
The program ceased in 1956. Three years prior to the halt of Project ARTICHOKE, Project MKULTRA
came into existence on April 13, 1953 along the lines proposed by Richard Helms, Deputy Director of
Central Intelligence CDCI with the rationale of establishing a "special funding mechanism of extreme
sensitivity."[6]
The hypothetical etymology of "MK" may possibly stand for "Mind Kontrolle." The obvious
postwar translation of the German word, "Kontrolle" into English is "control."[7] A host of German
doctors, procured from the Nazi talent pool, were an invaluable asset toward the development of
MKULTRA. The correlation between the concentration camp experiments and the numerous subprojects
of MKULTRA are clearly evident. The various avenues used to control human behavior under
MKULTRA included radiation, electroshock, psychology, psychiatry, sociology, anthropology,
graphology, harassment substances and paramilitary devices and materials (LSD being the most widely
dispensed "material"). A special procedure, designated MKDELTA, was established to govern the use of
MKULTRA abroad. MKULTRA / MKDELTA materials were used for harassment, discrediting or
disabling purposes.[8]
Of the 149 subprojects under the umbrella of MKULTRA having been identified, Project
MONARCH officially began by the U.S. Army in the early 1960's (although unofficially implemented
much earlier) appears to be the most prominent and is still classified as TOP SECRET for "National
Security" reasons.[9] MONARCH may have culminated from MKSEARCH subprojects, such as
operation SPELLBINDER, which was set up to create "sleeper" assassins (i.e. "Manchurian Candidates")
who could be activated upon receiving a key word or phrase while in a post-hypnotic trance. Operation
OFTEN, a study which attempted to harness the power of occultic forces, was possibly one of several
cover programs to hide the insidious reality of Project MONARCH.
Definition and Description
The name MONARCH is not necessarily defined within the context of royal nobility, but rather
refers to the Monarch butterfly. When a person is undergoing trauma induced by electroshock, a feeling
of light-headedness is evidenced; as if one is floating or fluttering like a butterfly. There is also a
symbolic representation pertaining to the transformation or metamorphosis of this beautiful insect:
from a caterpillar to a cocoon (dormancy; inactivity), to a butterfly (new creation) which will return to its
point of origin. Such is the migratory pattern that makes this species unique.
Occultic symbolism may give additional insight into the true meaning. Psyche is the word for both
"soul" and "butterfly," coming from the belief that human souls become butterflies while searching for a
new reincarnation.[10]
Some ancient mystical groups, such as the Gnostics, saw the butterfly as a symbol of corrupt flesh.
The "Angel of Death" (remember Mengele?) in Gnostic art works was portrayed crushing the
butterfly.[11] A marionette is a puppet that is attached to strings and is controlled by the puppet master,
hence MONARCH programming is also referred to as the "Marionette Syndrome." "Imperial
Conditioning" is another term used, while some mental health therapists know it as "Conditioned
Stimulus-Response Sequences."
Project MONARCH could be best described as a form of trauma-structured dissociation and
occultic integration in order to compartmentalize the mind into multiple personalities within a
systematic framework. During the process, a Satanic ritual, usually including Cabalistic mysticism, is
17
performed with the purpose of attaching a particular demon or group of demons to the corresponding
alter(s). Of course, most [people] would view this as simply a means to enhance trauma within the
victim negating irrational belief that demonic possession actually occurs.
Alters and Triggers
Another way of examining this convoluted victimization of body and soul is by looking at it as a
complex computer program: A file (alter) is created through trauma, repetition and reinforcement. In
order to activate (trigger) the file, a specific access code or password (cue or command) is required. The
victim survivor is called a "slave" by the programmer/handler, who in turn is perceived as "master" or
"god." About 75% are female, since they possess a higher tolerance for pain and tend to dissociate easier
than males. Subjects are used mainly for covert operations, prostitution and pornography; involvement
in the entertainment industry is notable.
A former military officer connected to the DIA told this writer, "In the 'big picture' these people
[MONARCH victims] are in all walks of life, from the bum on the street to the white-collar guy." In
corroboration, a retired CIA agent vaguely discussed the use of such personnel to be used as "plants" or
"chameleons" for the purpose of infiltrating a designated group, gathering information and/or injecting
an ulterior agenda.
There are an inordinate amount of alters in the victim/survivor, with numerous back-up
programs, mirrors and shadows. A division of light-side (good) and dark-side (bad) alters are
interwoven in the mind and rotate on an axis. One of the main internal structures, (of which there are
many) within the system is shaped like a double-helix, consisting of seven levels. Each system has an
internal programmer who oversees the "gatekeepers" (demons?) who grant or deny entry into the
different rooms. A few of the internal images predominately seen by victims/survivors are trees, the
Cabalistic "Tree of Life," with adjoining root systems, infinity loops, ancient symbols and letters, spider
webs, mirrors or glass shattering, masks, castles, mazes, demons/monsters/aliens, sea shells, butterflies,
snakes, ribbons, bows, flowers, hour glasses, clocks, robots, chain-of-command diagrams and/or
schematics of computer circuitry boards.
Bloodlines and Twinning
A majority of the victims/survivors come from multi-generational Satanic families (bloodlines)
and are ostensibly programmed "to fulfill their destiny as the chosen ones or chosen generations" (a term
coined by Mengele at Auschwitz). Some are adopted out to families of similar origin. Others used in this
neurological nightmare are deemed as the "expendable ones" (non-bloodliners), usually coming from
orphanages, foster-care homes, or incestuous families with a long history of pedophilia. There also
appears to be a pattern of family members affiliated with government or military intelligence agencies.
Many of the abused come from families who use Catholicism, Mormonism, or charismatic
Christianity as a "front" for their abominable activities (though members of other religious groups are
also involved.) Victims/survivors generally respond more readily to a rigid religious (dogmatic,
legalistic) hierarchical structure because it parallels their base programming. Authority usually goes
unchallenged, as their will has been usurped through subjective and command-oriented conditioning.
Physical identification characteristics on victims/survivors often include multiple electrical prod
scars and/or resultant moles on their skin. A few may have had various parts of their bodies mutilated
by knives, branding irons, or needles. Butterfly or occult tattoos are also common. Generally,
bloodliners are less likely to have the subsequent markings, as their skin is to "remain pure and
unblemished."
18
The ultimate purpose of the sophisticated manipulation of these individuals may sound
unrealistic, depending upon our interpretive understanding of the physical and spiritual realms. The
deepest and darkest alters within bloodliners are purported to be dormant until the "AntiChrist" is
revealed. These "New World Order" alters supposedly contain call-back orders and instructions to train
and/or initiate a large influx of people (possibly clones or "soulless ones"). thereby stimulating social
control programs into the new millennium.
Non-biological "twinning" is yet another bizarre feature observed within MONARCH
programming. For instance, two young non-related children would be ceremoniously initiated in a
magical "soul-bonding" ritual so they might be "inseparably paired for eternity" (possibly another
Mengele connection?). They essentially share two halves of the programmed information, making them
interdependent upon one another. Paranormal phenomenon such as astral projection, telepathy, ESP,
etc. appear to be more pronounced between those who have undergone this process.
Levels of MONARCH Programming[12]
ALPHA. Regarded as "general" or regular programming within the base control personality;
characterized by extremely pronounced memory retention, along with substantially increased physical
strength and visual acuity. Alpha programming is accomplished through deliberately subdividing the
victim's personality which, in essence, causes a left brain - right brain division; allowing for a
programmed union of L and R through neuron pathway stimulation.
BETA. Referred to as "sexual" programming. This programming eliminates all learned moral
convictions and stimulates the primitive sexual instincts, devoid of inhibitions. "Cat" alters may come
out at this level.
DELTA. This is known as "killer" programming, originally developed for training special agents or elite
soldiers (i.e. Delta Force, First Earth Battalion, Mossad, etc.) in covert operations. Optimal adrenal
output and controlled aggression is evident. Subjects are devoid of fear; very systematic in carrying out
their assignment. Self-destruct or suicide instructions are layered in at this level.
THETA. Considered to be "psychic" programming. Bloodliners (those coming from multigenerational
Satanic families) were determined to exhibit a greater propensity for having telepathic abilities than did
non-bloodliners. Due to its evident limitations, however, various forms of electronic mind control
systems were developed and introduced, namely, biomedical human telemetry devices (brain implants),
directed-energy lasers using microwaves and/or electromagnetics. It is reported these are used in
conjunction with highly-advanced computers and sophisticated satellite tracking systems.
OMEGA. A "self-destruct" form of programming, also known as "Code Green." The corresponding
behaviors include suicidal tendencies and/or self-mutilation. This program is generally activated when
the victim/survivor begins therapy or interrogation and too much memory is being recovered.
GAMMA. Another form of system protection is through "deception" programming, which elicits
misinformation and misdirection. This level is intertwined with demonology and tends to regenerate
itself at a later time if inappropriately deactivated.
Methods and Components
19
The initial process begins with creating dissociation within the subject, usually occurring from
the time of birth to about six years. This is primarily achieved through the use of electroshock (ECT) and
is at times performed even when the child is in the mother's womb. Due to the severe trauma induced
through ECT, sexual abuse and other methods, the mind splits off into alternate personalities from the
core. Formerly referred to as Multiple Personality Disorder, it is presently recognized as Dissociative
Identity Disorder and is the basis for MONARCH programming. Further conditioning of the victim's
mind is enhanced through hypnotism, double-bind coercion, pleasure-pain reversals, food, water, sleep
and sensory deprivation, along with various drugs which alter certain cerebral functions.
The next stage is to embed and compress detailed commands or messages within the specified
alter. This is achieved through the use of hi-tech headsets, in conjunction with computer-driven
generators which emit inaudible sound waves or harmonics that affect the RNA covering of neuron
pathways to the subconscious and unconscious mind. "Virtual Reality" optical devices are sometimes
used simultaneously with the harmonic generators projecting pulsating colored lights, subliminals and
split-screen visuals. High voltage electroshock is then used for memory dissolution.
Programming is updated periodically and reinforced through visual, auditory and written
mediums. Some of the first programming themes included the Wizard of Oz and Alice and Wonderland,
both heavily saturated with occultic symbolism. Many of the recent Disney movies and cartoons are
used in a two-fold manner: desensitizing the majority of the population, using subliminals and neurolinguistic
programming, and deliberately constructing specific triggers and keys for base programming of
highly-impressionable MONARCH children.
[paragraphs omitted in original]
Music plays an instrumental role in programming, through combinations of variable tones,
rhythms and words. Frightmeister Stephen King's numerous novels and subsequent movies, are
purported by credible sources to be used for such villainous purposes. One of his latest books, Insomnia,
features a picture of King with the trigger phrase "WE NEVER SLEEP," (indicative of someone with
MPD/ DID) below an all-seeing eye.
[paragraphs omitted in original]
[Recent informative mind control related movies: Total Recall; Brainstorm; Long Kiss Goodnight;
Johnny Mnemonic; Conspiracy Theory; Mindfield; 12 Monkeys; Barbwire; Fortress; Trancers III;
Jacob's Ladder; Videodrome; Circuitry Man; Lawnmower Man; Color of Night; Blade; Enemy of the
State; Adventures of Baron Von Munchhausen; and Ninth Configuration. Older movies include: Altered
States; Slepford Wives; and the classic Manchurian Candidate.]
Programmers and Places
It's difficult to figure out who the original programmer of this satanic project was, due to the
substantial amount of disinformation and cross-contamination propagated by the "powers that be." The
two that went by the color-coded name of Dr. Green are a Jewish doctor named Dr. Gruenbaum, who
supposedly collaborated with the Nazis during WWII, and Dr. Josef Mengele, whose trademark of coldblooded
and calculating brutality has not only scarred the souls of survivors from Aushwitz, but also a
countless number of victims throughout the world. Mengele's direct involvement at the infamous
Aushwitz concentration camp was suspiciously downplayed during the Nuremberg Trials, and
consequently no intensified effort by the U.S. and its allies was directed toward his capture.[13]
As a means to confuse serious investigators as to his whereabouts, U.S. officials would report
Mengele being a non-threatening recluse in Paraguay or Brazil, or that he was simply dead (the "Angel of
20
Death" miraculously must have come back to life at least five different times). His unprecedented
research, at the expense of thousands of lives, undoubtedly was a significant bonus to U.S. interests.
Besides using the pseudonym of Dr. Green, survivors knew him as Vaterchen (daddy), Schoner Josef
(beautiful Joseph), David and Fairchild. A gracefully handsome man of slight stature, Mengele would
disarm people with his gentle demeanor, while at other times, he would explode into violent rages.[14]
Other characteristics remembered by survivors were the cadence of his shiny black boots as he
paced back and forth and his "I-love-you/I-love-you-not" daisy game. When he pulled off the last daisy
petal, he would maliciously torture and kill a small child in front of the other child he was programming.
Distraught survivors also recalled being thrown naked into cages with monkeys, who were trained to
viciously abuse them. Evidently, Mengele enjoyed reducing people to the level of animals. He also
would purposely restrain his victims from crying, screaming, or showing any excessive emotion.
Dr. D. Ewen Cameron, also known as Dr. White, was the former head of the Canadian, American
and World Psychiatric Associations. Because of Cameron's extensive experience and credentials, the
CIA's Allen Dulles funneled millions of dollars through front organizations like the Society for the
Investigation of Human Ecology, which Cameron ruthlessly presided over. Experimentations were
conducted at several locations in Montreal, mostly at McGill University, St. Mary's Hospital and Allan
Memorial Institute.
Besides the conventional methods of psychiatric tyranny, such as electroshock, drug injections
and lobotomies, Cameron conceived the technique of "psychic driving," wherein unsuspecting patients
were kept in a drug-induced coma for several weeks and administered a regimen of electroshocks, while
electronic helmets were strapped to their heads and repetitive auditory messages were transmitted at
variable speeds.[15] Many of those exploited were abused children who had been run through the
Roman Catholic orphanage system.
Not surprisingly, Dr. Cameron has been conveniently left out of most psychiatric journals. This
may have been, in fact, largely due to Project MKULTRA being publicly exposed in 1970, through
lawsuits filed by Canadian survivors and their families. The CIA and Canadian government settled out of
court so as not to be required to officially admit to any wrongdoing.
A former U.S. Army Lt. Col. in the DIA's Psychological Warfare Division, Michael Aquino, is the
latest in a line of alleged government-sponsored sadists. Aquino, an eccentric genius, founded the
Temple of Set, an offshoot of Anton LaVey's Church of Satan. His obsession with Nazi pagan rituals and
his hypnotic manipulation of people made him an ideal candidate for the position of "Master
Programmer." Aquino was connected with the Presidio Army Base daycare scandal, in which he was
accused of child molestation. Much to the dismay of the young victims' parents, all charges were
dismissed. [sentence omitted]
Heinrich Mueller was another important programmer who went under the code names "Dr. Blue"
or "Gog." He apparently has two sons who have carried on the trade. The original "Dr. Black" was
apparently Leo Wheeler, the nephew of deceased General Earle G. Wheeler, who was the commander of
the Joint Chiefs of Staff during the Vietnam War. Wheeler's protege, E. Hummel, is active in the
Northwest, along with W. Bowers (from the Rothschild-bloodline).
Other alleged master mind manipulators, past and present, are: Dr. Sydney Gottlieb, Lt. Col. John
Alexander, Richard Dabney Anderson (USN), Dr. James Monroe, Dr. John Lilly, Lt. Comdr. Thomas
Narut, Dr. William Jennings Bryan, Dr. Bernard L. Diamond, Dr. Martin Orne, Dr. Louis J. West, Dr.
Robert J. Lifton, Dr. Harris Isbel and Col. Wilson Green.
21
In order to keep MKULTRA from being easily detected, the CIA segmented its subprojects into
specialized fields of research and development at universities, prisons, private laboratories and hospitals.
Of course, they were rewarded generously with government grants and miscellaneous funding. The
names and locations of some of the major institutions involved in MONARCH programming
experimentation were/are: Cornell, Duke, Princeton, UCLA, University of Rochester, MIT, Georgetown
University Hospital, Maimonides Medical Center, St Elizabeth's Hospital (Washington, D.C.), Bell
Laboratories, Stanford Research Institute, Westinghouse Friendship Laboratories, General Electric,
ARCO and Manking Research Unlimited.
The "final product" was/is usually created on military installations and bases, where maximum
security is required. Referred to as (re) programming centers or near-death trauma centers, the most
heavily identified are: China Lake Naval Weapons Center, The Presidio, Ft. Dietrick, Ft. Campbell, Ft.
Lewis, Ft. Hood, Redstone Arsenal, Offutt AFB, Patrick AFB, McClellan AFB, MacGill AFB, Kirkland
AFB, Nellis AFB, Homestead AFB, Grissom AFB, Maxwell AFB and Tinker AFB. Other places recognized
as major programming sites are Langley Research Center, Los Alamos National Laboratories, Tavistock
Institute and areas in or by Mt. Shasta, CA, Lampe, MO and Las Vegas, NV.
Notable Names
One of the first documented cases of a MONARCH secret agent, was that of the voluptuous 1940's
model, Candy Jones. The book, The Control of Candy Jones, (Playboy Press) portrays her 12 years of
intrigue and suspense as a spy for the CIA. Jones, whose birthname is Jessica Wilcox, apparently fit the
physiological profile as to be one of the initial experiments or human guinea pigs under the government's
"scientific" project, MKULTRA.
The most publicized case of MONARCH monomania has surfaced through the book TRANCE Formation
of America: The True Life Story of a CIA Slave by Cathy O'Brien. On the back cover it emphatically
states, "Cathy O'Brien is the only vocal and recovered survivor of the Central Intelligence Agency's Mk-
Ultra Project Monarch mind control operation." This documented autobiography contains compelling
accounts of O'Brien's years of unrelenting incest and eventual introduction into Project MONARCH by
her perverted father. Along with co-author Mark Phillips, her rescuer and deprogrammer, Cathy covers
an almost unbelievable array of conspiratorial crime: forced prostitution (white slavery) with those in the
upper echelons of world politics, covert assignments as a "drug mule" and courier, and the countrywestern
music industry's relationship with illegal CIA activities.
Paul Bonaci, a courageous survivor who endured almost two decades of degradation under Project
MONARCH, has disclosed strong corroborating evidence of widescale crimes and corruption from the
municipal/state level all the way up to the White House.[17] He has testified about sexually-abused
males selected from Boy's Town in Nebraska and taken to nearby Offutt AFB, where he says they were
subjected to intense MONARCH programming, directed mainly by Commander Bill Plemmons and
former Lt. Col. Michael Aquino.[18] After thoroughly tormenting the young boys into mindless oblivion,
they were used (along with girls) for pornography and prostitution with several of the nation's political
and economic power-brokers. Bonaci recalled being transported from the Air Force base via cargo
planes to McClelland AFB in California. Along with other unfortunate adolescents and teenagers, he was
driven to the elite retreat, Bohemian Grove. The perpetrators took full advantage of these innocent
victims, committing unthinkable perversions in order to satisfy their deviant lusts. Some victims were
apparently murdered, further traumatizing already terrified and broken children. [The following
information is provided by Brice Taylor, at the time of this writing in 1999: Uri Dowbenko wrote an
article for Media Bypass magazine (June 1999) where he reports that justice was finally served when a
U.S. District Court recently awarded a $1 million settlement to Bonacci, after years of legal aid from his
attorney John DeCamp]
22
An insatiable actress of marginal talent (now deceased), a morally-corrupt TV evangelist, a heralded
former Green Beret officer and a popular country-western singer are a few others likely having
succumbed to MONARCH madness. Lee Harvey Oswald, Sirhan-Sirhan, Charlie Manson, John
Hinckley, Jr., Mark Chapman, David Koresh, Tim McVeigh and John Salvi are some notable names of
infamy, strongly suspected of being pawns who were spawned by MKULTRA.
Deprogrammers and Exposers
Dr. Corydon Hammond, a Psychologist from the University of Utah, delivered a stunning lecture
entitled "Hypnosis in MPD: Ritual Abuse" at the Fourth Annual Eastern Regional Conference on Abuse
and Multiple Personality, June 25, 1992 in Alexandria, Virginia. He essentially confirmed the suspicions
of the attentive crowd of mental health professionals, wherein a certain percentage of their clients had
undergone mind control programming in an intensively systematic manner. Hammond alluded to the
Nazi connection, military and CIA mind control research, Greek letter and color programming and
specifically mentioned the "Monarch Project" in relation to a form of [operant] conditioning.
Shortly after his groundbreaking speech, he received death threats. Not wanting to jeopardize the
safety of his family, Dr. Hammond stopped disseminating any follow-up information, until recently.
[paragraph omitted in original]
New Orleans therapist Valerie Wolf introduced two of her patients before the President's
Committee on Human Radiation Experiments on March 15, 1995 in Washington, DC. The astonishing
testimony made by these two brave women included accounts of German doctors, torture, drugs,
electroshock, hypnosis and rape, besides being exposed to an undetermined amount of radiation. Both
Wolf and her patients stated they recovered the memories of this abuse, without regression or hypnosis
techniques.[19] Wolf presently devotes much of her time to counseling such survivors. A former labor
attorney for Atlantic Richfield Co., David E. Rosenbaum, conducted a nine-year investigation (1983-
1992) concerning allegations of physical torture and coercive conditioning of numerous employees at an
ARCO plant in Monaca, PA.[20] His clients, Jerry L. Dotey and Ann White, were victims of apparent
radiation exposure; but as Mr. Rosenbaum probed deeper in the subsequent interview sessions, a
"Pandora's Box" was unveiled. His most astonishing conclusion was that Jerry Dotey and Ann White
were likely the offspring of Adolf Hitler, based in part on the uncanny resemblance from photos (facial
features, bone structure and size were taken into consideration). Rosenbaum also states, "They both
exhibit feelings and experiences that indicate they are twins." Dotey and White were allegedly subjected
to torture of many kinds while under drug-induced hypnosis, with each one undergoing at least three
training techniques by plant physicians.
Each victim was trained to enter into a hypnotic state upon the occurrence of specific stimuli,
usually involving a "cue" word or phrase and trained to "remember to forget" what transpired in the
hypnotic state. They were repeatedly subjected to identical stimulus-response sequences to produce
nearly automatic reactions to the particular status. MKULTRA veterans Dr. Bernard Diamond, Dr.
Martin Orne and Dr. Josef Mengele regularly visited the ARCO plant, according to Rosenbaum. The
special conditioning of Dotey and White was intended for the artificial creation of dual German
personalities. Rosenbaum, who is Jewish, has maintained a deep friendship with the two, despite the
seemingly precarious circumstances.
Other renowned therapists involved in deprogramming are Cynthia Byrtus, Pamela Monday,
Steve Ogilvie, Bennett Braun, Jerry Mungadze and Colin Ross. Some Christian counselors have been
able to eliminate parts of the programming with limited success. Journalists who have recently
expounded on the subject matter in exemplary fashion are Walter Bowart: Operation Mind Control, Jon
Rappoport: US. Government Mind-Control Experiments on Children, and Alex Constantine: Psychic
23
Dictatorship in the USA [and Virtual Government, plus author/researchers Alan Scheflin & Edward
Opton, Jr.: The Mind Manipulators, Harvey Weinstein, M.D.: Psychiatry and the CIA: Victims of Mind
Control, and Jim Keith: Mind Control, World Control and his latest book Mass Control: Engineering
Human Consciousness.]
Conclusion
The most incriminating statement to date made by a government official as to the possible
existence of Project MONARCH was extracted by Anton Chaitkin, a writer for the publication, The New
Federalist. When former CIA Director William Colby was asked directly, "What about monarch?" he
replied angrily and ambiguously, "We stopped that between the late 1960's and the early 1970's." Suffice
to say that society, in its apparent state of cognitive dissonance, is generally in denial of the
overwhelming evidence of this multifarious conspiracy. Numerous victims/survivors of Project
MONARCH are in desperate need of help. However, the great majority of people are too preoccupied
with themselves to show any genuine compassion toward these severely wounded individuals. Apathy
has taken over the minds of the masses, who choose to exist within the comforts of this world. Reality
has thus become obscured by relativism and selfishness.
Although there has been some progress in deprogramming and reintegrating therapies, a much
greater problem needs to be rectified. The Holy Bible addresses this problem as the fragmentation of the
soul (Ezekiel 13:20). A spiritual restoration is what is truly needed (Psalm 23:3) ... [sentence omitted]
[paragraph omitted in original]
Statistically, the road to recovery for these survivors of unimaginable depravity is a long and
tedious one, but God is the ultimate healer and only within his time, through His strength and by His
grace, can the captives be set free (Isaiah 61:1).
Endnotes
1. David L. Carrico, The Egyptian-Masonic-Satanic Connection, 1992.
2. Walter H. Bowart, Operation Mind Control, Flatland Editions, 1994, p. 216.
3. Martin Cannon, "Mind Control and the American Government," Prevailing Winds Research, 1994, p.
19.
4. Linda Hunt, Secret Agenda, St. Martin's Press, 1991.
5. Final Report of the Select Committee to Study Governmental Operations, U.S. Senate, April 1976, p.
387.
6. Ibid, p. 390.
7. John Marks, The Search For The Manchurian Candidate, Times Books, 1979, pp. 60-61.
8. Final Report of the Select Committee to Study Governmental Operations, U.S. Senate, April 1976, p.
391.
9. Mark Phillips and Cathy O'Brien, "Project Monarch," 1993.
10. Barbara G. Walker, The Woman's Dictionary of Symbols and Sacred Objects, Harper Collins, 1988.
11. Marshall Cavendish, Man, Myth and Magic, 1995.
12. Dr. Corydon Hammond, "The Greenbaum Speech," 1992; Mark Phillips and Cathy O'Brien, Project
Monarch Programming Definitions, 1993.
13. Gerald L. Posner, Mengele: The Complete Story, McGraw-Hill, 1986.
14. Lucette Matalon Lagnado, Dr. Josef Mengele and the Untold Story of the Twins of Auschwitz,
Morrow, 1991.
15. Gordon Thomas, Journey Into Madness: The Story of Secret CIA Mind Control and Medical Abuse,
Bantam Books, 1989.
16. [omitted]
24
17. John DeCamp, The Franklin Cover-Up, Child Abuse, Satanism and Murder In Nebraska, AWT
Inc., 1992.
18. Anton Chaitkin, "Franklin Witnesses Implicate FBI and U.S. Elites in Torture and Murder of
Children," The New Federalist, 1993.
19. Jon Rappoport, "CIA Experiments with Mind Control on Children," Perceptions Magazine,
September/October 1995, p. 56.
20. David E. Rosenbaum, Esq., First Draft: Overview of Investigation of the Group, 1983-1993.
25
Paranoia: The Conspiracy Reader
Fall 1996, Vol. 4, No. 3, Issue 14.
Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
Preview by Pamela J. Monday, Ph.D:
MANUFACTURING THE MIND CONTROLLED SLAVE
"If the child has survived the initial trials, and if they also prove intelligent but malleable, then if the
programming goes right, a very, very small infant that has been conditioned from day one is a powerful
weapon, because if you get a mind that early, as anyone knows, you can, 9 times out of 10, I would say,
determine the general behaviors of that child and the adult that they will become."
-- Gloria"-- A former patient, and mind control subject
My first experience with a patient who had been involved in mind control experimentation began
when "Gloria" initially called me, looking for a therapist who accepted Medicare insurance. She said she
had been sexually abused as a child and had been in therapy periodically for a number of years. I was
not a Medicare provider, but agreed to see her temporarily while she looked for someone else. On the
day of our first appointment, I walked into the waiting room to greet her and asked for "Gloria."
A woman looked up from a corner, and slowly, shyly, with head lowered and eyes looking up,
shuffled toward me. In a child-like voice, she held both of hands together tightly, hunched her shoulders
and said, with a sweet smile, "Gloria asked me to come; I'm Sally." She then twirled on her toes and
pointed to a plant on the table, saying again in a child-like voice, "That sure is pretty!" Puzzled, I smiled
and asked her to follow me to my office. During the course of that one hour, 4 different personalities,
with different ages and genders, presented themselves to me. We would be talking about some topic,
and suddenly, a switch would occur, and someone else's voice, mannerisms, and way of sitting and
speaking would present. It was as though 4 different people were in my room, although all were housed
in the same body! Although I had heard of Multiple Personality Disorder, or MPD, before, I had never
seen it, and had been told in graduate school that it was very rare. I remember thinking after Gloria left,
that if she were faking it (as patients are often accused of doing by clinicians who don't understand) she
would have to have the mimicking abilities of a Billy Crystal, and the acting abilities of a Meryl Streep, to
consistently stay in character for each of these personalities! For, before we were through, I had met 27
'inside people' (also referred to as alters) within Gloria, and learned about the names and roles of literally
hundreds more!
Since that introduction to MPD (now known as DID, or Dissociative Identity Disorder), I have
worked with dozens of patients with that diagnosis, and have consulted with other clinicians and their
patients so often, I have lost count. These patients have taught me so very much about the human mind,
and have challenged me to learn about topics I have never thought to explore. In my efforts to convince
myself, "surely what these people are saying cannot be true," I have researched and studied both
scientific and popular literature in a variety of fields, and have time and again, come to the conclusion
that what they are reporting could, indeed, be true. The historical background, technology,
methodology, motivation, funding, and opportunity are all in place. My task now is to help others
understand and believe.
I'd like to define some terms that you will hear when learning about people with "multiple
personalities." Dissociation is a key term that refers to the ability of the mind to "cut off" a part of itself
from conscious awareness. An everyday example of this ability, which we all have in varying degrees, is
the experience of driving down the freeway and missing the exit you take everyday because you are
thinking about something else. You "come to" an exit or two later and realize you have missed your exit,
26
even noticing that you "saw" the exit sign but it didn't "register" within you to take it! Part of your
mind was dissociated, or separated from, the real world around you while you focused on internal
thoughts. Another example is reading every word on a page in a book, then realizing you had not
comprehended a single word, because you were thinking of something else. All of us have had these
experiences.
This ability of the mind to detach from itself is a brilliant coping mechanism that the mind uses in
situations of extreme threat as a way to protect itself from the full awareness of a traumatic situation.
You may recall reading about Vietnam veterans, who had amnesia for their war experiences, but would
have difficulty coping with life. They would feel detached or estranged from others; they would have
difficulty feeling any kind of feelings, except for outbursts of anger; they would have difficulty
concentrating, would feel anxious and on edge without knowing why, and would have an exaggerated
startle response (over-responsive to stimuli). These are all characteristics of the diagnosis "Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder" or PTSD. In addition, these veterans would have sudden memories of the
horrors of war. These memories would be "triggered" by something that reminded their unconscious
mind of the war experience (for example, the sound of a car backfiring, reminding them of gunfire). In
these sudden memories, they felt as if they were actually re-living the experience, smelling, tasting,
feeling, hearing and seeing in vivid detail everything they went through during an actual battle. These
memories, complete with all the sensory memories, are called flashbacks. During those flashbacks, the
veteran would be out of touch with the reality around them; they would no longer know it was 1985 and
they were in America; they would think it was 1968, and they were in the jungle, reliving a particular
battle. They were totally dissociated from reality, and were reliving a past reality that was now only in
their minds. Later, in processing these experiences, the soldiers would report that during the actual
battle, they would feel very detached, even numb, from what was happening, even though they may have
been wounded themselves. At times, they reported feeling as though they were standing outside of
themselves, observing themselves going through the trauma of the battle, but not feeling anything. They
were dissociated from their reality. But their brain was recording all of the experience, exactly as it
occurred, and those "mind and body" memories were being re-experienced during a flashback.
When someone is exposed to a "psychologically distressing event that is outside the range of usual
human experience ... is usually experienced with intense fear, terror, and helplessness," (DSM III) then
dissociation usually occurs as a way for the mind to process the event without overwhelming the person.
Parts of the experience (either knowledge of what happened; the emotional feelings associated with the
event; the sensory experiences of the event, or the behaviors expressed during the event) become
separated from one's conscious awareness. The more frequent the trauma, the more dissociation occurs.
This phenomenon is why children who have been severely sexually abused and tortured, are amnesic for
those events. In a landmark university study by Linda Williams hundreds of children brought into a
hospital emergency room who received medical confirmation of sexual abuse, were contacted at intervals
throughout a 20-year period. Only one-third of these children, when reaching adulthood, retained
conscious memories of the sexual abuse -- all others had repressed, or dissociated, those awful
memories. Such is the power of the mind to block out painful experiences.
