You are not
Your Physical Body; You are Not the Physical Matter: You are Energy!
Sun in Elliott
Heads rivermouth, 20Jan 2010
Any
material inc. pictures connected with the writer of this website can be
taken from this website!
Link
to Site Map listing other articles, books and useful
websites:
SITE
MAP
Non-visible
to the eye Ball of Energy in Elliott Heads rivermouth, 20Jan 2010.
There are also some anomalous marks on the left upper side (facing
Pacific ocean).
This book "Ultimate
Journey" can also be downloaded from this site (Printing,
Content Copying and Page Extraction are allowed on this website) :
These pictures are from a video on Youtube, but the address is lost.
The out of body astral flights are demonstrated very well here. The main energy and
information is entering through Crown Chakra on top of the head as a
blue stream of energy. Second
Body is joined to the physical body with the Energy (Silver) Cord (a
white cord), which would a guaranty, that you will come back
to the physical body. If the cord is cut or broken you would lose your
physical body, but it doesn't mean that you die. You will continue
living in your non-physical body in non-physical environment.
Second
(Energy) body can fly through : the centre of Earth, through any depth
of the oceans, through mountains and fire, through air and poisonous
gases, away from Earth to any planet or sun in our and other Galaxies
and Universes, LM!!!
These pictures are from a, very
much recommended by me, video on Youtube:
ARIAL
Dedicated
to
Nancy Venn Monroe
Co-founder, The Monroe Institute
and
the Hundreds of Supporting Friends
Who Have Provided Assistance and Love
over the Past Thirty Years
in the TMI Pursuit of Obscured KnownsContents
Foreword
Content
The Variable
The Long, Long Trail
Along the Interstate
Hail and Farewell
Recoup and Regroup
Inside and Outside
Tour Guide
Recall and Review
The Hard Way
Detached Retinue
Turning Inward
Inside the Inside
Fine Tuning
The Sum and the Parts
Long Trail A-Winding
16 The Roadside View
17 More Work in Progress
18 The New Direction
19 Taking Timeout
Glossary
The Monroe Institute
Research Papers and Reports
Going Home Series
***************************************
Foreword
Robert Monroe is a mapmaker. In Ultimate Journey he
seeks to chart that area which lies "over the edge," beyond the
limits of the physical world. He presents us with a map of the
"Interstate"—the route that opens to us when we leave our
physical lives, with its entry and exit ramps, its signposts and
its hazards. This he is able to do because he has traveled the
route himself; he writes from knowledge, not from belief.
Monroe's first book, Journeys out of the Body, was published
in 1971. Since then, according to Dr. Charles Tart, one
of the leading experts on consciousness and human potential,
"innumerable people have found comfort and help in the
knowledge that they weren't alone and weren't crazy just because
they had had out-of-body experiences." In that book
and its successor, Far Journeys, Monroe recorded his out-ofbody
experiences over three decades and established a reputation
as a trailblazer in the exploration of the far reaches of
human consciousness. Now in Ultimate Journey he takes theexploration a
stage further—though he would be the last to
say that he has reached the limit.
There is one major difference between this book and its
predecessors. Until now, the story has been Monroe's alone; it
has been his own adventures he has described, his own meetings,
dialogues, perils, and discoveries. In Ultimate Journey,
he tells how he found the route—the new
direction—traveled
it, and uncovered the reason and the purpose for this pioneering
expedition. And, most important, he includes the reports
of others who, through his new teaching program, have been
able to read the map, follow the direction, and fulfill the same
purpose.
Those who are not familiar with the out-of-body state
may find in this book echoes, significances, clues, or points of
recognition that may remind them of something that happened,
in a dream perhaps, in that twilight state between sleep
and wakefulness, or in a sudden moment of understanding or
insight when everything seems to fall into place and make
sense. Those who are familiar will, in addition, be aware of
the difficulty of translating the experiences into language that
is easily comprehended. All may know that it is possible for
anyone to follow this new direction if belief systems are set
aside and the mind is open and willing.
Monroe says that nothing in this book negates the validity
of its two predecessors, "which represent stages of growth
and are accurate according to the Knowns available through
personal experience at the time." His personal experience
while working on his third book, however, took a sad and
unforeseen turn when his wife Nancy was diagnosed with
Foreword
cancer. His search for the missing Basic was intensified by the
knowledge that for Nancy's sake there was little time to spare.
It is good to record that he completed his exploration and
found both the new direction and the missing Basic while
Nancy was still with him in physical reality, and that he and
others were able to apply the knowledge he gained to help her
in her own ultimate journey.
—Ronald Russell
Cambridge, England
****************************************
1
The Variable
Fear is the great barrier to human growth. It is said that
when we are born into this physical universe we bring with us
only two fears, of loud noise and of falling, both engendered
by the birth process. As we grow older we learn more and
more fears so that by the time we reach maturity we—or most
of us—are loaded with them. We have grown physically, but
our real growth, the realization of our true potential, has been
sadly impeded.
Unknowns create fears. We may fear the darkness because
we don't know what's there. A physical pain may create
fear because we don't know what it may imply. When these
Unknowns become Knowns the fears diminish and disappear
and we are able to cope with whatever confronts us.
All of us have enough Unknowns in our lives—and
enough fears. We have no need to look for more. Yet there are
times when we don't have any choice. Here is an example.
This is how it was for me—it is the source for the material
that follows.
1
It is generally believed that as we go through life we
don't really change. We just become more of the same. Barring
the usual exceptions that, as we say, prove the rule, when
we look around us as the years go by, this seems quite valid.
On the whole, people don't change, and most of us strongly
resist change.
Nevertheless, all our worries and wars are based upon
change. We fear that something will happen, or we fear that it
won't; so we fight to prevent change or to speed up the process.
But whatever we do, change is 100 percent guaranteed.
The only question is its rate. Slow change we interpret as
evolution, fast as revolution. Changes are the epitome of
Unknowns—
the greatest of fear generators.
In my own case, there seemed to be no choice. I fell,
unknowing and panic-stricken, into the process that engendered
the new recognition of reality—what I call the Different
Overview—that I now carry with me. The change in my life
was not simply more of the same. It was something that
hadn't worried me beforehand because I had no idea that such
things existed. Was this change in my life accidental or evolutionary?
To me, it was revolutionary.
In 1958, without any apparent cause, I began to float out
of my physical body. It was not voluntary; I wasn't attempting
any mental feats. It was not during sleep, so I couldn't
dismiss it as simply a dream. I had full, conscious awareness
of what was happening, which of course only made it worse. I
assumed it was some form of severe hallucination caused by
something dangerous—a brain tumor, a stroke, or impending
mental illness. Or imminent death.
2
Ultimate Journey
The phenomenon continued. I had no control over it. It
occurred usually when I would lie down or relax for rest or
preparatory to sleep—not every time, but several times
weekly. I would float up a few feet above my body before I
became aware of what was happening. Terrified, I would
struggle through the air and back into my physical body. I
was sure I was dying. Try as I might, I could not prevent it
from recurring.
At the time, I thought I was in reasonably good health
with no major problems or stress. I was fully occupied; I
owned several radio stations and other businesses, had offices
on Madison Avenue in New York, a home in Westchester
County, and, not the least, a wife and two small children.
I was taking no medication, used no drugs, and drank
very little alcohol. I was not particularly involved in any
religion, nor was I a student of philosophies or Eastern
disciplines. I was completely unprepared for such a radical
change.
It is impossible to describe the fear and the loneliness that
took over during these episodes. There was no one I could
talk with about it, not even my wife in the early days because I
didn't want to alarm her. Strongly attached to Western culture
and science in general, I automatically turned to conventional
medicine and orthodox science for answers. After extensive
examinations and tests, my doctor reassured me that there
was no brain tumor or physiological factor involved. But
more he could not tell.
Eventually I found the courage to talk to a psychiatrist
and a psychologist, both of whom I knew as friends. One
assured me I was not psychotic—he knew me too well. The
other suggested indeterminate years of study under a guru in
India—a concept wholly alien to me. I revealed to neither of
them, nor to anyone else, how extremely frightened I was. I
was a misfit in a culture of which I thought I was a part, a
culture that I admired and respected.
Yet the drive for survival is very strong. Slowly, very
slowly, I learned to control the process. I found that it was not
necessarily a prelude to dying, that it could be directed. But it
took a full year before I came to accept the reality of the outof-
body experience—now familiarly known as OBE. This
came about as the result of some forty carefully validated
OBE "trips," giving me—and no one else—extensive
documentation.
With this knowledge the fear soon receded, to be
replaced by something almost as demanding—curiosity!
Still, something had to be done. I needed answers, and I
was sure I would not find them in an Indian ashram. My
thought processes were the product of Western civilization,
for good or ill. Therefore, to provide systematic help to me
and also to gather information related to this strange "Unknown,"
I set up a research and development division in the
corporation privately owned by me and my family. This division
later was detached and became eventually what is now
The Monroe Institute.
Thus the original purpose was solely to solve my own
personal and urgent problems: to convert my fear-producing
Unknowns into Knowns if at all possible. That meant learning
how to control and understand the out-of-body experience.
To begin with, I was the only one I knew who needed such
4
Ultimate Journey
help, so the motive was personal and selfish, not profound,
idealistic, or noble. I offer no apology for this; I was the one
who paid the bills.
In a contemporary view, the OBE is a state of consciousness
where you perceive yourself as distinct and separate from
your physical body. This separateness can be two inches or
two thousand miles, or more. You can think, act, and perceive
in this state much as you do physically, although with some
important exceptions.
In the early stages of OBE activity, you seem to retain the
form of your physical body—head, shoulders, arms, legs, and
so on. As you become more familiar with this other state of
being, you may become less humanoid in shape. It is similar to
gelatin when taken out of the mold. For a short period it
retains the form of the mold; then it begins to melt around the
edges and finally it becomes a liquid or a blob. When this
happens in an OBE, it takes only a thought for you to become
totally human again in shape and form.
From this description it is clear that this "second body"
is extremely plastic. However, it is very important to know
that, whatever the shape, you remain you. That does not
change—except that you discover you are more than you
realized.
As to where you go and what you do, there seems to be
no limitation. If there is, we have not found it. In an out-ofbody
state, you are no longer bounded by time-space. You can
be in it but not part of it. You—your nonphysical
self—are
comfortable in another energy system. You have a great sense
of freedom. Yet you are not totally free. You are like a balloon
or a kite on a tether. At the other end of the cord—the
invisible
cord—is your physical body.
Early in our investigation, we realized that we live in a
culture and civilization where waking physical consciousness
is the most vital of all qualities. It is not easy to make a case
for any state of being that is different. A little inquiry soon
produces any number of anomalies which cannot be fitted or
answered within the confines of current Knowns or belief
systems—
bearing in mind that "belief" is a currently popular
label for anything that cannot be fully understood or identified.
We began to work on questions about consciousness in
general. What happens to it when we become unconscious
through a hit on the head, shock, fainting, alcohol or drug
overdose, anesthesia, sleep, or death? Is consciousness akin to
a magnetic field produced by an electromagnet that ceases to
exist once the electricity is cut off? If so, does it get weaker or
stronger if we vary the "electrical" current? If we do this, we
are doing it without any awareness of the "how" of it. How
can we control such action, if at all?
It is easy enough to raise these questions, which simply
beget more questions with no trace of an answer. We soon
became aware that a huge information gap exists. We needed
some premise that might indicate a direction to follow.
We moved away from seeking materialistic explanations
to look at the other end of the spectrum. What if consciousness
does continue when the current is reduced? Immediately
we began to find examples.
The problem is that when out-of-body we have lost con-
6
Ultimate Journey
sciousness and yet we haven't, our memory is or is not impaired,
some of our physical senses are working and some are
not, and so on. At the least, we don't have total consciousness
as we like to think of it, and therefore we don't regard this
state as valid. One body of thought holds that if you can't
move your physical body, or if it doesn't respond to stimulus,
you're not conscious as we understand the term. Or if you
cannot communicate by current standards you're not conscious.
Yet there have been many comatose human beings
who have continued to be conscious—they simply had not the
means to communicate physically.
Thus to explain, or explain away, all of the many physical
functions we perform without conscious awareness, our
culture had to invent nonconscious systems. These are identified
as autonomic, subconscious, limbic, and so on, including
sleep. Any activity we cannot willfully control is not within
consciousness.
At The Monroe Institute in the 1960s we began not only
historical research into aspects of consciousness but also study
of out-of-body events, mine and others'. We discovered that
many OBEs have been related to the sleep state and thus dismissed
as simply dreams—except that they do not fit the hazy
and unreal quality associated with dreaming. Other spontaneous
OBEs have occurred under anesthesia during surgery,
when the patient found himself six or eight feet above the
operating table and later reported accurately what he heard
and saw from this vantage point—a physical impossibility.
Events such as these happen frequently but for the most part
are never publicly reported.
7
Other incidental OBEs occur during what are regarded
as unconscious periods caused by accident or injury. Mostly
these are categorized as freak events and are tucked away in
memory as anomalies—or something that didn't really happen.
Our belief systems would not allow it to be otherwise.
Some of the most striking of the spontaneous OBEs are
now often identified as near-death experiences. Again, these
occur frequently, usually during surgery under anesthesia.
Most have the effect of changing completely the belief systems
of the patients, providing them with a genuine Different Overview.
They return knowing that not only are they more than
their physical bodies, but that, without equivocation, they will
survive physical death.
Our history is full of references to what we now call outof-
body experiences, including the language we use. You are
"beside yourself," "out of your mind," you "fall" asleep,
wake "up," pass "out." One of the very few relevant surveys
in the past ten years showed that over 25 percent of our national
population recall having at least one spontaneous outof-
body experience.
If you think about it, you may be among that 25 percent.
Can you remember having a "flying" dream, with or without
an airplane? Can you remember dreaming of looking for your
car among many others in a parking lot, finding it, and waking
up immediately after doing so? (We often subconsciously
look upon our car as an additional body.) Can you remember
having a "falling" dream, where you wake up instead of hitting
"bottom"? This is quite common when reentry into the
physical body is hastened by the ringing of an alarm clock!
8
Ultimate Journey
Until 1970 the whole research effort operated quietly, if
not covertly. After all, I was the head of a conventional business
dealing with conventional people. I was sure that any
public revelation of my secret life activity would bring doubt
of my ability to conduct responsible business affairs.
But I could not remain silent forever. With the publication
of my first book, Journeys Out of the Body, our work
began to attract much attention. We were able to select a
number of volunteers as subjects in our laboratory. Most of
them were able to replicate the out-of-body state so familiar
to me, using the methods we had developed.
During the 1980s, talks on out-of-body experiences were
given at various colleges and universities, on radio and TV,
and even at the Smithsonian Institution. Three papers were
delivered on the subject at the annual convention of the American
Psychiatric Association, the presentation being sponsored
by the University of Kansas Medical Center and The Monroe
Institute. Currently there are occasional cartoon jokes in magazines
based upon the out-of-body state as real. T-shirts have
OBE themes and even Bob Hope had an out-of-body joke on
a TV appearance. The reality of the OBE is slowly becoming
accepted, and the term "OBE" is now part of our language.
What are the Knowns regarding the out-of-body experience?
First, while there is nothing new about realizing that
you are more than your physical body, you now have a means
of proving it to yourself. We also believe that by applying
other criteria it can be proved to the scientific community, and
to the rest of humankind. To date, however, we know of no
way to do this except through individual personal experience
but we do know that the tools are available to perform this
verification.
A controlled out-of-body experience is the most efficient
means we know to gather Knowns to create a Different Overview.
First, and perhaps most important, among these
Knowns is survival of physical death. If there is a better way
than the OBE of knowing that this takes place—not just hoping,
having faith, or believing, but knowing—we are unaware
of it. All of those who become only mildly proficient in the
OBE soon reach this stage of knowing. In addition, such survival
takes place whether we like it or not, and without any
consideration as to what we do or are in physical life. It makes
no difference. Survival of self beyond physical existence is a
natural and automatic process. We wonder how we could ever
have become so limited in our thinking.
Next, the greatest barrier to proficiency in out-of-body
experiencing is fear—fear of the unknown and of physical
death. The attachment of our mind-consciousness to the physical
environment is very strong. Virtually all of what we think
is expressed in time-space terms. But now we find ourselves
faced with the need to translate something completely alien
into something understandable here and now.
The only way we have learned to ease these fears is to
move into the OBE process one step at a time, in slow motion,
as it were. This permits the novice to absorb and become
accustomed to small changes, and learn to know that such
changes are not dangerous or threatening to physical life. As
these changes accumulate, we help the student to look back
continually to complete physical awareness, so that there is an
10
Ultimate Journey
ongoing, familiar point of reference. Gradually the basic fears
are released.
Most important, the mind-consciousness present in the
out-of-body state is significantly different from that in physical
wakefulness. Initially, intellectual and analytical focus do
not seem to be present, at least not in terms we understand.
However, the insertion of physical consciousness changes this.
Conversely, the emotional extremes of the symbolic right
brain are often totally absent and are usually more difficult to
activate. (Love in a strict interpretation is not considered an
"emotion" in this context.)
In the out-of-body mind-consciousness, all of what we
are shows "up front" and out in the open, so to speak. There
is no sub- or nonconsciousness hidden under layers of restraint.
Thus there cannot be any deceit or deviousness because
all of us is on display. Whatever we are, we radiate the
facts. There is always some carryover from our physical
thought and conditioning, which we eventually release and
reject if it gets in the way.
It is perhaps equally important that we learn in the OB
state just how much more we are than our physical bodies.
The answer to exactly how and why we exist is readily available
if we have the desire and courage to find out. When we
search for information we may not like the answer we receive,
but we know we have the correct one.
If you want to prove—to yourself and to no one else—
that we survive physical death, you can learn to move into the
out-of-body state and seek out a friend, relative, or someone
close to you who has recently died. To find them, all you need
do is tune in on your memory of what that person was or
represented. Several such meetings will be enough. You will
have your proof—not for anyone else, but for you. You will
need to make this contact relatively soon after their passing
because most of them rapidly lose interest in the life they have
just completed.
Moving into the out-of-body state is an excellent means
of gathering information. One of the easiest information runs
you can make is checking on the welfare of a loved one. It is
also probably the most simple of OB targets. If you are separated
from your spouse or mate because of a business trip, for
example, it's very comforting to home in on her/him to be
sure everything is all right. For example, when one of our
daughters was away at college, I would occasionally drop in
during an OBE to see how she was getting along. However, I
made the mistake of telling her about this on one of her visits
home. A year later, she told me that after this disclosure every
night just before bedtime she would say to the ceiling in her
room, "If you're around, Dad—good night!"
Voyeurism is almost nonexistent in the OB state. There is
much more exciting action available.
You can go anywhere in any time, past, present, or future,
via OBEs. You can go directly to any chosen place and
observe what is there in detail and what is going on. At your
target site you can move around the area to observe from
different perspectives. The only problem is that you cannot
pick up physical objects—your hand goes right through them.
With this freedom you can follow the route our explor-
12
Ultimate Journey
ative research at the Institute has taken. You can go anywhere
on Earth, or in it and through it. You can move outward and
play around the moon and the solar system. It is beautiful and
awe-inspiring, but it can become monotonous. Thus we saw
and knew the other side of the moon before the NASA probes
took their pictures. It was the same with Mars, where we were
looking for artifacts such as buildings or structures that might
indicate some form of intelligent life. Some of us even made a
number of runs outside the solar system and usually got lost,
in the sense that we could not establish where we had gone in
relation to Earth. Getting back was no problem. The explorer
simply focused on his physical body. There is no speed-oflight
limitation.
If there are intelligent beings in the physical universe, we
failed to find them. Either they were hidden, or more likely we
didn't know what to look for. Of course, our exploration was
infinitesimal. Perhaps if we had investigated the further galaxies
we would have met someone out there. One day maybe
one of us will.
In the nonphysical universe, it was an entirely different
matter. We encountered hundreds, if not thousands, most of
them nonhuman. Exploration out-of-body is a prime means
for functioning outside the physical universe. The "second
body" of the OB state is certainly not physical. It is part of
another energy system that commingles with the Earth Life
System but is out of phase with it. The clue lies in how easy it
is to find those who have left physical existence.
When you look for action in this other energy system, in
the There, the effect is near-instantaneous. The system is very
well populated and you meet some special friends when you
become proficient in OBEs.
The highways and byways of out-of-body adventures
and exploration are broad and varied, for the most part beyond
ordinary time-space concepts. We can understand only
that portion which relates directly to the Earth Life System.
We may attempt to report the rest of it—and it seems
limitless
—but we have no acceptable or comparable baseline of
knowledge and experience to do this accurately. The problem
lies in trying to understand it and to translate what you
find—
to bring it back. Never be surprised when you return to the
physical to find tears running down your cheeks.
What has happened is that you have gone off the edge of
the Known map, and have returned with some previous important
Unknowns now converted to Knowns. You may or
may not convince others of this reality. Most do not try; the
individual knowledge is enough.
Think how such knowledge—not belief or faith—would
affect your own life pattern; the knowledge that you are indeed
more than your physical body, that you do indeed survive
physical death. These two Unknowns converted to
Knowns, with no conditions or contingencies—what a difference
that would make!
A Different Overview—a clear way of perceiving—can
make these into personal Knowns. And more, much more. So
unlatch your Security Belief Belt, grab your climbing spurs
and perhaps a machete—and let's hit the high road.
2
The Long, Long Trail
Throughout history, labels have been developed for those
who won't leave well enough alone: infidels, mystics, sinners,
rebels, revolutionaries, misfits, neurotics, anarchists, adventurers,
traitors, explorers, visionaries, researchers—add to the
list what you will. Any deviation from the accepted norm
engenders risk. All of these individuals have been for the most
part aware of the risk. If they were not, ignorance was no
excuse. If there was a price to be paid in reaction or effect,
they must or should have known about it before they
took action. No sad tears for the wounded or the dead in
such cases. I know this well, and you may discover it for
yourself.
So it must be said: the Different Overview you are beginning
to consider can be at most only a belief until you begin to
test it for validity within your own ongoing experience during
your life as an active Human Mind. As small beliefs convert to
Knowns, perhaps larger Different Overview beliefs will follow
the same path—until you are free.
From this point on, the delivery of a personal narrative
seems the most convenient and definitive method of explanation.
What to me are Knowns can produce only beliefs in you
unless you have had or are having similar experiences that
demand verification. Let me therefore attempt to tell it "like it
is" for me, allowing you to form your own beliefs which
experience may in time convert to Knowns.
In my personal run, thirty-plus years of out-of-body activity
had brought me to a calm state of satisfaction. A cycle
has been completed, or so it seemed. My own Different Overview
was well in place and eminently rewarding. Or it should
have been.
I knew where I came from, how I got here and became a
human, why I hung around, my final departure schedule, and
where I would go when I left. What else could have had any
importance? Anything else was mere detail.
And there was my INSPEC friend.
It was one thing to talk with such mind-consciousness in
sessions in a laboratory, as simply a voice speaking through
someone physical that you knew well. It was something quite
different to encounter one face to face. Either in fun or fact,
we had chosen the acronym INSPEC (for Intelligent Species)
to identify this energy form, which implied that we Human
Minds were something less.
But this INSPEC was not the same as those I had previously
met. Over the years I had experienced many nonphysical
meetings, communication and rapport with those who
were obviously very human, those who still possessed a physi-
16
Ultimate Journey
cal body, and otherwise. This INSPEC, however, was different.
Our usual meeting place was just past the H Band Noise.
The H Band Noise is the peak of uncontrolled thought that
emanates from all living forms on Earth, particularly humans.
If you consider it as truly all, even in a current time frame, you
get a better idea of the magnitude of this disorganized,
cacophonous mass of messy energy. The amplitude of each
segment of the band is determined by the emotion involved in
the thought. Yet our civilization does not even recognize that
the H Band exists.
My impression is that it contains not only current time
thought patterns, but all that ever existed. They are continuous
and simultaneous, and it may be that the older radiation
is layered over so all one perceives is the current emission.
To study it objectively, if one is so foolhardy, as to want
to do so, all one needs do is move to that state of disassociation
just beyond the last vestiges of any direct Earth-related
Human Mind activity in the nonphysical There. It appears
much like a reflective layer, beyond which the effects diminish
rapidly. Passing through it quickly is advisable, just as
one would try to work through a screaming, angry mob—for
that is what it sounds like, in a multitude of accents and
tongues.
Now back to my INSPEC friend. Here is an excerpt from
one of our earlier meetings when I had phased out of my body
and moved to a point just beyond the H Band.
I wonder if this being understands how strong his or her light
is. Could it be an E.T. (extraterrestrial) after all?
You will become accustomed to the light. You have the same
radiation to us . . . and we are not the extraterrestrials as
you mean it.
You read what I am thinking?
That is true. Just as you can with me.
I can?
You are doing it now in part, but only the surface part.
Yes, you are right. It is certainly not words and sounds . . .
no air to vibrate . . . but simply in the mind . . . yes.
What you call the core self does remember.
You know, I do remember . . . I remember you . . . the
feel of you . . .
It is good that you do not express fear. We can do much when
that barrier is removed.
Oh, I have a few fears left . . .
But they do not rule your perception. For example, why are
you not filled with fear at this moment?
I don't know. But I'm not afraid. That's true. Right at this
moment I am here, talking with you in a rational way . . .
with you, someone who is very familiar to me . . . a brightly
glowing figure that some people would interpret as a god, an
18
Ultimate Journey
angel, or at the very least some extraterrestrial. Yet we are
here talking just like two ordinary people . . . except that
we are not using words!
The difference is the lack of fear.
There is so much potential . . . Who are you actually? Or
maybe I should say, What are you? Now I do have the courage
to ask.
It is beyond your experience to understand at this time. But
you will understand, and very soon.
Can we meet again?
All you need do is ask for our help.
You mean meditating? Saying prayers?
The words and rituals are meaningless. It is the thought . . .
the emotion . . . that is the signal. If the proper signal is
given, we are able to help.
Let me be sure of this. You are not the god . . . a god . . .
but perhaps someone from another planet?
No, not from another planet.
Are you the one, or one of those who may have created us
. . . the Earth?
No. We are sorry to disappoint you. But we can give you what
we have in regard to the creative process. Do you desire it?
Why, yes. Yes!
This is what we have . . .
I was filled, almost overcome, with a surge of enormous energy,
an immensely powerful vibration of very high frequency.
This I knew as a ROTE, short for Related Organized Thought
Energy, a sort of ball of condensed thought and ideas.
It is so much! I can't understand it all at once . . .
You will, when you can examine it at leisure.
Thank you.
There was a pause before the INSPEC communicated again.
You are uncertain as to your progress, your growth.
I am uncertain, that's true. I think I know my goal, my purpose.
The uncertainty is what lies in between.
What do you perceive as your goal?
Well . . . I guess . . . service to humankind.
That is indeed a noble goal. It is the ever-present desire of
your human self to attain perfection. When you are no longer
human, desire focuses in another direction. But there are
other goals.
A desire more important? No, I don't mean that . . . a desire
different from the human experience?
You are doing very well.
I often wonder about that.
20
Ultimate Journey
You will find an answer . . . Now I perceive you need to
return to your physical body.
You do read my mind! I don't know what it is, but I have to
go back. How do we meet again?
All you need do is hold this moment in your awareness, and I
will be here.
Thank you.
The return to the physical was uneventful. The signal had
been generated not by the usual full bladder but by my favorite
cat lying on the pillow beside my head. I was sure I had
checked the room but somehow she must have sneaked in. In
my excitement, I wasn't in the least irritated.
* * *
After this particular INSPEC encounter, I began to take another
look at my goal of service to humankind. This had been
my target for many years, to help humans attain peaks of
perfection as physical beings not even contemplated by our
contemporary culture. To add a goal beyond this was indeed
exciting stuff. My Different Overview was a major factor in
this stimulation.
So I took a very hard look. To help someone else live
better while in physical form is open to serious possibilities as
to motivation. The implication surfaces that any such action
cannot help but be or become tainted with drives from what I
think of as the Animal Sub-Self, brought about by existence in
the Earth Life System. This is the very essence of the process.
The allure for Human Minds is near-inescapable.
I realized that the prime fallacy lay in a simple fact.
Whatever I did, whatever I wrote, whatever I said, would
have little if any effect upon human destiny. It was good to be
of service to those around me, but this was no more than
passing ego-gratification. Two generations later it would all
be forgotten, footprints in the sand washed away by the tides
of time.
The INSPEC was right. There had to be other, broader
goals. My search for a broad goal that drives every human
brought out one that was all too obvious. The nostalgia, the
yearning to go Home. It could be the physical place where you
were born and raised, the house where you lived, the town,
the city, the countryside. This could be no more than the
homing instinct that is present with variations in virtually all
animal species. Or it could be the many forms set forth in
assorted religious beliefs.
It might well be that much of our scientific endeavor is
inspired unconsciously by such motivation. The rationale that
billions spent on astronomy, space probes, radio telescopes,
and the like will affect our lives constructively in the predictable
future is a very thin premise. The unconscious desire to
find Home fits much better.
Eagerly I took what was a Known to me. My memory
was very vivid as to my source. My new goal became to go
and be in what I construed as Home. Twice I had been there
for short visits many years ago. All that I had learned while
22
Ultimate Journey
being human might be of immense value if I returned. Such
information could indeed effect major changes. It was a joyous
concept and I reveled in it.
Immediately I wanted to share this discovery with my
INSPEC friend. Late at night I phased out of my body and
headed for our usual meeting site beyond the H Band. Just out
in the clear, the shining figure was waiting at our contact
point. The INSPEC knew my thoughts instantly.
Your wish is to return Home. Yes, that is a different goal.
After this life, I will stay at Home and return to being human
for one last time, some thousand or more years from now.
After that, I will return Home to stay.
It is good that you understand the difference between yourself
visiting Home and yourself returning to being human, as you
put it.
Yes. But I'm not sure. About not being human, I mean.
As you remember more, it will become clear to you. You are
being human when your fundamental focus remains fixed
within such concepts of consciousness. If you change this fundamental,
you are no longer human.
I see . . . Thus I stay being human, awake or asleep, in or
out of body, physically alive or dead, as long as my reference
point is human.
That is correct.
But I retain all of my human memory and experience in whatever
state of being.
Yes. You have learned much. This experience is of great value
as a nonhuman. It is one of the basic purposes for your sojourn.
You will draw upon it in many ways nonhuman, but
your attention will be in another direction. The graduate from
the human experience is very respected elsewhere.
Does this mean that in what I remember as Home, I will no
longer be human?
You will be as you were before, but the human experience will
be added.
It comes down to being in the warm and familiar place where
I truly belong.
Your desire is very strong.
Yes.
You wish to be there again?
Sometimes I become emotional about it. But I know I haven't
completed this cycle yet, so it will come in time.
As you are now, time does not exist.
Is that an inference I can go Home now? For a short visit? I've
done it before, long ago.
If that is your wish. You desire to do this?
Yes. For a visit, yes!
24
Ultimate Journey
You will learn much as a result. Are you ready?
Yes!
Stretch your mind to there, what you know Home to be. Then
release from here and you will be there. I will observe and
assist if needed.
I thought of Home as strongly as I could, and released as
the INSPEC told me. There was sensation of movement . . .
a sound like the wind flowing around me. Before me . . .
around me . . . the scene came into view . . .
. . . many-hued cloud towers, just as I remember, only
they are not clouds . . . flowing in shades of glowing color,
every color I ever thought of and some I only remember but
can't express . . . let me just stop in the cloud and watch,
feel . . . not seeing, but feeling . . .
. . . and there is the music . . . a thousand instruments,
thousands of voices . . . melody weaving upon melody
. . . perfect counterpoint, the harmonic patterns I know
so well. Just stretch out and let the clouds enfold me, and the
music is all around me, inside me . . . a thousand years is
but an instant . . . but an instant . . . so relaxing and absorbing,
just as I remembered it. How great it will be when I
return to stay forever . . . forever . . . yes . . .
. . . a little worm intrudes upon my ecstasy . . . Is
something wrong? No, it's not a signal to return to my body.
But what? What's wrong with the clouds? Watch carefully
. . . there, the large bright blue, followed by two smaller yellow
ones . . . It's familiar! Others, and they are familiar too
What? That's exactly the same cloud frame . . . and
the others, they are all the same! It keeps repeating, over and
over again—the same patterns in a repeating loop!
. . . The worm, my analytical worm, gets larger. The
music, check the music . . . it can't be . . . but yes, it's repeating
. . . the same as I felt an hour or an eternity ago
. . . exactly the same. Let me try another spot, another perspective
. . . move to another part of Home . . .
. . . Here is good enough . . . this will make it different.
But no . . . it's just the same as it was . . . it's not different
at all! I'll move far away . . . far away . . . but still
here in my Home . . .
. . . There, that ought to do it. No, it's still the same
. . . nothing new, nothing different. The same pattern over
and over, the same clouds, the same music . . . Let me go in
deeper . . .
. . . There they are, a bunch of curls, curls of energy
playing games. That's more like it! I was such a curl once
. . . let me join in the game! Round and round . . . up and
down . . . in and out . . . round and round . . . up and
down . . . in and out . . . The game is like an endless loop
. . . round and round . . . up and down . . . No more,
that's enough for me, that's enough.
. . . How about playing a new game? How about
. . . ? Oh, happy with what you've got? Don't want to
change? All right, keep doing what you're doing . . .
Where do I go now? Where . . . ? That's all there is!
There isn't any more. But I don't want to lie around in the
same clouds forever, with the same music over and over . . .
26
Ultimate Journey
I don't want to play the same game over and over . . . How
could I have dreamed of . . . ?
There's nothing here for me now . . . nothing at all.
Now I remember . . . this happened to me before. This is
why I left . . . and I can't come back! I don't want to come
back!
I had better leave . . . I know how . . . I know how to
do it . . .
There was a feeling of movement, with the wind around
me again. Then silence . . . then fading easily into my physical
body. I opened my eyes and looked through the tears.
Nothing in the moonlit bedroom had changed. But I had.
I was unable to get to sleep for several hours, too stimulated,
too depressed.
27
3
Along the Interstate
It took me many weeks to adjust to the idea that I would
no longer be able to go Home. I had thought I would be
returning to a hero's welcome, bringing back valuable information
from Here to change and improve There. But it was
not to be.
I made no attempt to try to go Home again. I recognized
finally and sadly that this option no longer existed for me. It
became much on the order of a childhood recollection; something
to hold dear as it was, but not to relive. Clearly much
ego and ego-gratification were involved.
But one Known did emerge. I knew why I had left.
A further visit with my new INSPEC friend helped
greatly. He—or was it she—or both—was
waiting, a familiar
bright spot in endless blackness.
The sense of loss will pass. It is not lost because you remember.
29
I don't belong there now. Everything was the same, just as it
was. But I didn't fit. It was as if I tried to put on a coat or
glove I had outgrown. I can't go there and be— I'm too
different.
And that saddened you.
Yes. More than that. It is as if a part of me no longer exists.
I've thought of it so many times . . . going Home.
It is the reality of returning that does not exist. You need to
release the illusion that you could do so.
I have. And I think I know what the actual difference was. It
was exactly as I had remembered it. Nothing had changed. I
guess I expected some kind of progress. But what made me
face it was the repetition. If you watched long enough, if you
listened long enough, everything repeated itself. There's no
excitement, nothing new.
That energy pattern . . . you did not learn that from being
human.
No. That is why I left Home, the limiting factor of repetition.
There was no growth, nothing new to learn or experience.
You learn all the time in living on Earth—change and new
learning go on constantly. But the fact that I can't go back
Home will take getting used to. It is not easy to handle.
Yet you will adjust. Just as you will when you reach a point
where you recognize that you can no longer return to being
human. Perhaps it is better put that you not only cannot but
30
Ultimate Journey
you do not need to do so when you have outgrown what you
call the human coat and glove.
That will happen? That I won't want to be human? How will
I cope with that?
When that point approaches, it will be easier than you can
perceive as you are now.
Well . . . if you say so, I believe it to be so.
You will know instead of merely believing, as you are fond of
saying.
Thank you for your help . . . which is a weak way to put
it . . .
We understand. You are welcome.
The glowing figure began to fade and then winked out.
My return to the physical was without incident.
Things for me changed greatly after this meeting. I became
aware of another, wider goal: to grow and evolve somehow
into the awe-inspiring yet warm being that I happily
called my INSPEC. With this desire and decision, I accepted
the gentle encouragement that was being offered. The result
was a strange mixture of peace and excitement, simple and
complex at the same time, a form of knowing and belonging
beyond description.
This was heightened exponentially when I was escorted
on a short visit to the fringes of INSPEC space at my request.
Although I was able to perceive very little other than the mas-
sive empathy and love that radiated through me, there was
also the strong impression of many beings in happy residence.
There was even a flow of newcomers joining this community
which I felt as Layered Intelligence-Forming Energy (LIFE).
The strange part was that it seemed like a new home to me, as
if I already knew the residents. Yet it was more than knowing.
It was as if I were a part of them and they of me.
The combination of excitement and serenity there left me
bemused. Why could there not be some way that humans
living on Earth could exist in such harmony? At the next
meeting, I brought the question to my INSPEC friend as we
drifted beyond the outer edge of the rings that make up what I
was later to realize were the Belief System Territories, parts of
the (M) Field spectrum adjacent to the Earth Life System
where many Human Minds reside after completing physical
life experiences. We could perceive the Earth in the center
with semitransparent radiant globes around it, each larger
and thinner as the distance increased. It took some effort to
recognize that we were "seeing" the nonphysical energies in
the structure rather than electrons and molecules.
It is interesting that your civilization knows nothing of this
aspect of the structure, as you put it.
I wonder if they ever will.
Not in the completeness that you would wish.
If they did know this, it might clean up the mess. So much of it
seems without purpose. The pain, the suffering, the violent
32
Ultimate Journey
emotions. It is very hard to accept that mess as a design of
some sort.
Perhaps you will have what you call a Different Overview
when your opportunity comes.
My opportunity? You mean I will have a chance to do something
about it?
Yes . . . you and your friends. It might be helpful to you to
visit the potential of states of being that are very different
from the one you are experiencing. For example, to visit an
era where human organization is different and conforms more
to the way you believe it should be.
I can do this?
If that is your wish.
Can you be with me?
It will be my pleasure. Are you ready?
If you move slowly, I might be able to learn the technique.
You already know it. It is the same as the one you used to
move to what you called Home. It is only the destination that
is not a part of your knowledge.
You are right. If you lead, I will follow.
The glowing figure began to move. I stayed close by until
suddenly it started to dwindle. My response was automatic.
The energy pattern of the Earth dissolved into blackness
then out of the blackness a landscape emerged. Just ahead of
me, the glowing INSPEC waited motionless.
We were some thousand feet over a wide valley, which
appeared to be eight to ten miles long and about five miles
wide. Snowcapped peaks surrounded the valley on three sides.
Beyond the open side were forests and fields extending to the
horizon. A bright sun hung in a blue sky studded with small
cumulus clouds.
Directly below us was what appeared to be a large settlement
stretching nearly to the base of the mountains. There
was a mass of trees of a variety of shapes and sizes with
variegated foliage in every possible shade of green. Among the
trees was a complex and extensive network of narrow paths.
But there were no houses or buildings, no smoke or smog. The
air was totally clean and clear.
I turned to the INSPEC.
No houses? No buildings?
Sleeping quarters are underground, and the places for artisan
activity.
Where are all the people?
They are among the trees. Each is performing an individual
function.
How many are there?
Just over two million, as we understand it.
34
Ultimate Journey
Two million!
That is so.
How many settlements are there like this? It is our planet
Earth, isn't it?
It is indeed and it is the only such place. These are the only
humans in residence.
The only ones on all of Earth?
That is correct:
I won't ask what happened that brought the numbers down
from billions . . . So this is what we can expect in the future?
You are thinking in the wrong direction, my friend.
What do you mean?
This is a place of the past, as you express time.
The past! There is nothing in our history that remotely resembles
this! It must be very far back.
It is. Nearly a million of your years.
The inhabitants . . . are they human? Such as I am?
Slightly different but definitely human.
Can we go down?
We can indeed. That is our purpose
Will they be able to see us? Can we communicate with them?
Yes, with no difficulty.
They won't resent our intrusion?
On the contrary. They will welcome us.
We drifted down toward the trees and then into an open area
about the size of a football field. It was a park, or perhaps a
huge flower garden, with neat, irregular beds of flowers and
plants, none of which I recognized. Wide, grass-covered walks
wound around among the beds in sweeping curves. I even
thought I could feel the grass under my feet.
You do feel it. Just as you are able to see, in a physical manner.
But you are not physical.
I turned. The glowing figure of the INSPEC was beside me.
Walking rapidly toward us were four people. They seemed
about five feet tall, each with a different tone color of hair and
skin. Their hair was uniform in length,.just below their ears.
Their faces and bodies were those of active, athletic thirtyyear-
olds, but without bulging muscles. Two were men and
two were women. It was easy to tell, because they wore no
clothes.
They have no need for clothes.
What about keeping warm? Or protection from the weather?
36
Ultimate Journey
Each has an individual control system for that purpose.
I don't see anything.
It's all in the mind, as you would say.
I gather you have been here before.
That is so . . . in a manner of speaking.
The four approached and stood before us, smiling happily.
They had beautiful bodies, in perfect condition. I wondered
how we could communicate—what language they used.
Could they even see us?
One of the men took a step forward and nodded.
"Yes, we can see you, Robert. And communication is
easy. We will use your English. OK?"
The OK was what got to me. There was something
wrong here. How would he know American slang from the
future ?
"We absorbed it from your mind. No problem."
Then I noted that his lips had not moved, and saw the
twinkle in his eyes. We both laughed—mentally. I had found a
new friend who could read minds, probably every last bit of
what I thought or felt. From then on, all of the talk was
mental—thought transference, you might call it.
"This is a beautiful place," I began.
"The weather is very pleasant. We stir up a thunderstorm
every afternoon to clean off the leaves and provide water for
the plants."
37
"With lightning?"
"Yes, but we direct the intensity and where it will make
contact. The electrical charge is vital to all carbon-based life."
"And the wind . . . do you control the wind too?"
"The wind? Would you like it stronger?"
"No, it's all right . . . it's fine . . ."
He smiled broadly. "You are wondering what we eat."
"You all look well fed and healthy."
"Healthy?"
"No sickness or injuries, and so on."
"You come from a strange world! Do you really have
difficulty maintaining your physical body?"
"That is our major difficulty."
"How sad. Our history has a record of such problems
many thousands of years past."
"No bugs? No viruses? No one is killed or injured?"
"I understand what you are saying. The bugs and viruses
work with us, Robert. There is no conflict. As for being killed
. . . we stopped what you call dying long ago."
Thoughts and questions flooded my mind. One rose to
the surface.
"Then you must control your . . . reproduction?"
"Oh yes. And as for the rest of that thought—we still
enjoy the ritual!"
"But no children . . . "
"We have many children. Would you like to meet some
of them?"
"Yes, I would."
"I will call them."
38
Ultimate Journey
A series of different whistles sounded in my head, like
songs of birds, almost a form of music. Out of the trees came
several kinds of animals, large and small, all bounding up to
the four people, who rubbed and patted them. Some resembled
cats, others were reptilian, like small alligators and large
snakes. Others were monkey-like, and still others could have
been deer, but with long manes and tails. A swarm of huge
bees surged out of a tree and made diving, playful swoops
past our group. Overhead, a pair of large, brilliant green birds
soared in circles, looking down at us. A small blue bird
dropped down on my friend's shoulder and chirped in his ear.
He turned to me.
"Our children."
"I would like to call my own animals children so easily."
"You will remember the sound, and with practice you
can."
"Is all of the earth like this? The animals, I mean?"
"Only here in the valley. The rest is much what you
would expect, from reading your books. You know of the
food chain system?"
"I do. So the animals die."
"Yes, in the natural order of events. So do these, our
children. A balance is achieved and we do not disturb it."
"Then what do you eat? Vegetables?"
"Eat? I will show you."
My friend turned to one of the females in the group, who
stepped over to a garden plot and scooped up what appeared
to be simple black dirt. She brought a handful back and stood
beside us. Suddenly I knew what was going to happen.
"Would you like some of your favorite corn, silver queen,
as you call it?"
I nodded. The girl stared at me intently, then put her
other hand palm-down over the handful of dirt, still holding
me steadily in her gaze. I knew she was reading my mind.
After a moment, she lifted her hand and uncovered a
pale-white and perfect miniature ear of corn. She held it out
to me.
"He can't take it," said my friend. "He doesn't have a
physical body with him."
I sensed the girl's laughter as she turned and tossed it to
one of the little brown fawns, who sniffed at it suspiciously.
They do have laughter, I registered, so they must have emotion.
"We have experienced every emotion you can remember,
Robert. We treasure emotion, but it controls us only when we
let it."
I felt an outflow of gratitude. "We thank you for the
warm welcome and letting us visit you. It is very rewarding.
No conflicts, no anger, no competition . . . "
"We do have competition. But we never get so involved
that we forget it is a game."
I did not ask about love. There was no need to. The
radiation from the four of them was evidence enough. But
there was a tinge of sadness mixed with excitement.
My friend smiled again. "Your visit is well timed, for we
will be leaving very shortly. We have to adjust to be without
our valley and our children."
"Leaving? Why?"
40
Ultimate Journey
"We received the Signal nearly a hundred years ago. We
had waited several thousand years for it, and it finally came."
"I don't understand."
"It is rather that you don't remember. You will, when it
is time for you and yours. We have experienced and known all
the patterns of change in our part of this physical universe.
We have gone to the stars and back, moving just the way you
are doing. We found nothing that we did not have here, nothing
truly new."
"I think I have it. You know there is more . . ."
"Perhaps that is one way of saying it. Another is . . .
curiosity . . . yes, curiosity."
"Yes! This has happened to me. But are all of you going?"
"Why would we leave anyone behind? Would you leave
your hand, or even a finger?"
"But where will you go?"
"The Signal will guide us."
"What is this Signal? Can you describe it?"
"It is made by arrangement."
"By arrangement with whom? Or what?"
"With one of us who went ahead. They all agreed to send
us the special Signal when it was time for us to follow. One
finally did so after these many years."
"He was . . . you are . . . like an explorer, looking
for new worlds to conquer."
"Not to conquer, Robert. To be in and to understand."
"How do you know where to go?" The questions kept
flooding in.
41
"We simply follow the Signal."
"Are you receiving it now?"
"Oh yes. It has been with us continuously since we first
perceived it."
"Why don't I perceive it too?"
"I do not know. Perhaps your attunement is different."
"You have waited so long. Why is that?"
"It was necessary to train our animal children to live
without us. Now that we have completed this, we are in the
process of saying goodbye to all of them. We cannot nor
would we take them with us."
I understood that it was time now for me to leave.
"I am glad that we came. Somehow, I think we shall meet
again."
"We shall. I could tell you more . . . but that would, as
you might say, spoil the fun."
I waved farewell, and all four waved back as I began to
lift off the grass. I could not see my INSPEC fellow traveler,
but at least I knew the way back. I phased out gradually and
dwindled into blackness. Then the glowing INSPEC figure
was beside me.
You found them interesting, did you not?
They were much like humans in the future that I have met
before. Except that those were living just outside of Earth, not
in it.
Because of your love of animals, we felt you would sense a
kinship.
42
Ultimate Journey
I did. Now, is there somewhere else we can visit?
What is your desire?
Somewhere where there are nonhumans. But intelligent. And
nonphysical.
There are many choices, if they will permit it.
Permit it? That doesn't sound comfortable . . .
Some would look upon you as a . . . a pest. Yes, a pest.
But you have told me I am indestructible! I cannot be harmed!
That is so.
I think I need something less serene, a little more exciting.
Does that sound foolish?
No, not if that is what you desire.
And this time will you stay with me?
I am always with you. Follow me closely.
The bright figure began to dwindle rapidly and I was
right behind, using the method I had learned to keep up, and
homing in on his energy field. It could have been an eternity—
or only an instant—that period in the blackness with just the
pinpoint of light ahead of me. Then there was an explosion of
bright colors in tiny dots which formed what appeared to be
several irregular shapes . . . first bright green . . . then yellow
. . . and then I was pulled into one that was bright or-
ange. I waited motionless as the orange pressed around me,
holding me in a tight grip. I made no attempt to struggle nor
was I afraid. I had learned much.
Suddenly a series of beats pounded into my awareness,
like a succession of electric shocks. They were not severe, but
irritating, demanding. I could only interpret them as a sort of
computerese, a binary code. But what was communicating
was a living organism, of that I was sure.
The beats continued, thudding into my head. I could not
read them, so I tried to send my own weak version of nonverbal
communication. I thought of an inner model of our solar
system, then mentally pushed an arrow emerging from the
third planet and ending where I was. This produced in response
a long succession of beats—they reminded me of a
primitive form of Morse code but did not translate into letters.
But as my mind became accustomed to them, a picture
began to form . . . a flaming sun, with an arrow pointing
not from it, but into it. Was that where we were now?
The beats stopped. Then a short pattern began and repeated.
Was that affirmative—did it mean yes?
The pattern repeated. It seemed a safe assumption. I created
and sent a picture of myself in a physical body, followed
by a rising inflection. This produced a different pattern in
reply—negative, I assumed.
"That means no? You have not met my species? Let me
show you." I transmitted a picture of a group of men and
women, as best I could.
The response was negative.
"Are you interested in who and what I am?"
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Ultimate Journey
Negative again.
"But you understand me?"
Positive this time, if I interpreted correctly.
"But I can't understand you. Only yes and no."
Negative.
"Do you want me to understand you?"
Negative.
"Then let me go and I shall move out of your energy."
The beats increased in speed and volume and then faded
away. There was what seemed a quick and violent movement
—and I was in deep blackness with my glowing INSPEC
friend beside me.
You were in communication with but a small part of the
whole.
You mean like a finger?
That is a good image.
There is not much personality in a finger.
But there are some who do communicate with such entities.
I wonder if I will ever be able to.
I believe you may, if you so desire.
I have this problem—curiosity. Tell me, are there any
physical
nonhumans I can meet who will communicate with me?
You are presuming that I am not of physical matter and that I
am human.
45
Somehow I sense you did have a physical body, but not now.
You're too free. You have never said you were once human,
but I suspect you were. For one thing, you have a sense of
humor. Sly and satirical, but it's there. Very human stuff.
There was a pause. The INSPEC glow seemed to flicker momentarily.
I perceive you need to return to the physical now.
Yes, I think I had better. Thank you for the guided tour!
It is my pleasure.
I returned to the physical to empty a full bladder. The
signal—my signal—was all too familiar! How small it
is to be
human—but how much fun!
46
4
Hail and Farewell
My curiosity was still not satisfied. I was feeling full of
myself, impatient and ready for more new experiences. However,
I discovered that not everything I asked for could be
granted. A man who lived nearby died—or exited as I preferred
to regard it—following a heart attack and his family
asked me if I could locate and contact him. On my next visit
to my INSPEC friend I asked for help with this but I was told
such access was not possible at this time. A report in the form
of a ROTE was all that could be obtained and I accepted this
as satisfactory in the circumstances.
Then a new question came immediately to mind, which
had much to do with my own physical experience in the Here.
I asked the INSPEC if I could be shown one nonphysical,
nonhuman intelligence which I could talk with easily. Somewhat
to my surprise, my friend offered to lead me to one and
we set off through the darkness. In what seemed only a moment
we flashed into a space filled with stars. Just below us
was what I recognized as our moon and in the near distance
was the huge blue and white marbelized globe, the Earth.
I looked around. Where was this super-nonhuman intelligence?
Reading the question, the INSPEC told me to look
behind and above.
I was astonished. Just twenty feet above me and stretching
for what seemed to be miles was a huge, circular, saucershaped
object, a typical "flying saucer" as so often described,
but a thousand times larger. Much too big to credit—but as I
had that thought, it shrank instantly to some two hundred
feet in diameter.
Then a door in the bottom slid open and a figure . . . a
man . . . a very human-looking man, emerged and walked—
yes, walked, across to where I floated. As he approached, I
recognized him. Short, round, and chubby, dressed with a s o r |
of shabby gentility and wearing a gray top hat, his nose red
and bulbous, his mouth a leering grin, he was an exact replica
of the star of so many comic movies I had enjoyed in the
physical when I was young—W. C. Fields!
This replica, projection, hologram—whatever it was—
spoke like Fields as well, with the same intonations and repetitions.
He invited me aboard, and showed me into what appeared
as a large, domed room with pictures on its walls of
every comedian I had ever heard of, and many more of whom ;
I hadn't, together with thousands of scribbled jokes and cartoons.
He described all this as his cargo.
I framed the question in my mind.
"Cargo? What do you mean, cargo? And," I continued,
48
Ultimate Journey
"you can drop the impersonation. I can take you exactly as
you are."
"You really mean it, don't you . . . But I'll keep it if
you don't mind. It helps me to think like a human. Or would
you prefer someone else? Groucho Marx, perhaps?"
"No, no. Stay as you are. Tell me, what are you doing,
hanging around Earth?"
"My boy, I'm an exporter."
"I see. What do you have that we need—apart from this
spaceship?"
"I must have used the term wrong. I export from here,
not to, my friend."
"What possible thing could we have that is valuable to
you? You're obviously way ahead of our technology. You use
thought communication. We have nothing you could want or
need."
He scratched his nose. "Well, sir, it's not easy to get it,
but I do, yes sir, I do. We don't have any, and you can't
imagine how valuable something is if you don't have any."
"Don't have any what?"
"I've been gathering it for ages. It used to be very rare,
but there's more of it about now."
"You've lost me."
"Sometimes you need to know the civilization to understand
it, that's one of the problems."
"I still don't see . . ."
"You humans have it, and it's very rare and valuable
among the rest of the intelligent species in what you call the
physical universe—and elsewhere. Very rare and valuable, sir.
I'm a specialist in collection. You don't understand, I see! Let
me explain."
"Please do."
"It's a one-in-a-million product and you humans have it.
A sense of humor! Jokes! Fun! The best tonic there is for
overloaded mind systems. It auto-erases the tension and pressure
almost every time it's used!"
"So . . . you cruise around among us looking for the
newest and latest . . . ?"
"Exactly! You humans catch sight of our collection units
every now and then and get the wrong idea. You even make
UFO jokes about us! All we want to do is look and listen—
nothing else. Apart from the odd practical joke—just to keep
in training. And now, if you'll excuse me, sir, I must be on my
way."
Suddenly I found myself outside the spaceship, which was
rapidly diminishing into the far distance. I homed in on my
INSPEC friend, who was waiting for me in the deep darkness.
Now I knew that at least humans have one unique quality.
You managed that well. But there is another matter that occupies
your mind. You have a hidden desire that you are trying
to express.
Yes . . . there is one that I would like to visit. You know
what I mean.
The most mature and evolved human in physical earth, living
in your time reference.
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Ultimate Journey
That is so. Can it be done?
Yes, but the result may not be what you expect.
I wish to try, all the same.
/ shall lead you.
I followed the dwindling curl of light through the darkness,
for I don't know how long. Suddenly I was in a room, a
normal sort of room, sparsely furnished with a few chairs and
easy chairs and a table. Two large windows allowed in rays of
sunlight; outside there appeared to be a stand of tall trees. It
could be anywhere on Earth.
At a desk on one side of the room sat a person. I couldn't
tell whether it was male or female; the face and body structure
could be either. The face was almost unlined, the hair light
brown and down just around the ears; the age somewhere
between thirty and fifty, as far as I could tell. The clothing was
simple, a white shirt and dark slacks.
But it was the radiation that stunned me. It was like
standing in bright spring sunlight that was filled with every
human emotion that ever existed. It was almost overwhelming
—and yet familiar. It was equally balanced. One moment it
was male, then I was sure it was female. A true equal—a He/
She. Heshe!
The radiation closed off. Heshe—there had to be a name
—looked up. The eyes were bottomless; I could detect no
expression or emission. The control was perfect, yet I could
not understand the reason for the restraint.
The lips didn't move, but I heard. I was expecting this
now. There was a warm chuckle in what I understood.
"Heshe? I've never had that name before."
"I meant no disrespect. I didn't know what to call
you."
"One name is as good as another. Now, do you really
believe I can be of help to you?"
"I always hoped that you could."
"In what way?"
"To answer a few questions . . ."
"What good would my answers be to you?"
"I . . . I don't know . . ."
"You insist others obtain their own answers. Why should
you be different?"
This struck home. It was as if my bluff had been called.
"You're right. What I'm really interested in is you, not
answers to my questions."
"I am only one of your statistics. One of the onein-
a-million types. Your friend has done well in locating me."
"I perceive you as occidental, yet no one on Earth really
believes you exist. But . . . we have met before . . . just
once . . . haven't we?"
"You see? You are answering your own questions."
"Yet . . . you have lived only one physical lifetime. You
have not been recycled, like the rest of us. But . . . how do I
know these things?"
"You are reading my mind."
"Only a part of it, and with your permission, I'm sure.
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Ultimate Journey
One continuous lifetime, for eighteen hundred years! How do
you stay . . . young?"
"I keep changing jobs. That keeps anyone young. Is that
a good answer?"
"A great one. What a pleasure to meet you this way!
What is your job now, if it may be called that?"
"You might call me an organizer, or facilitator, whichever
you like."
"With your ability, I would think there is much you can
do at this very moment."
"I keep busy."
"What . . . ? No, I can read it . . . you drive an ambulance,
you're a late-night bartender, a psychiatric counselor
. . . and you're just on your way to teach history at the university.
And there's more."
"I like people."
"Wait . . . you flew gliders once, at Harris Hill . . . I
think I remember you. That's where it was!"
"Just having a little fun."
"Where do you eat and sleep?"
"I gave those up years ago."
"You must conduct fascinating lectures in history."
"I try to amuse, and confuse, with contradictions."
"Your next job . . . what kind of job will it be?"
"Organizing, naturally. Introducing a Variable, just as
you do. Such as this book, or the mind-altering programs you
disseminate—all add a Variable into the lives of those who
encounter them. Now, instead of all the questions, why don'tyou read
what needs organizing and the goals to be achieved?
I can give you what you call a ROTE about that, about a plan
that doesn't involve communism or socialism, capitalism or
dictatorship."
"They say it can't be done."
"That is what makes it worth the effort. It needs a unified
worldwide human endeavor. This will happen through
recognized necessity, not through religions, race, or political
beliefs, or force of arms."
"Necessity is severe stuff. The world would have to be in
rough shape."
"That is the reason for waiting. The time will come."
"But worldwide, humans have never agreed on anything."
There was a sudden surge of energy, similar to what I
had felt previously. As it faded, I knew the ROTE was in
place, ready to be unrolled when the time was right. I had one
more question for Heshe.
"When you have time, what about organizing the energy
where we work? We need it."
"You do not really need it, but I will do my best."
"Will you be in physical form?"
"Certainly. But you will not recognize me."
"You know I will try."
"Of course, Ashaneen. And I will be ready for you. You
cannot find me again unless I agree. And now I am due at the
university."
"Thank you so very much. Will I see you again soon?"
"No. Not for a while."
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Ultimate Journey
Heshe, the Organizer, turned and left without a backward
look. Reluctantly I searched for my INSPEC friend, but
I could not obtain a fix on any radiation. I was aware it was
time to return to the physical, which I accomplished with no
trouble. Once there, I sat up, stretched my arms—and suddenly
realized I had been given a clue. Heshe had called me
Ashaneen. Or was it a clever misdirection, just for the fun of
it?
Now I look carefully at every stranger who comes to visit
us. Perhaps I should have made a bet!
* * *
After this experience, I knew I needed good, solid information
more than ever. Several nights later, I focused again on my
INSPEC contact point and used the customary technique. The
brightly glowing figure was motionless as I approached, but I
could feel the radiation, now familiar and comfortable, that
had so overwhelmed me when we first met. I remembered my
feeling of awe, and how I had nearly prostrated myself in
obeisance that first time.
But you did not. Instead, we shook hands.
So we did. I did not know what else to do.
You are doing well now with your tuning process. The vibrational
adjustment is no longer needed. You understand me
clearly and your thoughts are crisp.
55
And I'm finally able to handle your bright light without
shrinking.
That is interesting. To me, you have the same radiation.
The mind reading, your reading my thoughts. That took getting
used to.
You read my thoughts as I read yours.
Then you perceive my preoccupation with our world changes.
Certainly. However, it is, as you might put it, not our department.
But how do I address these events? My own system demands
an explanation, if not understanding.
You have begun to find your answers. Although it will seem
difficult, the rewards will be great.
You evidently know more about this than I can gather from
you. And for some reason you cannot or will not tell me.
Why?
There is indeed a reason. In your terms, what we relate becomes
only a belief to you. Instead, it is crucial that you know
what you seek. We cannot provide such knowing.
You mean I have to experience it, whatever it is, and reach my
own knowing.
That is correct.
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Ultimate Journey
But you do have knowledge of all I am encountering—and
will encounter?
Up to a point. Beyond that point, the information is not available
to us. Soon the reason will become clear to you.
I assumed you knew all of it. I was wrong.
Because you are seeking other knowledge, your path is changing.
You will be moving in a new direction. We will no longer
be able to meet you as we are doing now.
What . . . what do you mean?
That which you desire can only be reached in another form.
You are well prepared for it.
But . . . I don't understand . . . Have I done something
wrong . . . incorrectly?
It is the opposite. This coat and this glove, as you put it, will
no longer fit that which you need.
Do you mean I have outgrown you? That is impossible!
We shall always be with you. That will not change. But you
will alter your polarities. Such communication as this will no
longer be needed.
Alter my polarities? But I don't know how to do that!
You have done it already. Your return from what you identified
as Home was performed solely by you. You learned as you repolarized to
achieve the change. You did remember.
You have been using it.
You mean . . . that method of moving out of and back to
the physical? As if in slow motion? What I call a quick switch?
That is correct. And there is more. There is also a Basic, an
essential knowledge, as you would describe it, that you have
yet to discover and explore. We wish you well on your journey.
But . . . we will meet again?
Yes. But not as we are at this point.
I . . . I don't know what to say . . . to think . . .
Nothing need be said or thought.
The glowing light winked out. I waited alone in the deep
blackness for an eternity before, sad and confused, deciding to
return.
The feeling of loss was overwhelming. And . . . a missing
Basic? A new direction? But in my loneliness, there was no
place to look.
5
Recoup and Regroup
At first, I found it impossible to get over the loss of my
INSPEC friend. I tried many times, in desperation, to meet
again at our contact point, but it was empty. There was simply
nothing, not even a whisper of energy radiation. The feeling
of abandonment and lack of direction was overwhelming.
It was difficult to keep the resultant depression from permeating
my daily life, but eventually I managed more or less
to succeed. With the INSPEC connection seemingly dissolved,
my goal of becoming a member of that species dimmed. But it
was certainly not forgotten. Gradually I restored balance as
everyday questions demanded answers. And, as I knew of no
one who could help me, I kept the problem to myself.
I was supposed to be taking a "new direction," but I had
no idea or clue as to what that meant. Linked to this was the
question: what was the Basic I had missed? However, there
was one item I was sure of: whatever the direction, it was an
integral part of a learning process whether I liked it or not.
I turned again to the Basic. What could it be?Something, I realized,
was missing from my own Different
Overview. The only approach I could think of was to go
back to Basics in an attempt to discover what the missing one
was. I had no choice.
What was needed was a solid baseline of well-tested
"knowing" before I could venture into the unknown areas
where I hoped to uncover the missing Basic. To begin with, I
needed to establish a first priority—a clear understanding of
the here and now, of physical life just as it is without philosophical
and emotional discoloration. This would make a firm
foundation. So with all this in mind, I settled down to put my
thoughts in order.
The Earth Life System
When carbon-based life began to appear and expand into various
forms, every form had a prime directive: survive. In detail,
this meant physical survival in a highly organized and
balanced system of reciprocity and symbiosis. Survival of the
individual unit guaranteed survival of the species.
At another level, the Earth itself received a similar instruction,
which throws a new light on phenomena such as
wind and ocean currents, earthquakes and volcanoes. Thus
mother Earth meets many of the criteria for an existent lifeform.
This implies a mind-consciousness far different from
that of the dominant carbon-based species, which had not—
and still has not—become aware of this facet of the system.
Survival was and is the first law of the system. In order to
survive, each life-form needed to absorb its own daily quota
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Ultimate Journey
of nutrients. Those that for whatever reason were unable to
do this either mutated or became extinct.
As the elementary life-forms expanded into various species,
a pattern emerged. The bigger, faster forms found the
slower, smaller, or stationary forms good eating. In response,
the smaller forms learned to move faster, to reproduce more
frequently and copiously, or become discarded in the scheme
of things. Conversely, the slower big forms found smaller but
faster forms emerging with sharp teeth and the ability to act in
concert. In reality, no life-form was absolutely safe from others.
Danger, crisis, stress, and death became the general pattern.
Fear of individual nonsurvival as danger manifested itself
minute by minute triggered action—fight or
flight—in the
typical Earth Life System participant. And, as the whole pattern
and process expanded, a balance emerged, a balance
which we now know as the food chain.
The Earth Life System was and still is an exquisitely selfadjusting,
autotuning, self-regenerating organization of energy.
The more we investigate the interactive symbiotic relationships
contained therein, the more fascinating and complex
they become. The entire structure is one of polarities, yet each
part is interconnected.
Looking again at the Earth Life System, we see that the
underlying competition theme seems to be a product of the
command to survive. Each and every living unit competes for
the basics of physical survival: food, water, oxygen, warmth,
and sunlight. Often this translates into living space, on and in
the ground, in the water, in the air. We have various names
for this: territorial imperative, room, home, lair, den, hunting
preserve, personal property, real estate, cities, nations. Lifeforms
fight for these, and die for them.
Set against this is the delicate assignment of living space
on the basis of capability. Each species can survive only in its
appropriate environment. In water and air, the system remained
in fair balance with the food chain operating efficiently,
often to the point where changes became no more
than a small shift or tune-up. On land, however, the balance
was harder to sustain. Hence the variety of life-forms evolved
more rapidly, with impressive ingenuity being used to solve
the problems of replication and survival.
Now my baseline, where I am operating from at this
time, included the following points.
1. On entry into the Earth Life System, each life-form is imprinted,
probably through DNA, with a prime directive: survive!
This is the underlying drive behind every action taken by
the participants. The goal is survival of the species, expressed
first as survival of the individual unit. This directive is geared
specifically and limited to physical existence, with no other
implications. Success equals physical survival. Failure equals
nonsurvival or physical nonexistence—death. Fear equals the
possibility of nonsurvival.
2. The Earth Life System is impersonal in that each life-form
competes with all others for life-maintaining nutrients. This
competition takes place both between species and within the
species itself. Cooperation among and within species is stan-
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Ultimate Journey
dard operating procedure; the system often forces cooperation
as a necessity for survival. The whole is a system of predation.
3. Any awareness not related to physical survival is denigrated.
Any emotion expressed is an aberration as it does not
relate to the prime survival directive. Fear is not treated as an
emotion.
4. The basic pattern of the system is change. Stasis is entropy.
Entropy is death. Thus imbalance is constant, which creates a
steady adaptive response at all levels. Polarization or differential
is an integral force at work throughout the system.
For our Different Overview, the Earth Life System is seen
as a food chain predator system, although it is rarely accepted
as such. It may appear chaotic and complex, but it is organized
and operates under a few simple rules:
Grow and exist as long as you can.
Get what you need to exist.
Maintain your species by reproducing.
There are no limitations or conditions in applying these
rules. Strength, speed, deception, sharp sensory awareness
and response, all are great assets. Symbiosis and parasitic patterns
are highly acceptable. Honor, ethics, empathy, and the
like are nonexistent. Every participant is a predator and the
process cannot be altered or changed as long as the Earth Life System
exists. Survival is difficult if not impossible without
predatory action.
The Aliens
Amid the smooth-running, efficient process of the Earth Life
System, an unusual spark appeared in one life-form. It could
have happened to any one of thousands of other species, but
why it happened to this one no one as yet knows. It resulted
not in a new design but in a modification of the old. Thus all
of the original Earth Life System patterns remained strong and
only partly under control in this new unit.
To make this mutation endure, it would have had to occur
in more than a single instance, and in various locations.
Evidence uncovered by archaeologists and anthropologists reveal
that, in the context of time since the system came into
being, it occurred nearly simultaneously in different areas.
This newly modified species found it difficult to survive|
in the early stages. Its design forced it to develop its own
unique methods. It was comparatively hairless, except on its
head, which meant it had to take special action to get protection
from cold, heat, and the bites and claws of others. It had
neither fangs nor claws, which was a major disadvantage in
self-protection and aggressive food gathering. It had no tail,
which meant it could not climb trees to escape attack and,
more important, it lacked this means of expressing emotion.
Two legs instead of four brought unbalance, ungainliness, and
a vertical spinal column that was originally designed to be
Ultimate Journey
horizontal. Finally, it possessed an addition to its animal
brain, somewhat resembling a tumor, that really made the
difference.
Other animals were bigger, faster, and stronger, could
climb better, swim naturally, and withstand the elements
much more comfortably. It took many generations for the
newcomers to figure out why and how, with this awkward
and inefficient physical body, they managed to survive. Gradually
the realization came that they were different from all
other animals. Hundreds of thousands more years passed before
they became aware—or some of them did—that they
were indeed more than just another animal. But some still
regard their species as no more than intelligent animals.
This new factor in the Earth Life System proved disruptive
and disturbing. It had the same drives, motives, and limitations
of other life-forms, plus restrictions in body size and
capability. Yet in a relatively short time it came to dominate
all others. The only area that stayed resistant was Earth energy
itself. The basic patterns of land, air, water, and fire
remained, for the most part, uncontrolled and unchanged.
The conquest had a significant and vital price. By devoting
virtually all of its energies into the Earth Life System, the
new species disregarded or discounted any direct knowledge
of what might lie beyond. So it became heavily locked into the
reality of the Earth Life System concept. But in direct conflict
with this massive accumulation of and preoccupation with
earthly knowledge, was the most essential characteristic of the
species—a mind-consciousness foreign to the system itself. It
was this developing mind that provided the means to overwhelm
all other species, that continued to take the original
"survival command" to extremities and absurdities totally inconsistent
with and beyond what could even remotely be construed
as need.
At some stage the new species gave itself the label of
Human: Human "Beings." Homo sapiens.
From early days, the Human Mind learned much from its
heritage. It found the animal herd instinct for cooperation
highly workable. It adopted the mating concept, pulled from
animals who protect their young until they can take care of
themselves. It took over the team action in hunting. Organized
cooperation enabled it to compete successfully with
other animals. So the species developed into the greatest
predators the Earth had ever known and made the process an
art and a science, and even a sport.
The animal concept of leadership was recognized early.
At first the strongest took charge; then the qualities of cunning,
intelligence, mental ability were added. The leader had
the first choice of the females, the caves, the best part of the
kill; so competition turned inward for who got the job. Intraspecies
predation became the norm, as in the animal pack or
herd.
Throughout history, whenever humans organized into
groups of any significant size, the concept of a god-being
emerged to become a prominent factor. One simple explana
tion as to why this occurred is that when the Human Mind
moves into adulthood it no longer has parental figures to lean
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Ultimate Journey
upon, blame, provide help, or set the rules. So it conjures up
suitable replacements. The need for a god or gods, therefore,
may have simple, rational origins. As children, we grow up
under the authority of a local father and mother, the immediate
representation of the power and the glory that created us.
When we ourselves become adults and parents, we look for or
fantasize a bigger Father or Mother to assume this role. The
god-being concept is a convenient way to explain the unknown
and to relieve the human being from various unwanted
responsibilities. The price, however, is to give up large
areas of authority. Some developing human egos that maintain
that no one or nothing is greater than I am find this
difficult to accept.
To clear up and put Unknowns into the Known category,
the Human Mind also moved in another direction. It took
direct, repeatable experiences and, using the rule of cause and
effect, turned them into Knowns which it passed down from
father to son, mother to daughter, then from the spoken to the
written word, and eventually into what became known as
schools. Only relatively recently were crude and simplistic
Known-seeking processes established and given a label: science.
With the passing of time, the new dominant human species
developed the predator-driven process far beyond the
simple kill-for-food fundamental. It set up its own rules and
laws, which were often in conflict with the Earth Life System,
lear was still the major tool of the trade, with greed, ego,
sexuality, and other such being important components. Yet
despite the distortion and discoloration, the alien thinking
seeped through.
Again and again, the alien Human Mind began to express
and demonstrate elements completely incompatible with
the Earth Life System. These were: first, concern and empathy
as to other members of the species; second, concern and empathy
as to members of other species; third, a growing curiosity
and uncomfortable suspicion as to the limitations apparently
imposed on all participants in the system. History and
philosophy are full of curiosity seekers and suspicious Human
Minds. There has always been, as there is today, a very thin
layer of Human Minds who have the time and the energy to
sit back and think. They have moved past the immediate need
for survival effort.
How many are there? One in a thousand? One in ten
thousand? In one hundred thousand? Instead of planning and
plotting how to exploit their fellow species or to pull riches
from the earth, these curious and suspicious Human Minds
sought for patterns beyond the Earth Life System in themselves
and in others. They found enough to strike responsive
chords in their own being, and they passed along what they
found. The message was that human beings are more than
mere animals living and dying in the Earth Life System.
Yet, to date, little has been achieved as a result, beyond
such conceptions as hope, faith, guilt, simple belief, and a
poorly defined collection of hints and suggestions under the
general heading of love. So the species as a whole remains
unfulfilled and restless.