During times of torture and extreme physical and emotional pain, the mind is in an altered state,
as it dissociates itself from reality. But there are other ways to alter the mindstate, for example, by
sensory deprivation, or meditation, whereby one focuses internally, with sensory stimulation from the
outside minimized or eliminated. You may recall in the 1980's that "float tanks" were popular. In a float
tank you are floating on very heavily salted water; you are enclosed in a totally darkened metal tank, and
you float for an hour without any sensory stimulation. Many people felt claustrophobic, and couldn't
take it. But if you could stand it, you would eventually report having an euphoric experience. If you had
been hooked up to a brain wave machine (EEG), your brain would no longer be producing beta waves
(the brain state associated with usual waking activity). Instead you would be in a theta state, the state
associated with deep relaxation, as when you are just about ready to fall asleep (the twilight state). In
27
this state, the brain produces lots of endorphins, the body's natural "feel good" chemicals that give you
a profound sense of well-being. It is important to note that this twilight state is associated with the
ability to rapidly absorb and learn information. Without the "filtering" mechanism of the conscious
waking mind, information seen or heard "pours" into the subconscious mind. Biofeedback expert
Thomas Budzynski of the University of Colorado Medical Center reports, "We take advantage of the fact
that the twilight state, between waking and sleep, has these properties of uncritical acceptance of verbal
material, or almost any material it can process; it is in such "altered" states of consciousness that a lot of
work gets done very quickly." (For much more information about brain research and technology
associated with producing altered states, read the fascinating book Mega Brain, by Michael Hutchison.)
Other methods used to alter brainwave states include, but are not limited to, rapidly flashing lights,
drugs, phased sound waves, negative ions (electromagnetic energy fields), electroshock, alterations in
gravity in the cerebellum (spinning), microwave emitters, and lasers.
It is vitally important to understand about dissociation, because in learning about how someone's
mind can actually be controlled by someone else, you must understand how it is possible to program the
human mind as you would a computer. "Programming" is a fairly recent term in the history of mind
control (and is of course associated with computer technology). Perhaps you'd recognize it better as
"brainwashing." In the POW camps, captors would refer to "freezing," a term used to destroy the
person's identity. Using food and sleep deprivation, isolation, torture, chronic assault on a person's
values, and instilling total dependence on the captor's for survival, a person's whole sense of self would
be destroyed. They would be totally helpless, broken, with no will of their own left. They would then be
ready for the "brainwashing," or "refreezing" whereby a new value system and a new identity would be
put in through reward and punishment, conditioning or "programming" that person to believe or do only
what the captors wanted them to believe or do. (For more information on brainwashing, including USA
and Canadian government experimentation, read: Brain Control by Eliot Vallenstein; Deep Self by John
C. Lilly; Inside the Black Room by Jack Vernon; In Search of the Manchurian Candidate by John Marks;
Journey Into Madness by Gordon Thomas; I Swear by Apollo -- author unknown -- published by
Canadian publisher.)
Just as it is possible to break down a person in order to create someone you can control (by
getting them to do anything you want them to do), so it is possible to program a part of a person's mind
(a dissociated part that is split off, by trauma or other means, from connection with reality). You can
"teach" that part of the mind to do what you want it to do without the part of the mind that is conscious
and aware knowing what's going on. Hence, people with multiple personalities report that they "lose
time," whereby they don't remember where they have been or what they have been doing. Here is how a
patient, repeatedly sadistically sexually abused as a child, explains it:
"Dissociation is a way of escaping the intolerable. I'm sure it happened first during the trauma
itself, and was a sanity-saving way of dealing with overwhelming physical pain as well as the psychological
pain of betrayal. For me it took the form of physical numbness and cold, and to this day, when I dissociate,
I most often go numb. First my hands and feet go; I can't feel them, and if my eyes are closed, I have no
sense of where they are in space. Then the numbness in my face starts. I can't feel my lips or cheeks.
When I dissociate badly, the whole body goes and I feel and move like a block of wood... Worse than the
physical dissociation is what happens mentally while the physical numbness is in place. I guess the only
thing I can say in comparison is that it's the mental equivalent of white noise, or radio static, that can leave
me blank-faced and staring into space. The thoughts that are there whip through at the speed of light with
no coherence, organization or form. I get very confused. It can range from being a little vague and spacey
to full white out where I don't see or hear much. This is really dangerous if I am driving. There have been
some episodes where I don't remember getting someplace. I also sometimes just "clock out" and lose time.
When I come back to myself I may not be immediately conscious that I've lost hours." – Penny
During that "dissociated" time, when she "clocks out," what is going on? Another part of the mind
has taken over; in Penny's case, another personality is "in charge of" the body. This personality (or alter)
interacts with others and carries out certain tasks, but when Penny "comes to" she has no knowledge of
28
this other part of the self. As her therapist, I have talked to this other "person" inside (the person is
really only a part of her mind) and I know the personality characteristics of this person. I know that this
part of Penny responds to the name "Diane," she is outspoken and can get angry if challenged (as
opposed to Penny, who is meek and allows others to tell her what to do). Diane also has a peculiar way
of tilting her head, almost in a flirty, cocky manner, something I have never seen Penny do, as she is
much more rigid and controlled, both in posture and feelings.
How do these dissociated parts get created? And how did "Diane" come to be? And why? To
answer these questions, I will let a programmer herself tell you. This person was used from infancy in
the United States Government mind control experiments, and her job as a youth and adult was to "split
off" parts of others' minds in order to program those parts to do what the experimenters wanted them to
do. By programming, I mean that the human, in a dissociated or altered mind state, has been
systematically and deliberately taught lessons, attitudes, beliefs, behaviors and responses to specific cues
("triggers") so as to respond on command in ways that benefit the person/groups doing the
programming. Just as Ivan Pavlov's dogs were taught to salivate to the sound of a bell, in anticipation of
the meat that was delivered soon after, so human beings can be taught to respond in infinite ways to cues
in their environment that "trigger" responses. Assume that first, the child has been exposed to torture
and hideous psychological and physical abuse to the extent that the child has learned to dissociate into
altered states of mind. (Remember as well that current electronic technology -- as mentioned in Mega
Brain -- makes torturing children obsolete, in that trauma is no longer necessary to access altered brain
states -- thus, programming people is much "cleaner" and easier to do.) Here's how they do the
programming:
Techniques on 'Creating' New Children
"Daub fingertip size glob of vaseline or K-Y jelly on pressure points -- wrists, inner elbows, behind
knees, under ears. Take ends of 2 wires (black and red are easiest, negative/positive easier identified)
with metal attachments (round, copper, holes in center) and tape with surgical tape on top of vaseline.
Calibration - watch for muscular reactions, eye glazing, sweating, involuntary loss of bladder control,
bowel control. Want to give enough of a current w/o being too much. Want child to remain alert.
Words, codes given. Assignments given. 'Yes, one finger; No, raise two; Confused -- raise right hand.'
Clarify instructions. If still confusion, time to stop, take a break. Do not allow any contact between
patient and others until cycle is completed. Do not, under any circumstances, offer juices, snacks, etc.
which could be construed as a 'reward' until the cycle is completed. Check carotid pulse for significant
elevation in blood pressure. Do not wish to affect a heart attack. Heart attacks can occur in children.
(Children are outfitted with diapers before the sessions begin, are also taken to the bathroom
beforehand. Keeps down unnecessary interruptions). Keep voice on same level at ALL times. Not
hurried, not raised or lowered. Same pace at all times. Droning, hypnotic effect. Helps to stabilize heart
rate.
"When instructions given to child, and received, then and only then give reward of name for
identification purposes. Code phrases -- 'well done,' 'very good,' or 'you did real good.' Avoid hugs,
touch, any other forms of physical contact. Eye contact necessary, stabilizing. Allow alter-state to form
place of safety within, encourage alter to describe internal surroundings. (All is taped, voice-activated,
recorded later in the computer records for others to refer to).
"One response is 'I want my mommy.' Necessary to remind child that, 1) 'Mommy is dead,' 2)
'Mommy brought you here' (only use if true), 3) 'Mommy is right outside -- you can see her as soon as
you've finished,' or 4) 'Mommy told me to tell you to be a good boy/girl.' Room is kept low lighted for
maximum effect. They prefer only one person (interventionist) to be with the child. Less distractions.
They also prefer it to be a person the child will not be able to ID on a day-to-day basis in 'outside' regular
activities.
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"Sessions can vary greatly, depending on the time allowance, expense allowance, urgency, etc.
Occasionally exceptions are made for disciplinary measures. May (in that case) be an all-nighter.
Keeping the room dark also helps simulate nighttime, which is conducive to their 'rehabilitation.'
"The children are taught responses according to Pavlov's theories -- inpracticum. This basically
involves uses of 'triggers' usually found in the subject's natural, normal home-based environment.
"Audiological: Grandfather clocks, church chimes set for certain hours of the day/night are the
most preferred. Long-running TV programs are effective on short-time bases (due to the fact that they
may change times, etc.). Dogs that bark at certain times of night are also effective; revving of an engine;
car door opening and shutting; footsteps outside bedroom window. Preferable to use natural sights and
sounds due to need not to arouse suspicions of any household members not actively involved.
"Visual: Phases of the moon, clock-faces (preferably digital for younger children), lights in most
neighbors' houses turning off, moon rays coming through window in darkness of night (full moon), and
fireflies can be very effective and seemingly harmless trigger.
"Other: nursery rhymes, flags, date on a calendar, religious holidays, hand signals, words,
phrases, eye winks; virtually anything can be used as a trigger.
"Step #1 is invasion, step #2 is intervention. Once the first plateau of the cyclic invasionary
process is completed, the child will be 'tested' -- again in-office, using a number of visual/audiological
sight/sound external invasion techniques to record the level of response of the subject (nicknamed 'kneejerk'
response). This can be a valuable tool in assessing the cost-and-time-effectiveness of this particular
technique on this particular subject. Those children who respond more spontaneously are considered to
be higher-value prospects for future experimentation." -- Janus (the programming alter's name)
Are you beginning to understand how scientific principles and techniques are used to program
people? Here's more from "Janus":
"I personally was assigned 12 babies as an older child. I was about 7 or 8 when I was first
introduced to them all in a room. They were all children of families. So they were long-term projects. I
programmed other children, too. I was found to have a knack for trouble-shooting -- figuring how what
went 'haywire' and 'reprogramming' them. I didn't try to memorize the systems. That wasn't my job. My
job was to CREATE alter personalities. There were other people who were more trained in the specific
skills of teaching the alters specific jobs. Once an alter was created, and trained to come out in response to
a trigger, then they had to learn their jobs. Sometimes I would visit different locations and help train
others how to train the children."
Recall how I told you that technology is available that allows massive amount of learning in an
altered state to occur? Patients have drawn pictures of and described in detail very sophisticated
electronic equipment used in programming. When I first discovered the book Mega Brain, I was
astonished to see some of the very machines that my patients had described, years before the book was
published. Similarly, patients had described virtual reality machines used in training alters (dissociated
parts) long before that technology was presented to the public. And even before machines were used in
programming, enough was known through secret experimentation on human beings, that experimenters
knew humans were capable of memorizing enormous amounts of information when in an altered state.
In that theta brainwave state, we have access to an "inner encyclopedia" of all that we have ever learned
or experienced. Thus when patients tell us of their "photographic memories" and are able to recite
verbatim seemingly endless scripts, it is a phenomenon that is very real and very understandable, if you
can know how the brain works.
This knowledge will also help you understand how programmers use audio and videotapes and
movies to confuse people as to what is reality and what is not. In an altered state, people are forced to
watch movies and listen to tapes that form what are called "screen memories" that hide or distort the
memories of what actually happened to the person. If a person does begin to recall memories of abuse,
30
or memories of information that is supposed to be buried so deeply in the unconscious that it never
reaches conscious awareness (such as knowledge of abusers, the particulars of how people are
programmed and abused, or top secret information ferried to others), then the screen memories (also
known as "scramble programs") pop up. When someone begins to tell tales that others recognize as the
plot of a movie or television show (I heard the "plots" of the X-files from patients long before the
television show existed!), they can be discredited and not believed as others say "oh, she's just seen the
movie and is remembering that."
If any of the readers are still doubtful about whether mind control really exists, I invite you to read
the public transcripts of the hearing by the Senate Committee on Radiation Experiments that was held
on April 15, 1997. On that date, Valerie Wolfe (a therapist from New Orleans) and her patient testified
before the Senate committee about the mind control experiments that are still being conducted in our
country. They were allowed to testify because, even though they were reporting mind control, rather
than radiation experimentation, the high-level people named as conducting the experiments were many
of the same names that had been exposed as doing the radiation experiments. When they finished
testifying, Valerie reports, "you could hear a pin drop." It was not in the mandate of that committee to
investigate the mind control experimentation; but the Committee did formally issue a request to the
President that a thorough investigation be conducted. The transcript of this hearing is riveting; no one
can tell the story more convincingly that those who have been through it. As you read Sue Ford's story,
keep in mind these things that I have written. Know that thousands of people have come forth with
information about these abuses.
"If people truly want to combat this phenomenon, it must be brought out into the public; it must
be brought out into the light of day, and it must be done so very publicly so as to protect the people
coming forth. It cannot be combated just on a national level, because it is international in nature.
Governments work in collusion with other governments throughout the world; people who want power
work in collusion with others; they use each other to gain social, economic and political power." -- Dr.
Green (a programming alter)
Pamela J. Monday, Ph.D.
31
Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
Insights by Mary Lewis, LCSW:
AWAKENING TO THE REALITIES OF MIND CONTROL
I was born in the Land of Lincoln, following the war to end all wars, in 1947. It was a time of new
hope, and as a baby boomer born to a family of educators, I was taught to believe in God, motherhood,
apple-pie and the red, white, and blue: America was beautiful. I was raised in a conservative, traditional
home, the second oldest child in a family of seven children. We practiced the Catholic Faith by tradition,
and we children attended the local parochial school when one was available. There was no physical or
sexual abuse in my childhood, so of course I was unaware of its existence. Because the media had not yet
begun to play out the truth of such things, I actually reached late adolescence secure in the knowledge
that the world was a very safe place in which to be.
I met the man of my dreams as a senior in college, and we married after graduation. I look back
over those years and I marvel at the simplicity of our life then. There was nothing to fear, except of
course the threat of some awful communist country again trying to mess with the United States. I truly
lived my life believing in our government. In 1985 I began to realize that a new career might be in the
making, as I saw my children growing into their own and myself responding more and more to requests
for help by various troubled people. I decided to go back to school and get a Masters in Social Work.
During my undergraduate work, a professor discussed incest briefly, and then with some disdain,
assured us that we would probably never see such a thing, since it only occurred in the "Hills of
Kentucky." I believed him. The idea of such a horrible thing happening to another human being never
crossed my mind again for many years. During my masters program, I again received no information
about sexual abuse, or for that matter, any other abuse. I did not learn about addictions. I learned about
research, and how to do it. That is an over-simplification of my experience, but suffice it to say, it did not
prepare me for what I was to learn in the field of social work as I came to know it.
I was assigned an internship as a unit social worker in a freestanding psychiatric hospital. Thus
began my real education. In October of that year, I experienced a poignant moment, branded in my
mind. One of the nurses on the unit was commenting on the unusually high number of sexual abuse
cases we had on the unit, when another nurse commented, "Oh, didn't you know this is borderline
season?" I was shocked to hear such a statement, but it was a long time before I understood the full
implications of that remark.
Following my internship, I was then employed as the unit social worker at this hospital. It was
here that I began to hear bizarre stories of satanic ritual abuse from several of the patients. We also saw
several cases of self-mutilation, something I sincerely did not know ever happened, much less in such
massive numbers. Cutting, burning, using acid to burn the skin, even one patient who purposely put a
screw in her leg and let it get infected. This was all new to me. I didn't know what to make of the ritual
abuse stories; they were extremely serious in nature, and beyond my ability to believe. I had never heard
of such a thing, and yet, hearing the same type of thing over and over from so many different patients,
confused me. Something was most certainly not right, but I still had no idea what was really going on.
As I began my private practice, I began to hear more and more stories related to horrible,
ritualistic, disgusting abuse. One particular case was most disturbing. This person was most articulate
about what had happened to her. Her childhood saga would be food for Stephen King. I was still
confused and concerned about how I could be hearing so many similar things from such a diverse
population of people.
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My belief system did not include even the possibility of such trauma, and yet the possibility that
it might be true started to seep into my mind. Over a period of a year and a half, I had three different
clients draw pictures for me, talk to me, and cry to me about the horrors of what happened to them while
visiting Disney World. They all three drew pictures, explained details and were horrified at what they
had endured at the most wonderful of rides "It's a Small World." This was my family's favorite ride, in
fact we so enjoyed Disney World, we had taken our children two years in a row when they were younger.
So, indeed I was shocked, and scared when I began to hear such things that were so similar, from people
that did not know each other. Better yet, I was still extremely skeptical. I did not want to believe that it
was possible. I did not want to give up my dream world. I did not want to change my way of thinking.
I acquired Brice Taylor's first book, STARSHINE: One Woman's Valiant Escape From Mind
Control, at a conference where she was speaking. As I began to read her story, I actually felt sick,
because so much of what she was describing in the book was so similar to what I was hearing from
others. A client I had could have written the book, and yet, I knew this client had told me her story
several years before the publishing of STARSHINE. Still, none of this made any sense to me, as the idea
of mind control was still a very far-fetched concept in my mind. I contacted Brice, who told me her real
name was Sue Ford, and she and this client made contact, only to discover that they knew a lot of the
same people, experienced a lot of the same programming, and endured their own private holocaust. My
skepticism was eroded by this time, as I personally witnessed the sharing of this misery.
Although I had to completely alter my life concepts, my belief system, and my purpose in doing
my work, I knew I had no choice but to stand beside these courageous people who had lived such lives of
horror, and to help them to have hope. The mind control concept made more sense to me than just the
ritual abuse alone. I now know that the ritual abuse was just a means to an end.
As I continue to honor these survivors with my belief, I learn more and more about the evil that
surrounds us, and the determination of that evil to succeed. It is with the same fervor that my husband
and I persevere. No one can change my mind. I know too much now, I have seen too much now, and my
only hope is that others of you that read this book will believe her truth and help stop this living
nightmare.
I have concluded that the success of the programming depends on the triumph of the assault on
the five senses. The programmers use sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste to alter a child's
perceptions. The method used works on the principle of operant conditioning. For example, tones
paired with electroshock, in turn wires the commands about these things into the hard drive of the
child's mind, in order to control them. Programmers very cleverly use common things and ideas to
guarantee that a child will be sure to encounter these things throughout their lifetime, thus assuring
control.
The telephone is an example of such programming. A programmed person under mind control is
extremely tuned into the telephone. The tones are important, as well as the number of times a phone
rings. It is extremely hard for a recovering person to let a phone ring, and often just the ring alone can
trigger a panic-attack. The tones played in the act of dialing the telephone can serve as a trigger to mind
controlled victims and can be extremely troubling to programmed people. Things that other people take
for granted as just a helpful tool, play a frighteningly scary role in the lives of those who were tortured
with mind-control.
Certain themes have surfaced throughout the years, which to this day continue to amaze me as I
hear them over and over. The Disney Parks, MGM Studios, Disney Movies, Disney characters, and
Disney songs have been used in conjunction with the programming. My understanding of this is that
using such a familiar and popular theme assures that the program will be triggered easily. To anyone
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who is a Disney fan (and who is not), this is probably one of the hardest things to believe. However,
sitting where I sit, hearing what I hear, and seeing what I see, I cannot refute this truth anymore.
Certain animals are used in the programming. Dolphins are a common program. Birds are also
used to ensure the silence of the programmed person. The child is told that birds can hear what they do,
and if they tell, the bird will fly back and tell on them. There is a constant fear of going to jail, as well.
One of the ways this is instilled, is the child is forced into participating in some diabolical, criminal act,
and then the child is told they are an accomplice. Thus, if they ever tell, they too will go to jail.
Monarch butterflies are also used for programming. There is what is known as the "Monarch
Project." Again, I don't purport to understand all of this, I just know that being obsessed with Monarch
butterflies is one thing in one client, but to have it reported over and over again becomes suspect.
The programmed people I have worked with seem to have an obsession with their own birthdays.
Once in recovery, unless the suicide programs are disconnected, the desire to kill themselves as they
remember their past is overwhelming, especially around the time of their birthday, and this has proven
true with each individual I see.
Sleep is also an issue with programmed people. They rarely sleep for more than a few hours at a
time, or they have bouts where all they want to do is sleep. There are sleep programs, designed to shut
down the mind if it starts to remember. This is a serious problem for recovering people, and one that is
often written off as mere depression. This is another ploy of the programming; almost any one of the
symptoms taken out of context could be attributed to another cause. All this is very cleverly
orchestrated.
There is programming associated with childhood games such as the game of LIFE. Played over
and over again it is a way of instilling the idea of how their life is to be played out. Grow up, get a job,
make babies, make money, live happily ever after, so simple, clean, and coy. Another game reported to
me, over and over again is the game "No Place to Run, No Place to Hide." This game was actually
physically acted out during the programming. The child was made to run and hide, and then was tracked
down and punished. The result being, the child learns they can never get away from this horror.
Certain television programs and actors have also been a source of programming for the mindcontrolled
person. Over and over again I hear the same programs being mentioned, that they were
forced to watch as children, and often feel compelled to watch in rerun form. Certainly I know that we
all have our childhood favorites, but the obsession that I have witnessed over certain theme songs,
shows, and even entertainers goes well beyond the norm. Using music as a form of mind control is
insidious. Our minds are like steel traps for words of songs we hear as children and thus will trigger us
immediately. For the purpose of mind control, hearing a certain song can send a recovering mindcontrolled
victim into sheer panic. Two particular shows seem to be universally known to the recovering
people I have seen: THE WIZARD OF OZ and IT'S A GOOD LIFE. The phrase "follow the yellow brick
road" is a program used to trigger someone into doing whatever he or she is told to do.
Food is reported to me constantly as a trigger for many of the mind-control survivors. Oreo
cookies are a big trigger, as well as M&M candies. My experience has been that if a mind-controlled
person is asked how they eat M&M's, they will answer with clarity as to the exact way they do so. It
might be by color, it might be by color sequence, it might be not eating a certain color; but there will be a
pattern that must not be altered. If asked to do so, they will often be visibly shaken by the request. Ask a
non-programmed person how they eat them, and they might say "by the handful," "I don't like them," or
just say that it's a silly question.
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Probably the most disturbing food I find universally reported to be programming is McDonald's
french fries. I know there is always some kind of taste war going on among the fast food giants as to who
has the best fries, but it is not O.K. if a person feels compelled to eat McDonald's fries daily. The urge to
do so is so strong, that several people have reported that this is their little secret. It embarrasses them,
because they don't understand the overwhelming urge to eat them. I also know about food addictions,
but that doesn't fit for so many of these people.
The one program that has been a universal theme in all of the people that I have worked with over
the past 10 years is their abject fear of going to hell for lying. This is a particularly clever ploy on the part
of the programmers, because if indeed a person actually has the courage to begin to heal from this
horror, and start revealing to someone, they are instantly paralyzed with fear. The ultimate insult to
their truth is that they have been told that if they believe anything really happened to them, and tell, it
will be a lie. It is a "Catch 22" designed to keep the silence.
Thank God a few brave souls have reached beyond that fear and into the light of truth. This truth
has set them free. For many of the people I know who were programmed as children, this truth is now
their reality. Like Sue Ford, they no longer have repressed the horror, but instead can recall it. Not
unlike the survivors of the Holocaust, these courageous people have overcome their own private war, to
conquer Evil in it's finest hour. To those who don't or won't believe what I know to be true, I pray for you
to see the truth, to help those in need, and to stop the evil from spreading any further. Healing is
possible, and is happening. Once the healing begins, the people can reach out to others that need
healing. We need to light the "candle of hope" for these precious people, and pass on the "light of truth."
Mary Lewis, LCSW
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Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
AUTHOR'S INTRODUCTION
Who with conscience could read the following autobiographical account and, in the name of
freedom, justice and love, brush aside the misuse of power, human slavery and mind control described in
this book? For it is true that we have still not rid the world of slavery and in this generation it is slavery
born of a most malevolent and menacing type. In a society where competition for wealth, power, and
control of others is foremost, we as a people are doomed to self-destruction, unless we change. Our
values need to change. We need to help our children grow to believe in equality and justice, and they
need to be taught the spiritual values that we as a society have come to disregard over the decades.
Our country is a young 200 years old. At the conclusion of the adoption of our Constitution.
Benjamin Franklin was asked, "What have you wrought?"
In his own words he answered, "A Republic, if you can keep it."
It has been through my life experience that I see the need to take a serious look at how we have so
dangerously strayed not only from the ideals set forth in our Constitution, but also from our fundamental
God-given spiritual values. I know that for my sons, daughter, myself, my ex-husband, and countless
other men, women, and children, who at this time are unable to speak for themselves, the following
amendment to the Constitution has been violated. It reads:
Section 1. Neither slavery, nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for Crime whereof
the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist Within the United States, or any place subject to their
jurisdiction.
My children and I have never consciously committed a crime. WE HAVE NEVER HAD THE
CHANCE TO LIVE OUR LIVES IN FREEDOM. Instead we have been put into a hidden bondage by a
heinous form of slavery -- one far more evil than has been in existence in our society before. The
magnitude of horror and the level of secrecy that shrouds it has allowed a level of atrocities against
mankind to exist that surpasses even those in Nazi Germany under the leadership of Adolph Hitler; and
those men who worked in his concentration camps have carried his legacy to our country. Whatever
term one wants to put to this hideous activity, it is one of total and complete disregard for humanity, for
human freedom, civil rights and the right to live safely on this planet. For, when we as a people allow
certain individuals in our society to experiment with and enslave other individuals for the so-called
'advancement of technology' or the 'race toward world domination,' we are doomed.
What most of you have not been allowed to know is that years ago, at the outset of the Cold War
(if not before), permission was given to a hidden group of so-called "professionals and leaders" to
experiment on the unsuspecting American populace in an effort to further a variety of advanced
technology. The technology gleaned by the American leaders, medical professionals, and scientists was
and still is in the form of genetic engineering, mind control, brain research, near death experimentation,
paranormal/psychic experimentation, remote viewing, time and space travel, bioelectromagnetic
frequency medicine, and other advanced research that make our current level of technological
understanding and application antiquated. I am not suggesting that the technology was not, in certain
projects, valuable; however, I am stating that it was often attained by the American government at the
expense of American lives, as many of its citizens were experimented on without their knowledge or
consent.
Many books have been written describing innocent peoples' firsthand accounts of various forms of
ritual abuse, unauthorized and non-consensual medical experimentation, genetic experimentation,
radiation experimentation, drug experimentation and mind control. And yet, these numerous first-hand
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accounts of extremely violated human rights have been cast aside and denied, even by our own FBI,
CIA and government. Why, you ask? I believe the following information, gathered by my personal
involvement as Henry Kissinger's personal 'mind file,' will help you understand the situation we face and
what has occurred. Morally I feel it is my responsibility to share with you what I witnessed as I walked
among those participating in these projects. After I have shared with you what I experienced, it will be
your responsibility to choose what you do with this information. And I will finally be able to rest,
knowing I have done my duty, first to God and then to you, my fellow citizens, by sharing the truth of my
experiences so that you can be informed as to what has occurred, to your detriment and at your expense,
but without your knowledge or permission.
People often ask me if I'm afraid that my controllers might kill me. Honestly, I have had so many
near-death experiences that I am familiar with dying. Death is not at all frightening to me. My life has
been restored through Divine intervention countless times and I trust that when God is ready for me to
leave this world, I will go, and I won't go until that Divine timing is completed. What is frightening is
living without doing something to alert people to the invisible danger and loss of rights and freedoms
that are before us. Some things are so precious and sacred that to violate them is worse than death.
Specifically, I am referring to the sacred nature of our minds and spirits and the Divine core bond that
goes between a mother and a child. The pain and suffering that results from the destruction of this bond,
due to a life of torture and mind control intended to intentionally shatter this bond and other family
relationships, in order to establish control, is so excruciatingly painful that I will do anything necessary
in the service of stopping it from happening in future generations.
A few years ago, after I spoke at a Surveillance Expo in Washington, D.C., an intelligence officer
approached me and asked me how I managed to stay alive. I explained to him that I sent documentation
of my recollected experiences out to professionals who were vocal in regard to these issues, with a letter
stating that if anything happened to me, my children, or my ex-husband, I gave them permission to more
widely distribute my information. This officer laughed and said, "Little lady, I believe you have the CIA
by the balls! They are probably having to protect you." Although I am still alive, the harassment that I
will share with you later hasn't stopped.
I submit this information to you as respectfully as I can. I apologize for the apparent lewdness of
some of the material, and yet this is how it happened, this is what occurred. Please forgive the nature of
the writing, or how I need to present it, often in it's original context, the way it was experienced by the
many parts of me. What you read is a glimpse into the events as experienced through the eyes of the
programmed personalities who endured this abuse. You may notice the different perceptions of different
personalities at varying ages, and some of the values, or lack of them that they were taught. Much of the
following information has been copied, often verbatim, from my private journals. Over the years, daily, I
painstakingly documented my memories, in an attempt to deal with and sort out the often vivid, though
confusing, memory flashbacks I had. What I remembered was so far from the reality I thought I had
lived, that it was deeply disturbing.
What you are about to read is a composite of years of memory work describing the details and
information as I worked to untangle the knot. Having been programmed to have a perfect photographic
memory greatly aided me toward this enhanced, often meticulously detailed account. The training my
controllers gave me backfired on them. Once my secret life began leaking into my conscious mind, I
experienced so many intrusive flashbacks not only in my mind but also in my body, that it forced me to
recall these experiences in extensive detail to the point that it disrupted my everyday functioning ... so
much so, that I was forced to leave my master's degree program in graduate school and enroll in daily
therapy. In an attempt to understand and contain all the information that came flooding back to my
mind, I was compelled for years to write out each and every memory the way I saw it in my mind's eye,
and heard, smelled, and felt it in my body, so I could attempt to maintain some semblance of my own
37
personal reality. This information, chronicled in my journals over the last 14 years, beginning in 1985,
created a way for me to report to you what happened to me.
Desperately, I struggled and worked diligently over the years to pull myself together in an attempt
to help my children, my husband, and myself. Looking back, I felt like a person with no arms or legs
attempting to run an Olympic marathon. My body was able but I didn't have the use of my mind, which
was shattered into a thousand pieces and further locked away from me in a programmed bondage.
Although I couldn't think about it, deep within my soul my heart ached and the wounds festered.
People often ask me, "How did you get out?"
I answer, "By the grace of God," and I explain that as I grew older, although I could not think
about what was causing me so much pain, I had moments when I could feel that something was very
wrong. When those deeply, emotionally troubling and painful moments came, I asked God to please
help me. Through daily prayer and the leading of the Holy Spirit, I was led out of bondage, one step at a
time, until my programming was broken and I was integrated and free.
It was then, and continues to be, horrifying to me when my experiences are validated because it
makes them more real, and then I am less able to dissociate from the excruciatingly painful emotional
component of my past. During the initial stages of my recovery I had to learn to reconnect to my body
and emotions, to learn even to cry in personalities that had never been allowed to express emotion. Then
I had to learn to think logically and contain my tender, innate female emotions so that people could
begin to hear what I was saying and not write me off as a hysterical woman -- although I had every right
to be, given the traumatic life my family and I managed to live through.
This manuscript is not a dramatization, as was my first book, STARSHINE: One Woman's Valiant
Escape from Mind Control. Instead it is a documentation of events as they happened from the best of my
recollection. It is not written to entertain. In fact, I hope you don't find it entertaining, for if you do,
you've missed the point. The pornography that has proliferated in this world has destroyed countless
lives of children, women, and men who were used in it and has taught those who view it to objectify
people. The telling of the following information is not done with the intent to further pornography and
lewd sexual behavior, but in an attempt to stop what has gone on and to insure freedom of mind, body
and spirit.
I am now fully integrated and deprogrammed. I feel very fortunate to have survived and to have
healed to the point where I can now be a spokesperson for the many who have been abused in similar
ways and are not yet recovered enough to speak on their own behalf. And, there are many. Over the
years, I have painfully witnessed those who reside in mental institutions, diagnosed as psychotic,
schizophrenic, borderline, or delusional; or others locked up as political prisoners; or worse yet, those
who couldn't overcome their programming and committed suicide. Many others walk the earth
dehumanized and enslaved in programming, living a life of internal and external hell and terror,
separated from themselves and their Divine Creator. It is for all of them that I divulge these very
personal and painful parts of my life.