This, then, is the Earth Life System where we are now,
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and the state of Human Minds. These are the Knowns, and
this is where we begin, according to our current scientific
overview.
But . . . the missing Basic? Even as the light increased, I
still did not recognize it!
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6
Inside and Outside
So . . . Where is the missing Basic? And what is the new
direction? Both seem well hidden. Perhaps it would help in the
search if we first find out and pin down what we really are.
As Human Minds, we are what we think. We also are
what others think. Most of this has little to do with our physical
bodies when we go below the surface. To deal with this
more closely, let us create a model of the Human Mind as it is
and operates in practice—a pragmatic model, if you like.
Imagine it as structured in layers, something like an onion,
and let us work from "in" to "out."
Core Self
This is the intrinsic, original Human Mind. Starting from this
inner core, we are the essence of the sum of our experiences,
without limitation. The inner core is composed of the
following:
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what we have lived and consciously thought to date;
the emotions we have experienced;
the love we have expressed and experienced;
the dreams we have experienced, whether we remember
them or not;
the pains and pleasures;
the daydreams, wishes, and hopes;
all of the above during our nonphysical activity
(sleep, etc.);
all the above during any and all previous life activity;
unidentified elements.
Animal Sub-Self
This is the layer or element that is most difficult to control. All
of the expressions of the Human Mind route through here
and receive data in the Earth Life System through here as well.
This is where the filtering, discoloration, and contamination
take place. The problem is that we think we need to rely on it
or we cannot remain physically human. Physiologically, it
comprises a cluster consisting of the mammalian brain, the
reptilian brain, and the limbic system. Its signals taint almost
every facet of human life; almost, but not all.
Conscious Mind
The next layer can be identified as what you think you are,
which is entirely different from knowing what you are. The
reason is that only a part of the inner core is available to the
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conscious you; hence there is much distortion, as expression
has to pass through the Animal Sub-Self. The conscious mind
may be wholly accurate; but in some areas local concepts and
customs give an opposite interpretation from that of your
Core Self.
Although much of this layer is deliberately hidden from
others, a considerable part is expressed in our outer self. Because
it is so strong, we have no choice in this. This layer is
further complicated by belief systems; for many of us the complexity
becomes a maze. It is no surprise that most don't find a
clear way out.
Human Mind External
The next outward layer is what we think others think of us.
This is a grand mixture because part of it is
intuitive—nonverbal
communication—which gets confused with what our sensory
and analytical perceptions tell us. This layer is in a constant
state of flux, changing constantly with new experience
and new perception.
In this section, which is controlled heavily by cultural
context, we develop artificial and synthetic drives and motivations
which probably lead to most mental and physical dysfunction.
Attempting to keep up, or leading a totally reactive
existence—which is what many people do—can, if you
allow
this lifestyle to take over, lead to a veritable hell on earth. Human
Mind Role
Moving outward, you have the skin: what you want others to
think of you. This is usually fairly simple. Mostly it is set by
the acceptability and needs of the world around you, superimposed
hopefully with waves and pulses thrusting out from
your inner core. The presentation of self is careful and usually
covered with a sheen of deception. In hard cases, no sign of
the inner layers ever appears, even under great stress. Such
cases die with their false faces on, grimly and stoically.
Human Mind Radiation
The outermost layer, much larger than you might expect, is
composed of others' thoughts of you. Consider yourself as
existing wherever and whenever any other person or being
thinks of you, even only occasionally. You may get some idea
of the magnitude by recalling all of those you think of, even
only occasionally. Add (as just a belief at this point) all of
those who still think of you but who no longer inhabit a
physical body—who are now "somewhere else"—plus
those
who know you from any other existence, whatever and wherever
it may be or have been. You would be astounded at how
big and how much you are.
Very little of this radiation of you, as perceived by others,
is aware of the content of your inner Core Self. The disguise
and filtration are in the way. But a problem does lie in our
deep concern as to what others think of us.
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* * *
So much for this model of the Human Mind. Now it might
seem that we can sharpen our Different Overview greatly if
we focus solely on the signs of the Core Self as they make their
way through the many layers of what we are. But we have to
beware of imitations; there are those dedicated to the Earth
Life System who can produce a mass of simulated Core Self so
cleverly done that it conceals the real Earth Life System action
and motivation. It is easy to be deceived.
It may help to accept, as a belief to be converted into a
Known, that we, as Human Mind-Consciousness, have both
an individual and a species purpose, or purposes, for being in
the Earth Life System which is not usually an understood part
of our physical waking awareness. Conflict arises when the
Human Mind demands an action and the Earth Life System
self has trouble handling it. There is a growing suspicion that
much of our mental and physical dysfunction is the result of
this conflict. The least of the conflict is external; most lies in
the habituation and motivation struggle within the Human
Mind.
Now here are a few of the common signs of the Core Self
that may emerge through the layers. These are strictly non-
Earth Life System and nonanimal, and are not listed in order
of importance.
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Emotion
Any expression of emotion: sadness, joy, anger, grief, ecstasy,
hate, exaltation, depression, and so on, all subjective and
spontaneous. The key is to experience and subsequently to
learn to control and direct them as desired.
In the Earth Life System there is no emotion beyond survival
responses such as protection of young—responses which
are purely aggressive or defensive in motivation. The nearest
simulations include possessiveness, dominance, jealousy,
pride, etc.
Empathy
Appreciation and even understanding without necessarily
having any related personal memory or experience to draw
upon. Empathy is a recognition of oneness beyond physical
species. It is also a reflection of the knowledge that such experience
is essential to the individual's learning process; therefore
nothing can or should be done to attempt to change the
problems others must face. Sympathy and compassion are
specific versions that are colored by emotion to varying degrees.
The Earth Life System has no knowledge or understanding
of this area. The closest approximation may be herd or
pack instinct, which is strictly survival-based. It is possible
that current dolphin investigations may have some relevance
here.
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Soft Smile
A direct information flow from the Core Self level. It is a form
of what can be called nonverbal communication—multiple
and total simultaneous transmission/reception that cannot be
expressed in words. The facial expression is an autonomic
response: "Got it, loud and clear!"
The Earth Life System has nothing comparable. The closest
may be relationships developed between Human Minds
and pet animals—a hand lick or a purr. But simulations are
all
over the place!
Big Grin
Another thrust direct from the Core Self. This radiation cannot
be translated into words or graphics. "Joy" and "fun" are
too mundane. There are many imitations and because it is so
disarming the indicator is widely used to manipulate. Go past
the indicator to the radiation itself.
Again, there is nothing comparable in the Earth Life System.
In this framework, anything similar is a warning or prelude
to predation.
Beauty Beholding
This is clean Core Self. It is pure appreciation of the inspiration
and creativity of not only Earth Life System constructs
but also of Human Mind patterns, from soaring bridges and
buildings to a cappella choirs and Human Mind performance It is an
information/experience-gathering process that your
Human Mind cannot resist.
The Earth Life System has no comprehension of this and
nothing comparable, so there can be no imitations.
Nostalgia
This is a welling up from your Core Self of origin memory,
which is best rationalized as emotional values from previous
experience in your present lifetime. In this way it is possible to
divert away from the underlying and implied plea: show me
the way to go Home.
The Earth Life System has no comprehension or comparable
pattern that is not system-based. The closest are migrating
birds and salmon, but their motivations are practical systern
patterns.
A Gentle Touch
A very simple Core Self expression. A touch instead of a
grasp, a pat instead of a punch, a stroke instead of a shove.
Even animals understand and know the difference.
In the Earth Life System animals do learn a crude version.
But all they can do is lick or rub, which may be enough.
Anonymous Giving
A true demonstration of the Core Self in action. Altruism and
agape are working illustrations; service to others with abso-
Ultimate Journey
lutely no recompense or recognition, except to your Human
Mind core.
In the Earth Life System this is totally beyond comprehension.
If it happens, it's by accident, not design.
Thinking
Human Minds are thinkers to a degree not found elsewhere in
the Earth Life System. Once we get past the lures of the system,
we discover a flow of ideas, inspiration, intuition, invention,
innovation, all sorted through for us by our magnificent
processor, the mind. These are products of Core Self directives
and are often sparked by curiosity, a great catalyst for change.
There is nothing remotely close in the Earth Life System.
All we find is some rudimentary toolmaking, some instinctive
processes that are usually attributed to keen physical sensory
perception. Some animals do have curiosity, which often
proves fatal.
The Big Nugget
Because this item of universal interest is so misunderstood and
misconstrued, it took a special extended investigation to reduce
it to anywhere near a rational level. The following
ROTE, passed to me by a friend, is at least a beginning. Once
it is absorbed, it will expand as it is contemplated.
"Love can't be taught, can't be bought. Love can't be
learned. It is generated within the individual in response to an
external stimulus. The individual has no control over this gen-eration.
Once initiated, it may be layered over or sublimated
but never destroyed. Physical death has no effect upon the
reality of its existence, as such energy is neither dependent
upon nor a part of time-space.
"It is a radiation that cannot be grasped and held on to.
Instead it is perceived, experienced as it passes through the
individual, who adds to it that additional portion which has
been generated by this passing. The energy is thereby enhanced
and the individual becomes a constant contributor
and recipient thereof."
With the heavy emphasis on sexual arousal and the myth
of romance, it is no surprise that so many claim to experience
what we may call the Big L in their relationships. Not so. The
only way you can obtain it is through shared life experience,
and even then there is no guarantee. On the other hand it will
grow on you. You don't have to work at it, despite what the
books say. Time is not a vital factor. The deeper, more intense
the shared experience, the less time it takes.
Other attractions are not necessarily destructive or valueless
but they do fall into another category. The difference is
that the Big L is indestructible and eternal, and never dependent
on local habits and customs. Friendship, for example,
might be construed as a shadow of the Big L, or at least a
kissing cousin.
The greatest problem lies in misidentification. We become
entrapped into believing we have found the Big L, often
with disastrous results, when the ideal is not adhered to by the
"loved" one.
The most consistent and visible facet of the Big L is prob-
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ably mother love. It meets the tests admirably, although it
often gets heavily layered with protocol.
Men find the Big L in other men and women in other
women usually as a result of profound experience over some
time, although extended experience does not automatically
evoke the Big L. Yet when it does happen, sometimes effortlessly
and without conscious awareness, it is permanent in the
full meaning of the word. If you work together, play together,
live together, fight, suffer, laugh, and team together, the probability
is increased.
The main characteristic of the Big L is that it does not
diminish with physical death and you cannot extinguish it
during physical life. Out of necessity, propriety, or for reasons
beyond your control you may sublimate it, yet it will always
be there, glowing quietly within you. Why the expression "till
death do us part" became part of our culture is a mystery.
Perhaps it was inserted so that the physical survivor would
feel emotionally free to remarry and beget more offspring to
further ensure the continuation of the species. Otherwise it
makes no sense.
The Big L is the Core Self at its finest distillation.
Reflecting on all this, I think that the source of the missing
Basic is now clear—the Core Self. But how do you really
get to know you? 7
Tour Guide
As the search for the missing Basic continues, we, as
visitors and participants in the Earth Life System, might now
assess and summarize what we have learned so that we may
be in better condition to survey and then travel the road that
lies ahead. Our Different Overview is beginning to firm up,
but all the same the question still arises: why do we bother?
Why continue with this hard journey when we could simply
relax into the comfort of an appropriate belief system?
We shall see later if the journey brings its own reward. In
the meantime, let's have a look at where we are, and at what
our new and Different Overview reveals.
The Earth Life System, for all its shortcomings, is an
exquisite teaching machine. It brings into focus for each of us
in our own way a wide understanding of energy, and the
control and manipulation thereof, that is generally unavailable
except through a structured environment such as timespace.
The Earth Life System is a set of tools, and we learn to
use them.
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In the Earth Life System we learn measurement. It is a
polarized environment where comparatives are possible. We
learn what are hot or cold, strong or weak, hungry or full, fast
or slow, sad or glad, male or female, friend or foe, love or
hate—the list goes on.
We learn energy applications in a useful manner in many
different forms. We operate physical energy both inside and;
outside our bodies. We experience and direct mental energy
without ever truly knowing the details of how because it
comes so naturally to us.
Through application of our Human Mind we learn to
create in ways and methods we didn't know existed because
they are unique to time-space, and some are peculiar to and
available only in this system and are not available elsewhere.
These provide avenues of expression beyond description.
Similarly we learn appreciation of beauty. We find it in a
lowly rock, a stately fir tree, a thunderstorm, ocean surf, a
cloud-tinted sunset, a soft-spoken word, a sweeping skyscraper
tower, a musical chord, the leap of a leopard—again,
the list is endless. Most of all, we find it in what other humans
think and do, in their and our emotions. And we learn to
laugh and have fun.
Every single thing we learn, no matter how small or
seemingly inconsequential, is of immense value There—beyond
time-space. This is fully understood only when one encounters
a graduate of the Earth Life System process of being
human who "resides" in the There. You then know, not just
believe, that it is worth any price to be human, and to learn.|
Now to effect the greatest change in your overview and
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to provide a simple and understandable purpose for being
here in the Earth Life System, we need to be specific. This
involves looking closely at something unique to the Human
Mind—our thinking process.
Current concepts have it that, aside from our animaldriven
activity, our thinking is divided into two basic categories
which we identify as left brain and right brain. Bear in
mind that this identification is only symbolic and the separation
is nowhere near as distinct as left-right would seem to
indicate.
Our left brain process is the part of us that gets things
done. It is the intellectual, analytical area of function. Here lie
our mathematical and speech centers, our logical reasoning,
our scientific method, our organizational talents and teaching
skills, and much more. It is our left brain activity that makes
us different from animals. It is the source of our "can do"
optimism.
Our right brain is opposite. From this come our perception
of form and space, beauty, intuition, emotions, plus everything
else the left brain cannot understand or categorize,
including love, friendship, inspiration, etc. The right brain is
horrified at the idea that a left brain formula can be produced
to quantify and qualify love and friendship. That is right brain
sacred territory. Paradoxically, our right brain is the generator
of our feelings of negativity.
More recent concepts hold that our human consciousness
flickers back and forth between left and right brain as situations
arise during our daily physical life. When we perform
calculations, our left brain is dominant. When we listen to music, our
right brain takes over. Peak performance comes
when both left and right brain thinking are integrated, unified,
synchronous.
A kind of cultural subwar has been going on for centuries
and has come to the surface only in recent years. The dominant-
left-brainers consider the dominant-right-brainers to be
basically unfit for existence in the Earth Life System and tend
to regard them with contempt or disbelief. The dominantright-
brainers look on the others as unimaginative, dull,
overmaterialistic, unfeeling, and lacking in "spiritual values."
It is time now to declare peace in this battle and to set
right this dangerous misunderstanding.
Our prime and fundamental purpose, aside from learning
through experience in being human, is to acquire and develop
what we label intellect: left brain consciousness. We do not
need to act similarly with our right brain abilities because we
already have them. We brought them with us; somehow they
were inherent.
It is the left brain capability that is of exquisite value
when we visit or return to the There, beyond time-space. It is
the left brain that removes the limitations on our growth that
were present prior to our sojourn here. Only left brain function
can make Unknowns into Knowns, dissolve fears, enhance
experience, open new vistas, clean out the false beliefsystem
refuse. It is the left brain that takes any idea, information,
or inspiration emanating from or via the right brain and
puts it into action. By any standards, something of value cannot
become real unless and until the left brain takes over.
For millennia the human right brain has not changed. It
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has not grown or evolved. It is the same as it always was. In
contrast, left brain consciousness has been steadily evolving,
either by design or necessity. In the past century, this growth
has become an exponential curve, not simply in one or two
individuals but in literally millions of humans throughout the
period. Today the left brain has probed so deeply into the
rime-space phenomenon that there seem few areas left to explore
without recycling and repetition. The energy fields in the
There are ripe for exploration. By its very nature, the left
brain cannot help becoming involved in constructive evaluation
and application. The right brain is forcing it to do so—
and the right brain is in charge.
What has happened is that our left brain has become so
thoroughly entrenched—and justifiably so—in
providing
means of survival in the Earth Life System that it resists anything
and everything that may interfere with or interrupt the
process. What occurs beyond time-space, in the There, does
not calculate by ordinary Earth Life System standards. More
important, information from There appears to have no value
for Earth Life System inhabitants. Only when our left brain
recognizes that such knowledge is a most vital tool for growth
in the There will specific interest be generated.
Our Different Overview includes most emphatically the
maturing talents of our left brain. As we have said, that's
what we came here to acquire. Dominant-right-brainers find
this difficult, or impossible, to accept.
As it is the boss, the right brain often forces the left brain
to perform in a way that tends to destroy thousands of years
of evolution. Meanwhile, our left brain continues to pick up the usable
ideas and inspirations of the right brain and make
them into something of value. It tolerates the nonproductive
right brain patterns as long as they don't get in the way. It
also heavily distorts some right brain patterns to convert them
into the Earth Life System survivor-predator organization.
For our Different Overview, here are two definitions:
Left Brain = Human Mind modified by the Earth Life
System.
Right Brain = Expression of the Core Self, the timeless,
nonphysical part of us, untouched and unaffected by the
Earth Life System.
The trick is to get both left and right brain into simultaneous
and synchronous action, nudging the left brain more
and more into taking part in the There activity. You should
never abandon one for the other.
* * *
Once all this is in place, you may find that the following
points will help:
1. Always know and remember that you are "more than your
physical body." This will provide instant perspective on any
Earth Life System activity. The agony becomes tolerable, the
ecstasy more profound. Locally induced fears evaporate.
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2. Recognize and control your survival drive. Use it instead of
allowing it to use you. Here are some suggestions:
a. One part of the formula (Physical Life = Good) is
needed for the Earth Life System and is acceptable during
your stay. The other part (Physical Death = Bad) you can
discard because you will know better.
b. Remember that your ultimate goal is not physical survival.
Thus, while it is valid that you are here to do certain
things and there are functions you must perform to
be here to do them, you don't need to be desperate about
it. Accidents may happen, but you cannot lose; you have
had the experience of being human.
c. The sexual reproductive drive is the most powerful
animal instinct of the Earth Life System. Designed specifically
for physical survival of the species, it controls and
is manipulated to control most aspects of human behavior.
Enjoy it, but there's no need to live or die for it. And
enjoy the manipulations for what they are; succumb only
knowingly.
d. Physical assets (material, food, tools, toys) are great
for local use, but ownership is only a matter of temporary
convenience. You not only cannot but you would
not want to take them with you—not even your physical
body.
3. Maintain your transient status. You are being human at
your own option in the strictest sense. That option remains in force
throughout your visit. You may pack up your experience
and leave whenever and for wherever you desire, with no
censure or penalties from any source that matters. If your
Human Mind is satisfied, you will do this in spite of local
custom or effort. Earth Life System addicts may not understand,
but that is their problem.
4. Enjoy your life in the System, maximize your highs and
lows—but don't become addicted. Get through being angry at
how the system works, the seeming inequities, the unfair advantages,
the brutalities, the callousness, the deceit. It's a
predator world by design—and it's a superb teaching machine.
5. Exercise your Human Mind as fully as possible, knowing it
is only an exercise. Build beautiful artifacts, solve "problems,"
smell the flowers and watch the sunsets, compose music,
explore the "secrets" of the physical universe, savor the
input from all of your five senses, absorb the nuances of close
relationships and situations, feel the joy and sorrow, the
laughter, the empathy, compassion—and tuck all of the
emotional
memory in your travel bag.
6. Most important, let the Human Mind of you seek out,
experience, and add to your flow of consciousness where and
when you encounter it. Drink it in, but watch out for the
tendency to wallow in it due to the reminders of Home contained
therein. Beware of illusions and collusion which make
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it sometimes difficult to sort out the real in the Earth Life
System environment.
7. Your Human Mind has a natural and normal proclivity to
try to make things in the Earth Life System much the way it is
accustomed to in the There. History is full of such attempts,
but in the end the system always wins. An edge may have been
frayed, but the predator animalism simply comes back, sometimes
a bit smarter than before, and takes over. That does not
mean you don't try in your Human Mind expression, and it is
possible that you might change a part of it, but you will never
change it all. If you did manage a complete overhaul, the
system wouldn't and couldn't exist. Yet who knows how
much longer it will exist anyway?
All the above points are Knowns to others and are easy
to verify for your own knowing through direct logical working
of your left brain on each question or belief. Solidify your
Different Overview by proving these for yourself—and for
yourself only.
* * *
At this point, the Earth Life System theme seemed complete—
but it was not. Another part of me who knows deeply the
Karth Life System from another overview demanded to be
heard:
. . . It was a long walk through the forest to reach the
ocean. Along the way, the path was quiet except for the hum of insects
and the occasional call of a crow high in the tall
trees. In the lush undergrowth, a slight crackling of dry leaves
told of small residents, if one listened carefully. Under the
fresh smell of growing green lay the deep aroma of moist
earth and decaying vegetation, both silent signals of the life
cycle in progress.
There was little wind as the soft rumble of surf grew
steadily in strength. Then the forest ended and the gray-green
sea spread out to the horizon, stately cumulus cloud towers
drifting overhead through a clear, clean azure sky. The grassy
bank where the white beach began gave an irresistible invitation
to ease down, lie back, and relax. The waves were gentle,
placid; the breeze cool and soft; the sun warm and fresh.
All comes to this, the beginning and the end of an aeonslong
period of time. This living mass of air, water, and land—
what it gives and what it takes—what it produces.
It is more than awareness; more than consciousness;
more than experience. It is more than intelligence, knowledge,
truth, and understanding. The whole is so much greater than
the sum of the parts.
It is such a wonderful learning process; learning to separate
this from that, and the differences and comparisons: heat
from cold, light from dark, noise from silence, strength from
weakness, pain from comfort, thick from thin, rough from
smooth, hard from soft, balance from instability.
There is the learning of cause and effect, action and reaction,
price and paying, authority and responsibility. And the
options you learn to recognize: stop or start, hold or release,
sink or swim, laugh or cry, friend or enemy, reward or retri-
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bution, success or failure, love or hate, win or lose, organization
or chaos.
There is the learning to think: to coordinate, count, calculate,
and communicate; to remember, connect, plan, and
have ideas; to daydream, create, hope, believe, and know.
And the ability to experience and express emotion: joy and
ecstasy, sadness, compassion, loneliness, communion; righteous
and irrational anger—and the appreciation of the
beauty of form and movement.
And there is the learning to learn: words and numbers,
writing, passing experience, knowledge, and wisdom from
parent to child, generation to generation, without the trauma
of reenactment. Learning to establish systems, laws, and rules
that insure this learning will continue and expand.
It is all there beyond the forest. It is in the ripening carpets
of grain, the neat, multimillion rows of nourishing plants,
and the mills that reshape matter into more usable form. It is
in the many different shelters that are labeled home, the tall
and slender towers that reach for the sky, the motor vehicles
that become a substitute body, the ships sailing around the
world atop and beneath the oceans, the winged carriers that
draw white lines in the sky, and the metallic birds that hover
and circle the globe hundreds, thousands of miles above its
surface, each delivering innumerable items of information every
second, day and night. And it is in the invisible yet measurable
network of controlled radiation that serves for communication
and local direction-finding.
And there is more, such as the amplification of perception
through lens and mirror and electronic ears to search the universe for
a signal, just one signal, to assuage the loneliness,
searching through stars, constellations, galaxies, novas, and
black holes. There is the illogical thrust away from our blue
planet to the nearby moon, where an indelible footprint was
left in the dust. There is the ranging and reporting of surrogate
explorers to view and land on other planets, and thence
moving on into the blackness of deep space.
Learn too of the steady unfolding of the patterns that
once seemed inviolate in land, water, and air; of alloys, compounds,
elements, atoms, molecules, nuclear particles, radiation,
and waveforms; of gravity, inertia, momentum,
centrifugal force, polarity; of the organic and inorganic, the
living physical structures and their processes.
Learn of the search for mind and creator; of belief systems,
sleep and dreams, visions and visionaries, philosophies
and religions.
Learn also of Love.
This then is the wondrous package of achievement
through millennia of evolutionary effort that we may carry
lightly and easily but with triumph into the far reaches beyond;
a heritage of inestimable quality, to be evaluated and
applied in the There.
Yet . . . and yet . . . among the clouds and the clamor
there is an uncomfortable sense of a missing factor, vital and
important. Turn your attention, and a small face appears
amid the mass of other knowing. It is shaped less than human
and more than monkey. The eyes are luminous with emotion.
It is there, all of it, in the eyes. From across the span of
timelessness, the carrier of that first spark of intelligent con-
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sciousness, the original ancestor, looks out and observes with
quiet pride and joy, with appreciation but not total comprehension,
and with awe at the growth of the spark. It is the
parent of a prodigal child.
Here, seen clearly and cleanly, is one missing factor—the
animal base. None of this could have happened but for its
presence and provision. It was the living demonstration from
which to learn, providing the flesh to be consumed, the milk
to drink, the hides and furs to give warmth, the stronger back
to share the burden, oil for light, and trinkets and amulets
from tusk and horn. There was loyalty too and a form of
friendship, while there were some who found that fur and
bare skin do mix and bring forth patterns of understanding
far beyond anything envisioned.
This animal energy was the driving force behind the
spark. It provided not the catalyst but the needs, motivations,
and raw physical power. It is not to be hidden or demeaned
but included warmly and surely as the underlying essential
without which nothing would have taken place. We must hold
it up with pride for all to know.
And with the knowing, the little face smiles slightly,
softly, even wistfully, then fades.
It is time to move on. The walk back along the path
through the forest is filled with greetings. A squirrel on a low
branch looks down and chatters. A bottle-green fly lands on a
hand and enjoys gentle back-stroking with a finger. Three
turkeys stand aside and watch the passage curiously but without
wariness. A gray fox wanders onto the path and sits
down, undecided as to whether to pay his respects. A thrush
glides down, settles on a shoulder, and chirps softly into an:
ear until the edge of the forest is reached. With a final peck on
the cheek, it pulses its wings and returns to the middle
branches.
Goodbye, my friends. But I do take you with me.
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8
Recall and Review
At this stage, it seemed sensible, before going any further,
to search for the new direction and missing Basic in the
area where I spent most of my effort. After all, I had been
involved with this left and right brain stuff for many years.
Was there something that I had missed—something that, even
if it did not answer the questions, might point the. way? Perhaps
a review of what we had been—and still are—doing
would be in order.
I mentioned earlier my first out-of-body experiences in
1958, which turned my life around. At that time, the Research
and Development Division of the corporation which I headed,
whose speciality was the sound production of network radio
programs, had developed an efficient means by which sound
could be used to induce sleep easily and comfortably. In the
same year, a discovery was made that changed the entire direction
of investigation and eventually of the corporation itself:
that certain patterns of sound will induce different states
of consciousness not ordinarily available to the human mind. In the
following decades, a continuing program of research
brought additional verification of the effects produced
by these states and of the specific sound combinations and
frequencies needed to produce them. Methods and techniques
were found to enable the individual to maintain and control
various mind patterns. In 1971, The Monroe Institute was
created out of the Research and Development Division to supplement
the research effort. Later the Institute became an independent
educational and research organization. Thanks to
the cooperation and input of hundreds of specialists and volunteers,
including scientists, doctors, psychologists, educators,
computer programmers, corporate executives, artists,
and many others, the Institute is now internationally known
for its work in this field.
It should be made clear that the early research effort
and expenditure were not aimed at the betterment of mankind,
nor intended to prove any point to the scientific community
or the world at large. It was simply an attempt to
control learning patterns during sleep, and later to understand
the relationships between mind, brain-body, and consciousness
phenomena. Thus, until recently, no academic
papers were published and orthodox scientific methods,
though followed wherever feasible, were often ignored
when they proved unworkable. The methods developed contain
no dogma or rituals, nor do they espouse any particular
belief systems, religions, political or social stance. No
drugs or chemicals are involved, nor are hypnosis, subliminal
suggestions, or anything remotely resembling brainwashing.
They are noninvasive, and the individual is always in charge,
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exercising his or her own will and not under the command of
another.
Using the results of many thousands of hours of research,
subjects are able to learn conscious control of many different
and productive states of consciousness, and the fall-out from
this exploration of consciousness has produced valuable contributions
in a host of other areas. These include physical and
mental health, learning and memory, physical coordination,
creativity, problem-solving, and stress management. The process,
known as Hemispheric Synchronization, or Hemi-Sync
for short, provides its users with a self-controlled tool to accomplish
their own goals by facilitating and sustaining a purposefully
focused, highly productive, coherent mind-brain
state.*
Over the years, new approaches to ways of thinking have
emerged at the Institute. Together they form, as we might say,
a Different Overview.
Consciousness Is a Continuum
In our focused wakefulness, we as Human Minds employ that
part of the consciousness spectrum limited to time-space. This
is made possible by the device we identify as a physical body,
with its five physical senses. This physical body permits us to
express externally our mind-consciousness through physical
activity and communication.
* An account of the methods and techniques of the Institute, and of the
practical applications of its technology, will be found in the Addenda.
When this focusing is affected for any reason, our mind
begins to drift along the consciousness spectrum away from
time-space perception, becoming less aware of the immediate
physical world. When this happens, we become conscious in
another form. The fact that we often have difficulty in remembering
correctly our participation in that other part of the
consciousness spectrum does not negate its reality. The problem
lies in perception and translation, diffused and distorted
as they are by the use of current time-space systems of analysis
and measurement.
The spectrum of consciousness ranges, seemingly endlessly,
beyond time-space into other energy systems. It also
continues "downward" through animal and plant life, possibly
into the subatomic level. Everyday human consciousness is
active commonly in only a small segment of the consciousness
continuum.
The Phasing Concept
The methods and techniques of the Institute can be identified
as means to establish and control phases of consciousness. In
the waking physical state, the untrained mind makes these
phase shifts frequently each day with little or no control.
Primary Phasing is the state where the mind is fully focused
on physical sensory input or activity. Any deviation
from this condition can be regarded as a phase shift, where
some part or percentile of consciousness is, to a certain degree,
aware in another form. One example is inattention,
where physical sensory input remains strong but part of the
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mind has "wandered." What we call daydreaming is another.
Introspection, where attention is turned away from physical
awareness, is a more deliberate phase shift, as are certain
meditative states. Sleep is a shift in phasing to another state of
consciousness where very little awareness of physical sensory
input is taking place.
Ingestion of alcohol and certain drugs evokes split phase
shifts, where part of consciousness is "here" and part in another
area of the continuum. In these cases, when the stimulus
is removed, the phasing fades. Psychoses and dementia are
inadvertent instances, and in these conditions drugs or chemicals
may be employed to dim or eliminate the nonphysical
area.
To understand the process clearly, we may consider the
physical body as a tuning mechanism through which the human
mind can operate in physical consciousness. As such, it
contains circuitry that converts physical sensory patterns into
forms that can be perceived by the mind, much as a radio or
television receiver is tuned to a particular frequency band in
the electromagnetic spectrum. In these receivers, there is a
discriminator section that filters out for the most part any
distracting or distorting signals or harmonics from other parts
of the spectrum. As we tune a radio receiver gradually from
one station—or frequency—to another, one signal
fades and
another is faintly heard. The receiver is shifting out of phase
with the original station to the point where another station
can be heard simultaneously. As we continue retuning, the
original station is no longer heard and the other signal takes
over.
101
The human mind, which also has access to a "discrimina
tor," acts in a similar way. The mind untrained in the tuning
process drifts slowly out of control from one phase of consciousness
to another. As it does so, signals are received partly
from the physical mechanism and partly from a different segment
of the consciousness continuum. The signal input from
the physical state diminishes until no such signals reach the
mind, which moves into the state generally known as sleep or
unconsciousness.
The learning systems devised at the Institute offer a
means to place these phase shifts under willful control of the
individual. In the early stages of this learning, the mind becomes
completely at ease and feels little fear or anxiety in the
resulting changes. The reason for this is that these states of
consciousness are familiar territory. It is the presentation in a
new and organized form that makes the difference, where any
changes are made deliberately by the mind itself.
Left Brain/Right Brain Symbols
The Institute's investigations led to a path being taken which
ran in the opposite direction to that followed by some others
involved in mind research. Almost the whole effort has been
and is directed to the utilization of left brain methodology, of
the intellectual, analytical portion of the mind, to explore the
right brain, the intuitive, abstract side.
In exploration of consciousness, most of the research has
been conducted by placing the subject in a booth that insures
an isolated environment. Through methods and techniques
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employing varying patterns of sound, the subject is given the
means to enter into different states of consciousness. Outside
the booth, a technician operates the audio and various items
of electronic measuring equipment and records the subject's
brain waves and other physical responses, while a monitor is
in voice communication with the subject in the booth. The
stereo headphones worn by the subject give the effect of the
monitor being inside the subject's head. As such, the monitor
becomes a surrogate left brain of the subject, encouraging the
subject to utilize more of his or her own intellect to know and
understand what he or she is doing.
By this method the subject learns to become objective in
his or her experience, and it becomes possible to gather information
and details not ordinarily available in purely subjective
states of awareness. The result is whole brain thinking of
extreme value; cohesive, integrated, without dominance by
either part. All of our training systems, whether live or on
tape, are nothing less than surrogate left brain devices that
enable the user-participant to hold on to his analytical capability
during unusual and even exotic states of consciousness.
They permit growth through familiarity and understanding,
and enable the penetration of the greatest barrier of
all—fear.
We have discovered that right brain territory without
limitations is a rich and fertile ground for mining operations
by the left brain. It is the coherent whole brain consciousness
that produces the precious nuggets.
The work is by no means finished. The Institute is still
evolving ways to produce replicable physiological data that
identify forms of human consciousness generally unknown or unrecognized
by contemporary cultural standards. To take
one specific example: we are looking for ways and means to
bring to accessible levels the various extraordinary human
capabilities that have appeared, seemingly at random,
throughout our history. By investigation of individuals who
possess these abilities, inherent or acquired, such as composers
of music, top-flight mathematicians, outstanding athletes,
especially talented therapists, and so on, we seek to discover
techniques by the application of which such abilities may be
learned.
Continuing investigation along these and similar lines offers
the prospect of bringing into understandable and acceptable
form the true nature of unorthodox mind phenomena.
The inclusion of these into the contemporary cultural context
could become a significant event in human history.
But as I look at my work and the work of the Institute, I
hear a small voice, a voice that insists on being heard. "Well
now," it says—and I cannot say I feel comfortable to hear
it—
"if that's all there is to your life's work at this point, then
there's certainly something missing. Here you are, showing
people how to use the whole of their brains and have a socalled
Different Overview, but you don't seem to be doing
anything to prepare them for what really matters. This Earth
Life System stuff is all very well, but they don't stay here
forever. They expect more and, I have to tell you, they expect
it from you. So—what about it?"
What about it indeed.
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9
The Hard Way
Both the work of The Monroe Institute and the Earth
Life System itself were strong Knowns to me. Yet there was an
uncomfortable feeling that clues and traces of my missing Basic
were there. I simply wasn't able to perceive them.
I turned again to my own personal activities. One of the
Knowns emerging through repeated examination was that
moving into out-of-body no longer had for me what could be
called "movement." Experienced subjects in the Institute laboratory
had reported this many times, but it was not a part of
my personal pattern until I began what I called the "quickswitch"
method. Thereafter what happened was a fading out
of one consciousness state into another. To describe it as "going
out-of-phase" seemed more accurate and satisfied better
my left brain classification system.
So this became a repeating pattern. However, I had begun
to notice that whenever things were going so smoothly a
major change was gathering energy. The forewarning was
usually so obscure that only in retrospect could it be
verified This time, what shook me out of my complacency was a
series of incidents that began to occur more and more frequently
when I phased out-of-body during the sleep state.
They were remarkably similar to the "tests" I had encountered
years before. These tests were learning procedures
whereby, when I was in an out-of-body state, a given experience
was repeated several times until a particular response
was evoked in me. The experience was not repeated thereafter.
These tests were nonverbal and were apparently conducted
by a nonphysical, presumably my INSPEC friend. We
would meet shortly after I left the physical state, and I would
be asked if I were ready. With complete trust, I would agree.
Immediately there would be a loud click, and I would find
myself fully immersed in the experience. Gone and forgotten
was the fact that it was not "real," and I would live it totally.
At a crucial point where a significant decision had to be made,
I would make it. Then there would come another loud click
and I was back with the INSPEC. If I had performed satisfactorily,
that particular test would not be repeated. If I had not
done so, I would have to go back and try again until I did.
It never occurred to me to question why I was being
tested and who judged what the correct decision had to be.
Most if not all of the tests seemed completely unrelated to this
physical life, although many of them were couched in human-
Earth settings and situations. I assumed that "someone"
smarter than I needed my kind of answers and I, sometimes
shakily, was glad to oblige.
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This new version seemed much the same, except that
there was no supervising INSPEC that I could determine. The
episodes occurred months after our last meeting and there had
been no sign of the INSPEC's presence despite my continuing
hopes. As before, the identical situation would be presented in
various forms, all with the need for a decision. It would have
been easy to dismiss them as simply vivid dreams if they had
not been preceded by INSPEC-structured modality. Moreover,
I had not had ordinary dreams or nightmares for years.