Over the years, the CIA and other groups have strategically and very effectively orchestrated
campaigns to discredit victims and the professionals who attempt to help the victims to bring the reality
of what is actually occurring to light. Up until recently, the dark hierarchy that shrouds and protects the
secrecy of this hidden control of many has been very effective in keeping this reality a secret. The victims
have not been heard. They continually suffer discrediting tactics in the courtroom through the ignorance
of uninformed -- possibly mind-controlled (or compromised) -- judges and lawyers; in therapy sessions,
often with uninformed -- possibly programmed -- mental health professionals and therapists. The
church clergy, through innocence, disbelief, ignorance, fear, or possibly programming, often turn their
backs on victims who need aid and protection. The victims, regardless of age, need to know that other
38
people and especially God, hates what has happened to them. We need the church to stand in its
rightful place in the public arena and call our nation to account for the suffering of the most vulnerable.
If spiritually awakened individuals can't do it, then who can? The Holy Spirit has shown me it will take
the most spiritually erudite to stand in the face of this evil deception. Only by enacting the practice of
spiritual discernment and carefully listening to Divine spiritual direction, can this horror be eradicated
forever. It is our last and only hope.
It is time the public is made aware so they can begin to abolish the dark, controlling system that
even began to target pre-school's in the 70's, torturing and programming children who didn't even come
from an intergenerational satanic background, in order to ever widen their circles of an unpaid, slave
labor force. I am continually amazed that the public is still swayed by the CIA-connected, False Memory
Syndrome Foundation's propaganda, which explains that therapists instill these memories of horror into
their desperate clients and that children with large imaginations are making up these stories. Ask
yourself how a child three or four years old could make up these vile stories that are beyond their ageappropriate
understanding ... and what a coincidence that the accounts match other children's testimony
across the nation. Have the children been secretly uniting, sharing their "large imaginative experiences"
across the nation in order for them to all come up with similar accounts? The facts of many preschool
court cases, the testimony of the children, and the bungling and misrepresentation from lawyers and
judges in case after case has allowed the truth to be squelched.
Those within the American Psychiatric Association who still cling to the false notion that Multiple
Personality Disorder (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV now calls it Dissociative Identity Disorder) is
rare, rob the many suffering victims of the opportunity to recover. We need to begin to more fully
understand that a child's, and especially an infant's, psyche is vulnerable and can be shattered into other
personalities due to early childhood abuse. When we understand this we will be able to raise more stable
children who can then grow into healthy, creative adults. Many adults, like myself, find themselves
spending the rest of their lives trying to recover from their childhood. Early abuse wreaks havoc
physically, mentally, and spiritually on the most vulnerable and most valuable resource we have, our
children.
Once again I apologize for the pornographic nature of some of this material. In light of my
current Christian values, it is difficult and often embarrassing to mention the sexual perversions that I
was exposed to, and yet to alter the information that was brought back to my conscious awareness
through the eyes and perception of those personalities who were forced to experience it, seems to
compromise the reality of what actually happened. I have attempted to report my history in the best way
I know how, yet I have found it impossible to report my experience to you with the wholesome morality
that now rules my life. If you are faint of heart or have difficulty dealing with horrific or lewd material,
please ask God to strengthen you to face the truth set forth in this book.
In the words of Edmond Burke, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good
people to do nothing." We have reached a point in time where it is imperative for good people to act. It
is time for those who have any moral judgment to react, and then to pursue their reaction with action. It
will take all of us, standing for what we believe in, questioning old beliefs and old value systems until
they are aligned with the Mind of Christ. Do we really still believe in "One Nation Under God," or have
we lost our way in the hundreds of mindless duties and realities presented by the mass media? When
will we slow down? God is not a God of confusion, nor is He a God of hurry, or suffering. He is our
Almighty God, in Him whom we can trust. For generations humanity has been deceived and those who
are willing to put their trust and faith in God, shall rise to His Glory, as He shows the way to victory. Our
God, whom we once put in charge of our nation, is still waiting. He is still there, wanting to be of
assistance, and never in the history of mankind have we been in such desperate need of His help, of His
guiding hand. And so as we begin this journey together, with me as the reporter, and you the reader that
God has called to be present, I offer this prayer:
39
Dear Father God, Jesus, Lord of Lords, God Most High,
We come to You now, in humbleness, God, asking for Your help. We know of our own strength we
are unable to solve the problems at hand, and God, we know that things in this world are out of control
and that only You can guide us back to balanced ways. We also know as Your Word has promised that
we are cared for by You, much more than the birds and the lilies of the field, and now we ask You to show
us the way. We thank You Lord, we Glorify Your Holy Name. Thanks for sending Your son, Jesus, to
show us the way. Please be with us now, as we enter a time of national and international unrest. We
know that these are growing pains. We know that You didn't cause them, that Your will is not for our
suffering, but that by our own actions these disasters and wars have and will continue to occur. Bless us
with Your anointing. Open the eyes of our understanding. I pray that in this book Your will may shine
forth so that all of us who partake can shine for You.
In Christ,
Susan Ford
Brice Taylor (pseudonym)
"Things are hidden, temporarily, only as a means to revelation. For there is nothing hidden except to be
revealed, nor is anything temporarily kept secret except in order that it may be known.
"If any man has ears to hear, let him hear and perceive and comprehend.
"Be careful what you are hearing. The measure of thought and study you give to truth that you will hear
me with measure of virtue and knowledge that comes back to you, and more will be given to you who
hear.
"For to him who has heard and understood, more will be given, and from him who has not heard and
understood, even what he has will be taken away from him." -- Mark 4:22-25
"It isn't that they can't see the solution. It's that they can't see the problem."
-- G. K. Chesterton
"Power is the Ultimate Aphrodisiac"
-- A Quote by: Henry A. Kissinger Then Secretary of State
40
Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
Chapter One: The Creation of Human Robot
My name is Susan Lynne Eckhart Ford and I am a 48 year old, native Californian. Until 1995, I
suffered from a debilitating condition known as Multiple Personality Disorder.2 In 1985 I embarked on
the long and tedious, painful road to recovery. Through years of therapy and deprogramming I
completely reintegrated my multiple personalities back into my uniform core self, and through the grace
of God, I am alive today to convey to you my true life experiences. This account of my remembrances
will be so shocking and amazing that you may feel that you've entered the 'twilight zone.' Many waking
up today, call this making a 'paradigm shift' in reality; I call it knowing the truth. But, do keep your faith
in God and humanity, for, as my father reminded me day after day, "The truth will set you free."
My multiple personality condition resulted from what I had first thought in 1986 was solely sexual
and ritual abuse. But, as I began to heal and remember more of my hidden past, I realized that ritual
abuse was merely the mind control trauma base my ritually abused, programmed, pedophile father,
Calvin Charles Eckhart, and others used to condition me for participation in the still active top secret
Project Monarch, the Central Intelligence Agency's white slavery operation that is related to MKULTRA
and it's numerous sub-projects.
I was raised in the affluent area of Woodland Hills, California, but was abused my entire life in
many locations in and out of California, including hospitals, universities, and United States military and
NASA bases, where I was subjected to 'high-level' programming. The result of many years of trauma,
intentionally inflicted on me by my father and others to CREATE within me multiple personalities, was
that I was transformed into a programmed, totally robotical slave that could not remember to think or
tell what happened to me, due to the mind control and sophisticated programming I was under.
I was used frequently in child and adolescent prostitution and pornography. By my preteen years,
I had many personalities specially programmed to be the perfect sex slave -- a "presidential model" with
government mind files and a photographic memory equipped to deliver (most often through sexual
encounters) messages, some cryptic, to top government officials, entertainers, and other world figures.
From 1987 to 1991, I was in intensive daily therapy in California, remembering a complex
childhood that now has been validated, in part, through intelligence community, CIA, and FBI contacts
(active and retired), as well as through investigative journalists, knowledgeable mental health
professionals, and family members. In my quest for understanding and self-knowledge, I attended
school to attain my Master's Degree in Psychology. But, in April of 1991 I was forced to leave my home
and family in California, due to a clever plot and threat to my life if I continued to pursue remembrance
of my past in therapy and try to become healed. One of my therapists, Margaret Paul, Ph.D., who is also
a popular author, suggested that for my safety I should leave Los Angeles for awhile. Upon her
recommendation, I fled to the island of Kauai, Hawaii, where unbeknownst to me I was still part of the
project and still not free.
After I fled from California and was no longer living in the midst of my programmed abuse base,
nor was I in therapy, I began having vivid, detailed memories of being used both as a sex slave and
human mind file computer to some of our nation's highest level governmental officials in and out of the
White House. Among them: John F. Kennedy (sex and delivered messages). Lyndon Baines Johnson
(sex and delivered messages), Henry Kissinger (masterminded my U.S. Government and international
mind file use), Nelson Rockefeller (mind file use coordinated in conjunction with Henry Kissinger),
2 Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD): Current American Psychiatric Association listing in the Diagnostic and Statistical
Manual IV is Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID).
41
Gerald Ford (sex and delivered messages), Jimmy Carter (delivered messages), Ronald Reagan (sex
and delivered messages), George Bush (mind file use; he is a known pedophile and had sex with my
programmed daughter Kelly), and top entertainment professionals, such as my "owner" Bob Hope (sex
and message courier).
The media surrounding the exposes of Bob Hope's secret life and the books written by Arthur
Marx (Groucho's son), The Secret Life of Bob Hope, and Lawrence J. Quirk's recent book, Bob Hope: The
Road Well-Traveled, begin to portray some examples of the flaws to Bob's seemingly All-American,
patriotic, and family loving public image. My controllers and abusers were not low-level criminals, but
instead were some of the so-called "adored" leaders and entertainers of our country.
I felt alone and terrified as I began to break free from the control I was under. Catherine Gould,
Ph.D., an internationally known therapist with years of experience treating ritual abuse victims
explained that she couldn't be my therapist, for fear of losing her license or being sued since she sensed I
was a 'high-level' survivor. At that time, although I had begun to have memories of being with Ronald
Reagan during the time he was Governor of California and other government officials, due to the fact
that I was still under mind control, I had no way of understanding what 'high-level' meant. At that time,
many therapists, including my own - Margie Paul, were beginning to have their licenses pulled and often
suffered professional consequences for treating ritual abuse survivors, especially those who were "highlevel."
In April of 1991, when I fled to the island of Kauai, Catherine agreed to consult with me by phone,
and advised me to write a book, which resulted in STARSHINE: One Woman's Valiant Escape From
Mind Control. She further advised me to continue documenting the names, dates and places of my
abuse in an effort to one day go public in order to free my husband, my children, and myself.
Over the next year on the island, I recovered more of my memory, but was devastated to be
separated from my children and tried to adjust to a radically changed lifestyle, including the fact that I
was now living without my family, friends, and loved ones, and had very limited finances. I was
overwhelmed with grief, carrying a burden that few wanted to seriously look at. Several people stepped
forward to help me in whatever ways they could, offering emotional support and friendship, some even
financial support when I ran out of money, but no one could really keep me safe, until I was fully
deprogrammed from inside of myself so I could not be accessed. To reiterate a vitally important fact --
until I was fully deprogrammed, I was not safe. In 1991, there was no one who knew what I was talking
about who could help me. I had to find help within myself. And I did. Throughout my healing process,
Angels guided me when I was too afraid to connect with Christ, due to the satanic ritual abuse I had
endured in the church as a child. The Angels continually led me to books and incredible people, thereby
fulfilling God's plan for my eventual freedom.
Since multigenerationally abused and traumatized victims are selected for the mind control
projects, my three children, Kevin, Kelly, and Danny were naturally trained to follow in my footsteps as
assets of my controllers. Except for Kelly, they are still locked into their abuse base. Despite my efforts to
get help for them. Their similarly programmed father unfortunately 'doesn't have a clue,' as yet, and so
all legal custody has been taken away from me by the State of California. Toward the goal of getting my
children free, I have spent years desperately documenting my past, a task at which some of our top
governmental officials and entertainers would have liked to see me fail.
My affluent abusers made sure that I was instilled with very sophisticated programming that
would insure my death should I begin to remember or tell. Despite the fact that I was programmed to
have an 'accident,' self-mutilate, or kill myself, I am healthy, in control of my own mind, and have NO
intentions of hurting myself in any manner. I am taking extreme precautions through publicizing this
autobiographical account to encumber these power mongers from stopping my efforts to obtain help for
my affected children. It is in hopes of freeing them, and the many other suffering adults and children
locked into the bonds of the mind control projects, that I share my experience.
42
The intentionally inflicted and often extreme child abuse I endured was the necessary
"preparation through trauma" that my controllers regarded as prerequisite to my creation as a
sex/espionage agent serving within the government and beyond to an overarching cabal of only a
handful of individuals, who I overheard referred to as "The Council." For years I witnessed the attempts
and deeds they performed to control not only our government, but foreign governments as well. This
initial childhood trauma was necessary to create within me multiple personalities for later use by them,
insuring their success of my involuntary use and participation in their plan for a one world government,
where you and I are to work in varying levels -- as controlled slaves or, as they say, "worker bees."
"To be afraid is to have more faith in evil than in God." -- Emmet Fox
43
Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
Chapter Two: Early Childhood Preparation
"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things." -- Galatians
In order for my birth to be accomplished on presidential inauguration day, January 20th, 1951,
my mother's labor was induced at St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica, California. My parents named
me Susan Lynne Eckhart. The selection of inauguration day for my birth was especially meaningful
given the position I would be groomed to one day fill. My parents told the story for years that my first
words were, "I like Ike." Even at the early age of one, they were training me to be politically-minded and
had me cheering in a campaign effort for the President-elect.
Once my mother and I were released from the hospital after my birth, my father began the
rigorous training and intentional torture required to shatter my base personality with the goal of creating
many separate and individual personalities for training and use by others as I grew older. When my
mother left my father to babysit me, he withheld all food until I was starving. Then he held my bottle in
front of me, but instead of allowing me to have the bottle, he would slip his penis into my mouth for me
to suck. I felt I was dying through suffocation, as my airway was blocked and I gagged for breath. There
were many such traumas to follow, most often on a daily basis.
For you to understand how I came to trust the things I began remembering at age 35 about my
earliest childhood, I will share the following experiences. In meditation, I began remembering small,
inconsequential things at first, like the time my mother left my father to care for me when I was four
months old. He laid me on top of the dining room table and watched as I fell off! I clearly remembered
the panicked feeling of terror as I was falling and remembered the overwhelming sharp pain that
resulted in my body as I hit the floor. I also remembered the color of the carpeting, the design on the
wallpaper and other details about the room. We moved from this house in Santa Monica when I was 6
months old, and I never saw it again.
Unable to fathom what these earliest of childhood memories could mean, I began reading about
the experiences of Vietnam veterans and how they suddenly relived flashbacks of traumas they witnessed
in war. I thought this might be the same type of memory phenomenon. In order to test my recall of this
particular incident, I shared the details of this memory with my mother. Her reaction was one of
amazement although she seemed terribly confused about my father's actions. She said I had described
our first house and was surprised I could remember so accurately details from an event that happened
when I was only an infant. Being the third child to a very busy mother, there were no pictures taken of
me in that house that I could have seen. The validation she gave me made me feel more trusting of the
other memories that soon began flooding back into my awareness.
Trauma to Create Multiple Personality Disorder
Memories of trauma too overwhelming to bear as a child unfolded for me to deal with as an adult.
Bit by bit, piece by piece, I began to remember and understand just what had actually happened to me as
a child, but in no way did the memories come neatly packaged in chronological order. It took the test of
time, as each memory fit into ones before and after them and, like a puzzle, with all the pieces laid in
proper place, I began creating a more complete yet horrifically devastating picture.
Armed with that first validation from my mother and the support of two therapists, I began daily
therapy remembering heinous tortures, terrifying abuses, and strange details that were painfully yet
neatly compartmentalized into the reality of separate child and adult personalities programmed within
44
me. Many had separate names. This was in 1987, two years after my initial "awakening" first began.
And I was, now, for the first time, accurately remembering my earliest childhood. I was referred to
Stuart Perlman, Ph.D., a Westwood clinical psychotherapist, and began seeing him a few sessions a week
until the self-harm and suicidal crises I was attempting to live through, triggered by remembering things
I was programmed forget, quickly required my sessions with him to escalate to seven or more per week.
I was also having weekly sessions with Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
At the time I began therapy, neither of my therapists was familiar with dissociation, Multiple
Personality Disorder, or ritual abuse. The vivid, painful and often terrifying flashbacks and abreactions
of the traumatic memory I retrieved in and out of their offices left all of us in a quandary, trying to make
sense of what was happening to me. Dr. Perlman wrote an article on MPD/ritual abuse for a
psychoanalytical journal, where he shared that as time went on he came to understand that Multiple
Personality Disorder was not as rare as he had been taught it was in school. Although his quiet, aloof,
non-interactive, psychoanalytical stance often made me uncomfortable during therapy sessions, I was
later grateful that he had not interjected his own reality into my memory retrieval process and kept to
himself his initial belief that I was delusional. My first session with Dr. Perlman was deeply touching as
tears fell from his cheeks when I recounted instance after instance of childhood abuse. His wise words to
me that day were, "Everything you need to heal is within, you have all the answers inside of yourself."
My other therapist, Dr. Paul, and I were continually perplexed as to what all the memories meant
and didn't have an answer until a year later when I attended a Victims of Incest Emerge as Survivors
(VOICES) conference in New Jersey by myself, where I heard a female minister speak about satanic
ritual abuse. At the end of the lecture, I felt numbed, as the speaker recounted many tortures similar to
those I had remembered from my childhood. The "big, beautiful, perfect fairy tale life" I thought I was
living began to crumble, one memory at a time. The following is a carefully compiled documentation of
my past.
When I was six months old, my father and mother decided to move to a more rural setting to raise
their young family. My brother Jim was eight, my brother Rick was four, and I was six months old. My
father borrowed money from my mother's mother to purchase a three-bedroom ranch home located in
the midst of a walnut grove in Woodland Hills, California. This home was to be the base for hidden and
extreme torture and trauma for me over the next 19 years. Those years of trauma should have been
enough to kill ten children, but somehow it didn't kill me. My father told me each time he hurt me that
he was doing it to toughen me, to strengthen me for the future. In response, I was split into many
personalities to cope with the overpowering physical and psychological pain and betrayal.
My father worked for others as a welder until 1957 when he decided to be his own boss, prompting
the opening of his own welding shop. This business, Eckhart's Welding Shop (located on Pico Boulevard
in West Los Angeles), initially was our only source of income, since my mother stayed at home as a fulltime
housewife and mother. We lived simply and frugally, getting by on the amount of money my father
earned. Sliced in between and existing parallel to the everyday conscious reality we shared as a family,
was a very dark, secret and painful reality shared in sub-consciousness and in pain. I will share many of
these slices of darkness with you so that you the reader can understand how this all came about.
When I was a year old, my father placed me in a blanket that was suspended by a rope from the
high ceiling in our living room and spun me around and around and around until I was completely dizzy
and disoriented. He then introduced a trauma, like putting something sharp up my vagina and my
young psyche shattered, splitting off another personality to withstand the pain. He began sexually
abusing me in my early months, by inserting objects into my vagina, gradually stretching it so that I
would be able to accept a full grown man's penis by the time I was two. I was being groomed for early
child prostitution, pornography, and a position in the "inner circle" at church.
45
When I was just months old, my mother recounts that she tearfully handed me over into the
arms of her brother John who took me for a week to Santa Barbara. When she told me of this incident
she always sounded like she had no choice, no free will from where she could command that no one
could take her new born baby away from her. The memory of what happened in Santa Barbara with my
Uncle John remains inaccessible to me at this time, yet I know it must be significant.
Unfortunately as you can well understand, my poor mind-controlled mother never had a chance
and was totally manipulated by my father who I believe suffered from Multiple Personality Disorder
(MPD/DID), had been ritually abused himself, and was most likely also under mind control. Much of
the time my mother was a loving, caring, gentlewoman, but she was controlled. She spent her daytime
hours obsessively cleaning house, ironing everything that she perfectly washed, scrubbing floors,
washing windows, cooking, and attending to our needs. After dinner, while my mother did the dishes,
my father sat down to watch television and read the paper. While he was relaxing, my mother began her
next job doing the bookkeeping for my father's business; she didn't stop her duties or sit down until she
collapsed into bed at 11:00 o'clock at night.
When I began recovering in the 80's, I asked my mother why all she did was scrub and clean the
house and didn't pay attention to me as a child. Her response was, "Sue, looking back, I felt like there
was something really dirty about our home."
My mother was able to feel what she wasn't allowed to think about, and she was right; there was
something dirty. She subconsciously tried to take care of the problem in the only way she knew how; by
cleaning it away. She slept through, was programmed, drugged, or was in a dissociative daze when I was
being abused or when she was being beaten by my father or abused by others. She obsessively listened to
music, which helped her to tune out and mellow. Knowing what I know now, most likely she was
listening to music she was told to listen to in order to keep her memory of our actual life locked deeply
within her subconscious mind, while the programmed reality of herself and our "perfect happy family"
was kept alive through programmed phrases in the music.
My father made medicine for my mother. She followed my father's orders and programming to a
tee. Dutiful to her programming, she delivered me to and from places where I was to be prepared,
trained, programmed, and used, without ever being consciously aware of what she was doing. To this
day, if asked about it, my mother cries and says that, while she believes and feels the allegations of what
happened to me are true, she just can't remember.
Church Ritual Trauma
Around this time, my mother joined the First Baptist Church of Woodland Hills, and began taking
me with her to church. Later, in therapy, I remembered and drew pictures of tunnels that I remembered
running under the church that connected with neighboring homes of inner circle church perpetrators.
On Sunday mornings, my mother left me in the nursery while she went to the sermon. Members of the
church staff, some of them neighbor women and the minister, ritualistically abused me in that church.
The elder minister who abused me was Rev. Grant B. Yeatman.
By age two, I was out of the church nursery and attending a small Sunday school class with other
children. One Sunday, when I was a bit older, Rev. Yeatman walked into my Sunday school class and
watched as we played a game and drew pictures. He pointed to me and said that I was "God's chosen"
and told me to follow him. Once we were outside in a protected area, he forced my head down under his
robe to perform oral sex on him like my father had prepared me from birth to do. After I was finished,
he wiped my mouth with a handkerchief and told me that I was going to hell for what I had just done, but
that I would be forgiven if I never told anyone about it. He further offered to pray for my soul and then
sent me back to my Sunday school class.
46
Another Sunday, after being sodomized in a back room by Rev. Yeatman, he took me by the hand
back to my Sunday school class, bent down and pointed to a picture of Jesus sitting with the little
children around him and whispered, "Jesus will never love a little girl who is as bad and evil as you."
From then on I believed there was something terribly wrong with me and that I would never fit in with
other people. I figured Jesus couldn't love me because I was so bad. Parts of me died inside. But deep
within my soul, in my innermost hidden and protected self, angelic beings continually reminded me of
God's love for me and of their support. When I was tortured to the extent of being projected out of body
due to the extreme pain, Jesus' Angels spoke lovingly to me and explained that I needed to go back into
my body, that some day when I was older I would understand. But subconsciously, in my limited child
understanding, I believed I was unlovable and hideous in the eyes of God.
Other Sundays, different children were "God's chosen" and had to leave the room with the
minister.
Many of the people who worked at the church, the church secretary and the Sunday school
teachers, were neighbors of ours and, I now understand were most likely ritually abused as children and
were carrying out their violent actions via their own unconscious childhood programming.
Mrs. Winkler, the church secretary, lived across the street. In addition to Christianity, she also
practiced sorcery and witchcraft in her darkened home, isolated and protected from outside intrusion by
drape-covered windows. As a toddler, my father would wake me, early on Saturday or Sunday mornings
and take me across the street along with a carrot, to "feed the horsies." We always did feed the horses
but the actual purpose of these outings was to get me out of the house to go see Mrs. Winkler for what
they called "my training and preparation."
Mrs. Winkler lit candles and laid my tiny body down on her table, performing chants over me,
while she was sticking sharp needles in my feet, burning me with the hot candle flames, or scaring me
with spiders. She would say, "Hold real still, Susie, so this potion can get in. You will be powerful and
very special one day. Your father is paying for this, for you to be made special because he loves you. You
will be known."
She told me at other times that I was chosen by God to fulfill some mission. Instead of organized
Satanism, she practiced her own perverted form of Christianity with the purpose of "purifying me" to rid
me of all evil. She never directly addressed Satan, but instead spoke of hell and damnation; it was a fire
and brimstone style of fundamental Christianity, mixed with witchcraft. Mrs. Winkler cut pieces of my
hair and saved them for rituals that were held with other "inside" church members and my father in
outdoor rural places, in the middle of the darkened night.
Trauma Programming
For years, my father performed a variety of brutal, ritual-type physical and psychological abuses,
among them: confinement in closets, cages, and a coffin, while I was told I was being left to die; near
drowning; isolation; needles inserted in sensitive body areas; food and sleep deprivation; electroshock
via electric wires, welding equipment, cattle prods, etc.; drugging; sophisticated hypnotic and electronic
programming; tying me upside down to walnut trees out in the isolated walnut groves and other places;
forcing me to participate in torturous rituals and orgies; and sexually abusing me, each time in more
perverted ways.
At that time, Woodland Hills was still in its own infancy. At first, there were only two or three
other houses built on our street, insuring my father and others plenty of wide-open spaces to conduct
their crimes. In 1952, what is now known as the "101 Freeway" had not yet been built. The area was still
largely undeveloped and rural, allowing for these crimes to easily go undetected.
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While I was still very small, my father had an affair with another church secretary named Selma
McGrew who lived in the house behind ours. She participated in my "preparation" by allowing my father
to include me in the sex they were having. Being so young and small I often felt I would be killed during
these encounters, and so I split off more personalities to endure it.
Nighttime was never intended for sleeping at our house but instead was a time of training. My
mother was the only one allowed and/or commanded to sleep. My two older brothers, Jim and Rick, and
my father came into my room night after night, creating an endless array of different forms of sexual
abuse, all under my father's direction. My brother Rick, who is four years older than I, was selected to
participate more often and my father used him to help "prepare" me for use as a child prostitute and for
my approaching debut in pornography.
The two of us were sexually abused together and were both electroshocked with bare electric wires
to our genitals. I painfully remembered my brother sitting robotically while my father attached a bare
wire to his penis and then inserted the opposite end in the electrical outlet, sending his little body into
uncontrollable spasms. Tears flooded my brother's eyes and ran down his cheeks as he then was forced
to watch as I was electroshocked. For years my mother told the story of how she continually found my
brother hiding behind the couch shocking himself by inserting bare wires into the electrical outlet. She
laughed a kind of confused, questioning laugh as she spoke this. She probably couldn't think to question
where the bare-wired cord came from or why her young son was continually seeking to electroshock
himself. I stuck a table knife in an electrical socket so often that there was a knife in the kitchen drawer
that was notched from being repeatedly inserted into the outlet. This unconscious act reinforced our
programming.
I was often awakened and drugged in the middle of the night by my parents in order to attend
rituals that were performed in the empty lot behind the church and at other locations around Woodland
Hills. Many of the gullies and outdoor places that were used for rituals when I was a young child have
since been developed into homes or large cement drainage areas, but in the 50's these areas provided
seclusion for this group. The whole congregation did not participate in these nightly horrors, only a
select inner circle was allowed in.
At two, I was initiated into the inner circle with a celebration dedicating me as the bride of Christ.
I was drugged, dressed in a long white lace gown, and passed around the circle of drugged members as
they sat around a bonfire in a vacant lot, during the middle of the night. Each member fondled me
sexually, then I was lain on an altar to be raped and dedicated to Christ and the group. The inner circle
members wore black robes and participated in sexual orgies and the killing and ingesting of animal and
human flesh. Their belief was that these cannibalistic and sexual acts would transfer the energy or life
force from the victim to them in order to make them more powerful.
I was involved in endless rituals that included being burned with candles, having crucifix's
jammed up my vagina as I lay on an alter or hung upside down on a cross, having pins inserted into
every area of my body including my vagina and the roof of my mouth, and having animals and babies
killed in front of me and being forced to eat their raw flesh and drink their blood or urine. Other
children were involved in the rituals, and when we reached a certain age we were forced to participate in
killing animals and babies. In order to psychologically survive these experiences, many additional
personalities within me were created. Nothing was ever as painful as being forced to inflict pain on
another or watch as others were tortured or killed.
My Doll Collection
I had a doll cabinet that my father had specially made for me. It was filled with dolls from all over
the world, that were given to me to love. My father used my dolls to program different personalities
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within me, as he abused me night after night. Often when my father tortured me he would hand a
different doll for me to hold in order to create different parts of me with different identities that in my
young mind I could relate to the doll I was holding. He told me the doll in my hand was part of me but
separate and then he would call it by name. There was the little doll with the red hair and freckles, the
baby doll, Cyndy the bride doll, Rebecca, Sally, Thumbelina, Barbie and Madame Alexander, to name a
few.
There were dolls everywhere around me, especially in that doll case that my father had made for
me with the sliding glass window front so the dolls could be seen. Each doll was "displayed" which my
father said meant they couldn't play until he said it was time for them to come out of the case. At night
when he woke me for abuse, he took out the doll whose personality was to be the front, or presenting,
personality of my inner system of created personalities. As he pulled a doll out of the doll case he'd say,
"she's no longer on display, she can come out and play now," and at that tender age, I would switch into
the personality my father called forth. Then he would say, "You Susie, will step aside as Doll fully enters
your body. Whenever I snap my fingers three times, Doll will enter the body and Susie will step aside,
like this now," and he would snap his fingers three times and I would follow my father's command,
totally and completely.
Holidays
Holidays always signaled times of trauma. One Christmas I awoke excited to see what Santa had
brought for me. My two worlds and the personalities that lived in them were continually subjected to
different realities, and this day was to be no different. Susie in her red velveteen robe got special
treatment while other personalities had "Xmas," a very different painful and evil reality. While Susie got
a Christmas stocking full of goodies, Sharon got razor blades and coal and parts of dead animals.
"Sharon" was another one of my inner personalities my father created, which he developed as my "inner
twin" to Susie, my conscious everyday personality. One Christmas ritual trauma I vividly remembered
was when my father laid me down on the rug in front of the fireplace and placed his finger inside my
vagina while he readied a hot poker in the fire. Somehow putting me in a trance-state, he began, "You
won't feel this. You will only continue to feel the pleasure, just like I am rubbing now. Does it feel
good?"
"Yes Daddy," I robotically answered.
"Good, then when I do this it will only increase the pleasure," he kept his finger in place until he
got the hot poker out of the fire and as he put it inside me, he took his finger out and as hypnotically
commanded, I felt only the pleasure of the hot inside me. Very lovingly he said, "Very good, honey.
You're doing very well. Now take a deep breath and count to three and feel like you have to pee. Then
when I take this out, you will feel even more pleasure. Okay?"
"Yes, Daddy," I said putting my little hand up in front of my face while I counted off, "One," as I
held up one finger, then "two," putting up two fingers, then, "three," and when he had taken the poker
out, I felt really happy. It didn't even hurt. I couldn't feel the pain of the red-hot thing. In months that
followed, I reached out and touched a piece of red-hot angle iron when my father was welding, and when
it burned my hand badly, I was surprised. I didn't understand that it would bum me. My father was an
expert at those "games."
At other times he put something scary in front of my face to startle me before he did something
traumatic to me. Then he would tell me to feel numb while he put a silver metal band around my wrist
and forehead and would shock me with the black box that was attached to the bands with wires. He'd
say "you're doing very well," but my face would be sweating and it stung when he gave me what he called
"a jolt."
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At odd times, even when other people were around, my father would say, "Do you want a jolt?"
I'd say, "No," while I giggled nervously, acting like it was a game but it wasn't.
Often after one of these jolting experiences, I felt so sleepy and my mom would say, "What's
wrong with you? Are you sick?"
"I dunno," I'd say, because I didn't know anything. To know was to 'know,' and to 'know' was very
bad and you got very hurt. So certain personalities within me took the pain and torture after which I
would be switched back to Susie who had no knowledge of any of it.
There were nights my father would wake me out of sleep and devise ways to spin me until I was
totally disoriented, after which he took me to look at myself in front of a mirror and called me by another
name other than my own, "Sandy, that is you in the mirror, and Sandy is my friend. She is going to help
us. She is a friend of Susie's, but Susie doesn't know Sandy exists. Susie doesn't even need to think
about you, Sandy." And these were some of the tactics used to shatter and then create alternate
identities within me from a very early age.