These incidents became so strong that they could not be
ignored. The direction change that was coming had been in
place long before. The blow that got my attention was the
discovery that various physiological and mental states were
beginning to reflect in my physical waking consciousness as a
result of these activities. In all my previous out-of-body adventures,
there had been no aftereffects such as these. There
had been excitement and exhilaration, or sadness and joy—
and these would be expressed in my placid and relaxed physical
body upon return. But there had never been stomach nausea,
aching arms and legs, rapid heartbeat, the entire nervous
system pulled tight. These effects would often last as long as
fifteen or twenty minutes after returning.
Thus it wasn't curiosity but necessity that again pushed
me to find answers—the same motivation that years before
had led me to explore the out-of-body experience. But this
time there was a difference. I was not overloaded with fear
and I had tools and friends to work with. And I had at least
the beginnings of a map of the territory. The first step was
to review events and actions in the past
to try to determine what had caused this change in direction.
In doing so, perhaps I would get a clue as to the missing Basic.
I have described earlier that, contrary to my own expectations,
my whole history of OB experience was left brain
dominant. This neatly verified earlier findings as to the value
of acquired left brain abilities during Human Mind sojourn in
the Earth Life System. One automatically assumed that OB
was all right brain stuff because it was not of time-space and
therefore was totally unrelated to the logical, analytical thinking
process. But this assumption was wrong. In every one of
my OB activities, the reasoning part of me was present to
some degree. Moreover, the greater such participation, the
greater the growth that took place. Growth in this instance
can be construed as "understanding leading to familiarity resulting
in application." Without this acquired ability, it is
likely that I still would be wallowing in the air above the bed
or existing only via a prescribed daily dose of tranquilizers.
A typical illustration: In the very early days, I was returning
confidently to my physical body from a "local" outof-
body trip, with everything under control, everything working
as I was sure it would. Suddenly I slammed against a
barrier and came to a stop. I tried to push through it, but it
was as hard as plates of steel. I was positive that my physical
body was on the other side of the barrier, and thus it was vital
that I go through to it. I went up a vast distance but could find
no break in the wall. I went down, with the same result, and
to the right and the left. There was no way through. I was
thoroughly frightened, envisioning spending all eternity plas-
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terred against this impenetrable wall. I tried every prayer I
could think of, screamed for help, and finally draped myself
.igainst the barrier sobbing much like a lost child—which I
was.
After what seemed an eternity, when my sobbing had
worn itself out, I leaned back and began to reason. If I
couldn't go through the barrier, if I couldn't go over it, under
it, or around it, that left only one option—to go back in the
direction whence I had come. No matter what I had believed,
it could be the only answer.
I did so . . . and moments later I was back in my physical
body with ridiculous ease—thanks to left brain logic.
Every succeeding barrier I encountered eventually gave
way to the information-gathering, probing, syllogistic analysis
of that learned-on-Earth part of me. Vast differences in situation
and setting had to be taken into account, but the investigative
and learning processes were exactly the same. Nevertheless,
once the situation was in place answers and solutions
did not appear magically. The analytical tool we call the left
brain neatly provided them. I may not have liked them as they
evolved but I could not deny their accuracy.
p. 109 ("Ultimate Journey")
What we
need to do, whether
in- or out-of-body, is to
ignore or tear down the No Trespassing signs, the taboos, the
notice that says Holy of Holies, the distortions of time and
translation, the soft black holes of euphoria, the mysticisms, the
myths, the fantasies of an eternal father or mother image, and then
take a good look with our acquired and growing left
brain. Nothing is sacred to the point where it should not be
investigated or put under inquiry. We must grant that this
requires a quantum leap for our
Different Overview. It can be compared to getting out of local
traffic with its confusion, snarls, and stoplights and taking the
Interstate—a major highway into the Unknown. The map that
we are developing will cover the route as far as our active
consciousness patterns can extend it.
But mapping the Interstate is one matter; traveling it is
something else. It cannot become an absolute Known until it
is actually traversed by the individual with the left brain in full
and active mode. Unless, that is, you begin to remember what
it is like. All the same, the map and a Different Overview may
help you to construct a more accurate belief that may eventually
be easier to convert into a Known.
Now to return to my new development, the penetration
of my physical self by out-of-body responses. My left brain
insisted that the physically distracting new signals were
caused by some important detail that I had missed. Was this, I
wondered, the clue or cue to the missing Basic?
I had two options. The first was, now that I understood
better, to go back to the beginning to pick up what I had
missed. The second was to lie around in a beautiful cloud of
love and keep on wondering: what if . . . ? The first seemed
more constructive.
Having made my choice, I began to move out of phase at
about three the following morning. Then I used the quickswitch
method to the earliest point in my conscious memory.
At once I felt a signal vibrating within me. I followed
it—and
came upon a scene I remembered well. There was someone
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beside me—it felt like a brother. He seemed nervous. I was
pointing at the figure of a man lying facedown in the middle
of a dusty road. He was a youngster, no more than eighteen.
A battle was going on all around him. Some fifty or sixty
men in short brown togas with wide leather belts around their
waists were fighting an approximately equal number of dark,
bearded men, small in stature but who seemed to have incredible
strength. Both sides were armed with short swords,
spears, and round shields. There was shouting, moaning, and
screaming, the clanging of metal against metal, clouds of dust,
blood spurting, confusion. The wide belts, it seemed, were
losing.
The eighteen-year-old, who wore a wide belt, was struggling
to pull himself up. The problem was the spear which
was holding him down. The spear had penetrated his back,
gone all the way through his body and deep into the dirt of
the road. His efforts became slower and weaker,, until they
ceased.
Suddenly, I remembered that years ago I had felt the pain
of the spear in my back, but this time it was different. I turned
to the man beside me. He was in obvious pain. I asked him if
he understood. He nodded, then turned and moved away, and
disappeared.
There was nothing for me to do but to try to help. I bent
over the youngster and shouted for him to get up. I saw his
head—no, not his physical head—lift out of his
body, and I
reached over, grabbed it, and pulled. He slid out easily.
I told him to stand up. He did so, and looked around at the
fighting. Then he noticed a sword lying at his feet. He
reached down and tried to pick it up, but his hand went
through it. Puzzled, he tried again.
I told him to take it easy. He looked at me angrily.
"I must get back into the fight. My friends are dying."
I told him that was impossible as he himself was dead.
"What are you saying? I am strong—I can think!"
I pointed behind him where his physical body lay in the
dust, blood congealing around it. He turned and stared at it,
dumbfounded. He bent over and peered intently at the dead
face. Then he looked up at me.
"But . . . I'm alive! I'm not dead!"
I asked him exactly what had happened. He answered
vaguely; his interest was still focused on the raging battle.
"We were marching quickly along the road, looking for
the enemy, eager to join battle. There was shouting—then
something hit me in the back. I was down in the dust, and I
couldn't get up—something was holding me down."
"What happened next?"
"I gave up trying because I was so weak. I heard you
calling—and there was a click. And I stood up."
I pointed to his body in the dust. He glanced at it, then
turned back to me.
"But I'm not dead! How can I stand and talk to you if
I'm dead?"
I suggested he try to rejoin the battle, but that was a
mistake. He rushed away into the thick of the swords and
spears, into the tumult and confusion. When a sword swing
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he couldn't dodge went through him with no effect, he
watched in fascination.
A moment later a short, bearded man attacked him from
behind and the two fell to the ground punching and gouging
one another. It took me a second or two to realize that the
bearded man also had dropped his physical attachment in the
battle. They might still be rolling on the ground centuries
later, trying to kill each other!
I went over to the struggling duo and shouted that they
were wasting their energy. They were both physically dead, I
insisted, and there was no way they could hurt each other. I
repeated this until they finally got the message. They rolled
apart and looked at me. The bearded man got on his knees,
bent forward, and touched his head to the ground, moaning
an unintelligible chant. The youngster looked at him bewildered,
then at me.
"He thinks you're a god. Are you?"
"No," I replied. "Just a friend."
He felt the place where the spear had penetrated.
"There's no hole, no blood . . . Are you sure you're not
a god?"
I laughed, shook my head, and told him I had to be
leaving. Around us, the battle was less intense. More forms
were moving out of destroyed and dismembered bodies. Soon
the place would be crowded with ex-physical humans, all with
bewildered expressions on their faces. The youngster touched
my hand.
"Can I go with you?" I hesitated, but a deep inner surge immediately
gave me
the answer. I grasped his hand and started to move upward.
He looked uncertain.
"I . . . I'm not a bird—I can't fly!"
I gently pulled on his hand and slowly we rose above the
battlefield. It took but a moment for his anxiety to drop away,
and we both shouted in joy as we sped up and out. In my
mind I hit the return code on the quick-switch system. There
was a flare of light and we hung motionless in the lighter grays
of the intermediate rings. I felt the youngster's hand in mine.
The question was, where do I drop him off? Just as I was
about to ask him, I became aware that the pressure of his
hand had gone. I whirled around. Nothing. No youngster.
Nobody. What was going on?
This event was similar to a previous happening in an outof-
body experience many years earlier, but with some basic
differences. Then I was the person who was being shown the
dying youngster because I myself had experienced an inexplicable
physical abdominal pain. Now I was the one who was
showing the "old me" the reason. I had, it seemed, answered
an earlier call for help—from myself! And the youngster?
Where did he go?
I was about to return to the physical to think it over
when another signal came in strongly. This time I understood
it more clearly. It was much like hearing someone call for
help, or a telephone ringing when you know it's your phone.
It was not difficult to home in on it.
Below me appeared a small building, with a hole in the
side of it and wide steps leading down inside. I walked care-
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fully down the steps because the signal was coming from inside.
There lying on a cot was a man thrashing around wildly.
Hanging on to his back were two children, about four or five
years old, riding out the bucking and pitching. The man was
sobbing in fear and desperately trying to pull the two little
ones off his shoulders.
I reached over and gently pulled the children away from
him. He lay back in the cot whimpering in relief. I looked
down at the children lying quietly, one cradled in each of my
arms. They were not children but cats—pets I remembered
well. Cats in an OB state! I put my two old friends on the
roof, walked back up the stairs, and once at the top, pulled
the quick-switch phasing just slightly.
I returned to the physical, feeling that this would have to
be thought through logically. It was easy for me to remember
the two experiences I had, as it were, revisited, but the perspective
in both was different. What was the change common
to both?
Logic had an answer, although I did not know how I
could accept it.
In the first incident many years ago I was taken by someone
and shown the primitive battle to explain a pain in my
physical body that I was suffering at the time. I knew then
that I was the young warrior impaled in the dust by a spear.
Upon realizing this, I had returned to the physical in relief and
understanding.
This time, however, I was the one who was doing the
showing. I was the one who took the then worried me to the
old battle scene hundreds or even thousands of years ago to
explain the pain. So I was the one who was helping me. Also I
was the young warrior dying in the dust—that was the onlyway
it made sense. That meant, therefore, there were three
versions of me at the same place at the same time!
In the second event from years back, I had been the one
screaming for help, trying to dislodge the little demons who
wanted to ride me like a horse, who seemed to own me. And
then a serious-looking man came down the steps and took
them off me, held them in his arms, and suddenly disappeared.
I remembered that he had looked familiar, like a
cousin I had known. But this time I was the one who came
down the steps and helped by taking the little cat friends
away. I had come to help when I screamed for it! This, I
thought, was a little less complicated—there were only two of
me present!
Were all of such current nonphysical events simply calls
or screams for help from other I's in different times and
places? Who was this I that had the audacity to answer these
calls? Have I been helping me through all these years?
The apparent multiplicity and interchangeability of self
had yet to fit a pattern I could accept or understand. Nor did
it provide an answer to the uncontrolled events that were so
disturbing to my physical life. Were they all cries for help?
From an earlier me? The prospect was overwhelming.
What my left brain told me was happening was that If
from the future had been going back in time to help the I of
the past when needed. The signals for help were coming from
earlier versions of me, not only in this life but in previous
ones. I wondered if this was the same for everybody. I won-
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dered what had happened to the young warrior I who had
followed me out of the battlefield. Why did he disappear?
Somewhere in the maze was the answer. If I began with
the Knowns, the whole thing would fit somewhere along the
way. What I needed to do was to move into that area in
the There that was familiar, and look around. For the time
being, however, I sought and managed to keep things under
control.
Then one night several weeks later, I came to a decision.
At the start of a sleep cycle, I rolled out-of-body, moving less
out-of-phase than usual, and taking care about what I was
doing. I found myself exactly where I expected to be if I really
needed to take up the threads again—in the gray area just
beyond the entry point from time-space. Immediately I received
a signal. I was attracted to a house in the suburbs of a
large city. The house seemed vaguely familiar, wide and spacious
but empty of furnishings.
I slipped in through the front wall and in the foyer encountered
a woman about fifty years old, gray-haired, small
and thin. She was wandering through the house from room to
room and when I put out my hand to intercept her she seemed
surprised that I was there and was paying attention to her.
"Are you here to hang the pictures again?" she asked.
I said I was not and that I was interested in her.
"They took all the pictures down, out of my house. My
house! Now no one even speaks to me."
I asked her why she stayed there. Why didn't she leave?
"This is my house. This is where I belong. I don't care if
no one notices me anymore."
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Didn't she feel anything different? I asked.
"Only that nobody will do what I ask them to do. They
ignore me as if I wasn't here."
I asked her if she remembered dying.
"Dying? Of course not! I was sick, but I got well. One
minute I was sick and the next thing I knew I was up and
walking around!"
I remarked that nobody saw her and that she was all
alone. She tossed her head.
"No one ever sees me. They never paid me much attention
when William was around. Now he's gone, they ignore
me completely."
"I bet you can't pick up that dining room chair," I said.
"Your hand will go right through it. You'll see!"
"That's ridiculous!" she exclaimed. "Of course I can:
pick it up. I'll show you."
She tried several times, and each time her hand went
through the chair back. She looked at me in confusion.
"I . . . I don't know what's the matter. I thought it was
some sort of hallucination you get when you're old. But . . .
you can see it too."
I showed her that my hand went through the chair back
just as hers had done. She looked amazed.
"You have the same problem!"
People have this problem, I explained, when their physical
body dies.
"But . . . but I'm alive!"
It is the body that dies, I told her. The body. Not you.
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She was quiet for a time but she didn't seem to be in
shock. Then she looked at me anxiously.
"I was waiting for William to come back, but he hasn't.
And I love my house so much. He built it just for me. I don't
want to leave it, I love it so."
I suggested that we go and look for William.
"Oh no, we can't do that! He passed away five years
ago."
I repeated the suggestion, adding that I thought we ought
to try. She looked at me steadily.
"I really am . . . dead?"
I nodded.
"And you are . . . an angel? You don't look like one.
You're real normal."
I was, I assured her, just a friend. She shrank back.
"I've never met you before in my life! You're not a
friend! You must be one of Satan's devils."
I didn't try to convince her otherwise. I said I was sorry
to have bothered her and started to leave.
"Wait! Please wait!"
I turned and stood quietly. She regarded me speculatively.
"If you really were a devil's helper, I couldn't possibly
chase you away, could I?"
I told her I didn't know because I had never met one.
"It's been so lonely . . . Can we really find William?"
We could try, I said. I reached for her hand and started to
lift out toward the ceiling. "I can't do that! I don't know
how! Your hand is real—I
can feel it—but I can't just float up in the air!"
I pulled her hand gently and she began to rise easily.
Excitement glowed in her.
"Oh, what fun! Is this being dead? My, my! Let's go find 1
William! Won't he be surprised?"
We cruised slowly more and more out-of-phase. I remembered
the previous point where we had met, many years before.
It was in a rented house in Westchester County, New
York, where I lived temporarily. She was still hanging around
the house months after her physical death. At the time, I had
gently backed away from the contact. Now I knew better.
I kept us moving slowly outward because I figured that,
somewhere along the way, William would be attracted by the
bait and would take over from me. But she held on firmly,
making excited comments as we passed through the inner
rings of the Belief System Territories. I was becoming impressed.
William had more to him than I had estimated, based
upon her perceived radiation of him. He should be here. But
now the only place he could be was in the outer phases. He
had kept his progress well hidden from his wife, that was
certain.
I was about to ask her more about William when I no
longer felt her hand in mine. I turned instantly, but she was
gone, completely disappeared. There was no sign at all of her
radiation. The only answer I could come up with was that
William was very good indeed if he was this far out in the
rings. I phased back into the physical to think it over.
A few weeks later I tried again. The process was becom-
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ing so smooth that it was hard to define when I actually left
the body. It was more the fading out of one state of being and
into another, similar to falling asleep and staying conscious
while doing so. I was still hesitant to use the quick-switch
method for "short hops." It would be like taking a Concorde
to fly from Newark to Kennedy!
In the deeper gray area another signal was waiting. It
seemed too easy; perhaps, I wondered, I was reading it wrong.
I was about to home in on the signal when somebody called. I
turned and saw an odd kind of glow. It resolved into a man,
small, sharp-featured, somewhere in middle age, with a
squinty frown and curled lips.
"Hey, you—where are you going?"
I approached cautiously.
"Where you going?"
"Hello."
"Out looking for the secrets of the universe, is that it?"
"I guess that's what I'm doing."
"Good luck! I'm having a hard enough time without
looking for anything more."
"Why, what's the matter?"
"The matter? I went and died, that's what's the matter!"
"What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing wrong, except I sure wasn't ready for it."
"Maybe we never are ready."
"Well, I could have been but nobody told me! Nobody
told me it was going to be like this! Those bastards yelling and
screaming about gates of heaven, hellfire and damnation—
they didn't know what they were talking about! Anyway, I wish you luck,
because they could have told me like it is
instead of giving me a bunch of hogwash!"
"Well, what's the problem?"
"The problem? Look around you—that's the problem!"
"There's nothing there that I can see. Just the usual deep
blackness."
"That's what I mean! Nothing, absolutely nothing! Hey,
you know you're the first person I've met? Nothing—but
nothing—and then you come along!"
"I'm sorry you're disappointed."
"You're like me, eh?"
"Like you? What do you mean?"
"You died—you just died—and you don't know what the
hell to do!"
"It isn't quite like that . . ."
"Come on, come on! You're either dead or you're not!"
"I'm pretty sure I'm not."
"You're not dead?"
"No."
"Then what the hell are you doing here?"
"That's a long story."
He looked at me in disgust.
"I bet it is! You wouldn't be here if you weren't dead!"
"It's a little more complicated than that."
"Tell me about it! Hey, I know! Somebody sent you!"
"No, no one sent me. I was just passing by. Tell me, how
did you happen to die?"
"They made me do it, that's how! Lying around in a
hospital for weeks and weeks . . . I wanted to go home—but
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no, they kept me there with all the tubes and needles stuck in
me. So one night I just yanked them all out. On the night shift
—nobody ever came around to see me on the night shift,
nobody. You know?"
"Then what happened?"
"I started coughing and then I stopped. I thought, well,
I'd better slide the hell out of bed and get going. I must have
jumped a bit because I went right out through the ceiling and
kept on going until I found myself here. When I went through
the ceiling, that's when I knew I'd gone and died. Pretty
smart, hunh?"
"That's right. Maybe you ought to come along with me."
"You would help me? You? Why?"
"It ought to be better than staying here forever."
"I'm so damned mixed up! No heaven . . . no hell.
Nothing!"
"Here, take my hand."
"No you don't! Every time somebody tried to help me, it
just meant trouble! You get out of here!"
"I'm not forcing you. I'm only trying to be helpful."
"You keep your hands off me! You keep away!"
"All right, all right. Whatever you say."
"Go on, get out of here! And you get somebody to tell
you straight! Don't you get taken in with the fancy talk. Nobody
told me . . . and they could have! I would have listened—
but no! Now I've got to find out all by myself and I
sure as hell don't know how to do that! Don't even know
where to start . . ."
I backed away and the strange glow faded. When I r e turned later it
was gone. I have wondered since how he did get
help. Enough was enough sometimes.
Perhaps recounting these events will bring a little better
understanding as to the idea of a bridge or bypass over these
areas—with Caution signs posted along the way. It takes
experience
and finely honed reason to operate in such conditions,
and mine were marginal at best. Any help comes from
the top down, I thought—not from the bottom up.
And I had discovered another facet. Not all of the signals
I received came from an earlier me. William's wife was not a
part of me, nor was the angry little man, as far as I could
determine.
So I came to a conclusion. Helping others goes with the
job. While you're helping yourself, you automatically lend a
hand to others, if you can do so. But I was missing an important
element. Why did this sequence of events suddenly pop
up in my activity pattern? Was this another key to the missing
Basic?
What about my new Different Overview? Something was
definitely left out!
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10
Detached Retinue
It was beginning to seem a never-ending task, this answering
of signals for help each time I went out-of-body, and
it was certainly an inefficient way to do whatever was needed.
I could spend the rest of my available physical life period
doing this and nothing else and still make no perceptible dent
in the mass of such signals.
The question was: why had I suddenly become exposed
to these signals after so many years? And another question:
why were they causing distress in my physical body?
It seemed that most if not all of these signals were
originating in areas off the Interstate (as I was now accustomed
to regard it) immediately adjoining the termination of
physical existence, or death as we humans call it. I knew
something of these areas but was not familiar with them. Further
exploration was needed.
I began the next morning, about three o'clock, by taking
a methodical, slow-motion approach. Feeling rested and relaxed,
I started the phasing out of the physical and into the blackness of the
out-of-body state, with left brain mode on
full alert. I was now at the beginning of the Interstate, or
rather on my entry ramp into it. Then, as I was about to
bridge over the close-in areas with their obvious exit ramps,
as I usually did, one of the strange signals pulled hard at me.
Reluctantly, I followed it.
The signal flashed me to a city, then to an apartment
building, and tightened in to a bedroom in one of the mid-rise
apartments. There was a large and fancy king-size bed with
three naked people in it, two men and a woman. One of the
men was having very active sex with the woman, while the
other was attempting to get in between them, with no success.
Each time he tried, he fell through the bed to the floor beneath.
I knew he was the one who caused the signal, and
wondered why he didn't keep falling right through the floor.
I caught his attention on his next cycle from under the
bed to the top of the copulating couple. He stared at me in
surprise, his glistening erect penis waving up and down as he
shook with excitement.
"Who the hell are you?"
I told him it wouldn't work. He might as well come with
me.
"What do you mean it won't work? I've been waiting ten
years to get this piece of ass, and now I'm going to get it!"
Again I indicated that it was no use. Things were different
with him now.
"You better believe they're different! I'm free now! I
don't know what happened, but I'm free! And as soon as I
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found out, I came here. Now if she would just stop having it
with Sammy, I could get it on with her!"
I asked him what made things different.
"Oh, that! I'd just come up out of the subway at Fiftythird
and Madison and suddenly I felt a pain in my chest. I fell
down. I wasn't down on the sidewalk long, just a minute
maybe, and I got up. Man, did I feel different! What business
is it of yours, anyway?"
I told him as clearly as I could what had really happened.
"I'm dead? The hell you say! Do I act like I'm dead?"
I reminded him about his falling through the bed, unable
to touch either the man or the woman. He looked at his
hands, then down at his replicated body.
"But I'm still me! I still feel like me! I guess I still act like
me!"
He laughed and I joined in. I remarked that we don't
change that much when we die, at least not right away. He
looked at the couple on the bed, who now had relaxed and
were lying back apparently contented, and then at his own
deflated penis.
"Buster here won't like being dead!"
I told him there were compensations and he brightened
up.
"I must have had a heart attack then . . . But I never
had trouble with my heart . . . "
I was about to reply when I noticed the woman in the
bed. Her eyes were open and she was staring straight at me.
She was actually seeing me! Her eyes widened with astonish-
ment but she didn't seem afraid. She looked straight into my
eyes, and there was knowledge in her stare. I turned to the
man standing beside me and told him I had to leave. He was
shocked.
"What do you mean, leave? What about me? What do I
do?"
I suggested he come along if he wished. He laughed
again.
"You can't get rid of me! There's no action here—I
should have known that. Besides, I want to find out about
those compensations."
We laughed some more. I took his hand and started to lift
out, and he followed easily. Just as we went through the ceiling,
I looked back at the girl in the bed. She was still watching,
and our eyes met. I knew I wouldn't have to come after
her. She already knew.
A few moments more we went slightly out-of-phase. I felt
the man tugging at my hand.
"Let go of me! Will you let go!"
I looked below. There was the Pile, the huge mass of exphysical
humans, writhing and struggling in an endless attempt
to have sex with one another. The man's heavy radiation
had diverted our path.
Suddenly he wrenched his hand loose and dived into the
mass.
I should have been alert to the diversion. Well, win a few,
lose a few, I said to myself. I moved away, thinking that I
would get him out of there tomorrow, if I could. But before I
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could return to my body, there was another signal. I turned
and followed.
This one was easy to identify; it came from a hospital
room complete with life support systems and electronic
gauges. There was a small figure, a woman, in the bed with all
the gadgetry attached to her. She was folded up in a near-fetal
position. Her hair was gray and stringy, her face wrinkled.
She looked very old. As I approached I could perceive her
moaning and gasping. Yet the sheet was over her head. I
moved close to her and asked her what the matter was.
"Can't you see I'm hurting?"
I asked her why.
"I'm dying, that's why. I've been dying for years but
nobody would believe me."
I believe you, I told her.
"That's all you doctors say, but you don't mean it."
I told her I wasn't a doctor, and that I did believe her.
"If you're not a doctor it doesn't count. It's the doctor
who has to believe me."
Why is that so important, I asked.
"So that they'll let me die. Then I won't have any more
pain."
I suggested that she didn't need a doctor to believe her.
Did she really want to die? I asked.
"Of course I do! Why else would I be going through all
this pain?"
There was no need to wish for death, I told her. It was all
over. She was dead For the first time she turned her head and
looked at me.
"No, I'm not! I still hurt!"
The pain will be fading away quickly, I said gently. All
she need do was to move away from her body. She stared at
me.
"But . . . I'm still alive! I'm just the same!"
I told her that being physically dead doesn't change you
much at first. You just don't have a physical body anymore—
you're only remembering the pain now, but you don't have
the pain itself. Look around, I said; see for yourself.
She did look around, very slowly. Then she turned back
to me.
"It's all black . . . just deep black . . ."
Except for me, I reminded her. She opened her eyes
wider, and her body slowly began to straighten out.
"Ernie . . . ? Is that you, Ernie?"
I reached for her hand and suggested we go where friends
were waiting. She held back.
"Why didn't you come before? I've been calling for you
night and day to come and get me."
I said that she had to die first. Now that she had died, it
was all right. I held out my hand again and she took it firmly.
"Ernie . . . Ernie!"
We started to move up and out slowly. I asked her about
the pain. She looked puzzled.
"The pain? Oh, the pain. It isn't important now, is it?"
No, it isn't, I said. We went more out-of-phase and out of
blackness into the light. I took it slowly as we moved further
out-of-phase and into the area of the Belief System Territories
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because I wanted to see what was happening. I was trying to
determine exactly where we were—somewhere above the
midpoint—when I could no longer feel her hand in mine. I
refocused as fast as I could but it was too late. She was gone.
Picking up pieces and dropping them along the way was
surely not how it was supposed to be. It was certainly not
productive.
I had better try again. The problem was that I didn't
know precisely what I was looking for, but I was not going to
give up. Several days later I made an afternoon run. I lay
down on the cot, relaxed, and phased out slightly—and, sure
enough, there was another signal. This was a frantic one. I
focused on it and used my quick-switch method.
There was a flash and I was over an alley in a small town.
I looked for the reason—and there it was, just below me. He
was hiding behind a cluster of trash cans in the alley. On the
street nearby a pair of police cars, red and blue lights flashing,
had angled up to the curb. On the sidewalk in front of a store
entrance lay a crumpled form in a pool of blood. A crowd of
morbid spectators was gathering, held back by a yellow band
of plastic.
I went directly to the trash cans. The skinny boy
crouched behind them couldn't have been more than seventeen,
and he would never get any older. Not this time anyway.
I asked him to stand up. He did slowly, uncertain, alert, ready
to run if he got the chance.
"How d'you know I was here, man?"
I told him I wanted to help him.
"I don't need no help, not from no fuckin' cop." I asked him why he was
hiding if he didn't need any help.
"What do you mean, why? That shithead in the store had
a piece and he started shootin'!"
I suggested that he didn't need to worry about that anymore.
He looked at me warily.
"Gonna take me in, are you?"
Not exactly, I said. He didn't have to pull any more
heists, I told him, and nobody was ever going to shoot him
again. He didn't have to worry about going to jail either. He
stared at me.
"You're crazy, man!"
I told him the bullet had caught a corner of his heart
which let him live just long enough to stagger out of the store
and fall dead on the sidewalk. His face portrayed a mixture of
emotions.
"What kind of shit is that? If I'm dead, what the hell am I
doin' standin' here and talkin' to you?"
I pointed to the street behind me and suggested he take a
look for himself. Still keeping one eye on me, he sidled to the
corner of the alley and peered down the street. He forgot me
completely, fixed on what he saw. Eventually he turned and
slumped down to a sitting position and buried his face in his
knees.
I could feel his sobbing. I moved over to him, looked
down, and gently touched his shoulder. It was time to go, I
said. He gazed up at me.
"They still got cops after you're dead?"
I smiled and shook my head. But there were better places
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to be than hanging around in a back alley, I said. He looked at
his hands.
"I remember puttin' out my hands to break the fall when
I hit the concrete. And before that, I remember lettin' go of my
piece when the cashier shot at me from behind the counter. So
I couldn't shoot back. It was like somebody hittin' me with a
tire iron in my chest. Then I got out the door and I remember
hittin' the sidewalk. It was like there was a big click in my
head—and I got up and ran into the alley. But . . . but who
the fuck are you, man?"
I told him his Uncle Ben sent me. He laughed.
"Ben? Ben the boozer? Come on, he didn't even know I
was around! He died when I was a kid! I know! It's all a new
shtick you cops put up to get me to roll over! You come on—
take me in and stop all this shit about bein' dead!"
If he wanted proof, I suggested, we should take a close
look at the body on the sidewalk. He resisted at first, so I told
him to hide behind me and nobody would see him. I turned
and walked out into the street and strode through the crowd. I
knew he was right behind me.
We got there just as the ambulance was arriving. We
stood directly over the body—there was blood all over the
place—and watched as they rolled the body over, checked for
any vital signs, and put it on a gurney. They threw a cloth
over the face, but not before the kid beside me had got a good
look. Anyway, I knew he could still see the face, cloth or no
cloth.
As they rolled the gurney into the ambulance and closed the
door, the kid started sobbing again. I gently took his han
and began to lead him up over the street. Now he didn't resist;
he simply wept uncontrollably as we moved up away from the
street and more out-of-phase. This time as we approached the
middle and upper rings I kept him under constant observation.
Whatever was happening, I reckoned I would be ready
for it.
I wasn't. At a given point, the kid disappeared. One moment
he was there, and then he was gone. Not even a wisp of
radiation remained. Wherever I searched—nothing.
Whatever I was doing, it wasn't coming out as I expected.
I was getting some action, but it was incomplete. I
returned slowly until I was back in phase with the physical,
still looking for answers.
There was just one clue. That night there were fewer
penetrating signals. My sleep periods were less hectic. Was it
cause and effect? Perhaps I was taking the right path—but
even if I was, my left brain was screaming out for more data. I
certainly wasn't cut out for this job. I kept losing them!
Then, several weeks later, another change surfaced. I was
lying down and relaxing easily when I was suddenly hit by a
strong help signal, on what I understood to be my own frequency,
even before I was out-of-body. My physical body
responded with a strong sense of heat. Quickly I rolled out
and followed the signal. Somewhere over the Belief System
Territories the signal led off down an exit ramp that I could
only just perceive.
It did not take me long to find the source. The belief
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system radiation gave me a picture of a steep rocky cliff with a
heavy, humid jungle below. I wondered why it was so clear
and real to me. This was unusually rare; the belief system
activity is generally dim and hazy to me at best.
A small mature female stood at the edge of the cliff.
Behind her were some fifty or sixty assorted males and females
of all ages. They were humanoid, partly dressed in animal
skins, with heavy, Neanderthal-like heads and facial
structures.
Reason immediately wanted to know why I was buying
into this particular belief system. The only answer was the
obvious one: at some time it was part of me. The scene
brought back what I called "the lure of tropical Pacifica" that
I had half-suppressed throughout my life. The call of the
ocean was reflected in my sailboat adventures and scuba diving.
Then there was my going to Hawaii for a weekend and
staying for three weeks; going to Ecuador for three weeks and
staying for three months—and almost taking up a career in
the tropical lowlands. I always felt immense nostalgia in tropical
settings.
As I positioned myself on the ledge beside the female, the
group behind her shrank back and covered their eyes. I turned
to the female, who was staring at me with calm appraisal.
Could we communicate, I wondered. At my thought, she
smiled.
"You came."
"Yes, I did. But why did you call me?"
"I called a picture." "Why did you do that?"
"Are you Megus?" She looked at me carefully. "No, you
are not."
"You called for Megus. Why?"
"Because Megus does not know something is wron
here."
"Where are you? Where is here?"
"I am here. In the Sky Land of Megus."
"Do you know how you got here?"
"Oh, yes. I came out of my mouth with the bubbles when
my body sank to the bottom of the great water."
"Why were you in the great water?"
"It is the rule for a female when she does not make as
child."
"And after that you came here."
"Yes. But there is something wrong."
"Wrong? With you or with the others?"
She shook her head. "With me. When we jump off this
hill into the valley, we must fall onto the rocks below and die,
again and again. That is the rule of Megus."
"Who is Megus?"
"Megus is Sky God. He came to us many suns past and
told us of his Sky Land. This is what he promised . . . but
something is wrong."
"Tell me just what is wrong."
"When I jump off the hill, I don't fall and I don't die. The
others do, but I don't. I just float."
I lifted up slowly until I was just above her head.
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"Like this?"
"Yes! Yes! You are Megus, you are! Help me keep your
rule! Help me fall so I can die and live again!"
I reached out with my hand.
"I am not Megus, but I can help. It can be good to float.
This is a new rule. Come, try it!"
She grasped my hand with both of hers and we lifted
slowly up and out. The structure of the belief systems began
to fade rapidly as we approached the Interstate, and was gone
completely when we went up the entry ramp. I moved us more
out-of-phase when the change was indicated, observing and
reassuring my Neanderthal friend. She was calm, relaxed but
expectant. I was pondering why I seemed to be so compulsive
in my rescue pattern when the expected unexpected happened
again. She dissolved, faded into nothing as I watched.
This time I accepted the phenomenon without question,
but I wondered why I had received her signal among all the
others. Alone, I moved slowly past other exit ramps that were
dimly familiar. I knew that at some point in distant time I had
visited and turned off each of these ramps and was a part of
each of the belief systems they led to. But there seemed no
reason to go through again what I had already experienced
and presumably outgrown.
Although I felt I needed help, I did not consult any of my
philosophic or psychiatric physical friends. Instead, several
weeks later, I did what they would have prescribed. After
three cycles of sleep, some four and a half hours, I awakened
rested, relaxed, and fully alert at three in the morning. To
use the quick-switch technique, roll out-of-phase with the
physical,
and head for one of my pre-INSPEC friends seemed absurdly
easy. A smooth vibration and I would be there.
But it was not as easy as that. Somewhere deep in the
Belief System Territories a strong and demanding signal hit
me. I resisted, but to my great surprise a part of me overrode
my resistance. When I stabilized, I found I was lying on a cot
in the corner of a small room.
I pulled myself up to a sitting position and stood up. I
was in a physical body, it seemed, or a good facsimile of one.
It felt quite normal. On the far side of the room was a closed
door. Beyond it I could hear a strong humming sound. I
opened the door and stepped through.
Close by it was dark; beyond was a brightly lighted area
and the humming came from somewhere beyond that. It was
made by many human voices, not chanting, just humming in
harmony. A hand touched my arm and I turned. A woman
stood by me, beautiful, ageless, very familiar. Her face and
eyes were radiant with joy.
"I've been waiting for you. I knew you would be here if
all of us met together as one. Come."
She led me out of the darkness and into the light. Then
she stepped back. The humming gradually faded away. On
the edge of the range of the light were faces looking up at me,
many hundreds, as far back as I could perceive. They were
expectant. The radiation I know as love was overwhelming.
I stood still, altogether unsure of the situation, of what
was expected of me. Then, as I stood there, another part of me
took control and I relaxed. That other part began to speak.
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"I had no idea there are so many of us. This is one of the
few points where we have gathered as one. As all of us have
discovered, it took a belief system to get us here—and
therefore
we are somewhere on the outer edge of the Belief System
Territories. Thus we have several Knowns. That we are, and
can be, here. That we do not need a physical body to exist and
be. This alone has freed us from the constraints and restrictions
that all of us encountered in our sojourns on Earth. Even
though each of us has a few beliefs left, we can release them at
will.
"Now we are awakening from the dream.
"The important Known is the one that brought us together.
That not only were we more than our physical bodies,
but we can be free of any and all Earth-life-generated beliefs,
without exception. This freedom is the exciting part because
we now have no limits. This Known, without fear, gives us a
full range of choice.
"My role is another Known. It is not that of leader.
Leadership is not necessary in the old sense of the term. Perhaps
my part has been, and still is, as a recruiter. But to me
the role of scout, information gatherer, trailblazer, seems to fit
much better. This has been my pattern . . . for thousands of
Earth years and lifetimes.
"Now it seems we are finally at the point of fruition.
When we meet again, the move into various options will begin.
"The love we share is the greatest Known of all."
The I-There of me—the IT that each of us has, containing
all previous and present lifetimes—reached upward and
I moved off the floor and passed slowly over the sea of
upturned
faces. Somewhere from deep in the multitude an arm
reached up and a hand grasped mine. A man moved up and
joined me. Side by side we rose in a slow spiral, higher and
higher. I looked over to see a big grin as he winked at me. Was
it Agnew? Lew? Rodius? Cheng? It was none of these. It was
my old friend from my early days of OB exploration—the
friend whom I knew as BB!
I should have known; I should have remembered. BB,
who followed me from Home, from the cruise an eternity past
. . . It could have been no other.
The phasing was complete and the eager faces disappeared.
With them went the feel of BB's hand in mine. I
looked and he was gone.
The return to the physical was without incident.
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11
Turning Inward
If an impasse is reached, it seems likely that somewhere
on the way a distortion or misconception has taken place. A
sign along the road was missed or misunderstood, the wrong
turn was taken—there are many possibilities. Perhaps some
small detail was left unnoticed.
This is how it happened. I still had the help signals, the
learn-by-being lessons, but all without satisfactory explanation.
The retrieval of those who had just died and my susceptibility
to their signals—and especially to my own in the
past—insisted on my attention. Was this to be my "new
direction"?
I felt that I had lost control. Some part of me that I
wasn't aware of had taken over, and I certainly didn't understand
it.
I decided that the far reaches of infinity would have to
wait. The prime need was to know myself without equivocation.
The more I came to know myself, the more I
would know what I am in nonphysical expression, and the
closer I would come to the reason for the path I seemed to be
taking.
Experience is definitely the greatest of teachers. Now my
experience came into constructive use again, with my left
brain abilities in the foreground. The route or access to the
nonphysical I, what I now thought of as the I-There, surfaced
almost immediately.
It had started over twenty years ago. Frustrated over my
seeming lack of any ability to explore more than just the timespace
continuum, I had turned inward and asked for help.
From that moment, an entirely new spectrum of being and
doing emerged. I was free.
Through all the succeeding years I went happily on my
way. I had not realized that, in spite of my apparent ego, the
I-There of me had been doing the driving and navigating
since that point. Never once had I taken the trouble to
look under the hood, as normal curiosity should have led me
to do.
Now, in pursuit of the missing Basic, instead of following
the usual steps after phasing into out-of-body I put a hold on
all of the urgent signals and began a probe around me, inward
instead of out. Many such sessions spaced over a year were
involved to get the information into workable form.
This is what I found.
The move out of physical phase and into my I-There was
slow and careful. I formed the impression of an all-powerful,
all-knowing giant who watched bemused as one of his fingers
began an independent, self-willed exploration of the rest of his
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body. I felt no fear because of the Known: I was I-There,
I-There was I. Can one be afraid of oneself?
The Memory Layer
Turning inward and penetrating the I-There of me, I immediately
encountered the expected: a layer—or file, library, or
mainframe—containing every moment of my life to date, with
more pouring in that matched exactly my thoughts and actions
as I conducted the investigation. Other signals were still
coming in from my physical body. This was far more than
memory, as we consciously think of it. This was the reception
point of the uplink from the present I-Here—the I that
functions
in the physical world—now only an operating physical
body without consciousness.
I tested the storage system several times with great fascination.
Upon selection of a given point in the past, I relived
the event in every detail, down to each minute sensory input,
thought, and emotion. I soon realized such supermemory was
not altogether pleasurable. With such intense hindsight, one
becomes all too painfully and sadly aware of the many irrational
decisions made, the stupid mistakes, the missed opportunities.
The exciting incidents were no longer exciting because
I knew the outcome. The joyous moments often seemed
infantile, and the infantile sad and amusing.
As an example, I had a very young memory of hiding
under a big bush just outside my grandmother's front porch.
Afterward, I could never understand why I had been hiding
there. I wasn't afraid, but something kept me there. Now I
knew. I had feces in my pants, and I didn't want Mommie to
find out. A big moment for a four-year-old!
More relevant and revealing items were easy to find,
among them incidents that in their ways were early precursors
easily overlooked. One such occurred in 1934, when I flunked
out of Ohio State University in my sophomore year with a less
than 2.5 grade average. This was partly due to a severe facial
burn which meant spending some time in the hospital. After I
recovered, feeling restless, I hit the road looking for work. I
began hitchhiking, but after about a week I discovered that
people wouldn't pick up a dirty-looking kid so I became a
hobo riding freight trains from place to place.
In St. Louis during mid-December the cook in a small
hash joint saw me staring through the steamy window at the
food frying on the grill. He waved me in and fed me without
charge. As I hadn't eaten for two days, it seemed a miracle.
Then, later that night, in a Salvation Army-type flophouse, an
old man died quietly on the cot next to mine. I had never been
that close to someone dying. I felt no fear, but curiosity.
After nearly a year, I returned to Ohio State in Columbus,
pleaded and was granted conditional reinstatement. During
my junior year, Strollers, the campus dramatic society,
offered a prize for the best original one-act play. The one I
wrote received second prize. The first three were produced
and presented to a campus audience. Perhaps the peak moment
in my college career came as I stood offstage in the
wings as some five hundred people sat in a you-could-have-
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heard-a-pin-drop state during the climax of my one-act
drama. The reviewers said it should have placed first!
The play was based on exactly what happened in the
flophouse, except for the addition of the climactic moment.
What was it? In dying, the old man passed to the boy a Special
Purpose, a Goal, a Plan far beyond ordinary human thought.
The boy was transformed into something or someone else.
This came from an eighteen-year-old who had never
taken a course in philosophy, and was not religious—as were
none of his friends at the time. So where did he get the idea,
and why? This incident had evidently been long hidden as not
important. It took place at least twenty years before there was
any such occurrence as an OBE in my life.
Likewise relegated into the same category of nonimportance
was another long-hidden memory that perhaps I
had earlier regarded as some sort of hallucination. The location
of this was an old farmhouse we owned in Dutchess
County, New York, during the late forties. The well had run
dry. It was not the new type of drilled well, but one that had
been hand-dug a hundred years ago or more. It was about
three feet wide, seventy feet deep, and lined with rounded
fieldstones wedged together without mortar.
Listening, one could hear water running far below, but
the pump couldn't bring it up through the pipe. Usually one
doesn't hear running water in a well. My curiosity was
caught, so I got a rope out of the barn, tied it to a nearby tree,
and skittered down inside the well like a mountain climber
rappelling down a cliff When I reached the bottom, I
immediately found the
problem. The water table had lowered and the end of the pipe
was above the new water level. The interesting part was that
there at the bottom was not still water but a running underground
stream. If a few rocks were put in the right place the
water level would rise again.
Then I looked up and panic set in. Far, far above me was
a tiny circle of light. Between me and that point of safety were
seventy feet of loose rock, any chunk of which I might have
disturbed in climbing down. At any moment that chunk could
drop away and trigger the entire wall to collapse on top of me.
There was evidence of the possibility on the rocky bottom on
which I stood. Several large, basketball-size rocks lay there,
having fallen from the wall sometime previous.
A feeling of intense claustrophobia came over me, with
some justification. If I could not get out quickly, I might well
be buried in a seventy-foot grave—and no one would know.
With an effort, I sought to control my panic. I knew I would
have to be ultracareful in climbing up to avoid dislodging any
of the rock wall. I sat down on a large fallen rock to think
about it. Reaching down with my cupped hand, I took some
mouthfuls of the running water. It was cool and fresh.
As I sat at the bottom of the well, listening to the gentle
tumbling of the water, my eyes adapting to the dim light, I
began to relax. There was something very calm and serene
and comfortable about being where I was. I even looked up at
the circle of light far above me and the sense of peace was not
disturbed. I felt no more panic. I closed my eyes and leaned
comfortably back against the rocky wall of the well. There
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was no need to hurry now. I relaxed even more, and for a
moment I thought I was asleep, but I could hear the water and
feel the stone against my back. My physical awareness was
still complete.
Then the pattern changed. Slowly, the feeling of a warm
intelligence seemed to surround me, flowing very gently into
my body. It seemed to blend into every part of me, body and
mind. I became a part of that intelligence, or the intelligence
became a part of me. There didn't seem to be any difference.
And there was a message. I could translate it into words
only crudely.
My son of sons of sons, you have found joy in my winds and
sky. We have shared the excitement and peace both on my
waters and deep within them. You have reveled in the beauty
and ingenuity of my other children spread across my surface.
Yet it is only now that you have taken a moment in my
bosom to be still and listen. In that stillness, hold this song
forevermore. You were born of me, yet it is your destiny to
become more than I can ever be. In this growth, I revel with
you. My strength is your strength; thus you take with you the
glory of me to express in ways that I will not understand.
Not understanding, I nonetheless support and share happily
that which you become. Go with this truth within you, my
son of sons of sons.
That was it. The warmth continued for a while, then
slowly faded.
I stood up, took the dangling rope, and climbed effort-
lessly to the top of the well, scrambling out into the sunlight,
was astounded when I discovered I had been in the well fo
over two hours.
Now I remember that special Basic. Mother Earth, I love
you! How could I have forgotten?
Further investigation into the memory layer revealed a
near-identical dream that had recurred monthly at least for a
number of years. I was at that time an active airplane and
glider pilot, and in this dream I would find myself turning my
aircraft onto the end of the runway, applying power, and
beginning the takeoff run. As soon as I was airborne, the
runway turned into a street with buildings lining it on both
sides. Crossing from one side to the other overhead was a
network of cables and wires, much like those still found in
older downtown business areas. Try as I might, I couldn't find
a hole or gap in the network through which the aircraft could
fly. After a period of anxiety and frustration, I would wake
up. This dream did not recur once my OBEs began.
Some psychologists with whom I discussed this dream
suggested that the downtown street setting was a symbol of
my commitment to the business world. Others speculated that
the network of restrictive wires represented my cultural belief
systems. All agreed that it was a well-assembled logical metaphor
tailored neatly to meet what I was at the time.
Searching again, I found a clue as to what might have
been the evoking mechanism or trigger for what happened
afterward. My company, seeking a new area for diversification,
was investigating whether sound might be used for learn-
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ing during sleep. As professionals in sound, having produced
several hundred network radio programs, we tried a number
of different audio patterns with various subjects to study the
effect of these patterns upon sleep. Beginning in 1956, I had
been the chief subject in this testing and underwent at least a
hundred sessions lying in a darkened booth and listening
through headphones. But my two children, and many others,
had also spent many such sessions, yet with no comparable
effect. Was this my OBE trigger?
Thus I passed through the memory layer, knowing that
total recall would be available if and when needed. All the
same, reliving the past without the rose-colored glasses of
nostalgia is not my idea of a fun afternoon!
The Fear Layer
Moving inward to the next section of my I-There, I found an
area I had definitely not expected. I discovered that I was
indeed far from fearless. I may not have been consciously
aware of these fears, but there they were, large, ugly blasts of
raw energy, embarrassing to me, and to no one else, in their
intensity. There were old fears and a constant inflow of new
ones. They ranged from little items, such as anxiety over the
effect of a rainy day on our construction project, to big worries
about the world changes developing. Even the fear of
physical death was there; not of the process and what lay
beyond, but of what might be left undone here in time-space. I
realized action would have to be taken to clear up this mess.
The I-There of me already had a better system at work;
The tests I had been undergoing during the past five years,
where I nonphysically experienced an intense event that engendered
a familiar fear time and time again until the fear
dissipated, were still in place and operating. Moreover, the
battle was almost won. Many more fears were being dissolved
than the number of new ones which were being generated by
my current activity.
With this awareness came a major revelation: I-There
had instituted this process and kept the fear-dissolving operation
flowing as needed. No outside source was providing any
assistance, as I had wrongly assumed. I was helping myself!
Thus the finger became a hand. I preferred the feel of the
hand.
How this was taking place aroused my curiosity. Recognizing
that I-There provided me (I-Here) with more than a
casual connection, I began to search in my present mind-self
for other evidence of ongoing participation by my I-There. It
was very easy to move deeper, but initially the effect was
neardisastrous.
I learned what I am! And much adjustment was
required to become used to the reality of "what I am."
The Emotional Layer
This was the next inward cloud of energy that I met. I knew
all of these emotions, not those that had been repressed, but
those past and present that I had lived and treasured, both
joyous and sad, and the irrational angers that were now so
amusing to me. As with the fears, there was a constant incom-
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ing pattern, mimicking what I felt at each moment. The interesting
part was that this layer seemed so neatly organized.
The Broken Barrier
This was much like a ragged hole in a gray wall. As I attempted
to go through this enticing gap, there was a slight
resistance and then I was through. As I penetrated the gap, the
texture of the original restraining energy of the wall was absolutely
clear to me.
I also understood what had happened in my own pattern,
what had made that hole. The answer was simple erosion
through repeated experience. The amusing part was that in
my eagerness I had never paused to notice the very real existence
of the barrier.
What was the barrier made of? Earth Life System addiction
and the multitude of belief systems generated therein.
Evidently I had once slipped through a crack, either by accident
or otherwise, and kept widening the opening by usage—
probably through gathering information and increasing
experience—
until that part of the barrier crumbled.
The Repertory
So . . . What am I? Beyond the barrier there were hundreds
and hundreds of what appeared to be waving beams of multicolored
light. Uncertainly, I reached out and touched the
nearest one. A rich male voice rang in my mind. Well, well!
Curiosity pays off again, Robert!
I pulled back quickly, but the chuckling stayed with me.
Immediately another brightly glowing beam, mauve in color,
came close. This voice was female!
Of course! You're not all male, Bobby!
That was only the beginning. The process was repeated
again and again. Each time it became easier. Now I realized
that every beam of "light" was one of me, one of my I-There
personalities complete with a different life experience. Lodged
within my I-There was a corresponding life pattern of each
personality in great detail. This, I realize, is an inadequate
description, because each is a conscious, sentient being with
an individual awareness, mind, and memory. Communication
was easy because I was holding forth with myself! However,
there was so much that I could only skim the surface. The
emotional elements were too strong to go deeper.
When I phased over into the I-There of me, finding each
one required merely the thought of that pattern in my present
life activity. Some of them were familiar, as I knew of them as
driving forces in my present life experience. Here are the most
salient:
The Architect/Builder
This was in the era of cathedral and castle building during
the twelfth century in England and the continent of Eu-
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rope. I was dismissed in disgrace when I objected to the appalling
cost in lives of worker-friends when huge stones fell
from crude scaffolds and crushed those on the ground beneath.
I refused to comply with the irrational whims of those
in power. I emigrated to France, where the same sequence
took place but with a different ending. Someone in angry
authority had me beheaded.
This part of me was reflected early in life, before I was
ten, in the building of wooden shacks two and three stories
high. Later came the design and construction of theatrical
stage sets, and then the design, engineering, and construction
supervision of various buildings in Westchester County, New
York, and then in Virginia, which gave me such deep satisfaction.
This also explained the deep sadness, amounting to physical
illness, during a recent trip to England and France when
we visited various cathedrals and other ancient buildings. The
effect was so marked that we cut short our stay in both London
and Paris. In my I-There the details were completely
available, but the emotion was much too great for me to go
very deep.
I tried to learn what my name was at that point, but
received only an amused, repeated response.
"You were you! You!"
For a time I could make no sense of this, but an interesting
verification came in 1990. During a summer vacation in
Europe, my younger brother Emmett and his wife went to
Scotland to visit what is known as the Munro Fields just north
of Inverness. They took photographs of Foulis Castle there,
returning home without comment to me about the trip as they
didn't think I would be interested.
In November, Emmett received a notice from our Institute
regarding activities for the coming year. In it was a photograph
of the tower in the new East Wing of the Center.
Astonished at what he saw, he made copies of his Munro
Fields pictures and sent them to us. In his Scotland pictures,
the distinctive feature of Foulis Castle is a tower that matches
ours beyond coincidence. Both have four stories, are octagonal
and embedded into the side of the main building, have the
same general dimensions, the same roof pitch, and both even
have similar iron fencing at the top, tied into the building
roof, although this is not visible in these photographs.
I didn't know of the existence of Foulis Castle and its
tower, nor had I ever been to Scotland. My brother had never
seen or known of the Institute tower because it had been built
since his last visit to Virginia.
Who built the Foulis Tower? According to Munro clan
history, Donald Munro and his son Robert, in the mid-twelfth
century.
So there was some hard data. I was I after all!
The Rebellious Priest
This I-Then was an initiate, at some indeterminate time,
about to participate in a secret confirmation ritual in the deep
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Reincarnated Tower
Note that both towers are octagonal, with similar
roof pitch, both are halfway in the wall of
the building, both have similar dimensions, and
are four stories high with access to the roof and
wrought iron fencing at that point.
Foulis Castle Tower
Munro Fields
Near Inverness, Scotland
Constructed 1151 A.D.
by Robert Munro & father
The Monroe Institute
Central Tower
Nelson County, Va., U.S.A.
Constructed 1989 A.D.
by Robert Monroe & friends recesses of an old stone
temple or church. He—or rather I—
had eagerly looked forward to this moment without knowing
the procedure as it meant wide acceptance and advancement
within the culture.
The ritual began with the priests forming a circle around
a flat stone altar, chanting in droning tones. A frightened
young girl was brought in, stripped of her clothing, and tied
spread-eagled on top of the altar. Although shocked, I-Then
could not help becoming sexually aroused.
The high priest motioned I-Then to move in and possess
the girl. I stepped dutifully forward, stood beside the girl, and
staring down at her fear-stricken face was caught by something
in the depth of her eyes. After a long moment, I turned
away, looked at the high priest, and shook my head in refusal.
Immediately there was a bright flash of white light and the life
of this I-Then ended.
In my present lifetime, this fits neatly into my repugnance
for any man who forcibly performs the sexual act with any
but a totally willing female. I had always presumed from previous
intimations that this particular I-Then was executed for
refusing to follow orders. But the I-There inventory had a
different approach. The "temptation" was a test. If I-Then
had tried to rape the girl, he would have been stopped and
thrown out of the priesthood. But in refusing he passed the
test and was welcomed into the elect. The bright light was a
symbol of his conversion into a new life.
Who was the girl? My wife, Nancy. Prior to this disclosure,
she had remembered a past where, as members of a
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religious sect, she had been a nun and I a priest where all we
had was intense eye contact.
Aircraft Pilot
The time, location, and species are unknown. This
I-Then was a member of a very close-knit family or tribe numbering
several thousand whose base of operations or home
was in the side of a huge cliff. There was a landing/takeoff pad
just inside a large cavelike entrance, and small one-person
aircraft were the only means of transportation. The aircraft
had short wings and were powered by means not translatable.
The pilot lay in a prone position, with head slightly raised,
forehead resting on a swiveling pad. Control was effected
through a learned mental process.
I-Then was totally and willingly dedicated to the purpose
of the group and spent most of his—my—life flying
such aircraft
on reconnaissance or observation sweeps over a rugged
landscape. There was a deep sense of friendship and love in
the memory of that home in the cliff. There were also moments
of much amusement when on these missions rocks and
spears from "natives" below struck the underside of the aircraft
with the shock resonating up into the I-Then body. The
aircraft was near-indestructible.
Years ago, when I was a teenager in this present lifetime,
I attempted to build such a prone-position aircraft. During
World War II, I tried without success to sell a prone-pilot
fighter design to the aircraft industry as an answer to
G-load- ing and other performance problems. This was before I
had
the slightest interest in or awareness of the extent of what I
now know I am, and I gave no thought then as to the source
of the idea.
The Vibrationist
I had assumed this facet of me to have sprung from the
energy system that was my origin, which I had loosely labeled
KT-95. My most recent visit there—to Home—neither
confirmed
nor denied that assumption. What we construe as music
was indeed in full force throughout the system, although
not in the creative forms that we understand.
The I-There inventory unveiled a personality about
which I had perceived only vague shadows. Both time and
location were indeterminate, and the species was probably
nonhuman. This I-Then is a major but evidently frustrated
part of me which is constantly attempting to replicate what
was commonplace during that particular life activity. I have
usually tried to express this in music. The present culturecivilization
lacks the knowledge and the tools to do so in
another form.
In that life, full and complete working application of vibration
in any form is as natural as breathing is to us. It is a
part of their DNA package. They have and use the ability to
manipulate matter to suit whatever need through mental vibrational
energy. The "music" they create is the utilization of
nonphysical energy, but not the electromagnetic field. Not
only does it induce moods and emotions of every sort, but it
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instills or inhibits a variety of sensory patterns somewhat resembling
our physical input, yet not nearly so limited.
Most of this I-Then is beyond my I-Here comprehension.
I now simply recognize the presence of such a personality and
let this self do and express what is possible and feasible. My
major curiosity is how the I-There of me ever got involved in
such an unusual lifestyle. The inventory does not reveal this—
or at least I could not find the answer.
The Seafarer
This vivid memory was that of a first mate on sailing
ships in the era of square-riggers. Only the more unusual
events are clear to I-Here. One in particular was passage
through a narrow strait, possibly Magellan, close-hauled during
a very severe storm. We spent many hours stationary relative
to the shore, battling currents and wind. I had taken the
wheel because we had drifted to within fifty feet of a boulderlittered
shore.
Inch by inch we finally made it through the strait, losing
three crewmen in the process. Although we had several lines
paid out astern, none reached them. To slack off in trying to
save them would have meant disaster for the entire ship. One
of those lost was my best friend.
In this present life, though I was born and raised in the
Midwest, the coast and ocean drew me like a magnet. In New
York, one of the first items I bought when money came in was
a small sailboat. Within an hour I was proficient in sailing it
without instruction. Many adventures followed, including a
single-handed all-night run twelve miles offshore during a
storm. I was never afraid at sea and eventually ended up with
a forty-two-foot ketch. I always loved sailing and I often still
long for the ocean.
The Newcomer
This was only a flickering ray of light. When I reached
out to touch it, the image of the teenage warrior from earliest
times came into being, the one I had retrieved. I was not
surprised but wondered if he had merged with me on the
return trip. I was embarrassed at the wave of adoration emanating
from him and cooled it down with a grin and a handshake.
The Original I
This one I had become familiar with through my final
visit to KT-95 and was definitely not a physical being as we
understand the label. My understanding still is that I became
curious about human existence while a "tourist" visiting
other realities, including time-space. After one dip in the Earth
Life System waters, I became addicted. The repetition of life in
KT-95 had become boring. But how that original I came into
being was not known either to him or to me. We never gave it
much thought.
But now I see the light behind it and the thought of that
part of my I-There brings pounding thunder. For one who had
never been particularly interested in "previous lives"? In-
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stantly this thought triggered noisy laughter. From where?
From whom? It was all around me, and in me. There was no
form I could perceive, but there was radiance, in me and of
me. Then within me I heard a voice.
All right, young friend. Now you know. Take this ROTE with
you and come back when you have unraveled it.
The shock of the voice and the laughter brought me fully
phased back into Earth Life System time-space and my physical
body. Wonders had been done for my Different Overview. 12
Inside the Inside
I did not find it easy to adjust to finding myself confronted
by a part of me I didn't know existed. However, communication
was absurdly simple. This was not surprising, as
when you talk to yourself there is no barrier of any kind!
"Talk" is not the right word; communication was far speedier
than the spoken word would allow and to call the exchange
"conversation" is extreme understatement.
What follows is a compendium or abstract of many sessions
with the I-There of me, beginning with the second meeting.
All I had to do was phase in gently, pass through the
broken barrier, and I was inside, in the dome of light beams,
in the heart of my I-There.
We wouldn't use the term "heart." It is too physical.
In the center then.
We are what is meant by "the total is greater than the sum of
the parts."
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Then you are the total of what I have been, whatever or however
that was.
The focal point, the tip of the pyramid of you and more,
including you as you are now.
It must be rather a mess!
Not at all. We are highly organized. You know the memory
layer when you moved in?
I do.
It's neatly set up in serial form, and also by category. So are
all the other existence patterns we've been through. You can
look up what you want immediately.
That's good.
Consider all that fear stuff that bothers you. That's easily
taken care of. We convert it faster than you bring it in. You
should recall what you were like some thirty-five years ago.
Or look at some of the people around you. Talk about mess!
I can imagine!
Can you? It's easy to forget when it's not in front of you.
I passed through a mass of emotion coming in. I must be
repressing a lot of stuff I wasn't aware of. I suppose
I—we—
have a system to manage that also.
We certainly have. There is less than there used to be but the
quality has improved tremendously. Anyway, these days you
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usually let emotion control your actions only when you want
it to. You're doing well.
Tell me, is there some name, some identification I can use for
you? I gather you have more than one.
We have whatever is needed at a given point. We're the brain
trust, the think tank, the older brothers, whatever. Why don't
you use one of those acronyms you're so fond of? How about
Board of Advisors—BOA? Or an abbreviation of Executive
Committee—that's close to what we are.
I'll settle for that—EXCOM!
Fine! Look, now that you've taken the trouble to come in and
clean up your act, as you might say, we can really begin to
move.
Come in and clean up my act? What do you mean?
You finally worked your way in here after all those years.
There were so many times when we helped you along and you
never looked back—we were sure you would come and investigate.
But you didn't. So we had to use more direct methods,
like the physical body pain echoes and the pulls you called
help signals.
Did you generate those?
Ordinarily they are items we take care of when you are busy
being you—being awake and human. We decided that if you
had to take care of a few of them yourself, you might become
curious. And you did.
165
Let me get this straight. You've been helping me all my life?
Certainly we have. Sometimes you appreciated it, sometimes
you didn't.
How far back does this go?
Before you were born.
You had better tell me. I don't remember.
You wouldn't. You didn't exist. We made the decision to become
human again. We selected the time and place and organized
the DNA mix—elements from the physical and elements
from us. We took those parts of us that seemed most appropriate,
rolled them up into one, and sent them in. There you—
and we—were!
What exactly did you send in?
Personalities, memories. What else?
Yes . . . I've tracked some of them down. Does this happen
with everyone—with all humans?
As far as we know. Some don't have as much experience as we
do, or as much to choose from.
Are there any with no experience at all? Any who come in
. . . pure?
A lot have no previous human experience, though they have
plenty of some other type—both physical and nonphysical.
Some work up from being animals.
166
Do any come in and go out with just one human lifetime?
We have heard so, but we haven't met one. Or we couldn't
identify any.
Why are there all these repeats and recycles—these multiple
lifetimes?
Up to now human lives have been and are used in such a
random way that it's not possible to get wide enough experience
in any one life. So we keep on returning until we have
what we need. Does that make sense?
There ought to be a better way. It doesn't seem organized or
efficient.
You ought to know.
What do you mean, I ought to know?
Remember your guided visit far into the future? As we saw it,
the whole thing there was certainly organized and efficient.
You go in, select the experience you want—and off you go!
That's a long time to have to wait.
You're free of time, remember? Only one more return after
this, into that life you visited up ahead, and then we're free.
So my Executive Committee has it all mapped out . . .
We certainly have.
A committee is made up of parts. Which part are you? J was a
court jester in France, in the ninth century. I was a
good talker. That's why I was chosen to meet with you. It
would keep down any tension that might arise in you.
I don't have any tension . . . well, not much. Now, let's get
back to what we were discussing. Did you help me in childhood?
We were in close touch in the first few years. This happens
with most little ones. The influence is quite strong until parents
and others bring about a gradual shutdown. Children
learn not to talk about something that's unacceptable. Later
the physical contact fades away rapidly.
Was there anything more?
Not much. Most of the time we just watched you. We did
keep you from drowning a couple of times. And there was a
time when you were very ill. You even turned up here and we
bad to escort you back.
That must have been when I had scarlet fever. But what about
later on? And other things—the two dollars under the board,
when I was a teenager—did you do that?
That was one of Talo's tricks.
Who's Talo?
One of us—one of you—who lived in another energy
system.
Was there anything else?
168
There was the time when you were seventeen, driving at night
on the back road along the river. You were going too fast over
the top of the hill—and there was an old truck in the road.
You never knew how you got round it without killing yourself,
did you?
I remember! I remember wondering what happened. So you
did that?
Not me. But one of us did.
I think I'm beginning to understand. You are sort of my
guardian angels—or that's what some people would call you.
Oh no. We aren't your anything. We and you are the same.
You've been helping yourself all the time. We are just the part
that helps you remember. You and Talo both put the two
dollars under the board. You and Cass both, that time in
Hawaii, made the surfboard drift onto the right heading so
that the fishing boat would pick you up. You and we have
continually been going back and fixing things up. Do you
want more examples?
I'll be damned!
No you won't. We won't let you. This life experience you're
putting together—it's far too valuable.
Why? What do you mean?
It leads to freedom. And it's your ride—you're in charge.
We're not much more than a cabin of screaming passengers
hoping we'll find it and shouting advice.
170
Find what?
The way out. Escape velocity. Not just eternity, but infinity.
I . . . I think I see. What am I supposed to do?
You are the best chance we have ever had. We shall support
and help you all the way. We can't do everything, but there's a
great deal we can do. Encouraging you to think what you call
"out-of-body" finally worked.
Did you do that?
You remember those dreams beforehand? How you were trying
to fly an airplane off the ground but there were always
wires overhead?
I do—very clearly.
Those were practice sessions we had when you came here
during sleep.
Yes . . . it's beginning to come back . . .
You were so frightened you didn't notice our pulling on you—
not then.
And the rest of the help along the way . . . I had the impression
recently that I actually did some of that . . . not you.
You can interpret it like that. You did have a little help. Remember,
we're not confined to time—nor are you as you are
now. We can go back ten years or a thousand years—it's all
the same. We are generally up-to-date in giving help.
171
Then . . . I'm no more than a surrogate of you . . .
When you began this lifetime, yes, you were. As you grew in
experience, you became a brand-new personality. The mix
you started with has been gradually melding into a whole.
This is something I shall have to get used to. "I" helping
"me"! I used to think the help was all external . . . Tell me,
is there anything you—we—can't do?
We shall let Asha deal with that. He's a good technician. He
will communicate with you now.
Asha . . . ?
There was a slight change in the frequency.
I am Asha. Can I help you?
I . . . I was asking about the limits . . . what we can and
cannot do . . .
/ do not know what we cannot do, but I am aware of what we
may achieve.
Well . . . I have often wondered why I can't seem to perform
certain actions that apparently others can.
What actions are they?
Seeing radiation from people, reading minds, having what we
call psychic ability. All I can do is phase out-of-body.
Do you wish to perform these other acts?
172
Now that you ask . .
. no, not necessarily.
We did not believe those were needed. But if you do want one
of us to use your body and talk while you go somewhere else, just relax and go to sleep.
No, I don't want to be a channel. That's not a route to freedom, as I see it. But . . . I wish I knew the answer to what I
should be doing now.
We cannot give you that answer. We can give you the support
you need, and the information. But you yourself know what
to do. All of us are behind you. You don't know your own
strength. Go find out—that's what you should do. If you
succeed, and we are sure you will, we shall be free.
This drive I have . . . to help humankind. Where does this fit
in?
We can tell you something about that, though you may not
like it.
I need to know.
Service to humankind might be classified as self-serving, but in
your case, because the effect spreads so widely, this does not
apply. The more we improve humankind, the more our prospects
improve. One major improvement is equal to one hundred
minor ones.
You mean one tall mountain is equal to a low range of hills.
173
Except that the mountain reaches higher.
So this service—this improvement—is worth doing?
Most definitely.
What of the bonding we identify as love? Where does this
energy fit in?
My friend, we have so much of this bonding built up to take
us to infinity and through it. We take it with us as we go. It is
the major energy base for our intellect. What you now perceive
as love clarifies, not stultifies. It incorporates both pain
and pleasure; it is the union of opposites to create a whole.
And you found plenty of love this lifetime, once you dispensed
with your illusions.
There must be a tremendous amount of experience stored
here, in you . . . in us. How many lifetimes are there?
A thousand perhaps, or more. We stopped counting long ago. Every possible situation is here, every emotion. There is nothing
you can encounter in an Earth life that isn't stored here
. . . in fifty different ways.
Then what am I doing, going through it all over again?
To find one final piece. And you are very close. When you
have it, we lift off. We shall be gone.
Gone where? How?
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We don't know. You will have to tell us.
I see . . . But—are you certain you have the right one? I
have
an idea that there's another one being human here at this time
—another one out of this I-There of ours.
That is so. That is your reserve or substitute, you might say. A backup. But you are first in line.
This other . . . is it—she—female?
She is.
Should I arrange to meet her?
Later perhaps. She would seem like a long-lost sister.
So . . . Now, let me be sure I have understood this retrieving
business correctly.
It is nothing unusual. Many of us are working with it most of
the time.
Why don't they just come back here of their own accord?
Would you have done so fifty years ago?
I don't know . . . probably not.
What happens is that some become so locked up in a belief
system that they never come back here, not even during sleep.
We lose about nine out of every ten that way. They forget
about us here completely. We keep helping anyway, hoping
175
they will eventually remember—and sometimes they do. We
are there to catch them when they fall through the cracks.
That's not a good success record! But not all of those I picked
up were part of us, were they? I hope not.
Only one or two. The others you retrieved—they disappeared
when their belief systems took over, didn't they?
So that's what happened!
Their belief system is all they have to hold on to. So they go
where they think there is some kind of security. But they never
forget our attempts to help them, even though it doesn't fit
with what they expect. In time a doubt arises, perhaps ten
lifetimes later, and a representative from their own I-There
retrieves them and brings them back where they belong.
Have I ever been lost in the belief systems?
Yes, you have.
Why did I finally respond to your help?
It was a combination of things: more curiosity, less fear, no
heavy indoctrination.
I don't like asking this, but there is something more I need to
know. How many lifetimes have I—I mean, we—been
locked
in belief systems?
Who can say? A large number, certainly.
176
What a waste! And how many
times have I—this I—strayed
or disappeared on the way here?
Enough. It was not a waste, not at all. We gained much learning
from what happened. We learned so much from those
other lives that this time we believe it can be made to work.
Made to work? What can be made to work?
The building of what you call escape velocity. So that we—all
of us—may be free.
Yes . . . I see. Can I reach you again as the need arises?
From this point on, we are as close to you as your own skin.
Now, my friend, you must do what you have to do. And
above all, do it in love.
It is impossible to describe the sum of the love energy
distilled from more than a thousand lifetimes, which, as I have
learned, each I-There of each human has in store. Moreover,
the discovery and working knowledge of the existence of my
"Executive Committee" within the I-There of me, as well as
the structure of my I-There, radically altered my own Different
Overview. This discovery filled in many holes in my
Known file that had existed for so many years.
So I am novy sure that every human has his or her own
individual I-There, complete with a particular self-grown Executive
Committee. With your new Different Overview in
place and operating, finding your own should not be nearly so
difficult now that—perhaps—you can accept that it
may exist.
177
You need to look for your own answers and, when you have
found them, put them in your personal Known file. Maybe
you will be able to understand why our personalities are so
complex.
More than this physical body? How much more!
13, Fine Tuning
179
There is a great advantage in knowing your vehicle well,
especially if you plan to travel where there may be few service
areas. My newfound knowledge of my I-There vehicle raised
my confidence factor several levels. The extraordinary thing
was that I had traveled so far without taking the trouble to
find out what made it run. For some undiscoverable reason,
my left brain curiosity had for once let me down.
This knowledge created a profound change in my Overview.
There were so many potentials that I'd been unaware of,
and so many responsibilities and limitations, that it made me
uncomfortable to dwell on them. The greatest of these responsibilities
was that this I among the many that composed my
I-There was expected to deliver an important answer or solution.
Although I'd been told that I knew the question and was
on the track of the answer, the concept still made no sense to
me.
The knowledge also caused many changes. I no longer
was concerned with my sleep activities, whether I remembered
180
them or not. Now when I relaxed and drifted out-of-phase
into sleep, my EXCOM took over and we worked together.
Many of our tasks involved helping through, or retrieving,
after the physical death process. In most of these instances, we
became what we were perceived to be: father, mother, departed
friend, even some "heavenly being." Those who were
not part of our I-There cluster slipped away and disappeared
into the Belief System Territories. In these cases we were assisting
as a kind of courtesy those who for whatever reason
were not met by a representative of their own I-There, or who
had missed the entry points to their particular belief system. I
soon became accustomed to their disappearance when I had
them in tow. Like the sex addict, each phased out when we
encountered the radiation of a belief system with which they
resonated.