In hypnotic trance I was told, "The balloons will take you away, take you to the rooms with the
many personalities, but as you look at each one, you know that they are you. They are all you. But only
one at a time. One room and one person at a time."
Other nights, I was awakened from sleep and sexually abused to create the dissociative barrier
and to create more personalities or attitudes. I was told, "Now look into the first room. There's Darla.
Isn't she cute and pretty, and she is always happy. Darla's dedicated to the stars. She always knows just
what to say and do to make others feel good, to make them happy. Now look into the second room.
There's Sandy. She's the dancer. She can dance very well and she is able to bend in all different
directions ... to everyone's amazement. She's not at all embarrassed to take off her clothes in front of
people. She likes that, it makes her feel good. But she can only do that when the time is right." My
father also placed stars on my ceiling that lit up at night to remind me of the programming.
Over the years my controllers created programming for every single thing they could dream up.
And they programmed in angel personalities intended to handle the pain when I could not.
But their spiritual short-sidedness left them in the dark when I transcended their created angelic
personalities, and left my body escorted by real Angels. I owe my life to God and those beautiful loving
Beings who kept my soul and my love intact as they continually interceded for the little girl they
witnessed tortured unceasingly.
Military Base Programming
Dick Hof was a marine in the reserves. He and his family moved in next door when I was around
three years old. He told me he didn't, know exactly how to treat little girls because he only had boys. On
certain weekends he wore his uniform and took me to military bases where the men wore tan uniforms.
They saluted him when he was around and he acted very normal until we were out of the other men's
sight. He took me into top-secret places where he showed some sort of pass to gain entrance. Once we
were in the secret place he put me into an empty, cold, cement room and restrained me to a metal
examination table. There were bright lights overhead and the men that joined him put bands around my
wrists, ankles, and forehead, then turned out the lights and left while they shocked me real bad. They
had a screen I had to watch and messages I listened to immediately after I got shocked. Sometimes Dick
carried a briefcase that had some of my favorite dolls and toys inside, like my dolly with the red hair and
freckles and my sock monkey. When they hurt me they often pretended to hurt my dolls and toys, too,
and told me that my dolly friends would keep reminding me every day about what happens, "if you don't
obey and follow the rules -- then you get zapped," and they would shock me again. Dick also threatened
me with his gun and said that all the men had them, and if I "stepped out of line" it would be over for me,
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so I'd better listen up and obey the rules. The doctors played tricks on me while I was drugged. They
played day and time tricks trying to mess me up. They told me over and over that someone other than
the person who really brought me there did. Most of the time I knew it was Dick Hof. They told me this
astronaut brought me and a man in an astronaut suit would walk in and say, "I am the adult who brought
you here."
I'd say, "No you're not, my neighbor did." So they would inject me with more drugs and keep
hammering verbally at me over and over until I'd break and agree wholeheartedly with them. But inside
I had to remember to keep the truth hidden in a part of me, so I'd not lose control of reality and believe
their lies. Sometimes I felt like I shattered and went over the edge and couldn't really tell what was
happening. At those moments I'd pray to God that another part of me was remembering what was really
happening because I couldn't maintain myself any longer. After they were through with me I was so
messed up that I needed their help getting off the table and then to walk, and the next week I'd have to
stay home from school because I was throwing up and very sick. My mom said I just had "the flu." All
this torture and mind manipulation kept my inner and outer worlds far apart.
There was a cabinet way up high in our kitchen and Dick Hof told me that I could be like a
monkey and climb up there to get the little white candy pills that would make me feel better, but I
couldn't tell my mommy because he said she wasn't really my mommy because she was born of lower
class and he said I was upper class, like my father. He said my mom didn't know enough to help me, so if
I hurt I could climb up and get the pills and eat them and feel better.
There was another military base I was taken to when I was about five. A doctor in a white lab coat
examined me there. He questioned me a lot in order to check all my "systems." As you can see, this
abuse was very intentional and very premeditated, with long-range plans and goals.
The Network of Abuse Widens
The trauma was ubiquitous and involved all the people who were close to me, and others who
were strangers. Threats of consequences if I remembered or told, made during times of extreme trauma,
were buried deep in my subconscious mind and dictated my actions daily. Huge amounts of my own
subconscious vital energies were used to keep my personalities in control and to keep secret the activities
in which I was involved.
By the age of four, I was taken to my father's friend, Andy the policeman, where I was instructed
to perform oral sex on Andy, in exchange for a courtesy card my father proudly carried in his wallet that
pardoned him from any violation he might acquire, should he ever be stopped by a police officer. At a
very young age, I was subconsciously aware that everyone was in on these activities and that policemen
wouldn't even protect me, but that knowledge was kept from my conscious awareness because I believed
the reality, as my programming commanded, that I had a perfect life.
When I was less than five years old, my father took me to Long Beach for what my mother was
told was a visit to my father's Aunt Maude. We did go to visit Aunt Maude, but really we were there to
meet with Uncle Charlie. Uncle Charlie was very distinguished looking and wore very formal clothes,
even though this was just a family gathering. At this young age, although I sensed this was a very
important event, I had no way of knowing how pivotal this meeting would factor into the design of my
life. In a complete nightmarish horror, I watched as my grown father looked retarded and became very
childlike when this relative, Charles Lilley Horn, spoke to him. And when the talk turned to subjects I
could not fathom, and Uncle Charlie held out a paper for my father to sign, I pulled on my father's hand
and begged him, "Daddy, stay big, this is really important, please Daddy." But due to my father's own
early childhood abuse, he could not maintain his adult mental state because he, too, had Multiple
51
Personality Disorder, with many wounded, fragmented, hurt children inside of him whose
consciousness had also been programmed for use by others. And so, when Uncle Charlie asked him to
sign the paper, he reached out robotically, and without thought, signed it. Somehow I knew that this
event was a very important moment when I needed my father to pull himself together to protect me. But
he was not able to, due to his own dysfunctional state of mind.
Uncle Charlie further directed my father where to take me for the early programming that
involved machines and told him about the arrangement with Bob Hope and the connection to the
government. My father continued to look retarded and just kept robotically shaking his head, nodding in
agreement, while Charlie told him what to do.
Slave Auctions
Elitists in the market for mind control slaves attend auctions that appear at first like children's
fashion shows and then progress to striptease acts. I made "appearances" in many shows before I was
actually sponsored or sold.
My father took me to a slave "model" auction where I wore a fancy white taffeta and black velvet
polka-dot dress, a hat and matching purse that my mother had bought for me at the expensive
Stardusters clothing store.
Bob Hope
At this particular show where Bob Hope bought me, there were lots and lots of little girls and boys
competing. They said these children were what they called "sponsored" if they were chosen. And they
said it was better to be chosen early because then the sponsors (owners) could mold you the way they
wanted. There was a modeling ramp where all of us children were displayed. I modeled casual clothes,
then sophisticated evening clothes, and then sensual/sexual attire and, finally, appeared totally naked.
First I performed Swan Lake Ballet in pink feathers for my casual and wore black velvet for my formal
and my naked performance was called "the tiger dance." I won first place at this show and was sold to
Bob Hope on the open market. They put a white cape around my naked body and Bob came up and
stood with me while everyone in the audience cheered. Somehow it seemed like a sport for some of these
people to attend auctions. Then I was seated again next to my father. When the whole show was over,
an older man dressed in a tuxedo came and escorted me to Bob Hope who shook my hand and said, "Hi
ya, Honey. Do you know who I am?"
"Yes, Mr. Hope." I answered like I had been instructed.
"I'm going to be your man, but we'll have to talk more about this later ... when you're a little
older." He laughed.
I smiled at him and said, "Thank you, Mr. Hope. My father will be very proud." But my father
never came over to meet Bob. He stayed in his chair until the man in the tux ushered me back to him.
Throughout my formative years, I was molded to be extremely sexual through the sexual abuse
with my father and others. The personalities that were created from that abuse didn't always experience
the encounters as abusive, because that is all they knew. Bob later told my father through an instilled
message delivered through me during an incestual encounter with my father, "Daddy, Bob says he wants
me to really love sex and have a lot of it. Okay?"
"Sure honey, whatever you want. You're the boss," my father answered from his own split
consciousness.
Bob was Catholic and so was the part of me that performed. She was my "inner twin sister" for
programming purposes, to keep that part of me separate from my created "normal" reality and her name
was Sharon. Bob said he liked Catholic girls because they were easy and he liked "em like that."
Bob was always racy until he got to acting old around 1987. I had a lifetime of Bob Hope and his
antics, and over the years, he lost his funny and happy persona and became just a mean and nasty old
man. And then, he became cruel to me, there wasn't anything fun left in him. He was just real old and
mean.
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Uncle Charlie
Consciously unbeknownst to my parents, I was in contact when necessary with my "Uncle
Charlie." He escorted me to many affairs when I was a child, even in Europe. Often they were arenas
where the mind control elitists gathered to share their latest creations. At these gatherings, I walked out
on a ramp on Uncle Charlie's arm. I was the "latest in human technology," and all the "uncles" were
there to display their "wares." It was a fashion show of sorts for what they called "children attendants."
Men in the audience held little placards and they held up certain numbers for different things. I think
they were like judges. I don't think they wanted to buy me because someone else already had. While I
was presenting, a man announced I had already been sold to, "...a very funny man they say, called Bob
Hope. Do you know him?" And everyone in the audience laughed.
When I asked Uncle Charlie why those people were there and what we were doing there, he said,
"This is a show for Cadillacs and you my dear," he took a hold of my chin, "are my Cadillac."
"I am? What is that?" I asked very enthusiastically, straightening my blue satin dress and pushing
on the skirt that kept popping up on the other side due to the hoop around the bottom.
"A car," he answered. When I kept asking questions he said that big word others also used to
describe me, "My, you are precocious, aren't you? Well it's time for you to run along now," at which
point another man in a suit took my hand and led me away.
Later that day when we were alone, Uncle Charlie very secretly and with great import informed
me that he was my real father and that my dad wasn't my real father, but had adopted me for some very
specific purposes. He said it was my destiny, but I didn't know what that word meant either, and didn't
ask because I was still pretty upset about my dad not really being my dad. Uncle Charlie said he had the
money to take care of me in the ways I deserved and that my father never would have the money to do
what he was going to be able to do for me. I didn't understand what this all meant then but he made it
sound good. (Forty some years later through my constant search to piece together the actualities of my
life, I would discover that Charles L. Horn was the owner of Federal Cartridge Company, which later
funded Olin Foundation, where he sat as President.)
When I asked Uncle Charlie who my mother was he just nodded quickly and said, "You don't have
one, it doesn't matter." He seemed busy like I was bothering him by interrupting his thoughts or
something. I guess he didn't understand the needs of a child my age. So I went ahead and made up my
own imaginary mother. I created her to be sort of plump and happy and she made great apple pies and
cookies and all sorts of candies that we ate anytime we wanted. She was 'the perfect mother' for
"Sharon."
So as I understood it from the other side of my personality structure, Charles L. Horn was
Sharon's -- my inner twin sister's -- father. Uncle Charlie said he wanted me to call him Uncle Charlie
instead of dad because he had "... some very important business contacts that just wouldn't understand if
you called me father, so call me Uncle Charlie." Often he introduced me to people as his niece, Sharon
Weatherby. Sharon, the wild personality, is who Bob Hope purchased from Uncle Charlie and it was
Sharon who was trained to be stunning, smart, sexual, comfortable with wealth and elite family
members. Uncle Charlie, who lived in Minneapolis in the summers and Scottsdale in the winters, said he
loved me but couldn't spend a lot of time with me because of business, though he would be a powerful
part of my life.
Uncle Charlie physically introduced me to Henry Kissinger one day in an open grassy park-like
area when I was very little. I shook Henry's hand and Uncle Charlie explained that Henry was my "Uncle
Henry." So I, as Sharon Weatherby, began to have a whole new family and it just kept growing and
growing, adding "uncles" here and there and everywhere.
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Henry Kissinger
When I was little, with a short pixie haircut, Henry Kissinger would call me on the phone at home.
In those days, those personalities who were created by and for him thought he was funny. He set up
times of connection by telling me beforehand, "meet me on the comer at 7:00 p.m." and that meant to be
standing at the direct corner of the kitchen cabinet desk at home at 7:00 p.m. to answer the phone. So
I'd stand there when it was 7:00 p.m. and when he called I'd pick up the phone real fast like he had
instructed me to do. Henry, who communicated to me as "Susan" rather than "Sharon," then said,
"Hello Susan, how are you this evening? I am just testing."
"Oh, hi," I said as I smiled and twisted my short hair.
"You can hang up now, I was just testing." So, I hung up and went off to play in my room. Henry
was in contact with me often. I think he had studied lots of psychology so he knew how to best control
me. He used positive psychological means because he said he felt it would work better.
My mom said, "Who were you talking to?" She had on her red Christmas dress and her slippers.
Her hair was still brown.
I shrugged and said, "No one," because due to the programming I was already under, my normal
everyday conscious personality didn't house the phone experience with Henry Kissinger. I wasn't lying,
the event was registered under a different personality than the one that interfaced with my mother.
Henry could call anytime and 'get me.' When I saw him in person he always said right off, in a silly
teasing voice as he reached out and tickled me, "I'm gonna get you." Which switched me to the
personality he wanted and in that way he accessed, or "got me."
Henry set up a group of personalities to be my neighbor's, "Joe's and Mary's child." He told
people it was an experiment he was performing to see if one person could be brought up in two ways
from two different perspectives to see how the physical/genetic influences really did work since both
personalities' mindsets shared the same physical body and genetic structure. It was a controlled
experiment about the role environment and behavior versus genetics played in IQ. They wanted to see
how strong the mind could be - if it was the overriding factor. They were trying to see if thinking you
were elite and being brought up elite would increase IQ or if a common child would have the same IQ if
not stimulated as much. Susan was the common experience part of the experiment, the control; and
Sharon, the inner twin personality counterpart, was the elite. More on this twin programming in the
next chapter
I was instructed by Henry Kissinger to eat alphabet cereal on certain mornings and do mental
exercises that he gave me. For instance, I had to get the alphabet sorted from the box and all lined up on
the kitchen table. Then I had to put a piece of cereal that was shaped into an 'a' on my tongue and then
hold up a mirror and look at it in the mirror. I had to do 20 of the alphabet backwards and 20 of the
alphabet forward while I was looking in the mirror. It was usually only 20 because often some letters
were missing from the cereal box, so Henry said to just do 20. I don't know why I had to put them on my
tongue and then stick my tongue out with the letter on it and look in the mirror, but I did it just like
Henry said. My mother got mad at me because she said I should eat my food not play with it, but she
didn't understand my need for training. Henry said she was uneducated and ignorant, and that he was
making me into a genius. I didn't know what that meant. Other times, I had to focus my eyes on a pin
that was stuck into the top of a pencil eraser and follow it back and forth and up and down. And I
learned to cross one eye. leaving my left eye looking straight ahead. All this was done in preparation for
my later use as Henry's 'mind file'.
Further Condition
Following instructions, my mother took me to "meetings" at a church lady's home who lived
behind our church. The purpose of these meetings was to instruct my mother how to "train me." She
54
was given instructions on forms of punishments and abuses to give me at home if I didn't do what was
"prescribed." Those punishments included being locked in a dark closet for long periods of time, having
food withheld sometimes for a day or two, being slapped across the face or burned by a cigarette if I
resisted any of the rules. Often I was abused in these ways, as my mother carried out her own
programmed instructions, in spite of my "good behavior."
I was taught to write backwards at the age of four because my programmers felt that I would be
more intelligent if I was forced to use both sides of my brain. In addition, I was given special eye
exercises to perform several times a day. I began ballet at five and endured years of ballet training from
a perverted ballet teacher named Madame Olga. Episodes of sex rituals and traumas were laced into our
dance classes. At times the entire ballet class was abused out behind her little dance school that was
located just off Topanga Canyon Boulevard in Woodland Hills.
My dentists, the Phillips brothers, had a dental office also located on Topanga Canyon Boulevard,
around the corner from my ballet school. Acting independently of the church, but being friends of my
father, they participated in my "preparation" by torturing me with sharp dental instruments by drilling
my teeth and poking exposed nerves without the use of Novocain. Who could have known then that,
when I grew up and married, my "chosen" husband would be first "in line" to purchase these successful
dental practices, which is just what happened.
After I started kindergarten, my mother informed me that a group of people from the First Baptist
Church were going to leave the church and form a new church called the First Presbyterian Church of
Woodland Hills. In the beginning days, the church met at my elementary school, while we waited for our
new church to be built on Platt Avenue. Our new minister's name was Rev. Alden McKelvey, and
nothing seemed to change much, except the minister had a different name, we had a bigger building, and
now more people were involved.
School was somewhat of a respite, but even there I was not always free from abuse. Starting in
first grade, I was taken out of my class at Woodlake Avenue Elementary School (located a mile from the
church), to attend 'choir practice' at the children's choir director's home a block from school. Her name
was Mrs. Rebecca Muir. At her home, in conjunction with practicing church songs for performances at
Sunday church services, I was trained to perform and participate in rituals and was forced to participate
in child pornography films when a group of men entered her house and took over. Snuff pornography
where little children or babies were killed was also filmed at her house. Like the other women involved,
Mrs. Muir, publicly, a meek, gentle woman, dutifully complied with the direction of these men.
One day just after returning to school from Mrs. Muir's house, I went straight to the principal's
office. Her name was Mrs. Stella Greer. For some unknown reason, the threats of death if I told were
not consciously available to keep me silenced and switched out of the personality who had just witnessed
the pornography, and I told her everything I had been forced to do at choir practice. I had seen Mrs.
Greer talk sternly to us kids at assemblies and just knew that she was a person of great power who would
be able to stop the bad people from hurting all of us children. But, her response was enough to reinforce
everything my abusers had threatened over my young years. I will never forget it. Mrs. Greer's face
turned red with anger as she wrathfully shook her finger at me, sternly warning in no uncertain terms,
"Young lady, I don't ever want to hear such filth out of your mouth again. You stop making up these
horror stories and get back into your classroom where you belong!"
At that moment, I realized that what my abusers said was true. No one would help me. People
would think I was crazy if I did tell, and I had "no where to run, and no where to hide." I couldn't survive
without them and there was no one to help, just like they said. I was trapped. Why this adult woman,
my school principal, was unable to logically question how a child of my young age could be privy to or
know such adult and pornographic language, never seemed to cross her mind.
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Our pediatrician, Dr. Cusack, located on Ventura Boulevard in Woodland Hills, participated by
suturing up my vagina when it was torn from abuse, and cared for me in other ways when the abuse
became too physically obvious. When I requested my childhood medical records several years ago, I was
told that Dr. Cusack had moved out of the state and that all of his records had been destroyed.
At home in the evenings, while my mother was picking up my grandmother from work at
Lockheed in Santa Monica, and in the middle of the night, my father continued his own form of tortures;
raping me, sodomizing me, filming me pornographically with my brother, submerging me in the bathtub
or swimming pool until I was nearly dead, torturing me extensively at his welding shop with the use of
electroshock delivered through hot welding equipment inserted into my vagina, and leaving me outside
all night alone during rain storms. He also kept dead bodies under our home for his sick perversions.
He tortured and "trained" me under the house lots of nights before dinner, and would lock me into boxes
and leave me there for long periods of time, often with body parts from cadavers he kept. One night he
took me to a graveyard and forced me to watch as he dug up a coffin, opened it, forced me inside and
reburied it. I split off more personalities. One personality split wasn't enough to handle this trauma.
One Saturday my father took me and one of my dolls out to the old refrigerator that was in the
corner of our garage. Quickly, he shoved me inside and clutching my blond baby doll, I begged,
frantically clinging to my father's shirt, "No Daddy! Please don't."
Slapping my hands away, my father scolded, "Now, show Daddy what a big girl you can be. If you
try to get out," he knelt down beside me, "Daddy will have to beat you." He slammed the door shut and I
could hear him taping it closed with the black electrical tape he used on endless mechanical things.
When I cried out from inside the cold refrigerator, my father angrily pounded on the door, yelling for me
to shut up.
Petrified in the dark, cramped cubicle, I listened for any sound that might indicate that my father
was opening the door to set me free. Ominous silence prevailed. Feeling unbearably cold and unable to
take another breath, I experienced the intervention of three ethereal beings, transparent yet sparkly,
misty-blue colored angels who suddenly materialized outside the refrigerator and appeared to reach
through the insulated metal to infuse me with life-sustaining energy. In a transcendent state, it was as if
I was held in suspended animation as these angels lent their life energy to me.
Some time later, when my father came to release me, probably thinking that, like all the other
times he had taken me near death, I would emerge fragmented yet grateful to him for saving me, he
checked the pulse on my neck, and finding none, he panicked. He carried my limp body across the
garage and laid me on his workbench. "Now I've done it, damn it," I heard my father say to himself from
my out-of-body vantage point. "I've gone too far and killed her, now what am I going to do?" Quickly he
slid my lifeless body into a black plastic trash bag, tied it off, carried me out the side door, and placed me
in the crawl space beneath the house.
The rescuing angels reappeared and one telepathically communicated that it wasn't time for me to
leave my family, that I needed to get back into my body and go on up for dinner. Unbeknownst to my
father, I still had a spark of life left in me, and God, knowing His plan for my life was not yet complete,
fanned that spark until I came back to life. When I reunited with my body, it ached and I felt
nightmarishly sick but crawled out of the bag, wobbled out of the crawl space and walked in a dissociated
state, back into the house where my family sat eating dinner. My father looked up at me as if he had seen
a ghost and my mother, unaware of any of the "incidences" of the day, smiled and told me to sit down to
eat.
The trauma and torture was endless, occurring nearly every day and night of my childhood. The
tortures were so numerous that it would require a separate volume to chronicle all those I have
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remembered so far. Leaving my body in order to 'dissociate' from the pain and continuing to create
separate personalities, often alongside personalities my abusers intentionally created for their own use,
was my mind's way of keeping me alive to function in the day-to-day world.
I had two worlds: one secret world that I lived and knew only when I was triggered into it; and a second,
'normal' conscious world of day to day experiences. These worlds were kept separate by the use of
trauma and programming. I was my father's and other people's project for the future. An investment
that provided him access to high-tech hypnotic information, financial security, and most probably
immunity from prosecution for charges involving pedophilia, child prostitution, and child pornography.
"He shall give His Angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their
hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone." -- Psalms 91:11-12
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Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
Chapter Three: We’re Off to See the Wizard
Common Mind Control Themes
Hand signals are a common mode of control for victims of ritual abuse and mind control. There
was a hand signal program I was taught when I was very little, that was sung to the song Frere Jacques,
with the nursery rhyme, Where Is Pointer? The common song/game is played by singing; "Where is
Pointer? Where is pointer?" And then you put up your pointer finger and say, "Here I am, Here I am.
How are you, today sir? Very well, I thank you ...run away, run away..." Then you put your hands behind
your back. I was taught the version:
"Where is silencer?" With a finger held up to the lips commanding silence.
"Where is kingpin?" With large pin inside the middle finger, that I was poked with just before
singing, "run away, run away."
"Where is little man?" Holding up a pinky finger while singing, "Little man can't run away."
"Where is thumbkin?" Holding up a thumb and being thumped on the head while singing, "You
can't run away."
Wizard of Oz
In conjunction with the traumas at church and school, my father reinforced my programming
with the use of fairy tales, among them Disney themes and The Wizard of Oz. I watched the Wizard of Oz
every year and at other times my programmers laced in other programs and hypnotic commands in a
creative way that allowed the movie themes to keep me under control. Although I could not consciously
remember what I was programmed to forget, this use of fantasy, used in an effort to keep amnestic and
to scramble what I had actually participated in, was very effective ...almost foolproof.
Sometimes in the middle of the night, after having watched the Wizard of Oz, my father would
traumatize me in order to cause me to dissociate, which created the perfect trance state for
programming. In this altered state, he would tell me that "over the rainbow" was a bridge to the "other"
world, and that I could walk over the rainbow bridge into the other world and it would remain separate
from my everyday world. He told me that what happened over the rainbow would feel unreal, like a
dream. After encounters that I was supposed to forget, I was conditioned to the word "home." It began
with "There's no place like home" being associated with being back in my bed, sleeping, after a night of
being used in child pornography or prostitution.
Later my mother, father, or others would say these words after my use in Washington, D.C. in the
White House or other places I was sent under program. For years these words functioned as a way to
reorient me back into my everyday world, without carrying back with me the reality of what had
happened. I was instructed to, "sleep and wake up at home in my bed with the Land of Oz so very far
away. That place that felt like a fairy tale ...that I must have made up ...was only a dream ...was now very
far away." I was now on the other side of the rainbow and was conditioned to believe that those
experiences never really happened, that they were only a dream. Later in my teen years all it took was for
my mother or father to say, "Honey, you can sleep all the way home," and I was conditioned like Pavlov's
dogs to respond to the word "home" with total and complete amnesia of what had just happened to me.
If my subconscious mind threatened to divulge the secrets, my father programmed me to "wake
and eat chocolate chip cookies to remember to forget." And for years, the next 40 years, as this powerful
programming commanded, I awoke out of a sound sleep if memory of this secret world seeped up as I
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entered first theta and then delta brain wave sleep patterns. Following program, I robotically walked
into the kitchen to eat chocolate chip cookies in order to "re-mind" myself.
Another Oz theme that was used to program me was the song, "If I Only Had A Brain." During a
programming session, a man whispered in my ear, telling me, "It's safer not to have a brain, it's easier
not to have a brain; all you have to do to stay on track is to follow the yellow brick road. Then you won't
be scared like the cowardly lion and you can keep your heart which you will need to get you down the
yellow brick road to the land of glitter and gold, glitter and gold, glitter and gold. Follow the yellow brick
road to somewhere over the rainbow way up high." In my trance state, this verse went deeply into my
subconscious mind and was an evervigilant internal reference to remind me to forget, and could be
enforced by any of my controllers when the need arose to keep me from unlocking repressed memory.
Alice in Wonderland was used as a theme to program in 'time awareness.' My programmers said,
"See the rabbit who says, 'watch the watch, watch the watch,' and feel your eyes grow sleepy and tired so
you can no longer watch the watch but you know it is always there ticking away, keeping perfect time. It
knows what time it is so you won't ever have to worry about what time it is for the watch will keep perfect
time. And now at the count of three I want you to wake up ...1, 2, 3..." he snapped his fingers, "and
awake. Good girl!"
There were other programs based on fairy tales and Disney themes. Other survivors around the
world have also reported many of these same common themes.
Disneyland
When I was five years old my mother and father took me to the newly-opened Disneyland in
Anaheim, California. As we walked down Main Street, we ran into Walt Disney and my father stood aside
as Walt Disney, larger than life to me, bent down and shook my hand. He told me that if I would write to
him he would write back to me. I didn't consciously remember anything else after that. What happened
next, though, as I later recalled, was that Walt Disney looked at my father with eyes that said important
things I couldn't understand. My father then led my mother in the other direction and I was left alone
with Walt Disney. My parents never said goodbye or anything, they just left me and walked away. I was
terrified and confused at realizing that my parents just disappeared. Walt took me to an office, lifted me
up on a big desk that had a glass piece on top and told me that he was my real father. He said the Mickey
Mouse Club was my real family--where I really belonged. Everyone was always telling me I belonged to a
different family than my parents and I didn't understand, it was all very confusing. Walt Disney seemed
nice but I wasn't with him very long. He called another man in and that man took me by the hand and
led me away. This man was a very bad man and he really scared me. He took me into another room and
gave me those viewmaster box glasses to look into. He showed me pictures in them that were so scary
that other parts of me had to come to see them. It was too much for a little girl to see. Dead things--cut
up bodies, dead cats skinned with big eyeballs and their tails cut off, people cut up, etc. We had that toy
at home but mine had cartoon pictures in it. This event involved several of my personalities.
Next, the man took me to scary rides and poked me with needles in my waist and legs while he
said things during the Alice in Wonderland ride, like, "This is not really happening. I am not really
sticking this needle in your leg. You are just like Alice. You also ate the large mushroom and feel funny--
this is not real." He kept laughing and acting like all this was fun and games and really amusing, but it
was terrifying and confusing to me, and I couldn't understand why he was hurting me. Parts of me split
off as they withstood the abuse and I pushed the experiences deep into my subconscious mind as my
programming dictated.
Then the man took me to Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and sexually abused me by taking off my panties
and pushing me up and down on top of his penis while we were going through the dark, enclosed ride.
During many years that followed, I got hurt on Mr. Toad's ride. I was instructed to be extra sexy and wild
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and crazy in order to be "good" and not get hurt. If I did it right and performed on cue, then I didn't
get hurt when it was over. When we came out into the light from the darkened ride, it was over and if I
did it right I could stop and go back to my Mommy. If I did it wrong, I had to do it all over again until I
did it right. They always hurt me real bad if I made a mistake. I tried my best. It seemed like I had to stay
at Disneyland for a long time, but at the end of the long day, I got to have a pretty balloon that I looked at
as I laid in the back seat of the car all the way home. I was devastated, exhausted and out of it during the
ride back to Woodland Hills, but looked up at the pretty Mickey Mouse ears balloon or the Mickey Mouse
balloon within a balloon, before I finally fell into a long deep sleep.
We went to Disneyland yearly, often for birthday celebrations. On another visit, a suited man
escorted me to the front of the Snow White ride. As he guided me on board the boat, he flashed a badge
to the attendant and explained that he had special permission to take this special guest on the ride. We
entered a boat and rode through the canals while he refrained the fairy tale themes. As we passed them
by, he stuck needles in my thighs at different times after he finished a line about a story. All the classic
fairy tales drifted in front of us--the Three Pigs and the Big Bad Wolf. He told me that the big bad wolf
could always find me and get me, even if I was in the well-built brick house, and that the wolf could huff
and puff and blow my house down. He told me my parents couldn't protect me from the wolf either
because he was big and bad and wild. I can still hear the Big Bad Wolf song playing. The man kept
poking me with the needle and it hurt. I kept watching his hand with the needle trying to anticipate the
pain and he kept telling me the scary stories. I didn't know what to do and couldn't get away because we
were in a boat and I couldn't get off. Then he almost choked me to death in the front of the boat but kept
talking and telling me the fairy tales, as if nothing had ever happened. I was terrified.
Later on, in the dark of the night a man in a suit took me on the Matterhorn and stopped the
rollercoaster ride at the waterfall where he told me everything that happened was washed away and gone
forever. He made me get off the ride and stand on the rocks high up inside the Matterhorn all alone in
the dark that night. I was really tired. He said they were leaving me there alone because I didn't do it
right and I didn't listen well. I was terrified in the dark, wet, rocky area that was whooshing with the
sound of the wind and cars from the ride speeding by. But it got even scarier when the area fell silent.
Cold and tired, I was left totally alone for what seemed to my child self like forever. When the man finally
came to get me, he asked if I was ready to be good. Then he said a lot of words while he carried me to my
parents. Handing me, all limp and wet, over to my mother, he said, "She's asleep." My mother was
crying, my father was smiling and the man in the suit said, "It's been done, she's now ready for the next
level."
My father carried me out of Disneyland but stopped to buy me a Mickey Mouse balloon to look at,
to, as he said, "remember the good time you had." Disneyland was never really fun; there was always
pain and torture.
Another night at Disneyland I climbed the steps to the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House. Once
inside one of the rooms a man grabbed me, slapped my face really hard and flashed a bright light in my
eyes. He said, "Your mother is not your real mother, your father is not your real father. You are made of
much greater things, so great in fact that Walt Disney would claim you for his own. So remember what
I've said about who your real parents are." When he was finished with me I climbed down from the
treehouse, sobbing hysterically with each and every step. My mother was waiting for me at the bottom
and took me over to the Fritos snack stand to try to get me calmed down.
It's A Small World ride was purposefully used to create the reality in my mind that I was really
just on a ride at Disneyland when later I was taken to foreign countries for use. The programming that
blossomed up into my conscious mind after such travel was that I was merely at Disneyland. One day my
father accompanied me into the international phone display. I picked up many of the colored phones and
listened to the different languages and my mom stood close by while my father appeared to walk away.
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But my father really hid behind the phone display and talked like he was sending a message through
the phone. Initially, I thought it was someone else talking to me through the phone, someone who
mysteriously knew my name. When I caught on that it was my father, I knew better than to let on and
continued with the charade. Soon a man in a Disney uniform came and linked arm in arm with me like
the characters do in the Wizard of Oz, and escorted me over to the main headquarters near the dog
kennels.