The major task of my I-There was to pick up previous
life personalities who had been overwhelmed by Earth Life
System addictions or various belief systems so that the essence
of the personality was unreachable. When the individual Human
Mind finally broke the grip of the belief, or found a crack
in the system, one of our I-There members went on a retrieval
mission. Time was not a factor in this, except that all such
"rescues" took place in what we would label the past.
The helping mode is another constant within the individual
I-There member. This involves the insertion of ideas,
thoughts, even physical stimuli, into the physical life of others
resident in the Earth Life System. I became aware how much
help each of us receives that we do not perceive or that we
simply accept without question. Again, such help is not lim-
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ited by our concept of time. It is never forced on anyone, but
is provided as a response to a cry for help, a signal which
might be translated into a prayer in various belief systems.
I began to participate with my I-Here consciousness in
the above tasks. The learning simulations continued also,
often at my request in order to understand a given condition.
Whether I actually remembered these processes that took
place during "sleep" was irrelevant and it mattered not how
long the process took.
It took some effort to accustom myself to the idea that
my I-There was not a sports car but rather a bus or spaceship,
filled with a small universe all of its own. I came to see myself
as no more than a shuttle craft or a scout probe operator for
the mother ship or orbiter.
In waking hours, contact with my I-There is immediate. I
need only think of my EXCOM and indicate the performance
desired. Instantly, memory echoes of similar events or situations
from previous existences flash through my awareness.
Some are very profound, others are stupid enough to illustrate
perfectly the infallibility of hindsight. If I need the response to
be clear-cut, moving slightly out-of-phase is all I need to do. I
still wonder how many humans are hospitalized and drugged
because they "hear voices." From I-There?
It seemed to me that I had reached a very significant stage
in my progress. With this knowledge of the existence of my
I-There—and of the I-There of every physical human
mindconsciousness—
and with the immediate availability of my
EXCOM, a new perspective was added to what previously
was considered ordinary and accepted. But if something
as important as the I-There structure had hitherto
been ignored,
what other item of major significance might have slipped
through?
Deciding to consult with my I-There, I lay back and
phased over.
Is it right that there are no influences in my life other than you
in my I-There?
We have not said that.
What are they, then?
One of the greatest influences is the interaction with other
units.
You mean humans? Structured much as we are?
Correct.
So they do influence us, even in the nonphysical cycle.
You know this. There is also the total of all the human
thought processes that ever were, ours included. You call it
the H Band Noise. That can smother you if you let it.
I realize that and I have shielded myself from it. But there's
something else. I still respond with a host of emotions of all
kinds. I can't help myself. What is it?
Earth life consciousness in its various forms. For instance, you
are experiencing a love relationship. Another: all we have to
do is think of little kittens or trees and you respond.
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I can't argue with that. What more?
Even the Earth itself. There are so many influences. And there
are also the nonhuman intelligences. We have tried to steer
you aivay from them, as much as we can.
Why?
Some early encounters with some of us did not work out well.
They do not regard humans in the way we thought they
might. They have a sense of superiority because they have
evolved in a different way.
So there are no big brothers in the sky?
Not in the way we humans dream that there are. The difficulty
is that these intelligences have abilities in the manipulation
of energy that we cannot yet conceive of. And they use
them without the restraints we put on ourselves. You may ask
Talo. He is the only working nonhuman we have with us.
That's amazing! How did Talo . . . join us?
We think it was an accident. Accidents do happen, you know.
Sometimes what we think of as accidents or miracles are no
more than some nonhuman intelligence interfering, we don't
know why.
I've had several out-of-body events that seemed like contacts
with these intelligences.
That's what they were. But they lost interest when they realized
you were too conscious to forget the incident. I see . . . Are there a
lot of these intelligences?
Too many in the physical universe. Trillions perhaps. And
there's the other one.
The other one? The other nonhuman intelligence?
Would you believe that in all of our history, ours and yours,
we have encountered only one nonhuman intelligence with an
origin not in time-space? There are others that seem to fit the
category, but they are very rare—or hard to perceive. In any
event, we have met only the one.
No wonder we're lonely.
That may be. Now we cannot give you an answer to your next
question. It lies with you.
You are sure? You mean about finding our options?
That is so.
I still don't understand why it should be me. I'm not a philosopher,
or even a super-researcher.
You are the best opportunity we have had. You don't know
your own strength. But we do. And much can change now
that you have taken this step inside.
Much has changed already. Can you help me with one more
thing? Can you tell me about the influences I have to watch
out for—to be aware of?
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My pleasure. But it is only a reminder. Let me give it to you as
a ROTE . . .
Later, I rolled the ROTE I had been given. Freely translated
and condensed, here it is:
There is a broad field of energy which for convenience is
called (M). It is virtually unrecognized in our contemporary
civilization. It is the only energy field common to and operational
both within and outside time-space and is present in
varying degrees in all physical matter. Because of the tendency
of (M) to accumulate in living organisms, LIFE—or Layered
Intelligence-Forming Energy—is a useful acronym for one
band of the (M) Field spectrum.
In the Earth Life System, (M) is present in greater concentration,
ranging from "inert" matter through microorganisms
to Human Minds. The variance and spectrum of (M)
radiation is extremely wide by local standards, yet is only a
small notch in the total breadth of the (M) Field.
All living organisms use (M) to communicate. Animals
are more aware of (M) radiation than humans, who, with few
exceptions, have no awareness of it at all.
Thought is a much-used perturbation of (M), and emotions
are bands of (M) adjacent to thought. Love is also a
band of (M) adjacent to thought. Thought-induced phenomena,
willful or autonomic, are side-band couplings of (M), and
thought affects and modulates (M) radiation.
The introduction by humans of time-space forms of communication
(speaking, writing, touching) greatly affected the
need for and the growth of (M)-based information systems.
Nevertheless, humans are subject to constant (M) input from
other sources, including human sources, without the conscious
knowledge of either sender or receiver.
The I-There is composed solely of (M), "There" being
outside time-space but within the (M) Field. Humans who are
not mind-active in time-space, who are phased out during
sleep, unconscious, or otherwise, are operating in the (M)
Field with a lesser phase relationship to the physical. Except
for those proficient in the process, most are fully occupied
with coping in the (M) Field and have no more awareness of
(M) energy systems than they had in the physical environment.
Those who are proficient in (M) techniques rarely find
Earth Life System applications worth the effort. There is more
excitement elsewhere.
Bonding effected during physical lifetimes is strictly (M)
Field imprint. It continues between individual I-There clusters
during any mind-consciousness state. Those who have moved
completely out-of-phase with time-space—those who have
died—may initially seek to retain contact with the Earth Life
System. Their lack of skill precludes all but the most rudimentary
attempts. After a short time by Earth standards, this communication
drops low in priority. However, the new bonding
from life experience does add to the interaction between
I-There clusters. The stronger the bonding, such as a love of
major proportions, the closer the continuing interaction between
the clusters.
The influence of (M) Field thought radiation induced by
Human Minds would be overwhelming were it not for the
inherent phase relationships involved. As in consciousness
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Ultimate Journey
phasing, the entire individual system of awareness is in phase
—tuned in—with only parts of this radiation. If
there is no
alignment of a given frequency, there is no reception. (M)
Field influence continues not only in time-space but also in
(M) Field residence, temporary or permanent. Through experience,
methods that prevent reception of undesirable thought
radiation may be learned, often painfully. It is a matter of
phasing. Shut off the aligning receptor thought-form and
there is no influence. This holds true both in physical and
nonphysical environment.
Group thought, especially when it is primarily emotioninducing,
can be highly contagious, owing to the extreme amplitude
of the radiation. Conversely, the organized (M) Field
radiation of a single individual can, if broad-banded enough,
be many thousand times greater than that of the group. Whatever
the source, reception can influence any mind and/or body
that contains resonant receptors.
There is an internal factor of influence to include. Emotional
thoughts have the capacity to instill signals into the
physical body which may be misinterpreted. These can interfere
not only with the physical DNA format but also with the
I-There pattern. This interference is engendered unintentionally
by the physical Human Mind manipulating the (M) Field.
The results may vary from strong physical health through
immunity, to severe illnesses, as well as their remission, placebos,
"miracle cures," to physical death.
Throughout human history, there have been those who
have possessed degrees of control of their (M) Field thought
radiation. In some cases this was a product of synthesis by
the personality cluster selected for that particular life
experience.
In others, the process was developed in the individual by an
accumulation of residual thought radiation and translated
into a working system. By control is meant the willful selection
or rejection of incoming thought radiation through manipulation
of receptor phasing. The quality and amplitude of
the thought radiation expressed by these individuals were directed
by the human mind-consciousness to serve planned
purposes. The most apparent of these individuals history
records as political and religious leaders. The most successful
have gone unnoticed owing to the deliberate lack of continuity
in their activities. The latter have the means to couple
other (M) Field bands with that of thought to produce a variety
of experiences within the receptor, to alter matter both in
structure and form, and to vary time-space energy fields.
Expressions of minor (M) Field control have abounded
throughout recorded human history. They include medicine
men, mind readers, witches, magicians, soothsayers, early
kings and emperors, hypnotists, mediums, healers,
psychokineticists, to mention only a few. Imitators without
such control have been rife in every era.
The power of beliefs and belief systems lies in various
manipulations of (M) Field energy. Your beliefs become
Knowns when you recognize or experience this manipulation.
There are very few ways and means to learn control of
(M) Field radiation within contemporary civilizations. This is
because of the intense and near-exclusive preoccupation with
time-space energies, especially those of the Earth Life System.
However, there is some evidence, collected from all over the
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Ultimate Journey
world, of exploration in the (M) Field with productive results.
It is likely that participants would agree that it is too little, too
late, and this exploration is not likely to be a factor in the
possible survival of human civilization in the current context.
* * *
What could possibly be more basic than the energy field we
use, I reflected after studying the ROTE. It amazed me that I
had gone all these years without troubling to perceive what
had been unloaded on me. It was as if one had been swimming
in an ocean for years without feeling the water! There was less
curiosity in me than I had thought.
The idea that every thought I may have that is tinged
with emotion radiates uncontrolled outward to others is
heavy with implication. It is even more uncomfortable to be
the recipient of such thoughts that others may emanate. This
realization would support the effort of those who make the
unrealistic attempt to spread love and light in a predator
world, or those who hold that we are part of a Universal One.
This knowledge also fills in a part of our mind-consciousness
that is usually omitted. Most human (M) Field energy is
not love and light. To participate openly in this energy, in
phase with all of it, could be devastating. Thus a form of
shielding develops automatically as insulation. When and if
leaks occur in the form of inadvertent phasing—emotional
thinking—we become exposed to an incredible amount of
discordant
and dangerous radiation.
The ROTE covers other areas also. Charisma, "gut" feel- ings,
instant likes and dislikes without surface justification,
and especially the origin and power of belief systems that
evoke emotion in large quantities—they all drop into place.
Also dealt with is the increasing amount of unexplained phenomena
in human action and behavior that cannot be measured
by time-space measurement systems and therefore is automatically
rejected by orthodox or conventional thinking.
One clear example is the placebo effect, recognized time and
again but rejected as a prime tool because it does not fit conventional
standards. Perhaps this is a case of (M) Field activity.
What of those who apparently are well versed in (M)
Field techniques but are very quiet about it? There are nearly
six billion humans in physical existence in this time frame. By
interpretation of the ROTE it would seem that at least six
thousand, who will never be publicly known, possess what
may be called incredible ability. This figure can be reduced
even more, leaving us with six hundred humans in physical
existence at this moment who are on the loose and unrecognized
and who can do covertly anything imaginable—and
much that we cannot imagine. I believe that I may have met
one of them; but I do not know. Where are they? one wonders.
What are they doing? How are they using their abilities?
If they keep themselves so successfully hidden, there must be
good reasons. What reasons? And why are they hanging
around being human?
Questions with no answers!
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14
The Sum and the Parts
With the accumulating load of influences, as real as they
seemed to be, I began to wonder if it were possible ever to
have a Different Overview strong enough to control their input.
It seemed extraordinary that I had managed to move in
any direction with such restraints to hold me back.
But I had, and in that fact was hope. Because I know I am
not all that unique, there is hope not only for me but for
anyone else with a good, solid Different Overview.
I felt that other discrepancies might exist that I had ignored,
so before taking the next and vital step, I returned to
my I-There for a final question session. As I lay down and
relaxed, it took only the blink of an eye for the contact to be
made.
This question of influences is troubling me.
You need not be troubled. You have learned control of enough
of your receptors to manage. If your receptors were not in
phase, the influences would not be received. Thinking
positively helps, does it?
Partly. Deliberately ignoring the input helps more. Every lifetime
we have is full of such influences.
Every lifetime? How far back . . . ?
How far back do we go? We can't relate it to your time measurement
system. May I show you something?
Please do . . .
. . . And there they were, thousands upon thousands of lines,
each glowing with energy, extending outward in many dimensions
from where I was . . . the I-There of me! Some lines
were bright, some dim, but each ended in what seemed a
cluster of radiation . . . another I-There. How could I have
missed such a connection . . . ?
You did not miss it. You merely perceived them in another
way. These are the sum of all the personalities we have ever
been, connecting with those we think of and those who think
of us. The bright ones are those associated with you in this
lifetime.
My God!
No, friend. No god here as you think it. Sorry.
So many of them . . . so many of mine, my connections in
this lifetime . . .
You understand that these are not all restraining influences, by
no means. When we go, all the love connections will either go
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with us or will help us on our way. Your own love that you
have now—she goes with us. You may be sure of that.
Are all of us here?
There are some still locked into one of the belief systems and
others who will be in and out of being human during the next
thousand years or so, but when you give the word we shall all
be assembled. So will all the others that you saw bonded to us.
When I give the word . . . for what?
To go.
Where?
Wherever you say. There is no need to worry. You will know.
How will I know?
You will know after you have made your exploration—your
run along what you call the Interstate.
When will I be doing that?
As soon as you are clear of this concern about influences. Let
us turn to something else. You were considering the number
of physically living humans, and how many of them have as
much or more ability as you have to move around without the
physical body.
Yes, I was. There were about six thousand of them.
Now look at the influence you could have if there were six
thousand of you! You could change the world very quickly.
Then why hasn't it happened? What haven't we heard about
them?
They keep themselves quiet and hidden, as you said. We did
not expect that you would come out into the open, but one in
your personality pattern insisted that you did. You thought at
one time that you would really change the world, but that was
not our intention. The others who go out-of-body simply keep
quiet—and exert influence.
But why? What purpose is served by keeping quiet?
That is your emotional personality speaking again, always
wanting to do good. The others know that they cannot
change the system and they don't wish to. They are content to
enjoy themselves in the Earth Life System and the only influence
they exert is to maximize their experience. They do not
want their abilities to be known by anyone.
Will they make the same Interstate run as you expect of me?
They probably already have. You were slowed down because
of the influence of those who knew about you and what they
demanded of you as a result. You lost some of your freedom
and it took time to get it back. Now there is one more area left
to cover. The Nonhuman Intelligences.
What do I need to know about them?
You should remember only one thing. They may seem more
intelligent than you, but all they have is more experience.
They know more about (M) Field resonances than you do.
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Those who used to be human are the ones you need to watch
for. They know more about being human than the others, so
they can influence you if you're not careful. But we are confident
you can manage.
And the others—those who were not human?
They are unpredictable. There are two kinds. There are those
who had the same origin as we did but lived physically elsewhere
in the universe. They know how to work in time much
better than we do, but for the most part they have only a
curiosity about humans.
What about the second kind?
That is for you to discover. When you have done so, when
you have found the right one, we shall have a new home. You
will search among the Nonhuman Intelligences, and you will
not be deluded or led astray.
The search. Can you tell me exactly what I am looking for?
Where we go next. We have been storing up knowledge and
experience and now we have learned enough here. There is no
reason for us to stay.
I see. And that is why I shall make this run?
It is. There is one thing you should know. Whatever you
encounter, nothing, absolutely nothing, can destroy you. You
are (M) Field energy, regardless of a physical body.
That's comforting. Perhaps we shall enjoy the journey. No,
friend. Not we. You do this alone. We are your guiding
beacon to help you return. We shall be waiting for you, to
show us where to go.
But . . . what happens if I don't come back? Or if I cannot
find anything . . . ?
There will be another one of us, at some time.
And what about me?
You will join us and wait. But you need not think of that. We
have confidence in you.
I wish I was as certain as you are.
We can help you with that. We can show you a sample of the
support you have here, in our own cluster. Do you wish to see
this?
Please . . .
. . . Thousands of hands reaching out to touch me . . . eyes
staring at me with joy and hope . . . overwhelming radiance
I know as love sweeping over me and into every part of my
being . . . all of these I am . . . we are . . . and emotion,
from the bittersweet smell of success to the pain of parting,
mixed with fun and laughter, the anger of ignorance, the
blindness of belief without foundation, the beauty, the sound
of singing voices . . •
Does that help you?
It does . . . Is there more?
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More than ten thousand times more. All the other clusters you
saw that are bonded to us.
Now I think I understand . . . I wish I had not lost contact
with my INSPEC friend. He might have come . . . Why are
you laughing?
I thought you would need a demonstration. Do you recognize
this?
. . . The feeling is familiar . . . I have been here before—
but when? There are people moving inward, flowing inward
. . . there is a tremendous surge of love and brotherhood,
and sisterhood . . . my own excitement builds . . .
It is our retrieval flow, retrieving our own from outside the
Belief System Territories and from the inner rings.
But this was the feed to the INSPEC area! I remember! And I
was escorted by my friend . . . My friend? One of you!
INSPEC—that was a poor label.
Tell me, who was it that I talked with, who was so patient
with me and knew the answers? Why are you laughing!
Who knows you best of all?
I . . . me? I was talking with myself? But what about the
time factor?
You were talking with yourself—who else knew you
better? So that's why the meetings ended! I ran out
of information.
And as the INSPEC I knew better!
That was so. The process served a valuable and necessary
function at that stage in your growth.
It did indeed. But I don't remember playing the INSPEC role.
No. You have not done it yet.
Oh . . . Then I will do it when . . .
When you return. Does that make you feel more confident?
It puts an end to any fears I might develop.
Good. Now, do you have the sequence clear? Do you remember
the visit you made in the period ahead?
I do. Past the year 3000, I called it.
Do you realize what was to happen after your visit?
I'm not sure . . .
That is when all of us will leave. All of us, together with many
other I-There clusters who will go with us.
So that is it. I am to find out where and why.
Correct.
And then what will happen to me?
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As you do not want to go Home anymore, you will wait here
with us after you finish the physical sojourn you are now
involved with. Then with us you will make the final journey.
So I do complete my present life?
Of course. Remember, when you return you will have to take
on all those INSPEC meetings with yourself. Now, do you
need anything else?
I will contact you if I do.
No, this is the last meeting until you return. We have work to
do and so do you. You have our love. What else do you need?
I need nothing more.
I accepted what I had been told. I was assured of my
return, although the question of success was another matter. I
had good evidence too that I was indestructible, my I-There
floating in the (M) Field for thousands of years. We are made
of the same stuff.
As for my assignment, I understood now that it was beyond
mere curiosity. It had all been carefully planned, even if I
did not know how to identify what I was looking for.
I wished that I could take a friend with me to make it less
lonely. Then I realized that I wouldn't be alone, that the (M)
Field love radiation would be with me all the time.
So here was the new direction, where the Basic would be
found!
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15
Long Trail A-Winding
The most bemusing aspect when mapping out the route
of the Interstate has been the vast number of areas that I had
left unexplored. Evidently when I had enough information for
a specific purpose I had ignored or glossed over any additional
data. This, however, did have some advantages; if I had been
aware of the potentials, I might have given way to caution and
called off any further exploration. I like to think of myself as
adventurous but not foolhardy in my curiosity-seeking.
But now it was far more than curiosity. With a Purpose,
a true, emerging Basic, and with all apparent influences in
their respective proportions, I was ready for a full-scale approach
to what earlier I had taken so casually. One line ended
and another was about to begin.
Here, allowing for the usual problems of translation, is
what happened.
3:00 A.M. November 27, 1987 . . . It is easy to start, lying
down, focused attention . . . resist the tendency to speed up
the process, keep it slow, don't miss anything this time . . .
relax, breathe evenly . . . now the beginning of differential
phasing . . . the fading of physical input as phase separation
deepens and nonphysical sensory mechanisms begin to take
over . . . wonder why there was ever fear . . . this is much
the same as going to sleep but without loss of consciousness
. . . moving, moving . . . and now above the Earth, high
enough to see the curvature . . . and higher . . . a huge
globe, much as the astronauts saw it, beautiful . . . filled
with so much action . . . the memories flood in . . . gently
close them down, except for one . . . yes, as a son of sons of
sons you go with me . . . the essence that helped me be what
I am, always with me, joyfully . . .
. . . Shift the phasing more . . . only blackness, deep
blackness . . . blackness with texture . . . a slight shift
more and there they are . . . millions of tiny flashes of light
moving in rite of passage in two directions . . . flowing inward
toward and outward from where I have just emerged,
each a human mind-consciousness in transit, inward for a
fresh start of a new experience in physical life . . . outward
to a predetermined sanctuary or a belief-driven illusion . . .
. . . Slowly changing phase . . . deep sadness for those
whose flight slows to a halt in bewilderment and confusion
. . . the brighter lights of those who enter from outside, the
retrievers, the helpers who calm the distraction of death panic
. . . you know about this when you've been both screamer
and consoler . . .
. . . Then the Belief System Territories, with their exit
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ramps leading off the Interstate . . . move by them slowly,
one after the other . . . too dim to see what lies beyond . . .
next the more familiar, more discernible, leading to the great
religions . . . accessible for those who need them . . .
much inflow of light into these, and a sprinkle of outflow back
to the Earth Life System . . .
. . . open the phase shift more, slowly . . . yes, the
Last Timer ring, there it is . . . do I stop? . . . no, pass it
by, move on out, farther, farther . . .
. . . clusters of light, human energy lights, a multidimensional
carpet of them, endless . . . I-There clusters
. . . how did I miss them before? Now I understand the inflow
and outflow . . . mine is there but I must stay on track
. . . the outflow of helpers, finding lost parts of their cluster
. . . the inflow bringing them back. And that other steady
outflow . . . thousands and thousands . . . the insertions
of groups of personality units into single fresh humans in the
Earth Life System . . .
. . . open the phase shift slowly, steadily . . . distinct
separation . . . nothing but (M) Field . . . I know this
point so well . . . the meeting place with my INSPEC . . .
with myself . . . so many times and I learned so much . . .
no more now . . . just blackness . . . move on, on . . .
. . . a figure approaches, human, human-shaped . . .
greets me with a wave . . . fades out as I shift my phasing
slightly . . . now I am past human thought influence . . . I
have been here before but never like this . . . it was lonely
then, but no more loneliness sudden pressure all around me,
encasing me . . .
relax, don't struggle, don't resist . . . no fear . . . wonder
. . . feeling of soft, gentle energy penetrating every part of me
. . . inquisitive, asking, intelligent . . . let me ask . . .
who? . . . energy ceases its movement . . . use nonverbal
. . . make a mental line outward, flexible . . .
. . . the line straightens, becomes taut . . . there is a
picture—twin suns, a planet orbiting, glowing sparks moving
in and out of the planet . . . one travels down the line to
here . . . the pressure holding me shuts off . . . another
picture of two arms extended in welcome . . .
. . . send question . . . trying to read the response
. . .
. . . restless and bored, I learned all there was to learn
on the planet and began to explore outward. I have a physical
form on my home planet—like a fish—no, more like a
dolphin
. . . a dolphin . . .
. . . a flash of warm friendliness, and then nothing. He
read my love of dolphins, and like attracts like . . . but
where was he from . . . he . . . ?
. . . Rotate phase shift slowly . . . ought to be coming
to KT-95 soon, but not to stop . . . my first childhood . . .
. . . a sudden bright light, blue . . . and a voice in my
head . . .
Turn back!
Is it a command or a warning?
It is both. Turn back! Return!
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. . . I can't read it . . . but if it reads me, I must be able
to . . . no, it doesn't have a mind . . . automatic . . . not
physical, energy only . . . a device . . . may be dangerous
. . . let me send . . . I cannot turn back, I belong past
here . . .
Identify!
. . . a picture, remember KT-95 . . . the colored
clouds, the music, the games . . . The blue light blinks out. It
is gone. A watchdog? Who put it on duty? Now, this is familiar
. . . a flash of my original home. KT-95 I called it, but
that is not its real name . . . only a memory . . . move past
without a backward look . . .
. . . flashes of light far off on either side . . . am I going
too far? Blackness ahead . . . should I stop and consider?
This may be pointless . . . more lights . . . one
straight ahead . . . careful . . . slow down . . .
Well! So you have come to join me! I did not have to come
back to meet you.
. . . this radiation is unmistakable! It is Miranon! Miranon—
how many times did he visit us with his serenity and his
clarity . . . via OBEs in this lifetime.
Miranon! Are you still on your forty-ninth level?
/ am, but I am ready to move. You come at the right moment I
was not intentionally trying to find you.
J know. I perceive what you are doing. You have learned
much.
Yes, I have. And I understand now your purpose in returning.
The task of gathering in your parts, as you called them, is not
easy, is it?
That is true. As with you, others are performing that function,
other parts of me. Now you too are searching.
But I do not know what I am searching for. Is what I seek the
same as your goal? We are gathering together the parts of us,
up and down in time, from belief system to belief system. I
cannot—we cannot—leave until we gather all in.
That is so.
Then, my friend, what do we do when we have completed our
task?
That is what keeps me moving onward to higher levels. I
think I see the end, but then I see greater vistas beyond.
Perhaps we should search together.
No, my friend. We move at different rates. I cannot change,
nor can you. And I perceive you have found the way and I
have yet to find mine.
I don't understand. Found the way?
The way to obtain your answer.
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I have? Where?
You passed it by and did not consider the opportunity.
Passed it by? I missed something again? Where?
At the point of your first origin. That is what I am seeking. I
have yet to find my original source. I am sure the answer is
there for me. It may be the same for you.
My origin—KT-95? But I know it very well. There is nothing
new there.
Not new. Old—no, that is not the term. First. The first and
the source. Look at the source.
Back to the beginning. I shall try.
/ wish you well, dear friend. Do not be concerned. We shall
meet again.
Of that I am sure.
Go with love.
Warm radiance washes through me and fades as the
glowing figure moves away. Was the meeting accidental? It
came just when needed, when the distance ahead seemed endless,
bringing me added strength to give increased impetus. But I
must turn back—let me explore a little farther before I
do so . . . What? Blinding energy—I cannot move!
A voice in my head—a cold, admonitory voice . . .
I am the Lord thy God, whom you serve.
. . . A feeling of intense pressure, as if I am dissolving
. . . now I am in water . . . my lungs are full of water . . .
I must have air . . . get rid of the water . . . no, it can't be,
it isn't so . . . there is no water . . . I have no lungs. I am
being made to think that is where I am . . . it is an influence
. . . I know it is not so. The pressure releases . . . I can feel
fingers of energy probing for the core of me . . . I can stop
this . . . close the receptors . . . close tight . . . I remember
how . . .
You do not remember! You do not remember!
But I do . . . I remember the tests, the training experience
from my I-There . . . they were so real . . . I am
ready, ready for this demanding energy . . . it cannot harm
me. But what is this? What god can this be? It cannot harm
me or affect me . . . be calm, warm, friendly . . .
Do you not accept me as your god?
. . . the idea of a god that threatens amuses me . . . I
let this idea flow out . . .
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Do you not fear me?
. . . I release a picture of me blowing apart again and
again into millions of fragments, and reconstituting after every
explosion . . .
You are damned! You are no more than wasted energy of me,
who is your Lord!
. . . the energy fades to a tiny point and vanishes. How
many more like this may I encounter? . . . a waste of my
effort . . .
. . . What did Miranon say? I should go back . . .
back to KT-95. Let me do this . . . close phase shift . . .
move in slowly . . . it looks the same . . . just the same
. . . rainbow clouds . . . I'll stretch out and rest for a while,
lie in the clouds and listen to the music . . . yes, that's better
. . . the origin . . . but it's just the same . . . always the
same. It's a blind alley . . . there's nothing more here . . .
can't phase in anymore. I might as well try something else,
when I've rested . . . What shall I do next? Here it is the way
it always was . . . even the curls of energy below . . . I remember
when I was a curl, playing skip as they are now . . .
wait . . . wait . . . skip . . . roll inward . . . I remember
. . . but what if? what if? . . . reverse it, reverse skip . . .
what happens . . . ?
. . . careful, careful . . . it feels much stronger now
than it did then . . . the movement . . . the music is fading
. . . clouds dissolving . . . the curls are gone . . . nothing now,
nothing but a spiraling mass of energy moving outward
. . . moving inward bit by bit . . . like swimming upstream
. . .
. . . the spiral becomes tighter, tighter . . . narrowing,
very narrow . . . the current is stronger . . . hard to move
against . . . but still moving . . . hard, hard . . . takes
too much strength . . . ahead of me the vortex point . . . a
little more, little more . . . too small, can't get through it
. . . concentrate energy . . . skip . . . skip . . .
. . . a surge deep inside me . . . another, larger . . .
taking me over . . . another wave . . . it hurts but it is
beautiful . . .
(and a part of me is left behind)
. . . skip . . . skip . . . a larger surge . . . hurts terribly
all through me, but so beautiful, so exquisitely beautiful
. . . nothing can be so magnificent as this . . .
(I lose another part of what I was)
. . . skip . . . another surge . . . nothing can hurt so
deeply . . . nothing can be so all-encompassing in joy . . .
but I can't stand much more . . .
(not much of the old me left)
. . . skip . . . the greatest surge . . . this is it, this is it
. . . there is nothing greater than what I feel, nothing so total,
total joy, total beauty, total . . .
* * *
What? Why did I wake up this way? I need to put my consciousness
back together . . . There, that's more like it!
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Now, what happened? Yes, the dream. Dream? Or did I live
it? Was it real—or someone else's dream?
. . . Now everything is in place and operating . . . the
dream is fading quickly . . . something about clouds and
curls . . . and moving along an Interstate . . . and life and
death, whatever that means . . . something called time-space
. . . and a blue planet . . . a sun . . . strange, strong energy
. . . millions of suns . . . and love . . . never forget
the feeling of that even if it was only a dream . . . a complicated
dream . . . took so much energy to wake up . . .
here in this bright coolness . . .
. . . What a strange place to wake up in. I didn't go to
sleep here. How did I fall asleep? I'd better get back where I
belong . . .
. . . the flow, look at the flow . . . all moving in the
same direction, from all dimensions . . . must join in before
I fall asleep again . . . the dream . . . parts keep coming
back . . .
. . . must stay moving with the others . . . but they are
all so much larger than I am . . . I'm just a speck . . . so
small . . .
You are indeed, little one. Stay with me. I will help you.
. . . the one next to me, yes . . . so big I cannot see it
all . . . a strong surge of energy coming down to me . . .
good, that does help . . . my consciousness is filling out
more . . . remembering how it happened . . . yes . . .
was part of the Whole . . . one by one, parts were placed
here and there, taken from the Whole and placed . . .
where? Can't see it clearly . . . the excitement . . . joy at a
new adventure . . . one by one, those around me were
placed . . . then it was my moment . . . the wrenching
. . . the uncertainty . . . then the Whole was gone . . .
what terrible loneliness . . . alone . . . need to get back to
the Whole . . . consciousness falling apart . . . fall asleep
. . . sleep . . . what is sleep? . . . losing consciousness,
falling apart . . . that was it . . .
. . . Now I am moving back . . . back to the Whole,
where I belong. I can feel the beginning of the radiation, becoming
more intense as we move . . . what joy to return
. . .
What gifts do you bring, little one? I perceive none.
. . . Gifts? Gifts? I have only the need to return to the
Whole where I belong, where there are others like me . . . I
am what I have always been . . . Gifts? That means more
than I am or was . . . there is nothing more . . . only the
dream . . .
There is something different with you. You bring no gifts and
you are alone. You are incomplete.
. . . Incomplete? How can that be? I am the same as
when I left the Whole . . . I will be complete when I return
. . . I do not understand . . . all I need do is return . . .
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You do understand, but you have covered it over. We have
reached under the covering. Let us help you remember how it
began.
. . . What? Not the dream but connected to it . . . before
the dream began. It was good, but the Whole needed
more . . . and the Whole is . . . yes, that is when it happened
. . . the Whole distributing parts to grow . . . to reproduce
. . . to add to the Whole . . . is that it? Then the
gifts would be more of me . . . ? It has to do with the dream
. . . something in it, or the entire dream . . . must open my
memory of the point when I was not conscious here . . .
careful . . . don't want to splinter my consciousness
again . . .
That cannot happen. It will be a blending of what you are
now with the awareness of what you call the dream. It is the
total of that experience which is your gift. You will understand
why you are incomplete, why you are small. Observe.
. . . the memory of the dream opens up, and the awakening
. . . but now I am the observer . . . trying to move
upstream . . . before . . . a flash of light energy as I was
inserted into the play of KT-95 . . . the boredom . . . the
curiosity . . . departure . . . a lonely migration, seeking,
seeking . . . bright suns of energy in endless array . . .
joining others like me in the search . . . search for what? It is
inexpressible . . . then the radiation of a blue planet satellite
of a yellow sun . . . entry . . . entry to become what? . . .
Human . . . yes, human! It is very real even as I
observe it. Moving into a physical being composed of distorted
energy . . . physical matter, energy locked into limited
expression . . . the heavy feeling of that limitation, yet
the inborn drive to maintain energy in the physical matter and
keep it operating . . . a very wonderful yet contradictory design.
Next comes the need to search being converted into acts
and reactions in another modality . . . not succeeding in this
maintenance and trying again and again . . . so many passages
in and out, from the first small creature with the furry
face . . . the rise and fall of awareness and intellect again
and again through millennia of passages . . . lifetimes . . .
the sum of all these are the gifts brought back to the Whole,
but I do not have them with me . . . now I see the reason for
the distribution of parts . . . what gifts I have from the
dream! And I am . . . I am all of those life passages, all of
them. What did I call the total . . . the I-There of me. But I
am only a part of that . . .
That is why you are small and incomplete. There is more.
Yes . . . others who are waiting . . . clusters of other
I-Theres. We go as a unit . . . yes . . . So in the dream I
was an . . . an advance agent . . . a scout . . .
When all have been assembled you will come with your gifts.
You will no longer be small, but much as we are. All of the
others will come with you.
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Ultimate Journey
Was your process the same? Did one part of you come here
first?
With us it was different. You act as you do because your
diversification is so wide. On our planet, our entire species
became aware and made the shift as one.
Why . . . why are we stopping?
The Aperture is just ahead. It will open soon. Beside it you
can perceive the Emitter for the energy beam that creates
what you call the dream.
The dream . . . The hologram would be a better term
. . . The energy is very strong . . . a flaming ball of energy
. . . There is a function I have to perform . . . The Emitter
reminds me . . . I need to do this . . .
We understand, friend. Go.
. . . There they come, two figures, one glowing more
than the other . . . I move closer to the Emitter, very close
. . . I shield them from the energy of the Emitter . . . opening
my receptors to help in the shielding . . . and I remember
the two parts of me there in the dream . . . and I feel the full
effects of the radiation, but now I can absorb it where they
could not . . . I bathe in the radiation . . . filling, absorbing
.. . how much more . . . how much . . . Yes, now I
know what I am, what I have been from the beginning, what I
always will be . . . a part of the Whole, the restless part
that desires to return, yet lives to seek expression in
doing, creating,
building, giving, growing, leaving more than it takes, and
above all desires to bring back gifts of love to the Whole . . .
the paradox of total unity and the continuity of the part. I
know the Whole . . . I am the Whole . . . even as a part I
am the totality . . .
. . . The parts of me from the dream retreat and I move
back, remembering the dream well, and what I must do . . .
You have grown somewhat, little one.
. . . There is something—I remember something I have
to do . . . for us. What happens when we enter and rejoin
the Whole?
There is much speculation about that. We can give you a
ROTE describing one probable result. It will be interesting to
you when you return to the dream . . . to the hologram.
When I return? I have to go back to the dream? To lose consciousness
again?
You have no choice. You are incomplete. But this consciousness
will return with you. You would not abandon those who
are waiting, even if it were possible.
That is so.
Take this ROTE. It may help you to be patient, you and the
sum of you.
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I am sure it will. But I . . . we . . . need so much to know
what it is to become complete. Can you say?
We know this well. It can be said in your words.
There is no beginning, there is no end,
There is only change.
There is no teacher, there is no student,
There is only remembering.
There is no good, there is no evil,
There is only expression.
There is no union, there is no sharing,
There is only one.
There is no joy, there is no sadness,
There is only love.