On another trip, I was taken on the Jungleboat ride at Disneyland at night. It was very dark and I
noticed that no one was in line as my parents guided me through the area where people normally waited
to enter the ride. We were all alone and I was terrified, anticipating what was to occur next. I had learned
early on, and knew at a very deep subconscious level that my parents were of no protection to me;
instead they were often the very ones that delivered me to very terrifying people, experiences and places.
This night was no different. I was taken to the very back of the boat and a man in a dark suit emerged,
and said, "I will take it from here," at which point my father took my mother by the elbow and escorted
her robotically away. I was afraid.
"Laura," the man called out. Laura was my school personality who was programmed to be
cooperative and helpful. He said, "Laura, I need your help so that things run very smoothly tonight."
"Yes, sir." I replied, now switched to Laura.
"I want you to turn around 7 times and I will be tying a rope around your waist so we don't lose
you here tonight."
I couldn't imagine how I was about to get lost on this big boat, but I complied as he tied the rope
around my waist and as commanded, I began turning as he counted, "One, two, buckle my shoe, no,
three, four, shut the door. The door to your mind, that is, five, six, pick up sticks, and ...seven will do the
trick." I didn't know what the trick was but I was soon to find out. "Here, now you just sit down right
here," as he pointed to a place at the back of the boat, while he held onto me with the rope like I was a
dog on a leash. Before I knew exactly what was happening he lifted me up and plunged me into that cold,
dark water. As I hit the water, I was sure that the alligators that I'd seen earlier that day on the Jungle
Cruise were going to get me and eat me alive in the dark. The boat was going and I was being dragged
behind it. I held onto the rope so that I could stay facing forward. Reminding me of the Wizard of Oz
programming theme, the man yelled, "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my." Then pointing into the dark
water near me, he tapped into the Peter Pan theme I was also programmed with as he anxiously warned,
"I believe there's an alligator there on your left, no I mean on your right, right there behind you, he's
swimming right up behind you on your other left." I was frantically panicked; and in an attempt to make
it all go away I squeezed my eyes as tightly shut as I could, and held onto the rope for dear life.
"You're a very strong little girl," he called out, "just like your father told me you were. You know,
the survival of the fittest." Then he began to reel me back in and lifted me up by the rope as I climbed
over the railing to get back on the boat. "You passed that test with flying colors! Your father said that this
test would be easy for you."
I felt numb and my teeth were chattering from the cold. My dress was all wet and so were my
shoes and socks and panties. I was freezing. My father always did talk to me about the 'survival of the
fittest' and how I would be strong.
"You could fly like Tinkerbell does, across the sky at night attached to this rope like you are.
Should I leave it on so that you can fly with Tinkerbell tonight, high up in the sky?"
"No, sir," I replied looking down at the rope and shivering.
He laughed real loudly. "You know that you fly with her every time you see her fly; you fly high,
high away from all the things you think you remember here, but none of those things really happen; they
are all just figments of your imagination. Do you know what figments are?"
I shook my head no.
"Figments are fruit that you eat. And you have enjoyed all the rides here tonight and had a lot of
fun and now it is almost time for you to go home. You know, like Mickey says in the song, "Now it's time
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to say good-bye to all our company, M. 1. C. K. E. Y. M. O. U. S. E.; you know the song on TV, the one
that you hear when you watch the Mickey Mouse Club?
"Yes," I said, now in total hypnotic, robotical program.
"When you see Tinkerbell and all the beautiful fireworks here tonight, you will remember the
good and only the good things that happened here today and tonight. All the good will float up into your
conscious mind just like Tinkerbell flies high in the sky, so will all the good things [that happened] fly
high up into your conscious mind. You have had the best day here at Disneyland and want to return as
soon as you can for more fun."
In a complete hysterical panic, my mother rushed up and threw her arms around me as if she was
rescuing me. She threw some sort of dark cloth over me, and she and my father took me off the boat. She
took me into a bathroom to change clothes near the Jungleboat ride. My mother ushered me into a stall
and began changing my clothes without closing the door behind us. I was embarrassed. A lady came into
the restroom and my mom said to her, "My daughter fell into the water and we are changing her clothes."
No wonder it has been difficult, at times, for me to trust my own awareness, even as an adult.
One night, my programmers decided I was to actually replace the real Tinkerbell in flight over the
park at night in the dark. The men in park uniforms walked up behind the real Tinkerbell who was
actually an older lady and this night she was in costume, ready to fly. The men told her to step aside, that
I was going to fly that night. I didn't know where my mom and dad went and I was cold and scared. The
woman was very angry. She wanted to do her job and yelled at the men but they told her just to relax,
that she would still get paid and that no one would have to know she didn't fly and she could go home
early and still collect her paycheck. Still angry she left and the men dressed me in a white Tinkerbell
costume and strapped me into the flight harness. After I was secured, a man asked me if I was ready. He
showed me where to hold onto the front straps so I wouldn't get my hands or arms ripped off while I was
flying high above the Magic Kingdom. The whole experience was terrifying. They must have given me a
drug because everything appeared to be in lots of pictures like a camera with a whole circle of lenses of
the same picture, like a kaleidoscope. As I flew, I felt afraid that I would fall out and splat below on
everyone, but after a little while I became numb. I could no longer think or feel. I must have fainted
because when I got to the other end of the sky ride, a few men removed the harness and tried to get me to
come to. One man slapped me but that didn't even wake me up, then someone else put smelling salts
under my nose and I woke up. I don't remember much else except I couldn't walk very well and had to be
carried out of Disneyland. That night there were no stops on Main Street to get toys or a balloon or
candy. I felt sick and laid in the back of our old Buick until we got home. My brothers didn't go with us, it
was just my mom and dad and me. My father said I was the 'star' of the family. I didn't like being the star
if that's how it was, but he seemed very excited about it.
Twin Sister Programming
My neighbors, my "second mother" Mary and her daughter Peggy, took me to a Hollywood theatre
to watch The Parent Trap, a 1961 Disney Movie starring Hayley Mills. The theme of this movie helped to
shape the reality of my inner "twin sister," Sharon. I was Susan and my twin sister was Sharon. This
Sharon personality was created in an attempt to further split my mind and was anchored within my
personality structure in order to house a vast reservoir of experiences with the elite. Sharon was to
identify herself with "high society."
Now of course, my inner twin sister Sharon also had to have programming experiences at
Disneyland. To accomplish that our neighbor Mary took me to Disneyland with her daughter Peggy, who
was my age. At one point we visited the beautiful Magic Castle that is located in the middle of the Magic
Kingdom. As I walked through the Castle, exploring the area, I rounded a corner and as I stepped into a
darkened area, a man in a black cape that had been hiding in a dark corner of the castle stepped forward
and grabbed me. He put his hand over my mouth so I wouldn't scream and he elbowed me in the
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stomach before he raped me. Then he took me in the direction of the dog kennels in the front of
Disneyland where other bad things happened. Every year, Sharon had to watch the "President Show with
Lincoln" that played in a theatre on Main Street and in order to keep her secret experiences hidden from
her conscious mind, this twin sister part of me also had to be exposed to many of the same kinds of
trauma.
Sharon was created to be Catholic, and Mary and Peggy often took me with them to Catholic mass.
(They didn't know about my connection to Henry Kissinger.) I was taught about Holy Water and
genuflecting and the Stations of the Cross and Confession and Hail Marys and saying the Rosary. Peggy
let me borrow her rosary beads that had a little blue enamel picture of the Blessed Mary on it. I learned
to say, "Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee," over and over again for each bead. We always had
to wear a hat or a scarf. They had a lot of rules you had to follow. Had to get that Holy Water and dab it
on yourself at your Stations of the Cross; forehead, heart then each shoulder, before you genuflected
upon entering the pews. Then we knelt down and said the Rosary for a very long time. With my childlike
consciousness, I thought it was a dumb thing to do and kept asking everyone why we had to say that and
what it would do, but all everyone ever said was that I asked too many questions. During the many times
I attended mass with Mary and Peggy, I silently prayed to the statue of the Blessed Virgin and asked her
to help me, although I was unable to "think" about why I needed help.
Sharon was a "child of the elite" and later on, serviced the elite, such as the Rockefellers. She was
often the sexually-oriented personality when I was used for sex and mind file work. "Sharon" was my
highly sexual counterpart and "Sue" contained the messages in mind files.
To further my split conditioning, there was a small stone building in a cemetery where the men in
suits locked me in for the whole night. They took my clothes away from me, pushed me into the dark
room and closed the door. It was cold on the concrete floor and I could feel spider webs in the corners. It
was scary, so I just sat down on my feet in the corner, hugged my legs to my body and closed my eyes.
After awhile, an angel appeared. She said her name was Maria and that I was being prepared for
the future. She said that she and other angels would help me and I would be "sustained." I didn't know
what that word meant but felt like it was okay because I felt so much love from her. While my spirit self
was sitting next to her on a bench, my physical body was still in that concrete room. She told me she
would be very close to me later when I was older and could understand more. She explained that these
people were unkind because they didn't understand, but that my angel friends loved me very much and
would be there whenever I needed them. All of a sudden, before I was ready to leave her, I was back in
the cold concrete cubicle, still sitting squatted on my feet and she was gone. I felt like I had traveled
somewhere and I wanted to go back there because it didn't hurt and wasn't cold there, but I couldn't
figure out how to get there. I had to wait for the angel to escort me. Everyone was always escorting me
everywhere--on earth and in heaven. When the men came to let me out, it was still dark and they
dropped me off at home. Entering the breezeway, I went through the back door, into my room and went
to sleep.
The Golden Arches
Now of course, in order to insure that Sharon's memory was kept separate from my conscious
mind, trauma had to be induced to create the dissociative barrier. Among other traumas, I was taken to
St. Mel's Catholic Church in Woodland Hills and was molested by a short fat "Father," at the back of the
church in a side room. This priest who spoke with an Irish accent and smelled like alcohol, pulled my
hair while he sexually satisfied himself in my mouth. When he was finished with me, two men in suits
escorted me to an awaiting limousine. I had short hair and wore a felt poodle skirt, flats, white socks and
a white blouse. It wasn't unusual to see limousines lined up in front of this large Catholic church for use
at funerals or weddings. It was nearing dark and once out of sight of the public, these men were very
rough with me. They threw me into the back seat and once inside the limo I laid on the seat in a fetal
position, rocking myself, terrified out of my mind.
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Arriving at the new McDonald's, one man told me, "Look at the Golden Arches, they are your
Highway to Heaven. Whenever you enter to cross over, you won't remember having been here." I went in
as Sue and after I was drugged I came out as Sharon. I had no awareness that Sharon was me. In my
internal, subconsciously created reality, I believed Sharon to be my physically separate, twin sister, but
consciously I had no knowledge of any other part of me except Sue. All I knew was there were lots of
times when I was told that I would be allowed to see my twin sister, my secret twin sister. I felt sad. I
missed her desperately and I felt that she was always in danger and needed me. The man who was
present to create this part of my programming was a very affluent and locally well-known and respected
Catholic OB/GYN doctor, named Dr. McGinnis. He told me that I could find my twin sister in the
bathroom, so I ran there to find Sharon. The doctor and another man followed me as I ran into the small
one room bathroom that I entered from outside McDonald's, in tears desperate to find my twin sister.
Once inside, as directed, I looked around and came out and told the doctor that he could come inside,
that there was no one else there. I felt very robotic. Entering the small bathroom with me, he locked the
door behind us and told me to sit on the floor in the corner of the stall. I did as he instructed. He took my
arm and put it up on the toilet lid, slipped a rubber cuff around my arm and got a big needle out. As he
injected the drug into my arm he commanded, "count backwards from three."
"One..." I started.
"NO!" The doctor yelled angrily. "I said backwards, starting from three."
"Three, two," I slumped over and passed out.
He began slapping my face and I couldn't wake up but he called out, "Sharon, Sharon, Sharon."
Finally after lots of slapping, Sharon said, "Yes."
"Get up and walk out to the car." The doctor commanded. Sharon obeyed.
He carried his black doctor's bag and we took off as soon as he got into the limo. I overheard him
say to the driver that if he ever got caught he would just take his black bag and say he was on an
emergency, that way no one would ever question him.
We drove down Ventura Boulevard to a jewelry store. The doctor and I went in, myself still
switched to my twin sister Sharon. He told the store owner I was looking for a present for my mother,
but I wasn't really. These people always told lies. He put a diamond bracelet on my arm and said, "You're
used to jewels, remember?"
"Yes," I said, smiling. It was true that Sharon was used to riches.
"That is all you need to remember, that you're used to jewels." As we turned to leave, he called out
to the owner at the other end of the store to say that we were finished shopping.
Next, I was dropped off at a big house somewhere and taken downstairs to be filmed in child
pornography. There were men in leathers and chains with guns. A man ripped my clothes off and
sodomized me while another guy watched as it was filmed. Then I was chained up, whipped and filmed
more. They liked it when I cried out. They said I had to, in order to make a good film, but I really wanted
to be quiet and keep all to myself so it would ruin the film. They put a baby on a wooden table and killed
her while I was being raped and they said her lifeblood was filling me and that I liked taking the baby's
life into me. I didn't really. I didn't want them to hurt the baby, ever. But I had to smile and laugh while
they filmed it or they said I would be killed, also. They made these snuff films often with babies or little
girls. "The younger, the purer," the men said. They believed fetuses were the best to get the purest
untouched lifeblood. They often ingested the flesh afterwards, and sometimes the heart, while it was still
beating. It was terrifying, vile and disgusting. And they fed it to me for the filming. I was always forced to
smile.
After it was all over I was taken by limo back to McDonald's, into the same bathroom where some
man snapped his fingers in front of my face and said, "Susie, you've fainted," which, by calling out that
name, switched me back into my conscious personality. Once revived, these men drove me to my street,
dropped me off and told me to walk the highway to heaven into sleep. In program trance, I walked the
short block home, went through the breezeway into the back door, and climbed into my bed. It was dark
outside but the yellow porch light was on and I knew my way through the house with my eyes closed.
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That night, alone in my bed, I said the prayer I usually said with my mother or my grandmother
each and every night, "Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom His Love commits me here. Ever this
day be at my side. To light and guard, to rule and guide."
I beg of you, dear reader, to be open to the possibility that these sorts of atrocities did happen, and
that they are still happening to other children today, even right now at this very moment. Please open
your heart and know that this could be true so together we can all put a stop to the abuse that terrifies
and threatens to destroy the children.
McDonald's was often a part of my abuse whether I was in California or later away from home
when after use in different states or countries, they took me to "The Golden Arches" and
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gave me coke (later aspartame-infused diet coke with a twist of lemon) and french fries. McDonald's was
a very powerful program for repressing events of national and international usage.
The Foundation is Built
By the tender age of five, 1 was conditioned through torture and high tech hypnotic tect and
electroshock, to hurt myself in many ways should I begin to remember the secret activities, was a part of.
Per programmed suggestion, if I began to remember I would stub my big toe c burn myself on the stove,
thereby removing my focus from the remembered secret experienck and re-routing my attention to my
wound. I was instructed where to cut my wrist in order to take my own life, should I begin to remember
or tell. There were also accident programs instilled t insure my death if I began to remember. Endless
programs were installed int in my life that were available for later use in suppressing my hidden
activities
Over the years, I was told the following while I was being tortured, in an~ you remember, you will
kill yourself; if you tell, people will think you are crazy and will loc you up in a mental institution; if you
don't obey us, we will kill your family or your dog and ca if you tell, we will kill you." I had witnessed
killings for years and knew these were not id threats.
My programmers also created within me, reporting personalities that were instructed to tell on
me in regard to anything I did that was stepping out of line. This common feature of mind control is
reported by many survivors.
"He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless
you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore,
whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
--Matthew 18:2-4
"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven
always see the face of my Father in heaven."
-- Matthew 18:10-11
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Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
Chapter Four: Uncle Charlie, Kissinger, Hope and their Little Puppet.
My Inner Twin Sister, Sharon Weatherby
I was paraded in many circles as a child, as Sharon Weatherby, and sitting on the fringes watching
me was my Uncle Charlie. He told me that he would always be there, rain or shine.
Uncle Charlie was always at my father's Aunt Maude's when we went to visit her, just dad and me.
He would be waiting for us on her little couch with the lace coverlets, the sheer curtain behind holding a
green chameleon lizard that I thought was real until I got older. All decked out in a tan suit, his Dapper
Dan shoes and a carnation in his lapel, Uncle Charlie smiled, shook my hand and winked at me. If he had
on glasses, he would take them off to make sure I caught the wink and that was my cue to keep the
secret. He told me before that it would hurt my father's feelings if he knew he wasn't really my father so I
shouldn't ever mention it. "Otherwise," he said, "it would likely break his heart." I sure didn't want to
hurt my Daddy anymore than he already was with his neck injury, slipped disk and parents who abused
and didn't love him. And he loved me so much, unless he had to hurt me. Uncle Charlie said,
"Unfortunately he has to do that to make you powerful one day." So when I met Uncle Charlie with my
father the first time, I never let on that I knew him. Later Charlie said, "Young lady, that was the finest
acting job I've ever seen. You're hired!"
Well I was "hired" at a very young age, but was never paid a cent. And Uncle Charlie was my
representative, come to take me to meet first, Bob and, soon after, Henry. Sharon was indeed
programmed to be precocious and one day reported the following joke repertoire to Henry and later to
audiences Bob and Henry sent me to:
"I told my owners, it's enough that you clowns expect me to work for free. You
know it was bad enough that they broke the child labor laws and I told them about
that when I learned it in school. They just laughed. But on top of that was
SLAVE LABOR, and I recited the Constitutional Amendment that was causing a
problem in my internal mind file legal systems. I told Henry it kept getting thrown
out and I pretended it was repeatedly escaping and leaping out of my right ear.
He thought I was funny and told me to refile it anyway - then I was sent off for
more reconditioning. I never thought they would stop with that stuff and I was
right. Zap, zap, zap."
These were the type of jokes that Bob Hope programmed into me for shows when I was demonstrated to
others that had similar mind control "interests." The first time I recited it to Henry for his approval, he
raised his eyebrows and looked at me over his glasses; he usually seemed either pretty amazed or leery at
the jokes Bob installed into me. I was too young and too fragmented to have come up with this type of
material on my own.
In later years when people would ask Bob where I came from, Bob jokingly told them I was picked
off a conveyor belt. He always teased about where I came from. Bob told me once that he chose me
because there was that little something special that he saw in my eyes.
Henry created my personality system and Bob handled the dialogue, jokes, songs, dances, and
entertainment, and supplied Henry with famous friends and connections from all over the world,
including Hollywood celebrities and business and political connections. Henry said contacts were
everything, and that he and Bob worked well together because, despite their differences, together they
more than doubled their influence and efficiency. They did wield influence over a large group of people.
Henry had the mind and Bob had the means and the connections.
Creating My Inner Universe
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Henry worked with me more in the beginning to set up all my systems. He even marked my
forehead all over with little x's delineating what he called a "stellar map" of my system. Then he had me
look into the mirror and what I saw, in addition to my little five or six year old face, framed by short hair,
was black x's all over me. He said those were planets within my inner universe of knowledge and that
they were laying in wait for the day they would be occupied. Later he attached the foreign countries,
using It's a Small World for the different planets. This kept the information totally separated since the
planets had no way of communicating with each other. So all the information remained self-contained
but held in orbit in the big blue vastness by stars. All the stars were used as mind files for different movie
"stars" or politicians I was used with. The larger stars held larger files of personalities I was used with
more regularly and the smaller stars were reserved for people I only saw on occasion. The largest stars
were reserved for Presidents, Kings, Queens, etc. The Council, that all-powerful group of men secretly
orchestrating this whole drama, had very specialized, highly advanced satellite systems that traveled all
over inside my mind, constantly monitoring my internal "worlds." They could also access interstellularly
or interplanetarily and gain access to any information they wanted about any area or person in the
system. Council members were the only ones who didn't have any security blocks throughout the system
anywhere. They had full and total access like Henry. Bob's access was limited only by his ability to be
able to fully access every part of the system. Henry just didn't inform Bob about planets or stars he didn't
want him to know about. And Henry told me that he and Uncle Bob rode on little space cycles all around
inner space in my head in order to police everything and make sure everything was always in perfect
order, with no file on any planet or star ever getting out of order or loose. That way Henry kept my mind
files in perfect order. Henry told me the mind files are limitless because the universe is limitless and
contains an infinite vastness, always new areas to chart. Henry said it could never be full.
Kissinger And Ever More Sophisticated Programming
Kissinger was the mastermind behind my personality structure, and used others to further his
creation. He was usually inside the top security places my father and others took me. There they did all
the "prep work," they called it, before I was taken to Henry for his expertise. Prepping, to me, meant
torture in machines, chairs, all sorts of horrors and then, when I couldn't function any longer, didn't
know my own name, or if I was even real, they would take me to Henry. Henry had a notebook of
diagrams he worked from. A "distilled" diagram meant that the original idea and intent had been
identified and worked out, and the succeeding diagrams were a further refinement until the end result
was total perfection. That's how Henry created my personality structure. Mind control was a secret
weapon that he perfected over the years.
Henry had other "robots," as he called them, but I was the one with whom he spent the most time
perfecting. He said I was the perfect subject and that my father had done such a great preliminary job
that his work was guaranteed a success, where other robots fell short because they "bled through" and so
couldn't be relied upon. I knew Henry had other robots because he said he had them for various and
sundry things but said that I was the cream of the crop.
Henry said we had a "roving headquarters," and that was always his black briefcase. When I saw
his briefcase I was programmed to feel familiar, and my surroundings didn't matter. I could now do my
work knowing that everything was okay. At least that is what was suggested for me to think and feel.
As I grew older, I was taken to military bases for more sophisticated programming. Helplessly
hooked up to high tech machines that did things to my brain, I had no way of understanding what these
people were doing to me or why. I was placed in large metal chambers and left in isolation, sometimes
spun, with colored lights, always with only one color at a time. I was restrained in sophisticated chairs
with electrodes attached to my head, then electroshocked in a variety of ways. Sophisticated audio
equipment also was used on me. Often loud, piercing sounds were relayed through earphones, usually
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with different sounds being fed into each ear. I didn't know what exactly they were accomplishing with
all of this technology, but I felt tortured by it.
Mind File System
I also continued to be taken to Disneyland for base programming for my government mind file
system. At around 8 years old, Henry made up some clever programs to create a place and organization
in my head for my international mind files. He created within my personality system one or two children
for each nationality; as is similarly portrayed in It's a Small World ride at Disneyland. Henry said the
international themes were to anchor in different mind file systems that he said were "culturally
oriented." Around The World In 80 Days was a song I sang over and over again when either my mother
or my brother played it on the organ or my brother would play it on his accordion. The words I was
programmed to respond to were, "Around the world in 80 days, I traveled on when Hope was gone to
make my rendezvous..." Henry Kissinger and Bob Hope continued to be cohorts over the years and
played around the world with people and governments, as much as that song played repeatedly in my
head.
Henry linked a whole array of different programs to the It's a Small World ride and said, "When
you walk up to the clock you will hear it tick-tock and then you will dock; tick-tock, ticktock. Keep all
information separate. Keep all information clean and neatly in its space with little walls in between." I
walked up to the ride, and saw the huge clock tower going tick-tock, then I was told to file through the
turnstile until I got to the ride. Henry meant for me to think my actual trips abroad were really just
memories about this ride. Due to this programming I had trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy.
Disney fantasy was really meant to hide my international experiences from my conscious mind.
Once I got off the ride Henry said something hypnotic to me to lock in the program. He spent a
good part of the day with me at Disneyland. He was really funny to the personalities he was
programming. I almost laughed when I first saw him. I knew it wasn't allowed, but he did look really
funny in the disguise. He had on a beard, wig and hat. He looked okay, but I knew it was really Henry,
and so I said, "Henry, why are you wearing those silly things?" I couldn't comprehend why he needed to
pretend he wasn't himself.
In his thick-accented, deep, monotonic voice, he told me to be quiet and with irritation in his
voice said, "You, my child, are too precocious."
Henry put me on ride after ride, and after I got off the rides, dizzy, nauseated, lightheaded,
disoriented, frightened, or whatever, he told me to "listen intently," while he programmed all sorts of
things into my mind file system.
"My Name Is Henry Sims"
Henry bought me popcorn and a balloon, too, just like my parents did in order to lock in the
program. If people had known that Henry Kissinger was there at Disneyland that day, they would have
been very surprised. And if I were the cause of him being recognized, I would surely have been
terminated. I was never to allude to being associated with Henry Kissinger. Henry gave me a lot of
mixing up on that agenda by having me read "Henry books and cartoons," in his attempt to keep his
identity anonymous to my conscious mind. He attempted to scramble my association to him by having
me read a variety of books; one was about Henry and the donut machine. He was always whispering,
"My name is Henry Sims," in my ear, so no one else could hear him. He also had me eat "Oh Henry"
candy bars and read "Oh Henry" cartoons, after he'd given me a hypnotic command to wipe away all
memory of him while I was reading or eating the above.
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Sometimes Henry would drive us to a parking lot, where we got out and walked some distance
to a shopping center or a waterway. Each time we were together, he usually wore a different type hat
(sometimes a Dick Tracy one) and a stick-on mustache and/or beard. He used to have a square mustache
and a square goatee to match. He wore those off and on. Henry was a master of disguise and could keep
his roles straight. He seemed very smart to me as a child.
In the early days, Henry would tell people, "She's a smart cookie, isn't she?" That was when I was
about 10, just before my big political White House sexual liaisons were to begin. But I'm getting ahead of
myself.
Carousel Program
Henry also programmed me in front of a carousel ride. He had me stand in front of the carousel
but he wouldn't let me sit down on a horse or a bench on the ride. I was only 8 years old or so and I
wanted to get on the ride and have fun, but Henry said I had to stand up outside of the ride. That day, the
carousel in my mind had to be created with me standing up and the files in my mind were to glide
smoothly and as easily as the carousel turning. Then it would come to a stop, like the wheel of fortune, at
the country in the mind file that Henry would ask for. He told me, "There's a whole other world in your
mind files, the whole world." Then he told me, "The carousel makes the files in your head turn easily and
effortlessly." My programmers also linked memory of times I was spun until I was dizzy and disoriented
in their attempt to keep these mind files under the cloak of national security. As I deprogrammed I often
mentally bumped into spin, sleep, suicide, migraine, and drug programs that I had to fight through in
order to get to the original experiences. I was often physically sick, as my program dictated, and suffered
massive migraine headaches and pain in different parts of my body while retrieving this information I'm
sharing with you.
Henry told me, "You are a computer and like magnets repel, if you try to work on a computer,
your mind will repel. It will go away and you won't be able to think to operate it. That is of course unless
it's "apple blossom time," which was a cryptic reference to New York. Later he programmed in "cherry
blossom time," as a code for JFK. In 1991, some 30 years later, as I attempted to document my memories
on computer from the island of Kauai, I was continually frustrated, as I would become disoriented upon
starting to write my remembered experience. Often after I tenaciously battled my way through the
journalizing of my memories, I would smile having won, only to become immediately disoriented, and
look again the next moment to find that the information I had just spent one to two hours documenting
had been erased by another part of my personality structure who was still following the ordered
command of my controllers. It was extremely frustrating, but I was stubborn and refused to give up!
Inner Clock Program
Henry programmed in reporting personalities so he could use them to debrief me in order to
access the data he carefully requested I acquire on certain targeted information or individuals. He
created a very sophisticated system that allowed me to have an inner clock that not only kept perfect
time but, when asked, I delivered the time audibly, and also knew the times around the world and could
even record and playback the time that events occurred for me each day. Henry would ask me, "What did
you do between the hours of 8 and 5 on June 5th?"
I would recite, "At 8 a.m. I woke up, at 9 a.m. I took a shower, at 10 a.m. I saw so and so..." At
anytime Henry could check the inner record to find out where I'd been, who I was with, and what I was
saying or doing. He instructed the set-up to house, "who, where and what," and be able to enter "the
schedule recording file" into the framework of the base program.
My most important job was to drop the message to people he sent me to, at the right time. Henry
said timing was everything. So he taught me to drop messages at the perfect time and to look into the
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person's eyes and notice other facial mannerisms and how he or she was breathing. He said I would
get it like "perfect clockwork." That was the actual name of a mind file category, to list and recite all the
different world times so Henry would know exactly what time it was in each and every country in the
world anytime he would ask me - and all this time and place orientation looped back into the It's a Small
World ride and the Clock Tower programming.
Henry could remember file names and numbers better than anyone could. He always
remembered the major ones all in his head. He had a small notebook where he kept track of other mind
files; large lists for intricate blueprints, classified documents, and detailed listings under subheadings.
The system of files he created was multi-leveled and multi-tiered, like a wedding cake. Henry told my
respective personalities how it looked overall and created a picture in our head so we could see how it
worked from inside. We also had an inside "teacher" that we could hear inside the head to teach, remind,
command and organize. This teacher was important and worked inside subconsciously and separately
with Henry, until I was thirty-six or so, when a chiropractor inadvertently connected my conscious mind
up to my inner teacher, who later ultimately helped lead me to freedom. The result was that Henry's
inner teacher program was made conscious and I was taught to my conscious mind what was previously
subconscious, thus, my conscious and subconscious minds were linked together making the program
even stronger and accessible to learning information from others. So, I was then consciously able to
realize I was assigned my "inner teacher" and "inner guides," who really were just code names for
projects or areas I was involved in. Then, I began to hear the codes consciously and it was activating
subconscious personalities or material in my mind files. But once again I am getting ahead of myself.
Chess Anyone?
Henry played games with me; chess, checkers, tic-tae-toe, and concentration; all mind games "to
create other files and nooks and crannies to store files," Henry said. He set up a system with a chess
game that was intended to house cryptic messages between Henry and others. The Council contacted
Henry and built a very strong relationship with him through lengthy discussions and information they
sent to him through messages encoded in my mind file system.
Over time, Henry wooed them by creating very sophisticated (yet simple for the intelligent) ways of
communicating through the coded chess game where each piece had a very specific meaning that he
taught me to memorize in order to relay the code. Over time the secret players knew what the moves
meant by heart. They were time worn. "You see the chess board like a clock and all the pieces are
recognized in a clockwise motion," Henry instructed me under his hypnotic command. When the chess
board was set up, all Henry (or the Council) had to do was to make a move on the chess board and I
would memorize and carry the move, containing the cryptic message, back and it would be understood
what was meant by the communication. Unilateral wars were directed; the players in the game of war
were clearly demarcated. There were no mistakes because everything was programmed and crosschecked
like a computer. My mind was programmed and catalogued like a machine, so there could be
only absolute precision.
The chessboard was a bridge to the "other world" where my controllers all existed, "like when
Dorothy went to Oz," I was told. Henry and Bob and Governor (later President) Reagan and the others
were to be seen like Dorothy's friends and family--they existed over the rainbow while my mom and dad
and friends were where Auntie Em lived, in the real world. "So just like in the mirror, everything is just
the opposite of what you see. Like Sleeping Beauty looking into a pool of clear water and seeing her
beautiful reflection, you will go over the rainbow, melt into it." "Over the Rainbow" was always going
toward the world that was like Oz, that pretend world of Henry Sims and Bob. Everyone was on the other
side, all I had to do was "walk through the liquid mirror to face the other side and that will immediately
switch you and turn you around to face a new situation, calm, refreshed and invigorated. Every move,
smooth and efficient," Henry instructed me.
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The Older Look
Henry created many personalities inside of me who were programmed to be older and wiser than
my young years, for his use with others. These personalities were formed and created by watching
different selected movies as a child, like My Fair Lady. This was necessary, I overheard Henry tell others,
in order to use me at 10 years old, passed off to others as a 16-18 year old. Since I was physically
developed by 10 years old, they could pull it off, especially by creating very mature personalities to
handle some of their very important clients. By that time I began having my hair done professionally
once a week. My hairstyle was short and "chic," was the word Henry used. He needed to provide me with
an older look and, in those days, everyone needed me to be older looking, older acting, older everything.
My hair was professionally styled every week, in order to more smoothly portray the very mature,
polished personalities that he and others helped create for their use. One obstacle was during the time I
had my braces on. At that time, there were occasions when I would be taken to my orthodontist, James
Mulick, DDS., a UCLA graduate, and late at night, he would remove my front braces and then a day or
two later after my use was over, he would replace them. Like everyone else, he was probably also under
programming.
In those days, Henry accessed information from my mind files with needles that he stuck in
between my knuckles, though never in public. When we were at a meeting or in a public place he just
touched my hand to put me into a mind file mode, then he would cue me with key/code numbers to
access the specific files he wanted. Later, he used a "time clock theme" and fortunately for me he
abandoned the use of needles.