There is no greater, there is no lesser,
There is only balance.
There is no stasis, there is no entropy,
There is only motion.
There is no wakefulness, there is no sleep,
There is only being.
There is no limit, there is no chance,
There is only a plan.
This is as we know it to be.
Thank you. I accept this.
You need to move through the other half of the circle to complete
your journey The other half of the circle?
It is much easier. Goodbye, little one.
Driven by a glorious need to effect completion, I begin
the return. The flow stops behind me, waiting to enter.
Just the flicker of a thought of entering brings great anticipation.
. . . Back to the dream . . . go back to the dream . . .
How did I get here? What did I do? Memory begins to
filter in . . . moving upstream against the energy, using the
skip technique of the curl children . . . How do I start it?
Yes . . . downstream should be easy . . . use the regular
skip I knew so well as a child in the dream . . . skip . . .
skip . . .
. . . and instantly back through the narrow slit . . . a
blur of curls playing . . . stop just outside the rainbow
clouds . . . how far away it was when I lay there, starting to
speculate . . . now the flood of memory returns, the I-Here
of me . . . the rest is easy . . . just phase shifting . . .
. . . back up the Interstate, once so hard, now so easy
. . . a blur of images and vibrations . . . I have the final
ROTE . . . a wave of laughter and relief . . . the Fellow
Traveler understood me . . . he knew how impatient I was!
There is still fun . . . and yet I know the ultimate . . . unbelievable,
yet it happened . . . a strange, bright knowing,
being in the dream, knowing what it is and having the emotions
of the dream . . . yet I am still awake, pulsating with
what I am beyond the dream. Can there be any way to express
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that wave form in the dream without disturbing the illusion?
Or is the design exactly that, to disturb the dream . . .
So I have to make one more run, to the other end of the
circle. I know what it is . . . to move the other way on the
Interstate, not out but in. If I use my quick-switch phasing and
the skip, both of them . . .
. . . and I move swiftly in . . . past the I-There clusters
. . . they are gone . . . past the Belief System Territories
. . . they wink out . . . past the blue planet . . . and
watch as it reverts to a ring of dust . . . everything moves,
everything moves . . . going against the flow again, following
back to where it began . . . a huge flower of particles
and light folding back together . . . back into a beam . . .
a beam . . . get into it, move with it . . . can I stand it? It is
so strong . . .
. . . and there it is . . . the Emitter! No, there was no
big bang . . . it came from the Emitter . . . the creation of
the hologram . . . and there it is, the return flow off to one
side . . . a cycle . . . a closed loop . . . a circle! Now I
know . . . now I know!
. . . I had better get back, back to the I-There of me
. . . let them know . . . easy and quick . . . quick-switch
and skip . . .
Ram, is that you?
It is. Your scout is back.
Control your radiation! You're burning us out! Oh, sorry. Is
that better?
When you broke the uplink, we did not know if you would
come back. But you have! Now we can act. But first you had
better . . .
I have it! I have what you need!
Stop and listen, will you?
What is it?
You must move back into your physical body. Now.
Why? Is something wrong?
We have been trying to send a thought to you. When your
uplink broke, it also cut you off from your physical body. If
you do not move back quickly, you may lose it. It is not yet
the right time.
. . . If they were concerned, so was I! They gave me a
surge of energy as I began a rapid shift back to the physical
phase. The body was shocked, and I was shocked—it was so
cold, the blood pressure very low, the pulse rate slow, the
heart near fibrillation. As I started the breathing again, deeply,
the body began slowly to warm up, to move back to normal,
but the muscles were stiff . . . it would take several days to
get them back into reasonable operation . . .
* ¥ *
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It did indeed take several days. The physical body eventually
returned to reasonable operation. The essence of me, however,
did not. There was not simply a Different Overview, but
a remembering of unlimited freedom, an ever so slight glimpse
of an Ultimate Option.
And I knew that I had the missing Basic!
At least I now have tears I can shed, cheeks down which
they can roll, and a loving hand to brush them away. As for
the gifts—when the time is right, I can take them with me. It
may become harder and harder to stay here. The wanderer
cannot wait forever.
And yet, I look around me. At the magnificent design, at
the wonderfully engineered reduction of ideas into practical
application. At how living mechanisms modify to changes in
ambience. I look at the leaf of a tree, flexible enough to withstand
changes in wind pressure, guyed and ribbed on the underside
so that it always returns upward-facing, performing
the function of a transducer.
I look at the kitten explorer, who learns more in a week
than in the rest of her lifetime, who learns how to use her
built-in calculator that measures the distance from floor to
table and triggers the exact amount of energy that enables her
to leap five times her height and land safely on the table.
My awareness reaches out to the land, air, and sea which
act in profound symbiosis to provide everything that is needed
for millions—no, billions—of life-forms that
inhabit this
place.
Which came first, the need or the idea?
And there is the added layer on my brain that gave me the
chance to think instead of merely exist. To be what I am.
Was that planned in the design—or an experiment to observe
the effect? Or was there another reason not yet understood?
Chaos, organization, variables—they are all one and the
same.
Even if it all can be replicated eventually, I would like to
meet the Original Designer. Once.
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16
The Roadside View
It took me many weeks of contemplation to recover from
the deep run along the Interstate. Yet to call it "along the
Interstate" is only partially correct. I had to make a turn in
another direction to reach my destination.
"Recover" is another misnomer. I certainly did not recover—
nor will I, ever. The change is permanent. I have no
idea how many other humans have had the same experience
and returned to tell about it. Each report would be colored by
the individual and the civilization and era in which it took
place. This was so with me. And words and analytical synthesis
are inadequate to convey the whole meaning and validity
of the experience.
The Basic—the missing Basic—was now a Known to me.
Not a belief, hope, or faith; not conveyed by intuition or
emotion; but a Known firmly fixed in my mind-consciousness.
Indeed, it had been there all along, but I had failed to recognize
the many patterns of evidence for what they were. Acceptance
is not the same as Knowing. So . . . the Known Basic. The physical
universe, including
the whole of humankind, is an ongoing creative process.
There is indeed a Creator. Who or what this Creator is lies
beyond the Emitter and the Aperture, and I have not been
there. Therefore, that part I do not know. Not yet. All I have
is the overwhelming experience in the ray near the Emitter,
and of the evolving creative process as it takes place in this
world and in myself. This I perceive with my Different Overview.
The human mind-consciousness has speculated for aeons
as to our Creator beyond that Aperture. I have not been able
to engage in this for reasons I now recognize. Because of the
continuing use of the label of "God" in a myriad variations, I
had resisted any attempt at identification in any descriptive
form. The discoloration and misconceptions would be too
great. Now I know why I had resisted. The same applies to the
word "spiritual" and many other commonly used terms.
These to me are Knowns:
This, our Creator:
• is beyond our comprehension as long as we remain human
• is the designer of the ongoing process of which we are a
part
• has a purpose for such action beyond our ability to
understand
• makes adjustments, fine tuning, in this process as needed
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• establishes simple laws that apply to everyone and
everything
• does not demand worship, adoration, or recognition
• does not punish for "evil" and "misdeeds"
• does not intercede or interdict in our life activity
The desire to return with gifts is an integral part of the
design.
Most important, I realized that no words I could write or
speak, no music I could compose, would be able to transfer
fully such Knowing to another human mind. As a belief it
might be possible, but not as a Known. This could come only
through direct individual experience. How to provide this was
the essential item.
Then I became aware that the process of transfer was
two-thirds completed—in place and operating within the
learning system we had devised at our Institute.
First I had to ascertain why there was a need to help this
transfer to others. I recalled my meeting with the nameless
great being near the Aperture. I was incomplete, I had been
told. I was too "small." There was not "enough" of me. And I
knew nothing of the "gifts" that were to accompany me
through the Aperture.
I remembered the human civilization of thousands of
years ago that I had visited. They were more than a million in
number; they had received their Signal and were preparing to depart as
a completed unit. I remembered too the sudden
"winking out"—the disappearance of hundreds of thousands
of assembled humans, no longer in a physical state, in the
nearby I-There clusters bonded together. Lastly I remembered
the visit I made a few years ago, when I traveled some fifteen
hundred years into the future to a nonphysical human civilization
of which I was a part. They—or we—were on the verge
of departure as a unified whole. My visit was some form of
final closure they had been waiting for, which I did not then
understand.
I understand now. Also I understand what "small"
meant, why I was "incomplete," and what the "gifts" were. I
know why I became involved in the "retrieval" process of
those who had left the physical. And I understand why I felt
the need to share my experiences through books and writing,
why I put all my physical assets and years of personal effort
into the development of learning systems, so that others could
achieve states of consciousness similar to those I had experienced.
It was not ego gratification; I had no desire to become a
guru or "spiritual" leader. It was not fame; my other life
activities had taken care of that. It was not fortune; I had done
well enough in this respect long before my first OBE. Nor was
it the many personalities of me in the I-There of me. Individually
they were as unknowing as I. They were simply part of
the mosaic.
It was the Basic; the collection and unification of the
"parts," not only the errant and missing ones in my own
I-There, but the parts of the entire I-There cluster to which I
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am bonded. I have no idea how many others are in the cluster.
It may be thousands or hundreds of thousands.
Why is there this need for total unification? So that we
can become truly One. Complete, and with a multitude of
gifts of experience and love. Then we as a totality can wink
out and pass through the Aperture.
And what then? The answer is unknown.
The schedule for this Earth departure is apparently in the
thirty-fifth century. But we cannot leave until we have gathered
back all of the parts of each I-There in our cluster—a
massive task. So we shall be in the retrieval mode as needed,
as parts of us drop out of the physical bewildered and uncertain,
or fall through a crack in a belief system that has held
them entrapped for so long.
My role, I could see, was that of a facilitator. The Basic
needed to be incorporated into our activities and learning systems.
I had been unaware of what we had been leading up to.
I was unaware also of the probability that within our methods
and techniques to improve human consciousness there was
some kind of Signal that may have alerted and attracted those
who are from their own I-There bonded within our cluster. I
wondered how many of the thousands who had participated
in our programs belong to our particular cluster. There is no
way of knowing, yet.
For more than fifteen years our programs have been providing
working knowledge of human consciousness up to the
very edge of time-space. The move beyond this border to begin
gathering knowledge of the Basic was indeed an ultimate
challenge. The problem was how to do this cleanly and
clearly, to make the Basic a Known instead of a belief. This
could only happen through personal experience.
I had to start with Knowns. What I have called the entry
ramps to the Interstate is physical death as perceived by most
Human Minds. These ramps lead past the edge of their
Known map, and the road signs are contradictory.
Culturally, we know very little about death and beyond
at this time. We may believe different premises and prospects,
but that is not Knowing. The only thing that we all do know
is that physical death is going to happen to each of us and to
those we love sooner or later. But that is all, and hence comes
the fear.
To compound the situation, virtually all of our knowledge
and scientific study are focused upon physical matter and
time-space. Our insatiable dream is to know all about Here
without exception or omission. The origin of this compulsion
goes back to the human struggle to exist in a hostile environment,
driven by the directive to survive. This underlying motive
is still present, even though heavily disguised.
In the matter of physical death, our sciences can provide
only those approaches that somehow relate to physical matter.
Specifically we are looking at a system of measurement of
Something. If there is no electrical signal in the brain, if there
is no chemical action, if there is no physical movement, then
you have Nothing. So death equals Nothing. And if you ask
whether the Human Mind disappears when the electrochemical
reaction ceases, much like the magnetic field around an
electromagnet when the electricity is shut off, you will almost
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certainly receive a positive answer. But, you may continue,
such magnetic fields don't really disappear, because they leave
measurable imprints on sensitive matter in or near them—so
what about the mind? Of course, comes the scientific reply,
humans do much the same; they live in the memory of their
remaining loved ones or in the physical artifacts they caused
to be formed—their work, their books, buildings, and so on.
But that is all.
It is easy to see why so many scientists and medical professionals
are nihilist or atheist in their public stance. But even
so, many are forced into a belief image of survival owing to
cultural pressure or hidden hopes and guilts. Moreover, scientific
and medical researchers are inadvertent participants in
the Earth Life System predator process. As such, they are
prone to adjust their data to suit their needs as much as anyone
else. Nevertheless, some of our greatest scientists have
deduced that we are more than our physical bodies, or at least
that our mind is more than the output of our brain.
The bulk of our scientific knowledge is not germane to
any approach that tries to make Something out of Nothing,
and so we must reluctantly set it aside. Scientific endeavor is
almost wholly enmeshed in the Earth Life System and physical
time-space, and very little is applicable in this arena. Nor do
religions and philosophies provide us with much help. For
thousands of years men of religion in particular have been
trying to persuade us to believe in subsequent-to-death existence.
A vast number of techniques have been utilized in the
attempt to help followers into the Knowing stage, but very
few, if indeed any, have succeeded. So we come back to personal
experience. If it were possible
to cross the border, to visit the area of so-called Nothing
and return, and to describe it as it is in clear terms uninhibited
by belief systems, then this would in time lead to worldwide
Knowing and consequently the elimination of fear. But so far
we do not know how to do this.
Yet there is the possibility that we are already doing it—
and we simply don't remember.
If I knew with no trace of doubt what I would be and do
after I died, it would change me radically. I could live my
physical life to the fullest, without the shadow lurking behind
every second, the shadow that says one wrong move and your
time is up'. If we knew that each of us had the option to depart
when we were certain our physical future held no more light
for us, how our lives would be transformed! If we had the
assurance that, no matter what happens, we can continue our
love bonding beyond the Earth Life System and time-space—if
we were certain that when a loved one departs we would
know beyond doubt where we can find him or her—what a
wonderful freedom we would have!
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17
More Work in Progress
Having reviewed as best as I could the very little that was
available on the subject of life beyond in the Earth Life System
data, I decided that reversion to a personal inventory was the
only way. What I was seeking had become a kind of death
insurance, and personal circumstances now indicated that the
need for this was pressing. My Core Self told me it was not as
difficult as I seemed to think it was and with this in mind I
began my search.
There was a small group of those whom I knew well that
I had actually contacted, after their physical exit, during an
out-of-body experience. This group included my father, who
died after a year of incoherent suffering as a result of a stroke.
I had found him in a small room with one window, apparently
recuperating, and he had extended warm greetings.
There were also an engineer friend, Charlie, who died after a
heart attack and whom I discovered in a cabin on an ocean
shore; my pilot and research friend, Agnew, whom I met
months after his fatal plane crash in what appeared to be a research
laboratory, very excited about a new project; and
Dick, my MD friend, who died from abdominal cancer and
whom I found looking younger and fit talking with two other
men in what seemed an office. I also briefly met my mother,
although this was not during an OBE. She appeared in the
front passenger seat of my car as I was driving to work, just a
few minutes after she died in an Ohio hospital.
There were others, but none I knew as well as these. As I
traced what they were . . . as I knew them, an interesting
fact emerged. Not one had been locked into a postmortem
belief system. But where had they gone and how did they get
there? After all those years I had not taken the trouble to find
out.
While considering this, I came to realize how very few
wrought-in-steel belief systems my parents had forced on me.
There had been no fire and brimstone, no devils or angels, no
preaching about an afterlife; only the process of self-determination.
Neither they nor I at the time realized how valuable
their attitude was.
During nightly runs I began the search to discover what
had happened to those I had met after their Earth Life System
sojourn. About three in the morning, after two sleep cycles, I
was fully rested and relaxed. I rolled out and with a thought I
was in the blackness outside and near my physical body. It
took a moment to home in on the edge of the H Band. Backing
away from the H Band Noise, I began to look for those
who had not possessed a strong postmortem belief system.
Charlie came first to mind, and with a light quick-switch
focus I was in his self-created nonphysical cabin by the ocean.
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It was like being in a still picture. The sandy beach appeared
normal but the cabin was empty. The clouds were immobile
in the sky and the sun seemed stationary. There was no ocean
breeze. Charlie was gone. If he had been there, everything
would have been in motion.
Then I noticed what to me was an anomaly. I could feel
sand under my feet. I looked down. My feet were there—bare
feet. I wiggled my toes and dug them in the sand. It was
altogether natural. To one side was a stretch of grass. I
walked, not floated, over to the grass and stepped on it. It felt
just like real grass. I bent down and plucked a blade, belatedly
realizing I also had a hand. I put the grass in my mouth and
chewed. The taste and texture were real. It was indeed grass,
living and growing.
The Charlie I knew never indicated he could create living
organisms. Yet here was the evidence. And there was my automatic
assumption of a physical form, which was unusual to
say the least. What kind of energy field had Charlie generated?
It was certainly not a belief system, as I had not been
conditioned to expect what I found.
As I left, slowly and deliberately, my sense of a physical
body faded. I checked the "location" and found it was just
inside the H Band Noise barrier, within the human radiation
band of the (M) Field spectrum.
In the following weeks I tried to discover where Charlie
had gone. Try as I might, I could find no trace of him anywhere.
The next person I sought was my father. Owing to the
stroke, he had suffered very deep pain for a full year and
had been unable to communicate his problem before he died. I
discovered this when I found him previously, soon after his
death. It was easy for me to find the room where he had been
recuperating, but, as I half-expected, he was not there. The
room was empty. But I could reach out and touch the wall
with my hand. Why did I suddenly materialize my hand? The
wall was rough, like concrete or adobe. The father I knew
could not have built it. So either I didn't know my father as
well as I thought I did, or someone else created the room.
As I moved slowly out of the top of the small building,
my perception changed back to purely nonphysical. I was not
surprised that the H Band Noise wave was not far away. Later
I tried but failed to find where my father was. Had both he
and Charlie returned to the Earth Life System? Or had their
I-There retrievers picked them up? And what was this place
where both cabin and room stood empty since their departure?
As I felt before, it was too real for a belief system. My
curiosity was on the alert.
I made another run some days later into an adjacent area
that brought a similar result. I rediscovered the place where I
had found Agnew several months after he had crashed and
burned in his light aircraft while trying to land at a small Ohio
airport. It was at Agnew's funeral in North Carolina where a
vivid and hitherto unexplained event had happened. Just as
his casket was being lowered into the grave, a low-flying Twin
Beech aircraft flew over the site. It was exactly the same
model, with the same color and markings, as the one Agnew
had flown. It waggled its wings and flew off into the distance.
His widow broke into sobs and all of us who knew him were
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moved to tears. Later we checked all airports within a radius
of three hundred miles. There were no records of any Twin
Beech takeoffs or landings.
With this in mind, I was not optimistic that I would find
this creative type at the same nonphysical site. When I had
found him previously, soon after his death, he had been working
excitedly on something he couldn't explain to me. I was
right. This time the platform and rigging were there, but not
Agnew. I didn't try to locate him; there were too many possibilities.
Next I focused on where I had found Dick after his
death. He had been a good doctor and friend in my early days
in New York. When I had seen him, he had been in deep
conversation with several other men in a large room, and he
had simply given me a wave of acknowledgment. He had
looked half the age he was when he had died.
I reached this same large room with no problem. To my
surprise, it was not empty. Two normal-looking men in business
suits were standing by a table in casual conversation. I
approached them carefully.
"Excuse me, but could you give me any information
about Dick Gordon?"
They turned and stared at me wide-eyed. Then the taller
one spoke.
"I'm sorry, we weren't expecting you. Do you need to sit
down? Are you tired?"
"No, I'm fine. I only want . . ."
"Wait a moment, George," the second man interrupted.
"This one's different. Look!" They examined me intently.
George shook his head.
"You still have a living physical body?"
I hesitated. "Well, yes, I do. But . . ."
"And you know you're not dreaming?"
"Yes, I know. I'm trying to . . ."
"Amazing!" George reached out, grabbed my hand, and
shook it vigorously. "I've heard about people like you but
you're the first we've met! What about this, Fred?"
"But . . . exactly what is this place?"
It was Fred who replied. "This is a place where certain
people come when they've died. With a little help sometimes.
Most of them don't know it exists."
"What people?"
"Medical types. Physicians, surgeons, and so on."
"Why do they come here?"
"To calm down after the big change," George explained.
"They need it especially because they have been so locked in
to keeping patients alive. But they recover quickly in a familiar
environment. Look around."
I became aware that I was in a typical doctor's office—
waiting room, with chairs, coffee tables, and stacks of old
magazines. Through a glass window I could see the nurse's
desk and file cabinets. An inner office with desk and chairs
was visible through an open doorway, and on the far side of
this I glimpsed a room with examining table, scales, and other
equipment.
I turned to the two men. "Who put this together? Did
you?"
"We don't know," Fred replied. "It was here when we
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arrived. It's an artifact created simply to help the medical
mind adjust to the change. It's so familiar. That's why it
works."
"Are you the only ones here?"
"There are several hundred at least, just in the receiving
area. They are the ones that stay and help. They come and go
all the time."
I turned to George. "How did you get here?"
"Well, I was sitting in the Park, and Fred here came up
and sat beside me, and then . . . What's the matter? Are you
all right?"
He must have seen the shock on my face as the wave of
memory flowed into me. The Park! Years ago, I had arrived at
the Park. But how or why I got there I could not recall. There
had been a welcoming group of ten or twelve men and
women, who greeted me warmly and explained where I was.
It was a place to calm down in after the trauma of physical
death—a way station, for relaxation and decision as to what
to do next. The Park!
Finally I managed to speak. "I'm fine. Tell me . . .
where is this Park?"
It was Fred who answered. There was a softness in his
face as he looked at me.
"That is what you are looking for, isn't it?"
"I don't know. But I think it is."
He waved his arm at the door behind him. "Just go out,
turn left, and follow the path through the woods. It's not far."
I was deeply grateful. "Thank you—thank you both. I
may see you again, even if I'm not a doctor." George patted
my shoulder. "Come back when you get a
chance. If you find a lonely physician, bring him along too."
I went outside, turned left, and there indeed was a woods
with tall trees, most of them familiar to me. A path led
through an opening, and I followed it. Although I was eager
to hurry, I decided to remain walking. The feel of the leaves
and grass against the soles of my feet was much too good. My
feet were bare!
As I walked on, a gentle breeze touched my head and
chest. I could feel! Just as with my bare feet, I could feel. I
passed oaks, poplars, hickories, sycamores, chestnuts, pines,
and cedars, even an incongruous palm tree, and trees I never
knew existed. The scent of the blooms mixed with that of rich
loam was wonderful. I could smell!
And the birds—about half of them were species I had
never seen before! They were singing, chirping, calling, flying
from tree to tree and sweeping across my path. Hundreds of
them. And I could hear!
I walked more slowly in wonderment. My hand—yes,
my physical hand again—reached out and plucked a leaf from
the low branch of a maple. It felt alive and flexible. I put it in
my mouth and chewed. It was moist, and tasted exactly like
the maple leaves of my childhood.
Suddenly I knew what had happened—what was probably
still taking place. This was a human creation! Many of
those who walked this path created and added their own favorite
bird or tree to the woods. They were alive—living creations,
created by humans'. They were not the standard reproductive
mode followed in the Earth Life System, which is
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really not human-created but the idea and plan of Someone
else.
And all the rest of it behind me in my search was the
same, the product of a human mind-consciousness. The medical
haven, Agnew's rigging, my father's recuperation room,
and Charlie's cabin by the ocean. Charlie, I remembered, had
even demonstrated how he put it together!
All human creation! The Basic! I know of the existence of
our Creator, but are all of us really creators out of the same
mold? Is my Core Self I accepted so casually a minuscule
replica or clone of the Original? How far can we take this
only partially expressed idea?
As if to prove the point of reality, a large orange parrot
flew over my shoulder, chirped, and released a white dropping
in my hand as he passed. I laughed as I tested the warm
consistency of it between thumb and forefinger. It was certainly
real!
I walked on, wondering how many human-created animal
friends were in the woods, when I came to a bend in the
path and the trees ended.
Before me was the Park.
It was the same as when I had visited many years ago,
with winding walks, benches, flowers and shrubbery, different-
colored grass lawns, clusters of stately trees, small streams
and fountains, and with a warm sun overhead among small
cumulus clouds. The Park continued on a gently rolling terrain
as far as I could see. As I walked down the slope to the
nearest bench, I wondered what human mind or group of
humans put this together. It was a magnificent creation for a
lowly human. Yet I knew this was the way it had come into
existence. But I had not thought of such things on my previous
visit those years ago. Now I remembered—I knew—why
it was here.
A woman rose from the bench as I approached. She was
of medium height, slender, with large brown eyes and dark
brown, slightly wavy hair down to her shoulders. Her face
was smooth and lightly tanned, with features that seemed to
have touches of the Orient, the Middle East, and Europe. She
was wearing dark slacks and a hip-length jacket. Her age
might be anything between thirty-five and fifty. She was
familiar—
I had met her somewhere before.
She smiled and held out her hand.
"At last you are here! "Welcome back, Ashaneen."
Ashaneen—my name, remembered from another lifetime.
It told me a lot about her. I took her hand, which was
real enough to feel. She led me to the bench and we sat down.
Other people strolled by, all of them adults, wearing a variety
of clothing. Some glanced curiously at us . . . I wondered
why, until I realized there was a subtle difference they could
perceive between my appearance and theirs. I caught the
woman's eye and she smiled again. A half-memory floated in.
"This jacket you're wearing . . ."
"I was wearing it last time you were here. I thought it
might help you to remember."
I nodded, but my memory was hazy. She was among the
dozen people I met last time, that I was sure of.
I looked at her and saw that she was smiling. Could she
read my thoughts?
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"Yes, of course I can. And you can read mine."
"Who are you?"
"I am only the messenger. I am to tell you that you may
by all means bring people to us, those who are newly physically
dead. We will take care of them. That is why we are here.
And you may teach others to do this."
"How can I teach something that will seem so strange?"
"We are sure you can. Many of them are probably doing
it now. All you need to do is help them remember. It is a
wholly objective way to remove the fear of physical death."
"And let them know they do survive the death process."
"Certainly."
"Also it would help them become aware of the many
options they have."
"There are many even you have not considered,
Ashaneen. Or would you prefer we call you Robert?"
"Robert or Bob, please. My physical friends call me Bob.
The name Ashaneen might trouble them."
"Some may know you by the old name."
"I am becoming aware of that. And I'm trying to recall
your name. You are . . . the wife of . . . Ileon—yes,
Ileon!"
"Mate is a better word."
"You are . . . Nevisse."
"Good."
"Now, I need some help. The places I have visited, where
my friends were—they are simply extensions of here, are
they?"
"That is so. But if they have a strong belief, they will
follow that directive and go where that belief leads them.
There will be others of the same belief waiting to help them.
You let them go and leave them alone. That is where they
belong."
"But all this . . . this is not just another belief, is it?"
Nevisse laughed. "Not in the usual sense. There are no
beliefs involved, only experience. The design here is only to
provide a familiar surrounding to ease the anxiety."
"This place, then . . . ?"
"Is a creation that is here and will be here whatever your
beliefs. It will not disappear if you don't believe it exists."
"Who made it?"
"A human civilization many thousands of years ago.
They have been gone long since. Is there anything more you
need to know?"
"What about those who simply want—or need—to return
to what I have called their I-There? I'm sure you understand
what I mean."
"I do. That is the destination of most who depart from
here."
"So, when we bring people here, you calm them down
and give them the opportunity to consider what they want to
do next."
"That is so. We show them what opportunities do exist.
The Park is but a starting point. You will be astounded when
you see all of the little individual places that residents have
created."
"Are there rules?"
"Only one. No imposition of one will upon another."
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"Thank you for your help. I have much to do, it seems."
"You will find it easier than you think, Bob."
"This knowledge . . . of here, of where to go at death
. . . where to meet . . . this knowledge before the event
. . . it gives ultimate freedom!"
"It does. I see you are receiving a signal to return."
"Yes . . . There is so much more to learn here . . . But
I must go. I have one more question . . ."
"No need to ask. The creative processes whose results
you have observed are already known to us as human. And
your father did construct his own room."
"There was no need to ask. Ta na sen!"
"You have remembered. A goodbye phrase from one
hundred thousand years ago. Ta na sen!"
The return was easy and uneventful. I did indeed have much
to do!
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18
The New Direction
Now that I knew what had to be done, one further question
arose. How could I organize all that I had experienced
into such a shape that it could be absorbed and put into practice
by others? Not only that: how could those experiences,
which for me had stretched over years, be compressed into a
time-frame which others would find practical and appropriate?
This was not a process that could be established by trial
and error, for what we were shortly to be handling was, quite
literally, a matter of life and death. It had to be as nearly right
as possible the first time. And events in my personal life were
telling me that there was little time to spare.
But I was fortunate—or perhaps it was not good fortune
but the fulfillment or completion of a design begun more than
three decades ago when we first commenced research into
human consciousness. For at my disposal I had all the resources
of our Institute, which for many years had shown that
it was possible to bring individuals right up to that transitional
point between physical life and death and enable some of them
at least to see into the beyond. That our procedures
were safe and that our participants benefited enormously and
in so many ways had been proved beyond doubt.
My left brain told me that two things were needed. The
first was research into the frequencies of brain waves translated
into sound that would permit the individual mind-consciousness
to travel safely beyond the transitional point and to
return when the task was accomplished. The second was a
program that would be suitable and effective for the wide
variety of people who might be attracted by the prospect of
service to those no longer in physical existence. So, with my
closest colleagues, I set to work. The simplest thing was to
find a title for the program: Lifeline.
The first Lifeline program took place at the Institute during
the week beginning June 22, 1991. In the following fourteen
months, some two hundred people participated in the
six-day intensive learning process. Among those attending
were physicians, psychologists, engineers, researchers, business
executives, psychiatrists, writers, attorneys, educators,
therapists, musicians, and artists. All were graduates of at
least one previous Institute program, as this was a prerequisite
for attendance at Lifeline. Apart from that, they represented
widely divergent backgrounds, interests, lifestyles, and previous
experiences with the exploration of consciousness. Yet at
the end of each program almost all attested to their ability to
visit the Reception Center—the Park—and many also
acknowledged
that they now knew for certain that they would
survive the physical death process.
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I was indeed surprised. It was clear that the process could
be taught. Following the first session, I had reasoned that the
phenomena reported might possibly have been unique to that
particular group. The reports from the second session might,
again possibly, be coincidental. With the third session, however,
it really did seem as if the process was viable. Ten sessions
later, I do not see how there can be any doubt. We have
been able to accomplish what we set out to do.
Lifeline is designed to be effective without respect to any
specific belief held by the individual participant, and to instill
knowledge through direct experience. It is a "Know" system
and does not of itself negate any currently held beliefs, with
the possible exception of nihilism.
The program has certain goals. These are:
to release all fears related to the physical death process;
to establish a familiarity with different states of consciousness
until these states become Knowns instead of
beliefs;
to generate ongoing communication and relationships
with other Human Minds active in other states of consciousness;
to incorporate such acquired knowledge both consciously
and at the nonconscious level into physical life
thought, functions, and activity; to insure upon the cessation of
physical life existence,
for whatever reason, that such knowledgeable human
mind-consciousness will shift without interruption to
other forms of existence.
The means by which these goals are achieved is by development
and extension of the methods and techniques that
have been evolved and refined at the Institute over many
years. One of the hallmarks of these methods and techniques
is the use of the term "Focus level" to indicate and identify, in
a convenient and easily understood way, a particular state of
consciousness. Hitherto, programs had taken participants
through Focus 3 (mind-brain synchrony), Focus 10 (mind
awake and alert, body asleep), Focus 12 (state of expanded
awareness), Focus 15 (state of no time), to Focus 21 (the edge
of time-space where it is possible to contact other energy systems).
Now, in pursuit of the program's theme of service to
those who have died, it was necessary to venture beyond.
To help our participants, we needed to identify in a similar
way those states beyond 21 to which they would be introduced
and where they would be able to act calmly and objectively.
We did so as follows:
Focus 22. Where humans still in physical existence have only
partial consciousness. In this state would be those suffering
from delirium, from chemical dependency or alcoholism, or
from dementia. It would also include patients who were anesthetized
or comatose. Experiences here might be remembered
as dreams or hallucinations.
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Focus 23. A level inhabited by those who have recently left
physical existence but who either have not been able to recognize
and accept this or are unable to free themselves from the
ties of the Earth Life System. It includes those from all periods
of time.
Focus 24-26. This covers the Belief System Territories, occupied
by nonphysical humans from all periods and areas who
have accepted and subscribed to various premises and concepts.
These would include religious and philosophical beliefs
that postulate some form of post-physical existence.
Focus 27. Here is the site of what we may call the Reception
Center or the Park, which is the hub of it. This is an artificial
synthesis created by human minds, a way station designed to
ease the trauma and shock of the transition out of physical
reality. It takes on the form of various earth environments in
order to be acceptable to the enormously wide variety of newcomers.
Focus 28. Beyond not only time-space but human thought.
Residence in 28 or beyond limits any return to a physical
human body.
Those who are trained in the Lifeline system become familiar
and comfortable with these different states. Each individual
is invited to create his own personal and special place
within Focus 27, a place to which he may return at will. The
forms that these places take are as varied and unique as the
.participants themselves, ranging for example from log cabins
by quiet streams to clumps of trees, South Sea islands, palaces
of crystal, and corners of one's heart. Return to one's place in
Focus 27 is facilitated by the use of a personal identification
signal code, a self-chosen symbol or representation which the
individual creates and installs. It functions as a kind of resonant
homing device to guide the individual back.
Once participants are familiar with the range of Focus
levels they are advised how to assist those no longer in physical
existence who need help. They phase gradually into Focus
27 and there they may ask for help and guidance for themselves.
Then they return to Focus 23, sometimes accompanied
by a guide or helper, where they may be attracted to a situation
in which their assistance is needed in order for someone
to move onward. It may be that the someone refuses to accept
the fact of his or her physical death, or is unwilling to let go
owing to some perceived gain from continuing to be attached
to the physical. The participant seeks to communicate with
this individual, encouraging him to release and move onward.
If this encouragement is successful, as it often is, the two,
perhaps accompanied by the guide, move together toward Focus
27. On the way, some individuals will slip away into the
Belief System Territories of Focus 24-26, where they will be
welcomed by those of their own particular creed or faith.
Others will continue to the Reception Center in Focus 27,
where they may be greeted by loved ones no longer in physical
existence. Here they have the opportunity to be counseled as
to the next step to take along the path to growth.
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With regard to this next step, several options are available
to the new arrivals, among them the following:
reunion with loved ones who have previously made the
transition;
communication with those who are still alive in the physical
state;
renewal of contact and return to the Original Self (the
I-There);
return to experience another Earth human life;
meeting and discussion with those of the same belief,
which may involve departure to that Belief System Territory;
assuming temporarily the "retrieving" role; .
assuming physical life activity in other forms (nonhuman)
at other sites (elsewhere in this universe);
participating in studies and exploration of other phases
of the Consciousness Continuum.
When the decision is made, the individual is free to move
along the chosen path.
One further element in the process needs to be mentioned.
Lifeline participants are encouraged to seek as much
information as they can from the subjects of their retrievals By this
are meant personal details, such as name, age, address
or state or country of origin, date and cause of death (road
accident, illness, natural disaster, warfare, and so on), occupation,
and any other details that may seem relevant. Communication
is generally nonverbal and often by means of a ROTe
—a ball of thought.
Where the information received is sufficiently full, it is
passed later to the Lifeline Research Department, which sets a
process of verification or validation in motion. In most instances
it has not so far proved possible to obtain enough of
this kind of information to make the effort worthwhile; this
type of formal questioning is often inappropriate to the circumstances
of the retrieval. But on a few occasions enough
information has become available for secure verification to be
made: a person of that name, age, and place died in that
manner at that time. For most participants this does not matter;
they are so convinced of the reality of the process that
they are not concerned about this kind of checking. The Institute,
however, feels that it is important for this to happen,
although once twenty or thirty instances have been verified
there would seem little purpose in looking for more.
Participants in the program sometimes make contact in
Focus 23 with someone they recognize, a relative or friend
who died recently and who recognizes them also. When this
happens, there is a noticeable difference in the "feeling" of the
encounter, much like the difference between walking into a
room of strangers and walking into a room where one is surprised
to find a sister or brother. Recognition is immediate
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and there is a heightening of the energy in the exchanges
which follow. More often the participants are drawn to someone
whom they have never met before. It may be someone
from a different culture or epoch of time, of any age, color, or
creed.
What surprises many participants, however, is that while
they are engaged in their mission they discover that at the
same time they are retrieving lost parts of themselves. These
may appear as past-life selves who remained in Focus 23.
Some are found who settled in the Belief System Territories of
Focus 24-26 and who had begun, through gradual doubt of
the beliefs they once had held, to "fall through the cracks," as
it were, of that particular system. Others may appear as fragments
of current life personalities, aspects which had fled or
been torn away from the Core Self; for example, child selves
who had escaped from the trauma and pain of physical or
emotional abuse in their families and now seek to be reunited.