Over time, many personalities were specifically created and enhanced for future use with targeted
people, such as presidents, entertainers or foreign leaders. There were "president mind files" that were
created strictly for the President's use in whatever way they needed or wanted. I was instructed to wear
pearls for times I was to be used strictly as a mind file, and diamonds when I was to be used primarily
sexually with presidents, heads of state or world leaders.
I can still hear Henry's voice giving me the commands, with his thick heavy accent he said, "Your
eyes are getting so sleepy a train wouldn't rattle you. Now when you are deep asleep you will be able to
retain vast reservoirs of information for safekeeping and retrieval by me and only me. This information
is safe, very safe, because it can only be accessed by me. Do you understand? Nod if you understand." I
nodded my head. "Good," he said, "now we can begin with the taping of the message, 'Mr. President, I
was aghast at your stance in Iran. Change directions and face east. The success of this operation depends
on it.' "
Other memory compartments he created for other usage were seen to me, inside, as blocks of
memory banks that housed information. They all had combination locks that Henry knew the codes to.
Many had number and letter codes like, "16R, 17L, and 12 up straight." With the access code, the door to
the memory bank in my head would swing open wide and I could go in and read the information Henry
wanted. He told me the file to go into and I'd read through the alphabetical mind file system to get to the
subject he wanted. Then, I read him the data or accessed messages directed to him from others.
Later on when I was older, I had numerical codes for laundering money to and from places he told
me to go.
UCLA
Henry spent time at UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute in Westwood, California, in the area where
they tested me and worked on my brain with all of their high tech equipment; bright lights, goggles,
drugs, electroshock, cat scan tubes, etc. Henry walked with the big, heavy Caucasian doctor dressed in a
white lab coat down the halls and I walked behind them until we got to the double swinging doors, and
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then the doctor held one door open for Henry and I to enter. We all went inside and Henry told me to
hop up on the table. The doctor examined my reflexes and looked into my eyes with different lights and
gave me tastes and smells and all sorts of things that they said would powerfully effect my brain. Henry
told me the doctor was my imaginary friend. He told me that was what I was to think, anyway. In an
attempt to further scramble my brain the big doctor crossed his arms over his chest with his hands
pointing in opposite directions and said, "Is it east or is it west? I don't know, I just get confused."
NASA
Another time doctors in white coats played perceptual mind games with me at a NASA
installation. First they took me "through the course," they called it, and I was taken from chairs that
performed different operations, like one that spun, then next to an isolation chamber. They put huge eye
machines up to my face and had me close one eye and then the other in order to program each side of the
brain separately. Some things were then reversed and programmed into another area of my brain
through the opposite eye. They called this "cross-programming." For other functions, both sides of my
brain had to be operating syncronistically. Information for mind file use was stored only on one side of
my brain. Then, they allowed me to rest a moment before they injected me with some drug after which
they put me through the course again (first by a woman, then by a man). They led me from each piece of
equipment by the hand because at this point I was a total zombie. When I finished the third go-around of
the course of equipment; they put me in a totally soundless isolation chamber. I don't know how long I
was in isolation, but doctors in white lab coats released me and asked me questions. I was still spinning;
I felt like I couldn't even prevent my head and eyes from continually spinning as I attempted to answer
their questions. Focusing my eyes was very difficult. I can still feel and experience, to the point of
abreaction, how awful and disorienting it felt. The doctors always acted very superior, but even as a child
under mind control, somehow I was able to wonder, "who couldn't win with mind games, under these
circumstances." I was only a child who had been put through torture and drugged, and now they wanted
to ask me questions as if they were somehow better than I was. After one doctor finished questioning me,
he would leave and another doctor would question and test me further.
At the time I was unable to consciously fathom the fact that that there was never any normal life
for me. Only "acting" normal outwardly and for the public. Normal was what most people deemed
acceptable behavior and I was told to emulate the normal people. So I copied behavior and was only
allowed to be around certain people. All other relationships were not allowed. Both my mother and
father watched me "like a hawk;" they said I wasn't allowed to go to social events that were not part of
my programmed reality.
Henry Got Me into the Pentagon Lots of Times
In order to ready me for this assignment, Henry played "a bingo game" with me inside my head
and directed me to the files in the Pentagon by a map he also created inside my head. In the Pentagon
file room a code identified each filing cabinet in the room by giving it a letter code for the row and a
number code for the number of the cabinet, starting with # 1 at the left. There were 12 rows of 12
cabinets in the area. The floor beneath the cabinets was smooth concrete or marble-like. The files inside
the cabinets were labeled with letter and number codes. You had to look up the document you wanted
from a listing, to get to the code number in order to look it up in the files. These were kept on the
opposite side of the building for security purposes so a person would have to break through two security
systems to get to the document they wanted. None were just filed alphabetically, but had a different
system altogether for security. The building's windows had those small wavy, wiry lines in them. But the
file room didn't have any windows. There were different types of security systems. Some systems set and
unlocked with cards, others with keys, and still others were heat, light, voice or pressure activated. In
some areas there were red laser beams that shone through the area that housed the filing cabinets.
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There were many times that he dressed me in different disguises; dressed me as a man,
complete with beard and mustache, or a woman with padding to make me appear heavyset. These
disguises were also successful in making me appear different ages. He often had hats that completed my
disguise for a job. Henry disguised me and took me in one night. He only did the night entrance on one
occasion, when there was an emergency that was worth the risk of abandoning me inside with
instructions to self-destruct if apprehended. Henry did something to get an armed guard to agree to take
me through the long, gray halls and lines of desks to the area where they had rows of file cabinets full of
classified documents. Henry needed some information on a document, so he said something to the guard
and the guard took me all through the building unlocking systems as we went. He took me up to the file
room and just like in the game Henry and I had played, I went straight for the file cabinet, coded in the
row and number on the map in my head. Like a rat in a maze, I knew my way exactly to the desired
destination and I used a small flashlight that Henry had given me for this purpose. The file area had
cameras that filmed the area, like in banks. Those had to somehow be shut down. Henry told me to pull
the file, photographically memorize its entire contents within a prearranged mind file and minutes to
completely "photograph" a multi-page document with my mind. There was no, enough time to read it,
but I photographed it quickly, and then I returned to the guard. I think the agreement was that I could
only have 2 minutes in an open drawer once I located the document I think Henry challenged guys that
thought I couldn't do such things that fast or other things than seemed humanly impossible, so that he
could get me into different highly secured buildings Henry also palmed guards and at other times got
special clearances, or would work a deal out with a guard or the guard's boss. It was tricky because
guards had to log their Henry would help provide them with an alibi for the time they were helping him.
During regular business hours, Henry would prostitute me to top Pentad, guards, whoever he
needed to manipulate or access in order to gain the information he wanted There were certain Pentagon
officials who were more cooperative than others. In later years he took me to meetings with men at the
Pentagon in order to "debrief' me in front of them.
At the Pentagon there was also an audio-visual room, as they called it back in the late 60's and
early 70's, where persons with top clearances could go to see a movie (later videos), of top secret projects
and other classified information. Henry got me in to see lots of those over the years. There used to be a
large movie screen, but later a large monitor for video showings
Henry and The CIA
Henry sent man,: at the airport in a limo. Once in the office, Henry sat me in the large wooden
chair that turned, r, order to give me the message while he spun me. Later, I was driven with him while
he sorted through my mind files, listened to messages from people, and inputted information on new
projects until we reached Washington, D.C. Then he sent me into buildings and I gave the information to
whomever I was told to and in whatever way Henry said. Most of the time se, was just an avenue to
deliver messages or maybe just used as a payoff to officials who were willing to overlook their security
command in order to allow me access to certain classifies areas. Henry was well greased into the inner
network of the FBI and CIA. He and his groin made sure they had control over these agencies. The
director was always "one of theirs," but Henry had a lot of important information to give these agencies
in order for things to groove, like well-oiled cogs.
They sent me to "give a message to the man on the second floor in the hall who has a rep
handkerchief in his left pocket and bumps into your left shoulder and leans over to say, 'Sorry little girl.'
Then you tell him this message."
Henry had a lot of business with the CIA and the FBI and it was all a big secret. He sent m, in even
at eight and nine years old to deliver some of his most sensitive information to the most sensitive of
connections. It all began with him spinning me in the wooden chair and inputting the message. Then he
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would have someone deliver me to the destination where I passed off information, often to older, very
dignified, wealthy looking gentlemen. Sometimes I "ran into". cute little old man with white hair who
bumped me on the shoulder and dropped something on the floor like a rose, handkerchief, or key ring
and as we both bent to get it, I'd deliver information. Sometimes it was a long string of numbers and
sometimes just a word like "Ajax, or "coma," or "barley him "or "make him into a ham on rye," or
"tonight, 3 a.m. Federal Building job."
Chain Of Command
My chain of command was Henry first and then Bob. Henry Kissinger created Sue and Bob Hope
created Sharon, and initially they were to only work with their respective sides of my personality
structure. Messages could be sent through the inner personality system. Bob was never to access Sue and
Henry wasn't to access Sharon, but Henry taught many personalities how to send messages back and
forth through the system in order to get information about Sharon without accessing directly through
her and thereby keeping it secret from Bob that he was breaking their agreement. Henry created "inner
runners" that took messages from Sue to Sharon and then replied back without ever having to have
Sharon present. It worked well, but Bob didn't access Sue. Since Bob didn't create my personality
infrastructure, he lacked the sophistication to know how to access information without being caught and
he knew Kissinger would find out because Henry programmed me to always tell the truth. I couldn't do
otherwise and I would tell on Bob because Henry told me, "You watch him and tell me everything he
does."
After lots of contact with Henry, he said, "Like in a good marriage, after awhile there is
unconscious communication going all the time." He meant that it was like knowing each other so well
that you know each other's thoughts, and that's how he trained me to be attuned to him.
In the early years lots of my instructions came by way of the telephone. My controllers would call
out a specific personality's name and I would switch to her, listen for instructions and when they said,
"Bye Sue," I'd switch back to my regular personality, with no conscious awareness of the event.
Bob took me to more places as a child to gain experience, but Henry just sat me in the chair a lot
and read instructions or stuck that big pin in my thigh or hand, and gave me things to look at to "take a
picture with my inner camera."
Who Would Suspect a Kid?
Henry had his driver take us to different parks in New York and they would let me out. I was eight
or nine years old one time when Henry told me to, "walk toward the man in the blue suit," and when he
dropped his handkerchief I was to give him a message. When I walked back to the car, Henry said,
"You're some kind of homing pigeon." He called me that often when I was little and doing "errands" for
him. He wanted me to have short hair so he could disguise me to look like a boy or a girl, whatever the
job required. He had me be everything including "invisible"--that is, hidden inside of a box that was
transported into a large warehouse. Of course I was instructed that once inside, to wait two hours, get
out of the box and come and unlock the warehouse, and if necessary I was instructed in how to break the
security code to get out. Like Henry said, "Who would suspect a kid?"
"Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us..." --The Lord's Prayer
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Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
Chapter Five: Initiation into the Political Arena as a Sex Slave
My father sold me as a prostitute to neighbors and business contacts. He programmed me to ride
my bike to the gas station at the corner of Ventura Boulevard and Fallbrook Avenue in Woodland Hills.
Mr. Teesdale and Mr. Roberts owned the station. Frank, the auto mechanic and gas station attendant
who worked there, traded my father free gas and auto servicing in exchange for having sex with me in the
bathroom at the station. That went on for several years. The gas station has since been demolished and
in its place stands a large office building, but the memories of what happened to me remain. He also took
me to the next door neighbor, Mr. Faciano, to perform sexual favors, always in exchange for twenty
dollar bills. My father also sold me for sex to groups of men who met at the welding shop he owned.
These men took me by the hand, behind Smitty's Wood Lot, and sexually abused me (I performed oral
sex, or they would rape or sodomize me) in exchange for cash paid to my father. My father, and later my
brother Rick, who through a series of events ended up owning the family welding business, sold child
pornography out of the shop. These pornographic materials were kept behind a corrugated metal wall
and sold to interested customers when they came in. (My brother may not be consciously aware of his
criminal activities.) Over the years, I was well trained, through trauma and sexual abuse, in line with the
technology that was shared with my father so he could condition me for a higher level of future use.
One night at the dinner table my father announced that the actor, Robert Taylor, had been in to
visit him again. I never knew why a famous actor like Robert Taylor would want to visit my father at his
welding shop, but even though I couldn't yet piece the separate parts of my mind together enough to
understand, I was impressed nevertheless. During this time when I was around 8-10 years old, my father
told me that Robert Taylor watched a ballet performance where I danced the Swan Lake ballet on toe
shoes. I wore a pink sequined leotard with pink sequined straps and the outfit had pink feathers attached
to it. I had a pink-feathered headband that made it look like I had pink feathers all around my face, like a
swan. Later on I found out that Robert Taylor liked child pornography; my father sold it to him from his
welding shop, and he also liked sex with 7-10 year old girls.
This was an important time of deciding just how far I would "go." Dad wanted me to go all the way
to the top. He said he was so proud of me and together we'd make his father Ivan, a proud grandfather.
My father had a group of pedophile friends with daughters my age. They traded us sexually and
each independently participated in filming us pornographically, sometimes including bestiality. I had
many personalities who were trained both in porn and prostitution.
Corbin Bowl
At age seven, I was further trained by older women prostitutes in a back room at the Corbin Bowl,
located on Ventura Boulevard in Tarzana, California. I was taught the "tricks of the trade," most of which
I already knew from years of sexual abuse. The prostitution and pornography I was a part of was a highly
organized activity.
There were times a personality within me was programmed and used to entice and kidnap other
children off the street and into a big black car. The kidnapped children were initially kept in cages in
back rooms and then used in pornography and usually killed, often in snuff films. We were all shocked
with cattle prods or other electrical devices for lots of different offenses. Pornography was filmed at the
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Corbin Bowl, with other children, women, men, and animals. Perhaps this is where many of the
missing children, whose faces we see so often on postal cards or billboards are disappearing to and why
they are never found. At this young age, I was also locked in a small, darkened room with a bed and sold
as a prostitute to large numbers of men in a day. The people in charge left ropes, whips, and sex toys for
use by the men who paid for sex with me.
One of my father's pedophile friends and partners in the child porn and prostitution business was
Dean Hartshorn. Although Dean was nearly 20 years younger than my father, their shared sexual
perversions kept them close friends. Dean and his family lived in the Encino Hills area and he operated a
pesticide business. Dean had a beautiful daughter, named Donna, who had the blondest hair and bluest
eyes I'd ever seen. She was traded to my father for sex and I was traded to Dean and some of his friends
and relatives. The Hartshorn family joined my family on vacation several times a year and Donna and I
were filmed as we performed sexual acts with numerous different people.
Other Locations
Over the years I was taken to many different locations and filmed and/or programmed. Some of
these were: Turlock Lake, Mount Shasta, Clear Lake, Lake Arrowhead, Bass Lake, Lake Cachuma, Lake
Isabella, Millerton Lake, Pine Flats, Lake Elsinore, Big Bear Lake, La Jolla, Mission Bay, Salton Sea,
Coronado, San Juan Capistrano, the Colorado River, Lake Mead, Lake Mohave, Lake Havasu, Death
Valley, Las Vegas, and other places we went for so-called "waterskiing vacations."
Cliff Spear was also a pedophile friend of my fathers. His daughter Debbie (also known as
DeeDee) was my age and was in my brownie troop and class at school. I was traded to Cliff by my father,
and was molested by him every time I spent the night at Debbie's house. In the middle of the night,
Debbie and I, and sometimes her younger sister Jana, were awakened and taken to Cliff's carpeting
business to be filmed pornographically.
Guy Cooper was a man who filmed me in porn at his home in Hidden Hills, with his younger
daughter, Buffy. In this porn I was also forced to have sex with animals, some of them large farm
animals. You can imagine how shameful and degrading these experiences are to a child.
To my knowledge, my father's affiliation was not limited to any single group, nor did he subscribe
to membership in any group for any length of time. Instead, his membership was temporary, as he
moved from one group to another, suiting my programmer's needs for the time. The groups I am aware
of that he attended for different periods of time were the Lions Club, Ku Klux Klan, and Neo-Nazi
groups. Publicly and consciously my father adamantly professed that he was not prejudiced against any
race or religion and taught me not to be racially prejudiced. In private, secret gatherings with likeminded
men, he witnessed and participated in ceremonies where they humiliated, tortured,
dismembered and killed Black people and Jewish people. I know, because as a child I was present at
some of those "meetings."
I was taken often to rituals that were performed late at night. One incident that stands out in my
mind was a night near my 10th birthday when a group of men sacrificed a Black man, saying it was done
in my "honor," to give me power. As I watched in sheer panic, devastation, and horror, they tortured and
then threw this man alive into the bonfire. To withstand this extremely traumatic event, I split off
another personality to deal with it. On another occasion, as a Fourth of July event, a small child was
delivered by a black sedan to my father at the gully at the end of our street. I watched in horror as my
father strapped a homemade bomb he had made to this little boy's body and told me he was so powerful
he could make the child live or die. The next thing I knew the bomb went off and the child was nowhere
to be found. The tactics used to keep me dissociated and split were endless.
The Shriners
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I remembered my father and our Shriner neighbor, Jack Rice, taking me to a meeting where a
group of men, all wearing red Shriner hats, sat at tables. My father was given a Shriner hat and acted like
he felt uncomfortable wearing it. I was patriotically wearing a navy blue v-neck dress with a large white
sailor collar. Mr. Rice sat on one side of me and my father on the other. They ate dinner but I just sat at
my place in a daze and didn't eat anything. One of the Shriner's stood at his table and clinking his glass
to get everyone's attention, he announced, "We have a little member here tonight to entertain and delight
you. Please welcome her with a round of applause."
I walked up onto the stage and began dancing to The National Anthem. "Oh say can you see, by
the dawn's early light," the words played as I danced and slowly began taking off first my dress, then my
shoes, pantaloons, nylons, bra, and panties until I stood dressed only in a tiny tasseled white satin gstring.
Why I didn't strip all the way I don't know. All the men cheered and after I was through Mr. Rice
stood at the bottom of the stage stairs to take me backstage to dress. He held out his arm and I took it. I
felt like I was blind and couldn't see to find my way so he led me as he recited the program he had
continually taught me to memorize, "There was a man who had no eyes and he went out to view the
skies, he saw a tree with apples on it, he picked no apples off but left no apples on it." It was a "blind"
program and I was told I couldn't see while I was there. Mr. Rice led me to a back room. It wasn't like a
dressing room, just a side room. He gave me some kind of red robe to wear, "They'll bring your clothes
on into us in awhile, we'll just wait." Other nights at different Shriner places, there were satanic rituals
where I was raped on an altar in front of the group of robed men. There were many other Shriner
meetings; lots of them disguised "under the big top," at Shriner circuses. Circuses were a place of trauma
over the years and I usually ended up getting hurt.
My neighbor Peggy and I performed Alice in Wonderland in what seemingly appeared to be an
innocent backyard neighborhood play for these elderly neighbors, Mr. & Mrs. Rice. They sat on their
patio, having cocktails like they always did at happy hour and watched while we performed. In the
middle of the play, Mr. Rice wiggled his finger and calling me over to him, he said, "Come here, Susie, I
want to tell you a secret." I stood by this elderly man's chair on the patio and he motioned for me to bend
over so he could whisper a secret to me. His pungent alcohol breath permeated the air as he said, "I have
a little surprise that will help you act out the play better," and he put a small role of lifesavers into my
hand and told me, "open your mouth for the next surprise." Naively and with complete trust, I opened
my mouth as he said, "Close your eyes for the hidden surprise, and remember the real surprise is in your
hand." Then he reminded me, "open your mouth for the hidden surprise."
In childlike innocence, I kept my eyes closed, waiting in anticipation for the surprise. Mr. Rice
placed something in my mouth that was round as he said, "This is a heavenly wafer, my dear, a hidden
heavenly wafer, in which you will appear." I didn't know what he meant but I began feeling very weak
and funny inside, just like Alice in Wonderland did. Then he said, "Go finish your play now and act your
part. Your part is about to start, so don't be late for a very important date or you will end up in trouble
over and over and over again. Always obey the white rabbit, follow him inside for he has the time of day
in which you will play. So go now and play your play. Which is it, play? The play or the play?"
In a confused stupor, I walked back over to my friend Peggy and entered the play again, saying my
part, which was, "I'm late, I'm late for a very important date."
Mr. Rice was my date at other evening affairs with the Shriners, some where I was even the "altar
girl" but it wasn't like a sacred ceremony at the Catholic Church, instead, I was taken to satanic rituals.
They were really bad rituals where I was raped on an altar in front of lots of Shriners late at night, in dark
outside places and they hurt and tortured me in the name of what they called, "the holy one."
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Peggy and I also performed The Parent Trap for the Rice's. This was a way of cementing and
concretizing the Susan and Sharon twin sister programming. I played Sharon in the backyard play and
Peggy played Susan. We even cut my dress just like in the movie.
As I remembered what had actually happened, in full detail, instead of merely recalling the small
slice of conscious reality of this past event, I could smell the Rice's home, Mr. Rice's alcohol breath, and
his daughter Joanie's perfume, which was strong and also had an alcohol base to it. Hidden behind all
the fairy tales and seemingly good things were painful memories of the places I was taken to for
programming.
The Onset of Puberty
I began puberty around this time and my father snuck into my room like he always did at night.
He explained to me while I was in a haze of sleep, that I was of the superior race, that I was of Aryan
descent and that he was proud of my blond hair, green eyes, and fair skin. At the time, I had no idea what
he was talking about and ignored it, pretending I didn't hear him.
I started menstruating at ten. This heralded abuse in rituals which involved being raped and
impregnated, sometimes twice a year. When the fetuses were two to three months old, they were aborted
at rituals and ingested by members of the group in order to fulfill the beliefs of the group; that it made
those participating "more powerful." These were devastating, deeply traumatizing, and soulfully painful
experiences, the memory of which was repressed along with all the other traumas. These traumatic
events served as mind control reinforcement, to insure amnesia of my use in pornography, prostitution,
and later projects I was to serve in.
By the end of the 5" grade, when I was almost eleven, I had gone through puberty, was fully
developed and had already had my menstrual cycle for a year. Despite the abuse, I was programmed to
be an average student, with many "school" personalities who helped me act like a "normal kid." Often I
displayed behavior problems in school, as I acted out, due to what was secretly going on at home and at
other dark, hidden places. My teachers merely passed off my joking and constant disruption as typical
mischievous behavior and I won an award for class clown. I also had personalities who were totally
amnesiac of any of my abuse who were able to function normally at school. As I entered junior high
school, I did the things that normal kids do; I was a cheerleader, performed in the chorus, sang solos at
school performances, won awards for the most beautiful smile and for being the class clown, and
obtained other awards for service. And my mother had the cleanest house in the neighborhood.
To all outward appearances, all of these families I've mentioned, seemed to be normal, upstanding
citizens of the community. NO one would have ever suspected that, in secret, all of this abuse was
occurring. The mothers kept clean children and clean houses, smiled and were polite and caring in
public, and the fathers acted charming and were considered responsible businessmen in the community.
What went on behind closed doors--that no one wanted to believe or hear about, not even my school
principal--was the spiritual, physical, and emotional devastation of many, many children.
In my desperation to obtain help or understanding, I started very early trying to figure out what
was wrong. I kept bumping into mind control programming that re-routed my thoughts, and exasperated
with my statements and questions, my mother constantly "re-minded" me from her own programming,
"You just think too much!"
When I turned eleven, my father announced he was flying me to his small hometown of
Correctionville, Iowa, to meet my grandparents. I was surprised by this invitation, as family problems
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had estranged my father from his parents for years ...in fact, from even before my birth. My father
never had anything pleasant to say about his parents. But I was excited to fly on an airplane (which I
mistakenly thought was my first time) and curious about meeting my grandparents for the first time. The
telltale fact that my father hated them, and had stolen their car and run away from home at fifteen never
entered my thought processes. Nor was I able to wonder why my mother and brothers were not invited
to go along. Unfortunately, due to the mind control I was under, I did not have the ability to question or
to wonder about anything along certain lines. I merely went along with what I was told to do.
I was impregnated several months before we were to go to Iowa. My mother took me shopping to
a clothes store called Stardusters. It was like Hollywood there. The saleslady picked out dresses and took
me into the dressing room and, in spite of my embarrassment, dressed me in outfits complete with
accessories. My mother bought me several expensive outfits, complete with hats, belts, purses and fancy,
frilly undergarments, although she wore old, ragged clothes and at home the word was that we were
broke.
On the way home from our shopping spree, my mother took note of my maternally pooching
tummy, and over the next few months, yelled at me constantly saying, "Hold in your stomach." Neither
of us consciously knew that I was pregnant and I tried my best to hold in my tummy. During my teen
years, I was usually anorexic, very thin, and didn't eat much, so the fact that I was pregnant for a month
or two was not easy to detect, especially to those who wouldn't have ever expected it.
My paternal grandfather, Ivan Charles Eckhart, was a Jersey Ice Cream manufacturer, a
multimillionaire and mayor of the town of Correctionville, Iowa, where he lived with my grandmother.
Later on he won a landslide election to become the supervisor of the Third District and for years was
involved in both local and state politics.
My paternal grandmother, Leah Eckhart, was a small but angry-tempered woman. Now I
understand why. Instead of sleeping upstairs in the plush bedroom with my grandfather, she slept in the
bare cement floored basement on a small cot. At the time I could not question or wonder about that
either. My grandparents are now both deceased, left with never having the opportunity of understanding
or healing the intergenerational abuse that created this problem to begin with.
I had many traumatic experiences on my visits to Iowa. I suppose, back then, my father's return
visit to his parents appeared just to be a family reunion, but nothing could have been further from the
truth.
While in Iowa, I had the first of several forced abortions, which was performed in a torturous
fashion by a local doctor. Although I was actually raped and made pregnant at a ritual, I was humiliated
and shamed for becoming pregnant. As in all trauma-based mind control, everything was a double-bind.
I was blamed and shamed for everything that happened, none of which I ever had any control over. My
baby, which was not yet old enough to be born alive, was nevertheless a perfectly formed fetus. My
grandparents and my father performed a ritual behind their house in which they convinced me that I had
killed my own baby (it was obviously born dead), and they ate it and forced me to participate. Since I was
suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder, this traumatic experience, along with many others, was
stored neatly away from my conscious mind, hidden in alternate personalities, and sealed away from my
conscious awareness by programming that covered and hid the truth of my life.
One night after returning to my grandfather's house, somehow the experiences that terrified me
were not so neatly hidden from my consciousness and in an act of panic and desperation, I frantically
tried to phone my mother to ask her to help me. Overhearing me, my grandfather grabbed the phone out
of my hand and proceeded to rip the phone out of the wall and in retaliation, tied me to the post of his
iron bed frame for two days, while they went out of town. My grandfather was very brutal. But my father
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was very proud of the human technology I possessed. He was pleased to be able to show his father all
of my "trained" abilities.
During the remainder of the time we were in Iowa, I was forced to entertain my grandfather's
business and political friends. I danced naked on the table at meetings and performed sexual favors for
many of my grandfather's associates. To demonstrate my abilities, my father prompted the men to use
their cigars or cigarettes to burn my vaginal area as I kneeled before them. My father wanted to
demonstrate that I would smile and show no signs of the pain due to mind control. After these meetings,
I was connected to a higher level of politicians.
From then on, when my father took me on our yearly trips to Iowa, I was slowly connected to
more and more political figures. In the meantime, he used me wherever he could to get cash, or more
often, courtesies for favors. We started having enough money to go out to dinner, which was a treat we
could not previously afford. It's likely that some of the money came from my father's payoffs from my use
in porn and prostitution.
Training Farms
There were child and adolescent training centers called "farms," that I believe were located in
Montreal, a city in the French Canadian Province of Quebec. I was taken to one for "grace training," and
to step up the etiquette and formal training I would need to be used a notch higher. Other teenage girls
were also there in training. It felt like a prison. I think I was there for a week - it was difficult to
determine the actual span of time. It had to be winter because it was chilly and windy outside, and the
trees were barren and there were leaves on the ground. This place was located out in the countryside. It
wasn't on the way to anything so if anyone came near they could easily be identified as intruders. We
were seen to public eyes as unwed mothers. We even had to stuff a pillow in our pants and go into town
every once in awhile. I slept with other girls in a white farm building that had cement floors and cots
with mattresses that lined the room. We all compliantly took the medicine they gave us every morning.
The people that worked at "the farm" changed daily, men and women both, but never the same ones two
days in a row. We ate dinner and we all got into bed, then someone told us a story. They treated us like a
herd of cows and we all totally obeyed instructions; there was no fuss and no fight, just total obedience.
I was taught how to walk elegantly with a book on my head and had to be able to squat down without
dropping the book, and then stand up again. I was assigned to work with language input tapes in a small
sound room equipped with headphones. I was given a mirror to look into to practice making certain
sounds. All the instructions were given to me auditorily, even down to, "hold your mouth like you are
saying A or O," and then I heard the sound I was to mimic. Once I learned the physical impressions of
how to make the sounds they could easily attach language skills. I don't know how it all works, but later
they had me lay down with headphones on while they played sounds so fast that I couldn't hear the
words. Later they said that it had "worked," and that I had received French language enhancement. The
lady explained that in most foreign countries it was proper to ask for a translator, but it was to be
common background for the upper class to at least speak fluent French and Italian, and preferably
German and Russian also. Since I was going to be used with foreign people and in foreign countries, I
had to know their languages and customs.
I was also shown movies from a film projector onto a screen. I saw films on different foreign
countries in order to obtain the necessary culture. They instructed me, "Put this in your China file," and
then I would watch a movie intently recording all of it, the places, the names, dates, historical facts,
everything. Then later on when Henry and I arrived in these foreign lands, I was familiar with their
cultural background so I wouldn't make a faux pas.
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All we did at the training farm was eat lightly, sleep and learn; input was ingested in large
quantities for later use. Henry didn't visit me there. He said he might stop in to check on me, but he
never did. Beforehand, he tied my Wizard of Oz programming to this event when he told me to believe, "I
left my bed in Kansas, and went on the wings of a tornado to the farm." When I came back "to Kansas" I
woke up in my own bed in California and was very, very sick. My mom took care of me and told me that I
had the flu. I had a high fever and was a little delirious. I couldn't even manage to keep my eyes focused.
I felt exhausted and so sick that I couldn't sleep, so I lay in my bed and prayed to die.
During summer vacation one year, Mr. Rice, our Shriner neighbor, re-introduced me to his
daughter, Joanie Rice, who was visiting for the summer from her home in White Plains, New York. She
was much older than I and was very attractive. She wore lots of makeup and jewelry, and wore a heavy
perfume called Royal Secret. During that time, my maternal grandmother who lived with us had to be
put in a rest home and my mother visited her every day, so Joanie, stayed to babysit me and played with
me by our pool in my mother's absence. It all looked like a nice arrangement from the outside, but her
presence was planned to further my programming. She taught me to be "dignified." I heard that word
over and over and over. She taught me social etiquette--to act polished, to have good manners, and she
was there to voice-program me when the men came with the equipment. At these times, she and a group
of men held me down on the couch, drugged me, placed a band around my head, which they retrieved
from a black briefcase full of special equipment including bright lights and machines which delivered
different sounds and instructions. I was given names of politicians and programmed with instructions
that, when I saw them on TV or heard them on radio, I was to become completely amnestic of who and
what I was involved in. She also programmed me from lists of numbers and codes. Other years, I was
flown to her glamorous apartment in New York. She escorted me to Washington, DC at first, so I
wouldn't feel afraid or alone and could work at my maximum capacity. My mother and I also began to
wear Royal Secret perfume, like Joanie.
Twenty-nine Palms
My family bought property in Twenty-nine Palms, California and built a small cabin on the desert
land. One weekend my father explained that my mom needed a little time to herself since her mother
had just passed away. I, too, was sad that my grandmother had died. My controllers told me she went to
the streets of hell as evidenced by the blood coming out of her face. She died of high blood pressure,
which caused the bleeding. But they said she went to hell and I hoped she would come back alive so we
could re-route her. But after awhile that didn't scare me because I knew my "Gram" didn't go to hell.
Although in a programmed state, my grandmother participated at times in my abuse, I knew she was
really a nice quiet, gentle woman, who like my mother, never would have intentionally hurt anyone.
So, my father took my brothers and I to our Twenty-nine Palms cabin and one day they involved
me in a sex ritual. They got me drunk, then stripped and tied me by my wrists and ankles face up in the
sand in the intense desert sun. They seemed so excited as they did this to me. My father painted a satanic
pentagram and green swastikas on my body. Later on, as it began to get dark he poured gas in a wide
circle around me and once it was really dark he lit a match which started a fire burning all around me. I
thought they were going to cook me. They put a half-dead, sandy, horned toad in my mouth and told me
to hold it there. My brother Rick was running all around in an excited frenzy and my brother Jim was
there also. At this ritual, in addition to traumatizing me, they were being taught how to be in charge. I
was raped by all of them and their friends.
My Future Marriage Was Arranged In 7th Grade
During this time, I attended Hale Junior High School, which was located directly across the street
from our church, the First Presbyterian Church of Woodland Hills. It was at Hale, in the 7'" grade (we
were thirteen), that I met Craig Ford (Robert Craig Ford). One afternoon, my mother picked me up from
school and I introduced Craig to her. After Craig left and I got into the car, my mother announced, "That
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is the boy you will marry." I laughed and asked her how she knew. She said she just knew. I never
questioned further. Craig asked me to go steady soon afterward.
Over the next several years, Craig and I were "bonded" to each other through crossprogramming
and shared trauma to insure that Craig was under sufficient mind control to later serve as my "handler."
A ritual at the First Presbyterian Church served to seal our bond, and soon other more sophisticated
means of programming were utilized.
White Programming Vans
Large white vans with men in suits in the back picked us up at differing locations in Ventura and
Oxnard, California, and directed us into the back of the van. Specialized equipment in briefcases and
other larger equipment in the van awaited us. They routinely beat Craig in front of me to demonstrate
what a weakling he really was and how powerful and in control of me they were. They would slap me
around in front of him, as well, to show him how powerless he was to help me and how much in control
they were.
Electroshock was used on both of us, first by inserting and activating an electric prod in my vagina
and then delivering the same to Craig on his penis. We were forced to watch in a dissociative, trance state
as the other was tortured and traumatized as they readied us for programming.
The bond that was formed by shared trauma was profound. It created subconscious feelings of
being in this whole mess together and enforced the feelings that we would never be able to get out. After
they had sufficiently worn us down, they strapped us into sophisticated chairs and hooked us up to
electrodes. Tones were combined with electroshock in order to create access cues that gave them quick
and easy access to us both later on. Hypnotic suggestions and love songs were presented to us, in order
to facilitate our "falling madly in love." In fact my controllers created an entire system of songs intended
to invoke selected, preordained feelings toward Craig and others. The list of songs was added to and
cultivated over the years depending on what attitudes and emotions they wanted to create within me.
These songs were some of the strongest measures of control and literally created what I thought were my
own feelings about Craig, but which really were contrived feelings created to support the interests of my
controllers.
Combined with scenarios such as this, my brothers and their muscle-bound friends would
intercept us when we were parked after a date to kiss. They pulled Craig out of the car and beat him up as
they instructed him not to touch me sexually. Then one of them would rape me in front of him as they
restrained him nearby, rendering him once again powerless to help.
All these conditioning experiences served to "prepare" Craig to robotically deliver and hand me
over to other men, then step aside while I passed messages or serviced them sexually. It was always his
job to make sure I was delivered to the right place, at the right time, to the right person, and for many
years, that is exactly what he did.
I didn't have sex with Bob Hope until later. Bob said the wait would do him good, "give him
something to look forward to," and then he would lean down and poke me and do that ole' softshoe
dance. He did that often. He said, "I like my fruit ripened, not plucked before its time." At other times he
would say to his friends when I was around, "See, I know how to pick my fruit, huh?" Then he'd say, "Hey
kid, get me some grapes," and I'd go get them and he would show off how cute and efficient I was. He
was always showing off my new acts. He would say, "Do your Coca Roca dance." So I'd do a dance. Then
he would say, "No, the other Coca Roca," and I'd take off my clothes while dancing. Or he would have me
sing I Enjoy Being A Girl, which was a song I sang for a junior high school performance and later for him
and others.
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The Theater in the Round was built and opened in Woodland Hills and drew large crowds to
watch the live action plays that were performed in the round theater. I attended the plays often and it
was there that I was prostituted to Bob's friend, Sammy Davis, Jr. It was a brutal event that I "forgot"
about as soon as he was through with me.
"Love suffereth long, and is kind..." -- 1 Corinthians 13:4
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Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
Chapter Six: JFK and the Sex Shuttle
During a demonstration of the high level of technology available to those willing to join the ranks,
Henry masterfully delivered a slide presentation of the mind control technology. I sat in the darkened
room in "park mode," with my conscious mind seemingly blocked from the information, yet carrying out
the command of my master to perfectly record all that went on around me. First Henry flashed a slide of
me in my normal California life. He said, "Who in their right mind would believe that this kid was having
sexual relations with the President of the United States?" The men agreed. Then he followed by a series
of slides of me artfully made up, dressed formally and in different disguises. The men were amazed at the
difference.
Many men were brought into the cause simply because they wanted to own a piece of the rock and
have their own robots to do their work or create their pleasures: At first they were given just bits of
information at a time, to determine if they would be cooperative. Then they were given a little more
information to test the waters to see if they were ready for the final blow. Usually dozens of meetings
occurred on superficial levels before any real information was given out and that was only released when
the men were "deeply committed," which meant that they would be compromising themselves or their
family if they backed out at a certain point.
In the beginning when Henry was cultivating my relationship with JFK and insuring him of my
security guarantees, Henry didn't fill me with much of an agenda except to give JFK the "royal
treatment," which meant the same as Bob's (Hope's) full smorgasbord of sexual positions and favors.
Henry told me to carefully note everything JFK said and did for debriefing afterwards. Henry had a
challenge with JFK because as he said, "he's so damn self-initiating," and so Henry couldn't have me take
the lead, thereby slipping in comments intended for Henry's covert purposes. So for awhile in the
beginning, he just let me be with JFK so that he would get used to me, and Henry said, "Then a plan will
inevitably open up."
Kissinger didn't spend a lot of time with JFK. They spoke but it was like they were "...polar
opposites and constantly repelled each other," Henry said. But Henry, and especially Bob as the front
man, got to JFK and paved the way for his acceptance of me. Once we were in, then Henry started
strategizing heavily. That is what happened after I began having sex with JFK. Henry said, "Mind files
were created to delight the young president." As Kissinger counted on, JFK was a romantic and seemed
to get caught up in many of the messages I delivered to him. The messages made him feel good and
Henry wanted him to feel good and powerful with me. I was delivering high level Council messages
created by Bob and Henry, that Henry instilled in me to deliver to "John-Feeee," that's what I called him.
They got a war underway through JFK, a big war that was to influence not only America but also the
international climate.
It was as common for foreign dignitaries, heads of state, senators, congressmen, governors, and
other leaders, to ride the Lincoln Memorial (Oral Sex) Tour, as it was for them to get their shoes shined
in the local hotels. In fact, that was one of the jokes I was instructed to deliver to get a man loosened up. I
was programmed to say, "Want your shoe shined?" Then I would unzip him and begin. There were lots of
men who wanted further servicing later on, but I was instructed to refer them to my boss.
I serviced many men on this so-called shuttle service over the years of my life that should have
been filled with junior high, high school and college extracurricular activities of my own choosing. The
elitists I worked for had an endless supply of slaves that kept the tour shuttle running regularly. I wasn't
really giving tours, just sex in the limo. The men felt safe and protected from public exposure by their
placement in the back of the limo because they couldn't be seen due to the security windows. They had
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privacy when they exited the limo so they wouldn't be exposed. Security employees would always await
the arrival of the shuttle limo to open the door and coach them out when the "coast was clear," then
transfer them immediately into their own personal limo so no one would ever detect.
There were times when Henry would have a driver take us from DC to his office in New York. He
would work with me in the back seat after he told the driver, "I'll be busy working and I don't want to be
interrupted." So the driver shut the window between the seats and Henry would debrief me and take
sketchy notes, draw diagrams and plans while I was talking or he would touch his finger to my forehead
and start uploading me for future assignments. Much of our work took place like this on drives between
places usually just before or after I had been used at the White House or other places. It was convenient,
as well as a security measure, because he could account for his time spent with me by saying, "I was en
route to NY or DC," or wherever he was going, and since I was on the same time track as Henry it was all
very time efficient, and concealed his activity and connection to me. To Henry the efficient use of his
time was everything. He told me, "When people can master their use of time, they have the secret to
success." He often talked on and on to me about his ideas, events and people, using me as a sounding
board, completely assured that I couldn't ever break the security programming necessary to remember
his conversations.
Henry said I was much more than his efficient secretary, I was a "diplomat extraordinare." I wore
a brownish tan wool suit, tailor-made by my mother, to my first meeting in the Soviet Union. Henry
taught me then that the Soviet Union, USSR and Russia basically all meant the same thing. He also told
me that my mother was always with me giving me strength and maturity, and that I could feel connected
to her by wearing the suit she made for me. I guess I was emotionally needing to be older than 10, my
actual age at the time. So he bolstered me maturationally by mentally tying me to my mother. It was
funny because if I wore wool pants or a wool jacket, I would scratch myself and I couldn't stop it. And no
matter how many times Henry gave me the hypnotic suggestion, "it's not scratching you, the material is
soft and smooth on your skin," it still itched. So my mom had to line everything she made for me that
was wool.
JFK rode the L.M. sex tour regularly and while I was down on my knees he would pat me on the
back and say, "You are really going to move up the ranks." Or, "You're really going to amount to
something when you grow up, kid." He loved lunch-time oral sex and the secret service agents rode in
the front with the limo driver and chewed him out royally for, as they said, "...breaking stride that is
nullifying National Security, Sir."
To calm the disgruntled Secret Service agents, Jack would laughingly explain, "Relax, I deserve a
relaxing lunch break, that's all." I can still remember his accent so clearly.
JFK was really gutsy. He would even sneak me into the White House for "nooners." Sometimes
there was another sex slave with me and when we'd get up to the bedroom he would say, "We're just
furthering your training so you'll be top-notch when you grow up." He taught me, "A man likes a woman
who's aggressive sexually. My wife doesn't satisfy me. She just lays back and waits. But a man likes a
woman who takes charge." Then he would lay back and wait for the two of us to stimulate him, at which
point he turned into an animal. Jack said he was training me for the future. I didn't know what that
meant. He said I was serving my country by meeting the needs of their leader. He said, "By easing my
stresses you help me make better decisions." Touching the tip of my nose he continued, "So young lady,
you are very important to our nation." I was just out of braces.
JFK had a lean muscular body and a hairy chest. He worked out on the rowing machine. On one
occasion as we were lying in bed together, he said to me, "You know, we both have the same kind of
teeth." I reached out and put my hand into his mouth to feel his teeth and he was right, we both had big
teeth--only his were more squared off.
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JFK also liked anal sex, like his brother Ted. After he found out I was with Ted he asked me what
his brother was really like. When I explained that he hurt me, he just shook his head and said, "I never
could understand what happened to my brother. We both had the same parents, but we did go to
different boarding schools and had different friends." He further explained that they didn't see their
parents often and that their family had so much money that they chose the school that was the most
fitting for their sons and sent them there. So as he explained, there weren't many family interactions. He
said he felt lonely a lot when he was growing up, that he was closer to the maids and nannies than to his
parents. He said, "The Kennedy Clan publicly appears to be a close knit family, but I never saw my
parents except on holidays when they would meet in Hyannisport and us kids would be flown from our
respective schools to meet them. It was more like getting reacquainted with strangers than meeting my
family. Everyone was awkward and we really had nothing to talk about. I went out in a boat we had there
and spent hours alone, playing all by myself. I was estranged from my brothers also because none of us
lived together so when we came together we didn't know each other. Usually by the end of the holiday,
we were friends again -- like real brothers -- but then it would be time to go back to our respective
schools and it would start all over." Then he added, "I don't know why I'm telling you this, you're just a
kid yourself and wouldn't really understand." He looked shy and vulnerable as he said, "I'm sorry for
telling you all this."
I smiled and said, "It's okay." It seemed to be the fact that I listened and couldn't think to talk,
that made these men feel good. All they really wanted was someone to really listen.
JFK never caused physical injury to me. He wasn't violent, just aggressive sexually but never
brutal like his brother Ted. JFK liked all kinds of sex. He liked things varied, nothing routine. He got
bored easily and asked for new things all the time. We had sex in many places. He got high on taking
risks ...the riskier the better. We even had sex in a public bathroom somewhere in DC. On those
occasions, the Secret Service Agents were doubly mad at him. They would totally freak out and say to
him, "We could loose our jobs when you pull one of your little disappearing stunts." And they would be
really upset, sweating and nervous because as they explained, they'd been running all over the city
looking for where he had ducked them. Jack just told them to relax, that he was fine and that they still
had their jobs.
I went on late night walks with JFK in DC. Sometimes the cherry blossoms would be in bloom and
it smelled so sweet. The Secret Service agents followed close behind us. They seemed irritated to be on
duty for JFK because he was so uncooperative and unpredictable. We walked by a river or waterway. He
really enjoyed seeing it at night and said the exercise did him good. The Secret Service agents
complained of being tired and hated having to get up at 1:00 or 2:00 a.m. to go outside with him. But
when the President left, they had to go with him. I don't know where Jackie was, but she wasn't always at
the White House the nights I was brought in. Jack would sneak me to his room and supposedly no one
knew I was there. Like I explained, he loved taking risks.
Sometimes I had difficulty understanding exactly what Jack was saying because of his accent and
at other times, I wouldn't be able to hear for awhile from the noise of the helicopter or plane I had been
flown in on. My hearing would feel muffled, like I had earmuffs on.
I felt so much older than my young years, but then I was totally physically developed by the 5th
grade (ten years of age). The personalities that were created to be with JFK were created to be older and
more mature than my actual years.
During my years at Hale Jr. High School there were times Henry Kissinger preprogrammed and
sent me in with a message to deliver while I was prostituted to JFK. I was a cheerleader and was
prostituted to the boy's coach along the way. I had a group of girl friends that were part of my Girl Scout
Troop and one of my friends was named Beth. I wasn't ever allowed to go to boy-girl parties, but I went
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to a lot of sleepovers. Many times I didn't end up staying overnight, but was instead shuffled off for a
quick rendezvous to the White House or to Massachusetts or wherever the higher ups wanted me to go to
be with JFK.
I called him "John-Feeee" (pronounced "John F.E."). Craig was "president" of the Student Body
and it may have been a cover for my White House presidential use.
Beth's mother was an attractive petite blonde woman and she was hardly ever home. I think
Beth's father was a pilot and maybe her mom was a stewardess, but she was gone most of the time. Beth
had older sisters though and so they counted as adults in my protective mother's eyes, so I was allowed
to spend the night when Beth's mother was not at home. One day I walked home from school with Beth,
as she lived very close to Hale. We messed around and listened to records, and then, suddenly, I became
upset and told her I wanted to go home. She said her mom wasn't there to drive me and she didn't want
me to go home, but I called a number from her kitchen phone and a yellow checkered taxi came to the
house and picked me up. Beth followed me out the door crying and said, "Do you want me to call your
mom?"
"No, I'll be home in a minute anyway." I handed the driver a note I had in my overnight bag and
he took it from there. I was driven to LAX. The airport was much smaller in those days, but still busy on
Friday's and weekends with lots of traffic. The driver dropped me off in front of TWA and asked if I
needed any help. I said no, I was fine. I walked up to the desk and told the woman my name, "Sharon
Weatherby," and she had a ticket waiting for me. She asked if I knew where to go and pointed me in the
direction of the gate.
I usually flew TWA, United, or Continental on national flights - not international - and I even had
a little pin with wings, that a pilot who knew me gave me because he said I was an honorary stewardess.
He had sex with me on the way back from assignments but no one had sex with me before JFK. There
were usually pilots on commercial airlines that were "regulars," which meant they knew me and were
instructed to keep me under their wing. Sometimes I helped the pilot on flights, but usually I slept up in
first class. I think one of these pilots could have even been my friend's father, and he was told to keep an
eye on me. I usually curled up in first class and slept for the long flight. When I arrived at the airport in
DC, I was met by different people. This time it was a blonde lady in a uniform and she walked me out to a
waiting black limo and opened the back door for me to get in. I did and she put my bag in next to me.
This was before I met Craig so I was eleven or twelve years old, going on twenty-five.
I wasn't taken directly to JFK but was taken to the area where they operated the "Lincoln
Memorial Shuttle" (oral sex ride). A limo pulled up and I was whisked into the back of it. Once inside I
saw that "JohnFeee" was there and he said hello and began tickling me. He played with me and teased
me a lot. Then he pulled me over close to him and said, "Now it's time to be more serious." And he
started kissing me and slipped his hand inside my shirt and felt my breasts. Then he unfastened my bra
and pulled my shirt up and began sucking on my nipples. He said that really got him hard to see young,
firm breasts and he circled my nipples with his fingers. I didn't like it when I saw his wedding band on
his hand while he was doing that to me because even under mind control, I knew who his wife was.
Henry had told me to emulate her and so I felt bad... like here was this innocent, beautiful woman and I
was having sex with her husband and there was a feeling of guilt--even under mind control.
That day, JFK took sexual initiative and liked being in charge. Before he closed the window and
left us alone, the driver had said to him, "Jack, don't you think we should connect back up to your
security?" meaning the Secret Service.
JFK said, "No. Hell no. I deserve to have a life." And so we toured around the city while "John-
Feee" got himself warmed up--sucking and licking me all over and I gave him a "preview" of the coming
event by way of oral sex, backing off just before he orgasmed. He loved to run his tongue over my belly
because he said, "I love young, firm, tummies," and he loved mine especially because he said it was so
tan. He said I had a "golden tan."
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After awhile, JFK tapped on the inner window in the limo to get the driver's attention and said,
"Stop here."
The driver said, "Here, Sir?"
JFK commanded, "Yes," and opened the door and grabbed my arm and took me into this small
motel. He already had the key to a room and went right to it and opened the door. It wasn't a very nice
place but he said we wouldn't be looked for there, that "certainly no one would come looking for the
President in a place like this," and then he laughed, lit up a cigarette and sat down at the small table and
chairs. Taking a puff off his cigarette he said he wanted to take a break to "enjoy the view" and indicated
I was to take off my clothes in front of him.
Slowly, I began removing my blouse and then my skirt, bra and then my nylons attached to my
lacy garter belt and then my panties. I had on those plain white ones and for some reason he liked them,
so Henry had me wear them with him. Then I stuck my finger into my vagina while I had one leg
propped up on the bed and the other holding me up. Then I put my fingers to my mouth and that's when
he jumped up and came over to me and said, "You're a big tease."
I smiled seductively and he put his arms around me and held me for a long moment and then
when he moved back I began unbuttoning his shirt. It was a bit stiff like it was heavily starched and then
I rubbed his chest and belly and talked to him about how his hairy chest and hard belly turned me on. I
put my fingers in my mouth again. He said, "I'd like to be where those came from." I can remember his
accent so well. He laid me back on the bed after he pulled the sheets back and he began oral sex. I told
him how hot I was for him and began wiggling and moving all over, while I moaned. He said I was
making him dizzy and he came up and began kissing me passionately, hard, almost roughly. Then he
went inside me and satisfied himself. After he came he pulled back and said, "Sorry it couldn't have been
longer, but I've got to get back." So he dressed and stepped outside the door and whistled. The driver
came right up to the door. He went out and opened the door for me, and we got into the limo and left.
The driver dropped him off at another limo to a bunch of Secret Service agents all in a tizzy over where
he had gone. He shut the door and walked into the center of them without saying goodbye or
acknowledging me.
These agents were really angry with him. I could see him using his hands and speaking to calm
them down. JFK escaped from his Secret Service agents often. I heard one of them say one time, "I don't
know how he does it, one slip and he's gone."
The driver put the window back up and drove me directly to the airport. I picked up my bag and
he let me out and said, "Will you be needin' anything, ma'am?"
I smiled and said, "No thanks, I have everything I'll need." And I went to the ticket counter and
said, "You're holding a ticket for me? Sharon Weatherby?"
Handing me my ticket the man smiled and said, "Your gate's in that direction."
Henry had me think of the gate numbers as the numbers on billiard balls and all I had to do was
follow the line of numbers until I got to the one that matched my ticket. Sometimes I got lost but
someone always helped me, often saying, "Excuse me, miss, but are you lost?"
I'd say, "I'm looking for gate eight," and they would point me in that direction. Once I got onto the
airplane it seemed like there was always someone there to watch over me and I would go back to sleep.
The return synchronization between my mother and me had to be perfect and this time I was driven back
to Beth's house to wait by the curb for my mother.
The driver said, "Just sit here and wait, your mother will be here any minute." He pulled away
from the curb and went and parked nearby. I saw him watch until my mom picked me up. She, too,
always waited for me to get picked up when she dropped me off at places. Everyone always waited to
make sure the exchange had taken place and I was in the correct hands.
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JFK was my first presidential assignment. After having sex with Bob Hope in his 50's, a younger
President wasn't as bad. Sharon was the personality programmed to be with JFK and due to the reality
that was created for her, she had a lot in common with him, like being Catholic and from an elite family.
One time Bob arranged for him to have some time out with me in Key Biscayne. Bob flew me there to
take care of him, keep him happy and entertained. The Secret Service agents stood outside. JFK started
by shaving and I sat on the counter and watched him. I giggled and hugged him while he stood in front of
the mirror with a small white towel around his waist. I licked the shaving cream off his ear and then put
my fingers into the remaining shave creme and licked it. Gently, he took my hands away and laughed
softly as he explained that you weren't supposed to eat shaving cream. I thought it was whipped cream,
like I had tasted in the pornography I was filmed in, and mistakenly was triggered into reciting my
program, "Lick it and suck it, 'til it's all gone, yum, yum don't miss a drop, or you will stop; your heart
that is." This must have been a program glitch because I wasn't suppose to recite this program out loud;
it was supposed to just drive me from inside. Maybe JFK knew how to handle me nicely because of his
sister who seemed like she was retarded. They didn't let her out much, and later I was glad when they
didn't have her at their reunions, because I didn't understand what was wrong with her.
During this time, I wasn't allowed to eat as much sugar as I had been previously used to. I was
told to be repelled by it and that, even as my hand reached for it, the sugar would move away and I
couldn't ever get it so I should quit trying. Before this programming I was used to eating tons of sugar, so
it was a major adjustment. Also, my mother used to get so angry with me for not eating enough at
mealtimes, but I couldn't, as my programming dictated. She said I didn't eat enough to keep a bird alive.
But when I tried to eat I usually felt sick.
Catholic girls had to act proper and Jack never had any cause to be embarrassed by my actions.
He was spunky and aggressive and tickled me a lot, often until tears were falling down my cheeks. Then
he would lay me on the bed, kiss my tears away and start having sex with me. He said he liked my short
hair - that it was stylish - and he would play with my hair and mess it up. I'd just get it done again; in
those days I didn't even know how to do my own hair. I never had to, my own personal hairdresser, a
family friend, came to the house and washed it, cut it, curled and styled it.
Afterwards, JFK and I ran around naked, playing like school kids, and when it got dark we walked
on the beach and the Secret Service agents always walked close behind. Boy did they get an eyeful. They
would wink at me sometimes if I turned around to see if they were still there, when I was getting ready to
make a move on John-Feee.
One night, Henry let me off at the White House to target JFK. I didn't go up to his bedroom, we
had sex in a room near the kitchen that had two beds in it. I had on a short white crop top and low hip
hugger jeans. My belly button showed and he said it turned him on. He would stoop down and lick my
"bare spot," he called it. His pronunciation sounded funny to the personality dedicated to him because of
his accent. I was tan and slim, and he said he liked that my tummy was flat. He said he hadn't had such a
flat one in awhile and it turned him on. After we had a quick sexual encounter, I had to hurry to get my
clothes on and exit real fast. He would open the door and look down the hall to see if the coast was clear.
Then he would say, "Okay, now." And, I would run down the hall, out the door and down the steps to
Henry waiting for me in the limo smoking his cigar. He would usually say something derogatory about
JFK and tell me to button my clothes correctly. My bell bottoms had buttons on the front and if I was
rushed I had trouble getting them buttoned right. I was always skipping a button. Henry would look
down at my buttons and tell me to straighten up. Then I would button them correctly. I couldn't help
that JFK had rushed me - I think he enjoyed that part as much as the sex. He seemed to like the
adrenaline rush.
There was a very close call on another night. Jackie was down the hall calling out, "Jack, Jack,
Jack!" Looking surprised, he grabbed me and put me in the closet, fixed the bed and answered her
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quickly before she opened the door. You could hear the sound of her shoes when she veered off the
hallway runner and onto the wood floor. I was in the closet when she came in the room and asked, "Jack,
what are you doing?'
I heard him laugh and say he was looking for John-John's shoe. He said one was missing. Jackie
asked him to come upstairs and he told her he would just look for a while longer and then he would be
up. This guy actually let his wife out of the room, pulled me out of the closet and started having sex with
me again, this time with more passion than ever before. He seemed to thrive on the risk factor. When I
left, the Secret Service agents usually walked me from the White House down the block to a waiting limo,
unless Henry was waiting for me outside.
Henry was cultured. There were little blue vases with flowers in the back of his shiny black car.
They had a little light next to them and you could see the flowers in the dark. If after one of these
escapades I began talking silly and sexual, Henry would give me the sign to hush up by simply buttoning
or zipping his lips and then I knew to be silent and obedient. I could be turned off or on, volume up or
down. I ran very mechanically like a Rolls Royce. Henry didn't like noise or children so he created me to
be quiet and dignified. As I grew older it wasn't as hard because I was more fully trained and didn't get
my personality switching messed up. I got used to being silent with Henry. But it was a difficult
transition after I was in the presence of JFK because he was wild and noisy, and his playfulness put me
in the same frame of mind, until Henry toned me down.
Why JFK and His Brother Really Got Shot
JFK had ties to Frank Sinatra and his group. I was shared around all these type groups because of
Bob's and Henry's influence. The Kennedy’s were highly mob connected, especially Bobby, as surprising
as that might seem for the family man image he projected. JFK took a mob dispute with him clear to the
White House and attempted to use his political power as President to shut down his enemies. He
publicly appeared to go after the Mob, but he was interested in shutting down only one enemy faction.
But he had to publicly say he was going after all underworld crime in order to be able to legally do what
he tried to do: dismantle the Mob that opposed the Kennedy family clan. I overheard Joe Kennedy
yelling at JFK at a family reunion when he was President. He told him to stop messing with the Mob, to
leave it alone, that he didn't know what he was doing. It was shortly after that that Joe Kennedy had a
stroke or brain seizure, and Rose blamed Jack for causing it.
Joe Kennedy was very happy with the marriage of Jackie to Jack because Jackie brought with her
a faction of mob that would help build up Jack and the future Kennedy dynasty. At least that's what I
heard him say. Joe Kennedy was big on mob connections, like his friend J.P. Morgan, who was an
important mob buddy and supporter. They supported each other.
As Joe Kennedy got weaker, the tight rein of coexistence he held with the Mob began to loosen
and his sons became sloppy and careless, and didn't take seriously the rules of the Mob. Like Uncle
Frank (Sinatra) said, "You don't ever try to go against the Mob or you'll wind up in the morgue or worse
yet, sleeping with the fishes." I was born into Uncle Charlie's mob connection and he heavily influenced
my life because of his arms, munitions and drug connections all over the globe. These were some serious
connections that made him sought after by members of the Council. In those days, the Mob made the
money and powerful connections. Different mobs supported each other like allies from foreign countries
do. They were the power behind the Council, initially - the connections that allowed the Council to get
such a toehold, as the mobs worked cliqueishly for or against one another. The Mob provided important
funding in the early years, but later the Council took away much of their power over monopolies when
the Council outstripped them of their power through intelligence and outsmarting them with technology.
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The Mob couldn't begin to compete. In the beginning the Council knew how to work the different
factions of the Mob for the Council's benefit and gain. Once the Council attained the strength they
needed to get over the hump and into the big money, they outsmarted the Mob with their mind control
technology and were then able to control the Mob. It was a game of intellect and the Council woncheckmate!
Joe Kennedy, William Randolph Hearst, J.P. Morgan and others were part of a powerful
underground group. They created their own revenue and their own justice, and they knew how to play by
the rules to stay alive and in the game, but the rules suddenly changed with the power created by the
Council as they utilized the Mob's success and made it their own. People like Jack (JFK) didn't play by
the new rules so they got snuffed.
Often when I was sent in to target JFK, I would be loaded with messages from the different
mobsters like Uncle Frank (Sinatra). I gave instructions for JFK to do some favor for the Mob or else, he
was told, "the small, sweet favors will dry up." JFK scared me because he always laughed and acted like
he didn't take the messages with the seriousness I believed they carried. I had seen Uncle Frankie in
operation and he had friends, lots of them, who killed people for nothing much at all, and I was afraid
that if JFK didn't listen and do as they said that they would kill him, too. But he didn't seem the least bit
concerned about them ...ever. I took them even more seriously after JFK was killed. Then I knew they
weren't joking but were very serious and meant what they said about doing everything they said or be
killed.
I heard Uncle Frank talk often about people's positions in the Mob. He talked to lots of Mob
buddies in front of me. I was used for dangerous connections and, as far as Frank and Dean Martin were
concerned, I knew far too much, so they wanted me to "sleep with the fishes." But Henry wouldn't hear
of losing his "personal computer" and threatened serious retaliation if they harmed me. Henry had a new
kind of power that the Mob didn't understand at first, until they got burned a few times. Then they
understood. But some serious action had to be taken to prove this power, like, as I overheard, "the
assassination of a President and his big mouth brother who just wouldn't listen," in order for the Mob - a
strong political faction of it - to see where the new power lie, so they would know to back off. By then the
banks and newspapers were taken over and reorganized by the Council and their constituents, and HIGH
LEVEL TECHNOLOGY took over - something the Mob knew nothing about. It took the wind out of their
sails. This was happening during the 60's and early 70's, when I was only a teenager approaching early
adulthood, and listening and recording everything I heard per instructions from my boss, Henry
Kissinger.
One day in his office, Henry said, "You won't be servicing him (JFK) much longer. The higher ups
have some alternate plans for him." At the time I felt he meant death. Henry said, "This will lock you in
for life." Later, they used JFK's death on me heavily.
When JFK was killed I was in junior high school and my controllers told me, "If we can take out
the President without anyone knowing, who would miss the likes of you?" They told me I was
dispensable, easily replaceable, and that no one would ever miss me if I were gone. To give me a clear
example the suited man reminded me, "Does your mother even have a clue where you are right now?
NO. So who would miss you? Not even your own mother."
In order to insure that I was under program and their total control they continued the ritual
torture and trauma. Then they tied the ritual trauma that occurred at home or at the church across the
street from my junior high school to songs or hypnotic commands, like "If you try to begin to recall this
area of your mind, you will immediately recall this horror scene," which they reminded me of in
complete detail, in order to keep me terrified and programmed.
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Most people are now familiar with Marilyn Monroe's connection to the Kennedy family and her
use with the President. It has been said by insiders that Marilyn was one of the first programmed
Presidential models, created under mind control for sex with the President and use in Hollywood
connections. While I did not possess the physical beauty that Marilyn Monroe did, I had the mind files
and all the right connections to further my controller's interests.
For my assignments, when I wasn't flown out of LAX, I left from Van Nuys Airport, John Wayne
Airport, or local helicopter pads that were atop buildings in Los Angeles. My mother took me and picked
me up and nursed me back to life if I was hurt or really messed up mentally or psychologically. She
would try to make me eat if I couldn't and she put me to bed. I was usually so out of it from the food and
sleep deprivation and electroshock done for "National Security purposes" to keep memory of the events
safely away from my conscious awareness, that I often couldn't think to bathe, eat or get into bed to
sleep. My mom would tell me what to do and the parts of me that participated in these escapades always
felt so relieved to be back in my clean bed at home. In my attempt to create some semblance of safety
and security I slept against the wall to remind myself I was in my own bed and safe. That was, until my
father came into my room at night-then the nightmare started all over again. More than anything in the
world I wanted my mother, or someone, to help me--to protect me--to stop the nightmarish experiences.
But she never could.
I will do everything in my power to stop these atrocities from happening, so that my daughter, my
sons, and any future children born into our family will not have to suffer any longer. I am sure the Mob
with their huge capacity for family love and loyalty will understand and pardon this need I have. And to
Dr. Kissinger, Bob Hope, UCLA, CIA, NASA, U.S. Department of Defense and all those who participated
in my family's high-tech programming, I ask that you honor this request for my family's freedom and
safety. I will hold you in prayer, asking God to show you the ramifications of your actions.