The guidance that may be requested in Focus 27
manifests, according to our participants, in many different
forms. It may appear externally or sensed internally; it may be
constant through all the experiences or may change from time
to time. Reports include mention of "a glowing white shape,"
an individual called "Sam," a hooded figure who revealed
himself as a famous film star, a little dog, the color blue, a
human hand, and voices saying "we are here." Some participants
do not see guidance as separate from themselves in any
way; "guidance and I are one," as one report says.
At this point I must make it clear that a very large num- ber accept
their transition without difficulty and are not to be
found in Focus 23. This number includes those who have
prepared themselves beforehand, or been prepared by others,
so that they may easily sever their ties with the Earth Life
System, as well as those who are strongly fortified by their
beliefs. They move past Focus 23 of their own accord, to
Focus 24-26, 27, or beyond.
The denizens of Focus 23 vary as much as humanity itself.
Setting aside those who are known to their "retrievers,"
they are reported as originating from anywhere in the world.
A few have been "waiting" for two or three centuries or more,
but most have left physical existence quite recently, during the
last twenty or thirty years. Many of them were victims of
accidents or natural or man-made disasters, and sudden
deaths figure frequently. For the most part they are ready and
willing to leave, although some show concern about loved
ones, relatives, or comrades and refuse to depart until they are
reunited or reassured.
Reports by participants of those they have encountered
include mentions of several youngsters killed in road accidents,
a forty-five-year-old man who choked on food, a classical
pianist from Prague who died from AIDS-related complications,
a mother and two children from Cambodia who
stepped on a mine, a number of babies from the Nigerian
province of Biafra who starved to death, a soldier killed in the
Gulf War, a stillborn baby from Milwaukee, and a teenage
girl who overdosed on pills. In some instances much detailed
information is gathered: one participant came across a
woman born March 22, 1922, died in Ogden, Utah, March
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15, 1972, who gave her own name, her husband's, and the
names of her three children. Another example is the pianist
from Prague mentioned above, who disclosed his name and
age, twenty-eight, that he lived with his parents, studied at the
Conservatoire in Paris, and died in a hospital. A third involves
a fifty-seven-year-old female graphic designer (name given)
who died in December 1991 of cardiac arrest during bypass
surgery at a hospital in Scottsdale, Arizona.
During the retrieval process participants have no sense of
fear and generally are unaffected by emotion. Exceptions to
the latter may occur when contact is made with a relative or
loved one, or with what the participant realizes is a lost part
of himself. The following extract from a report illustrates this:
"During an experience, I found a small boy three years old
in a pool of light in Focus 23. There were no other people
visible except for this young boy. I felt such emotion, anguish,
and pain at seeing this small child. When I went to
take him up, my guide told me that all the emotion was not
necessary. After the guide and I took the child up, I felt a
sense of completion and on some level a sense of homecoming,
as if another piece of me was at rest now. When the child
was led away by those who would 'process' him, I knew he
would be cared for and that everything was absolutely as it
should be. After the tape experience I felt that things indeed
had shifted round. I'm slowly becoming all of who I am."
(John A. Baylor, Virginia Beach)
Often it is when the participant returns to normal consciousness
at the end of the experience that the emotions flood in. There may be a
delayed response to the shock of meeting a
loved one whom you might have thought never to have seen
again, or to the sadness and desperation of some of those in
Focus 23. But as you become more accustomed to the process,
the more natural it seems to be. That this young child was
killed in a road accident, or that mother died leaving two
young children, becomes somehow acceptable, and the reports
contain very few references to misery or tragedy. In
Focus 27, all will be as it should be, and the only emotion is
love.
As I had discovered previously, those who had met with
disabling accidents or illnesses, who had been injured or
maimed in some way, recovered their wholeness when they
arrived in Focus 27. One report referred to a man whose
mother had been prescribed the drug thalidomide during
pregnancy and who had been born with only the vestiges of
legs. He had lived for nearly thirty-five years—he was
English
and the drug had been introduced into England in 1958. In
Focus 23 he was still deformed; in 27, where he was welcomed
by his mother, he was whole and fit, as he had never
been in physical life.
Not all those who are brought out of Focus 23 do arrive
at 27—at least, not immediately. Some move into the Belief
System Territories and others may simply disappear. Perhaps
they find that their connections with Earth are not yet broken,
or that they have not yet reached full acceptance of their state.
One participant reported encountering a girl who had died in
childbirth. She conveyed to him that her baby had died and
she had to stay to take care of it. Another account referred to
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an African boy aged nine, who starved to death in the desert
in October 1990. He would not leave Focus 23 until he had
found his three younger brothers and his two-year-old sister,
who had predeceased him. On occasions the participant may
return and find the reluctant traveler more willing at the second
attempt, although this happens rarely.
What we could not predict at all was how the participants
themselves would react to the Lifeline experience. We
felt it was very unlikely that there would be any adverse effects,
especially as all participants were well versed in the
Institute's methods, having attended one or usually more
courses previously. How they did react is best told in their
own words.
"The program as presented was excellent for me because I
was led to realize how limiting belief systems are and how
enclosed we are in them—mostly without our prior conscious
knowledge. It has been a week of growth and expanding for
me in many areas. The very thin phase between what we
know as reality now, here, and there becomes apparent. Life
as a whole has begun to take on a different perspective."
(M. D. Roy, Washington)
"The most important learning that took place for me in
Lifeline was the realization that I see aspects of myself in
others, and the acceptance and subsequent embracing of
those aspects, both positive and negative, is the retrieval process
for me. I feel that unification of my total self is taking
place in this manner." (M.R., Maine) "[The most important thing I
learned was] the experienced
objective reality of the imaginal realm, which I had 'believed'
was only a metaphor for personal issues in need of integration.
The several retrievals were so unexpected and palpable
they have forced an opening through experience (I always
thought and behaved as if they were real) into other realities.
Because this happened in the context of getting my mother
into 27 and cutting the shroud-like bonds to her and my
belief systems, it has been wonderfully disencumbering and
gives me a keen awareness of parallel modes of processing of
parallel consciousness. Issues of death and beyond feel very
comfortable now." (S.B.P., New York)
"I learned that 'rescue and retrieval' is not necessarily
about performing a service to others, but rather about performing
a service for ourselves, thus performing for others as
well." (K.L., Albuquerque)
"Never before had I felt like I had handled my mother's
death. This week has truly freed me from my emotions surrounding
this loss and I believe it has freed her."
(S.C., Alaska)
"A piece of me now exists in Focus 27. There's no more
question in my mind where I will go when I die and what I
will be doing the rest of my life." (Bill Oakes, Oregon)
"The 'other side,' as it were, does not have to be perceived
as a strange, eerie place beyond imagination, for it is just a
phase away. A shift of perception along with a subtle awareness
is all that is needed." (E.A., California)
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"I have a new realization of truly being part of a whole."
(K.S.C., Paris, France)
"I have learned that we can be of service beyond this reality
and in this reality using psychic gifts."
(C.S.Q., Seville, Spain)
One participant expressed very clearly how she had assimilated
the experience, although during the week she did
not retrieve any "others" from Focus 23:
"Perhaps because I believe that one cannot give meaningful
guidance without being balanced and whole oneself, I
viewed that Lifeline process of retrieval as reuniting with aspects
of my Total Self to which, for one reason or another, I
had no conscious access. These aspects would include past
lives or simply powerful emotional thought forms that were
keeping some of my energy blocked and limiting my awareness.
The definition of the three levels beyond Focus 21 was
highly suitable to this application, whereby Focus 22 and 23
were a reflection of any type of turmoil, Focus 24 and 25
were the source of the belief system or misinformation on
which the confusion was based, and then Focus 27 provided
the pure clear light of one's essence. By going to Focus 27
first and reclaiming my own light, I was more able to face my
own darkness than ever before. I feel a new sense of completion,
peace, and harmony. And maybe next time I'll resonate
in sufficient balance to help others who are lost in chaotic
thought forms and darkness." (Judith Taylor, New Jersey)
259
The Institute has a growing file of participants' accounts
of their retrieval experiences. These are not confined to instances
during the programs. Many find that when they return
home they are able to continue with the process, usually during
sleep. And there are some who were involved in the process
before joining the program—and there may be many
more who have also been involved but do not remember.
These accounts make a fascinating collection, much of it
highly poignant and moving. Outside the context of the program
itself, many of the reports may seem to stretch into the
realms of fantasy. But it is impossible to convince those who
experienced these events that they were anything but absolutely
real.
The following extract from the files comes from a participant
in one of the earliest programs:
"I picked up my helper in Focus 27 and went to 23 to
wait. Just when I was about to give up finding anyone, a little
Irish lady looked up at me and said, 'Wait . . . wait! Don't
you go back without me!' She immediately jumped into my
vehicle (a double pyramid emerald) and talked all the way to
27. When we arrived and stepped out into the Park she told
me her name was Elizabeth McGowan (or McCowan). She
was well aware that her physical life was over and she had
been waiting for me to take her to her husband and daughter,
who were already in 27 to meet her when she arrived. She
said she was from County Cork, and corrected me when I
referred to it as Cork County. Her death occurred in 1919
and she had been a seamstress. Her husband was Richard
and her daughter, who appeared to be about thirteen,
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was Amy. Before I could find out any more, they all disappeared.
"I was trying to decide what to do next when my father
appeared. This was unexpected and very emotional for me,
as he and I had not resolved a lot of issues when he died in
1985. He had spent eight years drinking heavily after my
mother died. I tried to support him as best I could for five
years, but felt he was going to destroy me. I had no contact
with him for the last three years of his life.
"When he appeared I went through a range of emotions,
the strongest being love, guilt, and sadness that I could not
stay with him. He did, however, give me a gift. When I asked
if we could stay together, he replied, 'I love you, but you need
to remember why you came here, and never forget your focus.'
At this point, Bob told us to leave 27. I left with very
mixed emotions, but realized that my father had given me
forgiveness, freedom, and love. What more could I ask for?"
(Jim Greene, Arlington, Virginia)
Another file report demonstrates a fascinating connection
between events in Focus 23-27 and an episode in the
participant's earlier life when he was a hospital intern.
"In my first attempt at retrieving I met a little girl at Focus
23 who was about eleven years old. She said she had recently
died of leukemia at a hospital in Ohio. I explained to her that
I was there to help her in her transition to another level. She
seemed to understand and trust me, and she stretched out her
arms to reach toward me. I did the same, and as we hugged I
suddenly experienced an overwhelming feeling of love that
engulfed my whole body. It was a feeling I have experienced
only a few treasured times in my life.
"Soon we were travelling, moving toward Focus 27. As I
hugged her again and said goodbye at 27, this feeling of love
returned for a few brief moments.
"I never checked to see if the name and address she gave
me were real. The experience was real and meaningful beyond
measure. I understood shortly thereafter that I had been
given the opportunity to complete an episode in my life
which had been unresolved for twenty-five years. It began
when I was a medical student. I had befriended a little girl
with leukemia. She was in and out of the hospital repeatedly
during the three years I knew her.
"At the end of one very busy Sunday afternoon during my
pediatric internship, I was writing orders in charts when she
came in and asked if she could talk to me. I told her I
couldn't at the moment because I was busy, but maybe later.
She went back to her room alone.
"But she could not wait for me. Shortly thereafter, one of
the nurses came to tell me that the little girl had been found
lying in her bed in her room. She was dead. Had I taken just a
few moments, I could have helped her in the transition that
she knew was coming.
"Finally, twenty-five years later, I was given another opportunity."
(A. L. Dablberg, M.D., Ph.D., Providence, Rhode Island)
The next report is taken from the transcript of a tape
made not in the Lifeline course itself but during a laboratory
session.
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Ultimate Journey
"It's nighttime and I'm in a boat, approaching a rocky
coast—it might be the west coast of Ireland, or Cornwall.
The rocks are tall and upright, with water slapping against
them. I might be just above the boat. Ahead there is a cleft or
shaft in the rocks. I'm going into this—I'm not afraid. The
walls are black with wetness shining on them. I'm turning
into a tunnel or narrow cave . . . now I'm in a cave . . .
there's light reflected off the rocks so that I can see . . . I'm
going down—there's a fissure in the roof above . . . There's
the little dog that I've seen before . . .
"I've come through a long, narrow tunnel, so narrow—
how could anyone get through here? Now I'm being shown
what it's like to have the weight of a rock on my chest—
it doesn't hurt but it's as though a big piece of rock is
lying across me. It's showing me what someone would experience
if a mine shaft or something like that collapsed on
them . . .
"Energy is pouring in . . . I must relax . . . I'm being
shown what it's like to be trapped in a confined space deep
inside a rock formation . . . It feels as if someone is holding
my left hand . . . there may be somebody there, if I can
reach him . . . Yes, his name is Gregory—he's coming loose
from a place he's been stuck in, low down to my left in the
rocks. He's sliding out—he's very relieved to come out. He
didn't think that anyone would find him . . . He's thirtyone
years old . . .
"I feel he was climbing on the rocks and the tide came in.
He found the opening, like I did, and went down. I feel that
because I was shown the compression of rock—the
weight—
that there must have been a rockfall and he was trapped.
"He's still holding my hand. I'm trying to find out . . .
263
Black—is that his surname? He wants a hug—he's been
there
a long time . . . since 1948 . . .
"What shall I do? Take him to the Center? But how do I
know . . . ? Fix the idea of the Center in my mind, extend
for it. He'll be comfortable there and looked after—he
understands.
"He's leading me now. He knows where to go. I tell him I
love him and he's free to go . . . he's moving away
now . . .
"I'm being taken to a more comfortable place . . . It's
strange—when I asked to be moved after Gregory had left I
picked up on the fear he'd experienced when he entered the
cave . . . when he died. It was as though his fear had permeated
the rocks, and after he left the fear left also—I felt it
brush past me, as if I were in its slipstream . . . Now it's
time for me to return . . ."
(Jill Russell, Cambridge, England)
264
19
Taking Timeout
The Variable, my wife Nancy's illness, seemed under
control for the moment. It had indeed forced a new direction,
the beginning of a close understanding of the effect of perhaps
the greatest Variable each human mind-consciousness must
face—the transition from physical life to another energy
system
we label death. It was astounding that I had passed over it
so casually.
I wonder about the Signal that I may have brought back
with me from my exploration. If it is there, I cannot perceive
any result. Did the thousands of human I-There units bonded
to our cluster receive the Signal? I am sure some in my own
I-There will know. At least it will be fun playing the INSPEC
role.
Yet all of this slipped into the background.
265
A Song for the Unsung
It was the end of hospital visiting hours. In Nancy's room, I
bent over and kissed her forehead. "Are you sleepy?"
"Mmmmmm."
"You look better tonight."
"Mmmmm. I'm fine."
"Want to go play later?"
"In, in 27?"
"For starters."
"Mmmm, yes."
"I'll see you later."
"I love you."
"I love you!"
At around eight in the evening, we received an urgent call
from the hospital, and were at her bedside by nine. It had been
extremely devastating for me to visit her in the hospital before
this for several reasons.
Now it was different. Her arms and hands were limp and
cold, and she was breathing in short, deep gasps followed by a
long pause. But it was looking into her unblinking eyes that
told me. Nancy was no longer there. At twelve-fifteen in the
morning, her body finally stopped breathing.
Later, the Lifeline team reported they had taken her to 27
sometime between seven-thirty and eight, and that she was
safe and warmly greeted there. This was approximately the
time the hospital noted the beginning of her terminal breathing
(the medical people call it Cbene-Stokes). It was later that
I realized such breathing was familiar to me. It was the same
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Ultimate Journey
breathing that I heard when the old man was dying in the St.
Louis flophouse back when I was a vagrant teenager. The
same breathing I heard when my favorite cabin cat Fusby died
of leukemia while lying in my arms, three days before Nancy's
exit.
I was shocked how unprepared I truly was. The biggest
glitch/Variable in my life, I saw it coming, plenty of portents,
all the backup experience, and still . . .
Hundreds, no, thousands knew/know her for the bright,
warm and joyful personality that she was/is. Nancy Penn
Monroe.
Her ancestry went back to a Virginia family in the years
before the American Revolution, living on land granted to
them by the King of England. Her upbringing led her to live
the life of a Southern Lady in its most gracious form: always
thinking of others first, always a smile with her greeting, always
refusing to bring hurt to others in any form, always
giving of herself. There never was/is any hate in her for anyone.
In reality, she truly was/is the co-founder of The Monroe
Institute. Were it not for her, there probably would not have
been any such organization. She participated in all major and
minor discussions and decisions, activities, and even research.
Thus her thoughts are sprinkled through everything that the
Institute has produced and represents—the programs, the
tapes, the public policy, and certainly the many friends worldwide.
We had known each other in a casual social manner for
seven years, and had been married for twenty-three. Even be- fore we
met, Nancy had a deep interest in the paranormal. She
also had been a schoolteacher, music and piano teacher, an
interior decorator, real estate manager, and was raising four
children. She had commenced writing on two books, one a
modern version of Scarlett O'Hara, the other a post-physical
story about "The City Not Made with Hands." Both remain
unfinished, in spite of a waiting typewriter and word processor.
She didn't have time.
It is impossible to be at the Institute without encountering
the result of her thoughts. As you enter, the bushes and
flowers around the gatehouse are her selection. The interior
design of the building itself is her adaptation of a plan started
by others. As you start up the hill, the tall row of trees on the
right is there because of her idea. At the Center itself, all of the
trees and shrubbery were selected and placed by her.
Inside all three buildings, most of what you see is Nancy
Penn Monroe. The carpets, the walls, the fixtures, the tables
and chairs, the plates, the silverware, the mugs, even the napkins.
In the East Wing of the Center, the Club Dining Room
was/is in its entirety the latest of her creative efforts.
So now the main building has a new name: The Nancy
Penn Center. She was too self-effacing to permit it before this
moment.
Where is she now?
To make a very long story very short, when she developed
breast cancer, Nancy accepted the orthodox route for
treatment. This meant surgery to remove the tumor and a
number of lymph nodes, chemotherapy, and radiation. Each
slowed up the process but no more.
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Ultimate Journey
Two nights after her departure, I thought I had cooled
down enough to attempt to visit her. Which I did. The result
was an emotional explosion that included every nuance existing
between two humans deeply in love, all up-front and
simultaneous, without the limitations of time and physical
matter. It was a great effort to return, and it took days to
recover.
A second attempt a week later brought the same result. It
was simply too much to handle. Until I learned more, I had to
put up a shield that restricts any kind of nonphysical activity
on my part. No more Interstate pro tem or contacts with
friends in that area. Only the I-There of me. I begin to drift in
Nancy's direction even in the deepest sleep, so the barrier had
to include this state too. Thus my rest is greatly impaired.
I now have a new challenge, a massive adjustment to
make. One I hadn't considered. A very new direction. Can I
live in two worlds at the same time? With Nancy in 27, and
Here with our lonely fur family—seven cats and two
dogs—in
a lonely house?
I don't know.
* * *
. . . Still, another voice from my I-There insists:
Once the transition is made, only the heavily addicted
remain closely attached to the physical life they have just departed,
according to your data and others. For most, the
resonance/interest/attachment begins to fade almost immediately,
some slowly, some rapidly. But it does. All of your data show this,
except for the rare "ghost" application. Even with
your Big L as binding as it is.
How long will your Silver Queen lady remain in and
around your Focus 27? You don't know and we don't know.
Like all of the others, she is exposed to attractive freedoms
you of all humans are very aware of. But you can't leave here.
Not at this time; you have too many things to complete. Remember
your mother and her cello? She taught you something
without even knowing that she did.
And don't forget: at the very least, you know that your
Silver Queen will be with you at final departure when we
wink out in the thirty-fifth century.
What more do you want!
270
Glossary
Animal Sub-Self All human communication, inward and out, is
filtered and distorted by the predator and physical survival drives,
which I think of as ASS—Animal Sub-Self—brought
about by existence
in the Earth Life System.
Aperture Entry point into the beyond, the source of the creative
force that organized our physical universe.
Baseline The operating level of the mind at any point of growth
according to active Knowns, Unknowns, and Beliefs contained
therein.
Basic In developing a Different Overview, the knowledge and application
of certain Basics are essential. A key Basic, for instance,
would be the knowledge that you are more than your physical body
and that you do survive physical death. Such Basics must be absolute
Knowns, not just beliefs, to complete the growth. If one or
more of the key Basics is missing, the development is inhibited.
Belief A mental-emotional mind-set containing a mixture of
Knowns and Unknowns in various percentiles. Belief system A belief that
is prevalent in more than one human.
The greater the number holding to a belief, the more powerful the
system.
Belief System Territories Parts of the (M) Field spectrum adjacent
to the Earth Life System where many Human Minds reside after
completing physical life experiences. Each is attracted to a particular
segment in accordance with a deep attachment made during the
life just finished to a seemingly powerful belief.
Beyond Indefinable in current human thought.
Core Self The original (M) Field energy vortex of each living physical
being.
Different Overview The gathering of knowledge minus the glitter
of beliefs and animal commands.
Earth Life System The organized area of time-space that we inhabit.
Emitter The opening in the beyond, through which (M) Field energy
radiates that organized and operates our Earth Life System and
the physical universe.
EXCOM The Executive Committee of our I-There (IT), emerging
from the many life personalities that each of us contain.
H Band The wave of disorganized human thought modulation of
(M) Field energy.
Hemi-Sync The trade name for an audio wave system developed
by The Monroe Institute over the past thirty years. Listening to
these wave systems on tape helps bring synchronization of electrical
brain wave forms between the two hemispheres of the human brain.
272
Glossary
Specific sound patterns help the listener achieve various states of
consciousness that may be desired.
Hologram These are commonly products of intersecting light rays
which form a visible image in an empty area. The theory put forth
herein is that (M) Field energy may be performing the same process
in a far more sophisticated manner to create time-space and our
Earth Life System.
Home Our individual point of entry into the (M) Field and/or
time-space.
Human Mind What we are, individually and collectively.
INSPEC Acronym for Intelligent Species, one presumed greater
than the human version.
Interstate A play on a familiar term in the American road system.
Here it is used to indicate a route to follow from one stage of
consciousness to another, both within time-space and along the
seemingly endless energy spectrum of the (M) Field.
IT The I-There that each of us has, containing all previous and
present life personalities.
Known What has become an absolute fact to an individual, but
not necessarily to the culture. Generally speaking, it should take at
least three or more verifications to produce a Known. When this
testing is completed, the Known can be added into Overview thinking.
KT-95 Arbitrary label given by the writer to his original Home
outside our solar system. Last Timer ring Located in the outermost area
of human influence
in the (M) Fields it is here that many who have experienced numerous
Earth life sojourns retire momentarily. Knowing they have decided
to take only one more run as a human, and with the broad life
experience they have in their possession, each enters a moment of
contemplation. Each then decides what and when that final Earth
life will be.
Left brain Current cultural designation of the intellectual, logical,
and rational segment of our conventional thought processes.
LIFE In the context used herein rather than the Webster definition:
Layered Intelligence-Forming Energy.
(M) Field Nonphysical energy field that permeates time-space including
our Earth Life System, but is not a part of current human
scientific knowledge or study.
New direction This indicated that the writer-explorer would be
active in an entirely different area, one that was essential but
ignored.
The discovery of the IT (I-There) was the Basic, the penetration
to the edge of the beyond was the fulfillment, both new and
unexpected.
Nonhuman Intelligences That they do exist is a Known to the
writer. How many there are, no one knows. How many different
species there are, no one really knows. Some apparently are from
the same galaxy as we are. Others seem to be from other energy
systems and times. There are even those that suggest the possibility
that they once were human. All have certain elements in common:
they know far more about (M) Field energy than we do, they have
scarcely any interest in who and what we are, and finally, communi-
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Glossary
cation with them is almost an impossibility because we don't understand
their methods of doing so.
OBE Acronym for out-of-body experience, where the major portion
of conscious awareness is active outside the limitations of the
physical body.
Phasing A method of measuring the percentile of the Human
Mind directly involved in physical matter at any point of mental/
physical activity. The purpose is to demonstrate the flickering of our
consciousness between Here and There with very little awareness
and control on our part.
Quick-switch A faster method of moving human consciousness
from one location to another without time-space limitations. Take
your consciousness and stretch it like a rubber band to your
destination:
then let go of it where you are and you snap to a new site. This
must begin in a state of consciousness focused away from the physical
body, and it does take practice.
Right brain That portion of our mind-consciousness that emanates
from our Core Self which was present when we began the
human experience.
ROTE Acronym for Related Organized Thought Energy, transmitted
from one mind to another. A mental book or recording,
complete with emotional and sensory patterns.
There The (M) Field energy spectrum in nonphysical form separate
from time-space.
Time-space No change in the standard meaning, i.e., our physical
universe. However, it may help to illustrate how very small our domain
is relative to the great mass of energy systems that do not fit
this category.
Unknown That of which nothing is really known: the ultimate in
this category is a phenomenon that has no historical data, and is not
repeated or repeatable. All fear is generated by Unknowns.
Uplink The means by which an information source transmits to a
receiver which either stores or utilizes the data provided. A system
in common practice in our cultural communication network. In this
context, it is the nonconscious and constant transfer of life
experience
from the physical organism into the memory bank of our
I-There (IT).
Variable As utilized in Ultimate Journey, it is a change that occurs
in an individual life experience that was not planned or necessarily
foreseen. In many cases, such a change may pass unnoticed until the
effects thereof accumulate to massive proportions and force a response.
Immediate and strong Variables that force attention and
action might be labeled by some as glitches, caused by good or bad
luck or simply fate. Examples: reading a book that changes your
life; winning a major lottery; a career change; moving to a different
area.
276
The Monroe Institute
The Monroe Institute had its origin in the Research and Development
Division of a family-owned corporation whose specialty
was the production of radio network programs. In the mid-1950s
we had begun investigating methods of accelerated learning during
sleep through the use of sound patterns. By 1968 we had developed
means by which sound could be used not only to keep the mind
awake and concentrating but also to induce sleep. Then a discovery
in that year changed the entire direction of investigation: that
certain
patterns of sound will induce distinct states of consciousness
not ordinarily available to the human mind.
In 1971 The Monroe Institute was created out of the R & d
Division to supplement the research effort. In 1976 the Esalen
organization
invited the Institute to run a workshop demonstrating its
methodology at Big Sur, California. Other workshops followed,
and an Educational Division was created to develop and administer
learning programs. In 1979 the Institute moved to its present premises
in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains, Virginia. Here a
residential center (now known as the Nancy Penn Center), research
laboratory, lecture hall, and seminar rooms were designed
specifi- cally to enhance the unique learning process that
had been developed.
Each participant is assigned a private and personal CHEC
unit (Controlled Holistic Environmental Chamber) where the actual
learning process takes place.
By 1993 over seven thousand people had experienced the
evolving program, known as the Gateway Voyage. Programs and
workshops are also organized at locations throughout the United
States and in other countries around the world. In-home study
courses are also available, using training manuals and albums of
audiotapes and compact discs.
The Gateway Voyage
This six-day program is a step-by-step absorption of phase-shifting
methods related to human consciousness. The purpose is, in the first
instance, to help the participant release inherent fears through
exploration
of self and environment by converting Unknowns into
Knowns. Once this is achieved, the student is free to evoke controlled
phase shifts into other states of consciousness among other
nonphysical energy systems.
For the sake of convenience and mutual understanding, the
term "Focus" with an appropriate number is used to denote
the different stages or states of consciousness that participants
move into during the learning process. These stages are defined as
follows:
Focus 10. The first step in separation of human mind-consciousness
from physical matter reality. A simplistic definition is "mind awake
and alert, body asleep." The mind is slightly out-of-phase with normal
physical wakefulness. It is a stage where all five physical senses
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Ultimate Journey
seem detuned or reduced in strength and is the beginning of objective
perception in (M) Field energy.
Perhaps the first major discovery in Focus 10 is that human
mind-consciousness can operate, think, reason, "feel" without the
strong physical sensory input signals previously deemed necessary.
Hence a new kind of freedom is born. The key implication is that
one is indeed "more" than the physical body, that one can exist
with or without it.
Focus 12. This may be loosely identified as a state of expanded
awareness. Induced by additional sound patterns, Focus 12 is a
phase state with still less attention to the physical body and more
movement into (M) Field energy. With the continued lessening of
physical sensory input, perception of (M) Field patterns becomes
progressively clearer.
It is not unfamiliar territory. In physical waking consciousness,
the overwhelming sensory input from the physical body covers
over most, if not all, of such perception. The only penetration usually
occurs during sleep or other states where human physical consciousness
has been abandoned. The difference in Focus 12 lies in
the fact that physical consciousness remains active and alert, under
your own control.
In early exploration, colors, shapes, mental pictures both still
and moving may appear—the stuff that dreams are made of. As
the
mind takes charge and begins to learn the (M) Field language, as it
were, an entirely new vista is opened, waiting to be experienced and
assessed. Unknowns become Knowns at a rapid rate in this new
context.
279
Focus 15. This marks another step in the phase relationship, with a
smaller percentage of attention in physical matter and more in the
(M) Field. The concept, or illusion, of time is dropped from the
pattern; thus Focus 15 may be identified as a state of "no time."
Focus 21. This state is the equivalent of deep (delta) sleep in
ordinary
physical life activity. However, the mind is fully "awake" and
conscious, directing the action. Focus 21 seems to be the maximum
range of comfortable phase relationship between time-space and
(M) Field participation, the "edge" as it were.
From Focus 21 it may be possible to verify individually at a
personal level the contents and concepts included in this volume.
* * *
Special programs for Gateway graduates only are held at the
Institute Center. These consist principally of additional training
in mind phase shifting, in order to explore more deeply
both the personal self and the far reaches of other reality
systems.
Guidelines
A week-long intensive course where the exploration of self is the
major thrust. It is a turning inward to meet, know, and understand
the relationship between the conscious I and the Core Self (the "Inner
Self Helper"), and the many personalities that compose the single
individual. Learning exercises are included for controlled out-ofbody
work and self-healing.
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Ultimate Journey
Lifeline
See Chapter 18.
Exploration 27
For graduates of Lifeline, Exploration 27 offers a systematic series
of planned visits to Focus 27 in order to obtain information, data,
and direct experience beyond what is explored in the Lifeline program.
Participants also learn to access new states of consciousness
(Focus 34/35), identified as the area of the "Gathering" in Monroe's
Far Journeys.
Heartline
The goal of this newest residential program is to provide opportunities
for participants to open to the greatest energy of all, Universal
Love. Principles are introduced which are directed toward expediting
the growth and empowerment of participants whose conscious
intent is to know, and to express, the full potential of love as a
richly integrated part of their daily lives.
The Timeout Project
Timeout is a major expansion of human purpose into that area of
life activity which consumes one third of our existence, about which
little is known and of which little use, apart from the obvious, is
made. This area is sleep, the periods when we take "time out" from
the physical world.
The Project is a pioneering attempt to deal with the following
factors:
281
to develop conscious control of the sleep state, so that one is
able to "go" to sleep when and if desired and to awaken or
stay awake as the need arises;
to make useful and practical application of the sleep state not
only as physical and mental regeneration but as a period of
profound and intensive learning;
to gather knowledge and understanding of the sleep state
using a different base from the present historical perspective.
The thrust of the Project is aimed at the broad market of sleep
needs worldwide. First and foremost is to provide a noninvasive,
nondrug method of getting into restful sleep. Currently it appears
that roughly 30 percent of the world population suffer with sleep
dysfunction in one form or another. In the United States alone, it is
estimated that over 30,000,000 persons use prescription medication
in order to get to sleep, and nearly as many again use over-thecounter
drugs from time to time.
The Project does not attempt to replace services offered by
sleep disorder clinics and does not deal with sleep problems due to
various psychological dysfunctions. However, it is designed to assist
in cases where psychological factors disturb the sleep process. It is a
learning system rather than a method of treatment.
Timeout sleep exercises on audiotape and compact disc not
only teach the listener to get to sleep easily and quickly, but also to
use the sleep period as a period of learning and therapeutics.
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Ultimate Journey
Progressive Accelerated Learning
This is a set of exercises in audiocassette and compact disc form
applying the Hemi-Sync process to improve memory, concentration,
and mental data processing, increase wakefulness, and assist relaxation.
Surgical Support Series
This set of exercises is designed for use during surgery, serious
physical
injury, or illness. Cassettes and CDs are provided for use by the
patient prior to surgery, in the operating room, and during recovery
and recuperation. Recorded results with well over two hundred patients
indicate a marked reduction in fear and anxiety, a reduced
requirement of anesthesia, minimal pain during recovery, and up to
50 percent less recuperative time.
Positive Immunity Program
A series of exercises that teach methods for accessing inner resources
in order to strengthen the immune system; developing the
ability to relax, sleep deeply, and direct energy for balancing and
healing; creating strong mental support for the accomplishment of
physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual goals.
Opening the Way (Support for Pregnancy and Childbirth)
This series provides a dynamic set of "tools" with which to enter
the miracle of childbirth. Through these exercises an understanding
of one's vast creative potential leads to the ability to face
pregnancy and birth with confidence and serenity. Support for
beginning stages
of pregnancy through labor and breast-feeding.
On Becoming a Lifelong Learner
Designed to be listened to at bedtime, these exercises help to develop
one's lifetime learning skills through teaching how to continuously
re-create one's self-concept; redefine stress and find joy in
every day; develop the skills, attitudes, and habits of a lifelong
learner; use gratitude to enhance and increase the positive aspects in
one's life.
284
Research Papers and Reports
The Monroe Institute's Hemi-Sync process. F. Holmes
Atwater.
The theoretical, physiological effects of Hemi-Sync on
humans.
Effects of rest and hemispheric synchronization compared to
effects of rest and guided imagery on the enhancement of
creativity in problem-solving. Deborah Ann Baker, Ph.D.
Hemi-Sync in conjunction with flotation to find avenues
to enhance creativity in problem-solving.
Use of Monroe Hemi-Sync relaxation tapes to decelerate maladaptive
behavior. Ronald W. Brill, Ph.D., and G. Rex
Walker, Ph.D.
Effects of Hemi-Sync in treatment of patients with selfinjurious
behavior.
Hemi-Sync and musical interval identification. Gregory D.
Carroll, Ph.D.
285
Going Home Series
Throughout human history, there has been a common yearning
and nostalgia for something deep in ourselves—our true
identity,
our origin. Our busy, practical minds, appropriately focused
upon accomplishing things in this life, have trouble with this yearning.
It seems irrational and emotional, so many of us interpret it as a
desire to revisit the site of our physical origin, our birthplace and
childhood. Of those who do, many come away unsatisfied and unfulfilled.
They expected more but cannot define what they mean by
"more." Some begin a search for an answer, not realizing they are
already searching as they become astronomers, researchers, space
shuttle pilots, microbiologists, psychologists, ministers, therapists,
philosophers, to name the obvious. Then there are all of us ordinary
people who sometimes pause for a moment to reflect about what it
all means. But just for a moment.
A growing number of us finally become astute enough to realize
one way or another that each of us will eventually be "going
home." To our original point of origin, not Here but There. It's only
a matter of time. Thus we begin and continue to identify with an
exploratory, seeking attitude. Going Home is a series of audio learning
exercises on cassette
tape or compact disc (CD), designed for use in a place of residence,
in hospitals, hospices, and nursing care facilities. The Project has
designed a special kind of help for those with life-threatening illness
or injury and for their family and loved ones.
This set of recorded learning exercises offers a means whereby
the individual can reduce dramatically the common fear of physical
death. The result can be, at the least, greater tolerance of the
situation,
including awareness that humans are indeed more than their
physical bodies. At most, the Going Home user may learn to control
willfully and calmly the sequence of physical death.
Concurrently, Going Home also helps family and friends understand
and accept the physical death process so as to provide
badly needed specific support at critical moments. It also includes
methods that can be employed to help family and friends as they
adjust to and recover from the loss of their loved one.
Going Home takes the following positions. The Principal identifies
one who is in the last and incontrovertible stages of a terminal
illness or injury. Family and Friends identify those who are in close
loving and loved contact with the Principal.
The Primary Purpose is to provide the Principal with an interesting
prospect of valuable knowledge achieved through direct experience,
rather than a dull and distasteful event.
Related Secondary Purposes:
A. To release the Principal from the fear of physical death.
This is achieved by developing the knowledge that one is more
than the physical body, and one does survive physical
death . . .
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B. To help the Principal release emotions, guilts, and obligations
that are no longer needed and bind one to the present
physical life experience.
C. To help the Principal recognize and remember some of the
possibilities subsequent to this present physical life experience.
D. To provide the Principal an opportunity to exercise calmly
and rationally the option to depart this physical existence
when one so desires.
E. To instill in the Principal the knowledge that after the physical
death transition, it is possible to send messages and signals
to Family and Friends, if so desired.
F. To provide Family and Friends of the Principal with enough
exposure to Going Home learning exercises so as to assure
their understanding, encouragement, and support to the Principal
engaged in the process.
Going Home is based upon the success of the Lifeline Program,
which has demonstrated the practicality of the process. The
difference is that Going Home is for individual use at any location.
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