"Be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath
forgiven you." -- Ephesians 4:3
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Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
Chapter Seven: All the way with LBJ
Lyndon Johnson was a very tall and large man. He had a pocket watch on a chain that he wore in
a high pocket in his vest or coat, not in his pants. He wore glasses to read. I remember him sitting at his
desk reading on into the night. The rest of the room was dark except for the light on the desk that he was
reading by. He liked to wear his hat even when he was inside. He just loved his hat. He told me his hat
was a Stetson and that back where he came from it was the best... "Like a Cadillac," he explained. His
clothes smelled of cologne and his suits were often gray or brown and he often wore boots. He wore big
white baggy boxer shorts and they didn't ever look new, as one would think a person in his position
would wear. He had a bridge with a few false teeth on it, smoked a cigar at times and other times he
puffed on a pipe.
On this occasion, he kept me in the bed in the darkened hotel room while he sat at the desk to
finish up reading his papers. Then he turned off the light and came over to the bed where I was tucked
in, wearing a skimpy teddy. It was cold in the room. All Lyndon had on was his boxers and brown socks.
He laid his clothes by the table and chairs, and when he walked to the bed he pulled his penis out of the
hole in his boxers and pulled my head over to him. He commanded, "Suck," while he pulled my hair to
bring me closer to him. He stood, moaning with pleasure and then complained that he was needing to
bend over too far so I got up on my knees and finished. He gratified himself in my mouth and liked to
watch me swallow. Then LBJ climbed into bed and held me like I was a teddy bear and asked me to rub
his back. One time he had me get out of bed to get him a cigar. He wanted me to light it but I wasn't very
good at it because I was just a kid. I coughed a lot and nearly choked to death, but I got it to him in bed
all lit. I handed him the cigar and he said, "Thank you, little lady." He usually called me that. He didn't
want to go to sleep right away and had me turn the TV on for him. He never took his socks off the whole
time.
One time when I was with LBJ he asked me questions about school and seemed to like to hear me
talk about it. He also liked for me to wear my black and white saddle shoes. I had very shiny patent
leather ones. This was during the time I was still attending Hale Junior High School. Lyndon liked that I
was very young. At this time I was around 12 or 13 years old. I was with him quite a few times.
Another time my father took me to Texas on the flight back from Iowa. That's when LBJ showed
me his Cadillac convertible. He kept it parked in a separate garage away from the ranch so it wouldn't get
so dirty. "Hell, everything gets coated with dirt on the Ranch," he said. He had on his dress-up cowboy
clothes and said that "Lady B" was off at some china convention. He drank beer in the car when we went
on a "joy ride," he called it. I sat next to him and gave him a "super-duper," which was complete oral sex
gratification. He said, "Be careful, I don't want to get any on the seat."
I laughed and teasingly said to assure him, "I know. I'm an expert in this area. Remember?"
"Well you sure do have spunk, I'll say that for you," he replied. LBJ smelled but not like body
odor; it was just a strong male smell. He had his arm up over the back of the seat and we only rode for as
long as it took to satisfy his sexual urge. Then he took the car back and had me keep my head down so no
one could see me. I didn't go inside the ranch and when we got back he said, "This is as far as you go,
little lady." I let myself out of the car and slammed the door. "You could have waited for my assistance,"
he said.
I laughed and said, "I can do it myself." A suited man escorted me into the back of a black sedan
that was waiting under a tree at the front of the ranch and I was taken away.
Another evening as I waited for Lyndon, dressed scantily in a black lacy bra, garter belt, black
nylons and red high heels, he declared I was making smoke come out of his ears and that, "it shore
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wasn't from his cigar." He wanted me to keep turning around and around and around while he looked
at me. "My, my..." he said, licking his lips and as he put his hand to his mouth he continued, "My Lord,
what do we have here?" The heavy stench of his cologne and smokesaturated clothes followed him over
to me as he told me to bend over the bed with just those garter belts on and he stuck his penis in my
bottom and then into my vagina but I had to give him oral sex in between, "to clean it off," he explained.
It was disgusting and vile, even under mind control. Then we had intercourse and he liked it when I
made noises. He had a cattle prod or some sort of electrical device nearby but didn't use it much. When
he pushed the lever it made a crackling sound and what emerged looked like a jolt of yellow fiery-type
electricity. He said he didn't have to use it with me much because I was so good.
He asked me if I liked what I did. I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Yes," but due to the mind
control I was under I was unable to really think about his question. He told me he loved the young ones,
"...beautiful little lady." He liked to kiss open mouth but he tasted yucky like cigars. His private parts
smelled, too. But then there was the cologne to cover up the smell. He was pretty fat from my perception,
but big and tall. Lyndon had a medium to small penis for his big body, but he said he used it well. He
wasn't really hairy and the hair on his head was thinning. He used something like Vitalis on what was left
of his hair when he combed it. I think maybe that is why he kept his cowboy hat on all the time, even in
bed.
I usually slept all night with him because he wanted me to. He slept really close and held on to me.
I spent the night and then in the morning I was taken home. When I was in the 10'" grade, I spent the
night with him more often - even sometimes on school nights. I didn't go to school until 11:30 a.m.
anyway and no one could ever seem to tell I had been gone. Sometimes I missed a full day of school and
no one at Hale or Taft High ever said anything to me. Another form of trauma was added when one day
after school, I was forced to watch as the men in suits roughed up my junior high school principal.
I was taken to the White House to be with Lyndon. One night he told me all about this lady named
Agnes who he loved before Lady B. That's what he called his wife, "Lady B," instead of Lady Bird. He said
he never got over Agnes, just couldn't forget her. He said Lady B fit into his future plans and worked out
better but that he just really loved Agnes. When he talked about Agnes he had a goofy faraway look on
his face.
Lyndon told me his wife had grown to act old early on in their marriage when something of a
maternal nature happened to upset her. He said from then on she wasn't much for sex, so he took care of
his needs elsewhere. He told me so much personal stuff that I think he must have forgotten how young I
was. A lot of what he told me I didn't really understand. But I listened, apparently to his satisfaction,
because one day he complimented me by saying, "You are a very good listener, young lady."
Lyndon also liked for me to cuddle on his lap while he fondled me in an armchair as he watched
TV. He usually covered me with a blanket. It made it more secretive and he pretended people were
present in the room with us watching but they didn't know what we were doing. Then he would ask me if
I liked it.
I would smile and was programmed to say, "of course," or, "do more," or, "you're so big." He loved
it all. I wore Unforgettable perfume with him. It was pungent and strong but he liked it. He especially
liked sex when I was menstruating - he said it turned him on. He liked to do all sorts of perverted things
to me during that time, which I don't feel comfortable sharing here. He also suggested that I do whatever
I usually did for the cameras and take charge of our sexual activity. "You're in charge of the whoring,
little lady," he would say as he smiled and tipped his hat. That hat was such an important thing to him.
He talked to me a lot and told me all kinds of stories over the time he was President. He liked for
me to call him "Prez." He said when I called him Lyndon it made him feel guilty about Lady B so he said
to call him Prez and I did as he commanded.
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Sometimes he wore those dumb elastic things to hold his socks up like Bob (Hope) did. He looked
so ridiculous wearing those dumb socks, his boxers and his hat, while he sat and smoked. He must not
have cared what he looked like. The room was always kept pretty dark. He said he was most comfortable
like that, but my eyes would adjust to the dark and I could still see how silly he looked. The teen
personality programmed to be with him during those times was respectful and performed as her
programming dictated, but through her teenage eyes, felt he was just a dork.
I did things that made him laugh. They were really dumb things but he seemed to like them. Like
once I pulled my hair over and around and onto my upper lip and scrunched my lip up, pinching the hair
under my nose to make it look like a mustache. Silly things made him laugh.
He tested my programmed capabilities. He burned me with a cigar one time, because he said he
was told to try it to see what happened. He looked pretty amazed when I took off my clothes, sat down,
got into position and told him to go ahead and stick it in, that it wouldn't burn me. So he pressed his
cigar to my vagina and it didn't burn me. The pain didn't even register - "it didn't even hurt," is what I
told him. That made him turned on and he said, "Little lady, you give me a big boner." He told me there
was an endless stream of young ladies who liked his "big boner."
He liked the song that goes, "I'm a long tall Texan, and wear a 10 gallon hat." He also liked Born
Free and Burt Bacharach's Raindrops Keep Fallin' on My Head and Blue, Blue, My World is Blue. He
also liked hot dogs and hamburgers, but hot dogs best. And he told me he liked dachshunds, those little
wiener dogs. I often felt like a dog with him because he was always patting my head. I joked with him
about it and started barking when he patted me. I could really get off-the-wall with him and he seemed to
love it. He laughed and laughed like Nixon and Reagan did at the silly things I was programmed to say
and do. I don't know if he was aware that I had been programmed with most of the jokes.
The men in suits usually took me to him at a hotel. They put me in the room to wait for him. I'd
say the suits were the Mob, but Secret Service agents waited outside the door once the Prez got there.
Once we were alone I was programmed to say, "Hey Prez, got a big boner for my little pussy
today?" He would get all excited and start kissing and licking me. Yuck, it was gross. But it was the
saddle shoes that really got him every time. He liked me to wear my school-type clothes and so I did. I
was helicoptered from somewhere near Woodland Hills. Usually I was not flown in on a big commercial
airline to see Lyndon. I don't know why but it was usually private planes. Then I would sleep with him all
night and be flown back to California. There were times when, after I was used, the men in suits would
let me out of the car near school and I would have my school clothes on from the day before, and I would
just walk to school and go in like nothing had ever happened.
One time when I was sent to Lyndon, somehow I ended up wearing the St. Christopher metal that
my programmed boyfriend Craig had given me for going steady. The men in suits would have normally
taken away any personal item of this nature, but for some reason they missed my necklace this time.
Johnson examined it and asked me what it was. Unable to think to lie, I told him it was a necklace my
boyfriend gave me. Immediately he looked depressed. So I climbed into his lap and told him not to worry
that my boyfriend couldn't hold a candle to him and that I was forced to be with my boyfriend, but that I
choose to be with him. He smiled, pulled his hat down over his face, and leaned back in his chair
ordering, "a blow job a-la-carte." So I performed as commanded. He said most women didn't love it the
way I did.
Lyndon thought Texans were the best and most powerful type of men. I was taken to Texas to be
used sexually by the Prez at a cabin or ranch out in the middle of nowhere. It had fences and horses and
a woodcabin type house, but there were hardly any trees or greenery, like in California. The cabin was
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wood inside and he had a lamp that was made out of a bootleg. He loved it and I teased him about it,
"Who's leg ya' got there holding up that light?" On a table there was a picture of Lady B that had been
taken at the Ranch. We had sex there on occasion, because, as he explained, it was a place he could go
and not be seen or bothered by anyone. The Secret Service could guard him well there since there was
nothing else around and no one had any business going there unless they knew LBJ and had been
invited. Despite the security there, LBJ often wore a small gun strapped to his leg by his boot. He said he
enjoyed carrying it. He waltzed me back to his room, to the bed he shared with his wife. He said, "By
sleeping here with you, when I'm f- -king the little lady, you can bet I'll be thinkin' of you."
There were white limos with Johnson. He liked oral sex when we rode in the back. He made the
Secret Service agents ride up with the driver instead of in the back with him and he would have them
close the tinted window behind the driver. He told them he didn't want to be disturbed because he and
the "pretty little lady were going to have a nice quiet chat," which in actuality was a sexual encounter.
Usually he was being driven to some location and upon reaching his final destination would debark the
limo, leaving me in the back, or I would be kept waiting in the back for more when he returned. He could
handle up to three oral sex encounters a day without any problem. He had his pocket watch on a chain in
his vest pocket and would check the time to inform me if we were rushed or not. Usually he would say we
were rushed which meant I had to work quickly and get him aroused and satisfied rapidly.
Later, he wanted me to dance cowboy style with him and I tried but wasn't very good. He said,
"Don't worry, you know how to do the most important things - you've got what counts." One day he gave
me an iris from an arrangement on a hotel table. He bowed and did a little dance as he held it out to me.
It was really out of character for him.
At the end of "the Prez's" administration, I was also filled with more mind file information. I was
taken to different offices in DC to be imprinted with more top secret, classified data by a female
administrator.
LBJ also told me that the White House was a very lonely place to live and that he really wasn't
very happy there. He said he was most at home in Texas at his ranch. Occasionally he had meetings there
and other men were present. I had to give oral sex to many of them. I was usually there for one overnight
and then driven back to town by limo, then flown home. Before I was put on the plane to California, the
men in suits always took me for a coke and french fries at McDonald's. This was part of my programming
to believe I was at McDonald's in California, so I wouldn't remember where I really was. The fries and
coke were delicious since my programming required that I was food deprived before and during the time
of my use. Then the men put me on the plane with the suggestion to sleep and forget. Because of our
programming my mom never noticed I was gone and neither did I ... not until 1991 ... over twenty-five
years later.
"This, too, is apart of "The Truth that will set you free. " -- John 8:32
Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories, pp 61-63
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Chapter Eight: Brain Surgery at UCLA took away my Father’s Free Will
Bethesda, Maryland
In my early teens, one of the places I was taken to was a hospital in Bethesda, Maryland. Two men
in suits met me at the airport, drove me there and waited while a nurse helped me out of the car and took
me into the emergency room. I was doubled over in pain, having trouble walking because the men in
suits had just slugged me in the stomach. They told the old greyhaired nurse in the pink uniform with the
little white apron, that I had appendicitis and to take me immediately into the emergency room. I don't
know why but the men put a blond curly wig on me. I had on blue jeans, tennis shoes and a T-shirt.
I was terrified and couldn't help myself. The nurse took me in and waved me through all the paper
work. Two doctors, clad in full surgical garb met me at a door to emergency surgery. They told the nurse
they'd take over from there and laid me directly on an operating table and put a mask over my face and a
needle in my arm. I had needles put in my arms all the time so that wasn't anything new, but it hurt.
They told me they weren't who they appeared to be and then they put me to sleep with some sort of
anesthetic, but parts of me from inside watched and knew exactly what was happening. There was great
fear that they would really cut me open and take out my appendix when I didn't need it taken out. But
instead, they put electrodes on my forehead, temples and head, and headphones on my ears that
delivered one sound to one ear and another sound to the other. Then they varied the sound volume,
quickly bringing the volume up so loud that it was excruciatingly painful. I felt like I would go crazy.
They kept delivering electroshock to my head. Then they inserted something into my vagina and shocked
me vaginally, then shocked my head, and they kept that routine up for what seemed like eternity. I could
smell the alcohol and could feel when they put a cold scissors-like thing up my nose. It tickled and
itched. Then a doctor said, "It's in place."
Everything inside of me felt psychedelic from the drugs they gave me. There were lots of colors
and flashes of light that caused a very unreal feeling. I don't know how long I laid there. Eventually, they
called for a nurse and told her to help me back out to the car. They said that I checked out fine, that I
must have just eaten something that made me sick. The nurse put my arm around her neck and helped
me outside. I had trouble walking but managed and she delivered me back to the two men in suits.
They, in turn, brought me to a darkened room all alone for awhile and then hooked me up to some
of their own equipment. I sat in a chair while they put a band around my head and wrists, and shocked
me while I listened to something they played through headphones on my ears. I couldn't understand the
words I heard, as they were all mixed up and it made me nuts to try to understand. Then they unhooked
me and said it was time to go home. I was put onto a military helicopter with two rotors, one at the front
and one at the back and transferred to another plane that didn't have regular seats like a commercial
airplane. There were just a few seats on either side and all sorts of straps and equipment on the floor. I
laid on the floor during the whole flight.
My mother picked me up at the airport and I slept in the back seat of our Cadillac all the way
home. She put me to bed and I could hardly move. I was in lots of pain and was nauseated, sick, and
exhausted for the next two days. I couldn't eat or get out of bed. I just slept it all off in a hazy, drugged
sleep. Mom just thought I had the flu again.
There were lots of times I was taken to places for programming. They had all sorts of schemes to
get me to the programming sites - even getting me to pull my car over to the side of the road, after I
learned to drive. I remember how one man told me to get out of the car, while another man pulled my
hood up before taking me away in an ambulance to Westlake Hospital. Then they flew me from there to
wherever they wanted me to go.
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I remembered an incident where I was on an operating table and I saw a whole roomful of women
like me who were also laying on gurneys with white sheets over them, and we were all linked up together
through a single wire. There were mirrors all around and while I was deprogramming I realized that
these other women were all parts of me; they all looked like me but had different lives and different jobs.
That's what my programmers told me in order to create and enforce my multiple personalities.
Sometimes there were groups of doctors or scientists watching from chairs in a circular arena that
extended upward. In this setting the doctors made presentations on their findings in order to display the
research and show their progress so they could get additional funding or permission to do more mind
research into areas they wanted to explore. The stage where I was being tested and displayed to the
doctors in long white lab coats was low and as I looked up there were rows of ascending circular chairs in
the arena from where they watched. Sometimes while I laid on the gurney, they would shine lights into
my eyes and tape them open so I couldn't avoid the lights. They blinded me with one color for a long
time, like white, and then added in another color like red or green. It was painful, so I escaped like I had
been trained from birth to do, into mental dissociation so I couldn't feel the pain. Often they paired
electroshock with the bright lights and music or word phrases. At appropriate times, they displayed a
picture of Craig onto a holder in front of me while I sat in a chair that spun around and around. They
played love songs while they spun me and when I came to a stop, I would see the picture of Craig and feel
relieved. They told me Craig was my lifeline and to sever a connection with him was equal to death. Later
on in my life, they did that sort of programming with my children's pictures.
My Father Has Brain Surgery
UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute 1967
The summer of my 16th year, our family physician, Dr. Stoddard referred my father for brain
surgery to UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute. Dr. Robert Rand was the Neurosurgeon who performed the
operation. My father never had a chance. Suited men came to visit and monitor us at crucial times. They
were always watching and they gave him shots in his thighs and then asked him questions over and over,
and told him what to do with me. Very scary and frightening events happened there to keep me further
under control. I can only imagine what they did to my father's brain. The day before his scheduled
surgery, a nurse came into his room while the whole family was visiting before surgery. He held out a box
and explained very matter-of-factly that the hair in the box was my father's, just shaved from his head,
and in the event that he didn't make it through the surgery they were keeping his hair to put back on his
head in his casket. These insinuations, coupled with the ritual abuse I had previously endured, were
enough to further dissociate me. There were other horrifying events performed to frighten me into
further dissociation, creating even more control.
My mother and I were told to wait in the hospital lobby until they came to tell us the surgery was
over. They called a code name for me over the loudspeaker and responding to the call, I walked up to my
father's hospital room. A doctor in a white coat met me in the room and said he wanted me to enter the
surgery room and watch. As I entered, I saw my father with his head cut open, with tubes in him
everywhere; in his head, in his nose, in his arm, and they told me that my father would no longer hold
authority over me. Now he was totally under their control and, now they would be in total control of me.
Then they strapped me into the bed next to him and gave me some sort of gas through a mask they put
over my nose and mouth. They told me to turn my head so I could watch everything they did to him that
day - they took my real father away from me and the doctor said that they would be in charge of
everything that happened to me and all my progeny from then on. I didn't know what that meant, but I
knew it was bad. They performed some sort of surgery on me, too. They inserted something under my
nail bed and later they told me they moved it somewhere else and I would find places on my body with
skin flaps where I figured they had put them in. They tested and experimented with implant after
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implant on me. With some implants they were trying to see if they could totally control me from a
distance.
Later when my mother came to look for me, she found me sitting in my father's room bent over
with my head down to my knees, while a nurse standing by me explained, "She fainted, that's all. She'll
be all right." My father made it through surgery and was placed in intensive care.
Soon after, my controllers told me my father had died in the surgery, that all I had to do was
remember how he looked with his eyes closed to realize he was dead. They told me that my 'real' family
would take over now and that I needed to understand that it was really best that way. And, although
everything outwardly appeared to remain the same, nothing ever was again. The life essence of my father
was totally gone; he was not in control of himself any longer. My brother Rick took over the family
business and I began traveling more, internationally.
Months after my father's release from the hospital, he came into my room and sat down on the
floor next to my bed while I was studying. Upset and very emotional, which was very unusual for my
father, he said, "Honey, big things are happening and I've lost control of you." Tears were streaming
down my strong father's face. I didn't know how to react. My macho father never cried. I couldn't think
to question him or to wonder just what it was he was trying to tell me. So I let it go, along with hundreds
of other questions and thoughts that any normal, unprogrammed daughter would have thought to ask.
Institute Of Higher Learning
Sometime later, I was taken to a hospital in Montreal. My controllers called it an "Institute of
Higher Learning," but instead of higher learning, I was put in a hospital gown and kept drugged and in
restraints. A very important French personality inside of me was created and enhanced there. If I didn't
cooperate they put me into a padded cubicle in the dark until I "came to my senses" and began behaving
properly. I'd seen over the years just what they had done to my father and I couldn't take anymore. I had
nothing to lose by not cooperating. From one of his personalities that was 'in the know' and before brain
surgery took his free will away, my father told me, "You don't have to do anything they say honey, they
want to take your mind." Years later as I retrieved pieces of my memory that allowed me to see the bigger
picture, I remembered numerous occasions when my father laid in programs to help me exit my abuse.
He even gave me suggestions to heal and bring my personalities together. I've often wondered if this was
a more significant contribution to my successful healing than I could ever imagine.
"All that is now hidden will someday come to light!" -- The Living Bible.
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Brice Taylor - Thanks for the Memories
Chapter Nine: They didn’t see me as Human
Sweet Sixteen
Bob Hope was one of the first high-powered men Craig 'delivered' me to. This, of course, was by
no means my first meeting with Bob, but it was a test for Craig and the first time my young 'handler'
would use the programmed skills he learned to take me to my assignment. For my 16t' birthday present
in 1967, Craig surprised me with a trip, by train, to the San Diego Zoo for the day. Consciously we were
programmed to be committed to a non-sexual relationship, waiting for our projected wedding date to
consummate our marriage. At least that is why we thought we were only spending the day, and not the
night in San Diego. Due to our programming, neither of us had any conscious awareness that anything
other than that was occurring.
We boarded the train, and after a while Craig delivered me to a private car where Bob Hope,
Senator Alan Cranston, and a couple of other men were waiting. Craig left me with them and then
robotically left the room. I had sex with each of them as the others watched. They were all old men, even
in those days.
Later, Bob said he had a little job for me to do and the next thing I knew I was in a big office with
wooden floors and a desk with an American flag beside it. When Bob introduced me, I shook hands with
the man behind the desk. He impressed me then as an important man, like the President, but he wasn't.
Bob left me alone with him. The man asked me all kinds of questions and I told him that I had been
insurance company bonded as a requirement of my Christmas employment in a jewelry store. He seemed
to like that. He also wanted to check out my body. Following his instructions, I removed my clothes and
he 'checked' me all over by feeling. He put his hand behind my neck and pulled me over to him and
began kissing me.
This dark-haired executive was much younger than Bob. He turned me around facing away from
him and I could hear the noise of the zipper as he unzipped his pants. He pushed me over at the waist
and began having sex with me from behind. He explained that he was checking the fit. I didn't know
what that meant but was very embarrassed, as evidenced by my red cheeks. He commented on how he
liked it when I blushed. He said it meant that I was naive and innocent, and explained he liked them that
way. When he was through 'questioning' me, he opened the door and went and got Bob. He told Bob that
I'd be fine, that he was very pleased, and went to his drawer, took out a folder, and wrote out a check. He
carefully put the folder away, handed Bob the check and said, "Here's a check for the cause." I didn't
know what that meant either but they shook hands and both seemed pleased.
When we left in the limo, I couldn't see where we were going, because Bob pushed my head down
on a man's lap for me to perform oral sex. The rest of the day was a blur. I didn't know where my
boyfriend Craig went or if I would ever see him again. I was exhausted when we finally got 'home' and
that night I 'slept away' all memories of this experience just like I had been programmed to do.
During my teen years, I remember Craig and I would lie around my backyard pool for hours,
swimming, talking and playing. At the time, that was all I consciously remembered. But, when I woke up
to reality years later and began recalling what fully happened, I remembered Craig holding a small
brown bottle with a dropper in it. He put some of the clear liquid from the bottle onto a piece of celery
and peanut butter and gave it to me to eat. After I did, everything kept moving, like a movie, except each
frame was moving in a fractured, uneven, hazed way. It was hard for me to even walk to the pool. I bent
over, my stomach cramping and everything was spinning. I wasn't suppose to notice that he had given it
to me, but I did, and later I remembered other tunes.
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Happy Daze
By the time I entered William Taft High School in Woodland Hills, my life began to change even
more dramatically. Due to the mind control I was under, I constantly had a smile plastered on my face
whether I was happy or not. The ritual abuse became minimal during this time, done only on occasions
that were required to maintain my mind control. Through a vast array of the latest in human
programming technologies, I was well on my way to becoming a total and completely compliant, efficient
and multi-tasked robot.
Looking back now, high school felt like one big blur to me. I remember having only one close
friend at a time, and knowing that I was "popular" but never feeling that way. Instead I felt ugly, stupid,
awkward, shy and set apart from the other kids at school that were my age. I was made part of the
Student Council so that I would have a public school image. Often my picture was posted on walls to
announce upcoming events, or to announce contests I was entered into. My presence leading and
organizing certain school functions served to allow many of the students to know who I was; yet very few
students really knew me or were close to me. A whole strategy was devised to keep me popular in the
eyes of my schoolmates and most of the faculty by making me a continual face or body by plastering
pictures of me all over the school; yet, I was not in attendance on a very regular basis. Henry said it was
for my protection, so others would feel below me and many wouldn't even approach me as if I was a
celebrity, and I was instructed to "act" that way also. I was known in school, without ever really
"knowing" anybody because of the projected image that was publicly created for me. I felt isolated and
alone, in a daze, like I really didn't exist.
I was programmed to act snooty and too good for people, to remain very aloof. Yet I was deeply
locked into my own inner world, constantly mentally working to keep all data filed correctly in all the
areas Henry created. I was so inwardly focused that I had a very hard time in the physical world, hence
the reason my mother did everything for me at home. Henry told me to spend all my time tending to the
mental files. And while my mother did all the domestic chores, I did as Henry commanded, often floating
on a raft in our backyard swimming pool, sorting mind files all the while in a trance state. I had many
mental exercises Henry assigned for me to perform at home. The system he created and used during my
16th to 22nd years was extensive and required mental work to keep organized, cleaned and neat. Henry
said it took mental muscle to keep the files in complete order.
I was elected Vice President and then President of the Girl's League Association at school, and was
part of the Student Government. I was voted 'Princess' at the prom, was paraded in a convertible at a
football game and had my picture pasted all over the school for fashion shows and contests I was in. But,
I never felt like I belonged; I just felt like a robot, living in a complete fog, and looking back that is
exactly what I was.
As Girl's League President, I was in charge of a fashion show that was called "Tivoli Gardens," a
foreign affair that was so named in order to scramble a lot of the international work I was doing with
Henry abroad. They even used times I was supposedly buying flowers in downtown Los Angeles at the
flower mart as a scramble. My mother reluctantly accompanied me on the stage at the fashion show to
introduce the models. She was so shy and embarrassed but she did it for me because I asked her to.
Henry had already taught me to see the audience in totality as one person I was comfortable speaking
with and to begin my speech as if the two of us were alone. And I was instructed to wear my speaking
dress to give me confidence and poise. Armored with these inner crutches, I could speak with no
hesitancy, no shyness, and no apparent problem at all.
I also spoke publicly for Henry at other occasions where he would load me up and book me a time
slot on stage. Sometimes it was a debate between fellow robots on political issues but I wasn't trained
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like they were - I was trained only to deliver. Many others were adroit at debating, but I wasn't. So I'd
go up on stage, deliver my pre-programmed speech, everyone would clap and later Henry would say I did
a great job. But I had to have on my speaking dress, and no matter what I was really wearing, it became
"my speaking dress." If he was present, Henry commented before I went on, "My, you look lovely in your
speaking dress," and then my speech would be internally engaged and I'd be ready to deliver. I
performed in these ways for many "show your latest technology in robots" shows. After I passed those, I
got to move on to more diplomatic matters.
Henry used me to warm up groups that his constituency was going to speak to and I often wore
several different disguises and always looked different. Henry was the puppeteer and I was his puppet
and at anytime he wished, he could pull my strings and make me change into a different puppet, with a
different face with which to meet the public. And like Mr. Potatohead, he could order what kind of face
he wanted me to put on. "Squint your eyes a bit, curl up the ends of your mouth, flair your nostrils, pull
your jaw forward"...all sorts of different facial mannerisms and contortions that I was programmed to
perform, combined with wigs, glasses, body padding, hats, etc. It was all quite effective as I played my
role creating different faces to present to the public. Not many people know about this technology yet
and Henry said we had a definite edge on the others. He said that it was always important for us to strive
to reach greater and greater knowledge and awareness, to stay ahead of the pack in being the first, the
best, and the brightest in our latest endeavors. He was constantly experimenting with me and adding
things like archival information and classified documents, in order to have the latest information to draw
from.
Henry said, "You're the leader of the pack in this diplomatic endeavor and as such we will
continue to update your system in order to insure that you stay "the leader of the pack." In a hypnotic
session, he said to me, "Each and every time you hear the song, "Leader of the Pack," on the radio, you
will think of the motorcycle bikers only and will remain in the dark otherwise." The word "dark" was
internally linked in my system to all sorts of ritual horrors and terrors, thereby plunging this information
that was subliminally linked to it deeply into the recesses of my subconscious mind. I could not
consciously retrieve it; yet it ruled my actions. In this way the ritual tortures that I had endured as a child
and as a young adult at my church were linked to these other memories. They tied the ritual trauma to
these memories by saying, "If you begin to recall such and such, you will immediately recall the ritual,
and they would go into great detail to remind me of the tortures that happened at those rituals. They
used the ritual tortures on and off at strategic, necessary times to either bring to the forefront an old
group of personalities, or to create a new group. A traumatic ritual could effectively create a whole new
group of alternate personalities, since it was such an extensive trauma. Henry often spoke to his
colleagues on this subject, advising them when and where to use trauma. Henry consulted with other
men who needed guidance as to how to create and maintain a robot or group of them, as in Bob Hope's
case.
Bob had a whole group within me, eight personalities at one time, but Henry advised him to cut it
down to four because he said he couldn't effectively maintain that many until the level of technology
rose, allowing for more of the programming and maintenance to be performed by machine rather than
by man. Henry said my prototype was not new but was highly expanded and more technical and he was
building on an older model of a sex robot and mind computer prototype, combining them within me in
hopes of expanding technologies and coming up with a more versatile workable model. He actually
viewed me as a machine.
Dr. Olmstead, our principal, gave me orders in his office. When he did I would go into robotic
receiving mode and record all the data he gave me. I transferred what was appropriate to my blue inner
calendar and filed the rest of the information into the suggested files for use at the correct time. My
Student Government (Student Council) teacher, Saul Rowen, would drive me, to catch a plane or, more
often, to a helicopter port where I was then transported to a government approved shuttle plane to
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Washington, DC or New York. Usually I was taken to Nixon for sex and to straighten out his often
dour attitude and then to Henry and the research team for further instruction.
Back home Dr. Stoddard prescribed a continuous supply of the antibiotic Tetracycline. He said I
had to take the medication so I would not have pimples. I never was able to question this at the time,
could not think to, but realized later on, as I healed and integrated, that I never suffered from any type of
acne and must have been given this antibiotic to insure I did not infect the government leaders with any
"social diseases." He also prescribed mood elevators and mild tranquilizers for me during times when I
was extremely depressed as a teenager. These helped to keep me "happy." During the times I was being
used by others, they utilized personalities that were cheerful and energetic, so my moods were never a
problem. Dr. Stoddard also gave my father shots of testosterone to boost his sexual desire.
Looking back, my high school years had a very unreal feeling to them. I didn't eat much in those
days, in obeisance with programming, and was very thin like the popular model of the time, Twiggy. I
had programs in place that guaranteed that my physical body would maintain a perfect size 6, or less,
and usually in those days I wore a size 2 or 4. If I ate very much I became nauseated and could eat no
more. When I went for a few days without eating while I was on assignment, my stomach shrank and so
it was difficult to eat much, plus I would often be very sick and shaking from the high voltage I was
subjected to. My mother often got into my twin bed next to me and held and rubbed me to get my body
to cal