(Don Juan) repeated a story he had already told me; the story of how he
had met his benefactor, the Nagual Julian. Don Juan had been cajoled
(persuade by flattery, coax) by two crooked men to take a job on an
isolated hacienda. One of the men, the foreman of the hacienda, simply
took possession of don Juan and in effect made him a slave. Desperate
and with no other course of action, don Juan escaped. The violent
foreman chased him and caught him on a country road, where he shot don
Juan in the chest and left him for dead. Don Juan was lying unconscious
in the road, bleeding to death, when the Nagual Julian came along.
Using his Healer's Knowledge, he stopped the bleeding, took don Juan,
who was still unconscious, home and cured him.The Indications of the
Spirit gave the Nagual Julian the signs about don Juan, and they were,
first, a small cyclone, that lifted a cone of dust on the road a couple
of yards from where he lay. The second Omen was the
Thought, which had crossed the Nagual Julian's mind an instant before
he had heard the sound of the gun a few yards away: that it was time to
have an Apprentice-Nagual. Moments later, the Spirit gave him the third
Omen, when he ran to take cover and instead collided with the gunman,
putting him to flight, perhaps preventing him from shooting don Juan a
second time. A collision with someone was the type of blunder (foolish,
stupid remark or act), which no Sorcerer, much less a Nagual, would
ever make. The Nagual Julian immediately evaluated the opportunity.
When he saw don Juan, he understood the reason for the Manifestations of
the Spirit : here was a Double Man, a perfect candidate to be
All of a sudden he
said, "I am going to tell you a story about the Nagual Elias and
the Manifestations of the Spirit . The Spirit manifests itself to
a Sorcerer, especially to a Nagual, at every turn. However, this is not
the Entire Truth. The Entire Truth is, that the Spirit
reveals itself to everyone with the same Intensity and Consistency, but
only Sorcerers, and Naguals in particular, are attuned to such
Don Juan began his story. He said, that the Nagual Elias had been
riding his horse to the city one day, taking him through a shortcut by
some cornfields, when suddenly his horse shied , frightened by the low,
fast sweep of a falcon, that missed the Nagual's straw hat by only a
few inches. The Nagual immediately dismounted and began to look around.
He saw a strange young man among the tall, dry cornstalks. The man was
dressed in an expensive dark suit and appeared alien there. The Nagual
Elias was used to the sight of peasants or landowners in the fields,
but he had never seen an elegantly dressed city man, moving through the
fields with apparent disregard for his expensive shoes and clothes. The
Nagual tethered (tie by rope) his horse and walked toward the young
man. He recognized the flight of the falcon, as well as the man's
apparel (attire, clothing), as obvious Manifestations of the
Spirit , which he could not disregard. He got very close to the young
man and saw what was going on. The man was chasing a peasant woman, who
was running a few yards ahead of him, dodging (quickly shifting,
moving) and laughing with him. The contradiction was quite apparent to
the Nagual. The two people cavorting (playful skip, hop, leap) in the
cornfield did not belong together. The Nagual thought, that the man
must be the landowner's son and the woman a servant in the house. He
felt embarrassed to be observing them and was about to turn and leave,
when the falcon again swept over the cornfield and this time brushed
the young man's head. The falcon alarmed the couple and they stopped
and looked up, trying to anticipate another sweep. The nagual noticed,
that the man was thin and handsome, and had haunting, restless eyes.
Then the couple became bored watching for the falcon, and returned to
their play. The man caught the woman, embraced her and gently laid her
on the ground.
But instead of trying to make love to her, as the Nagual assumed he
would do next, he removed his own clothes and paraded naked in front of
the woman. She did not shyly close her eyes or scream with
embarrassment or fright. She giggled, mesmerized by the prancing (to
walk or move about in a lively manner) naked man, who moved around her
like a satyr, making lewd (lustful, indecent) gestures and laughing.
Finally, apparently overpowered by the sight, she uttered a wild cry,
rose, and threw herself into the young man's arms.
Don Juan said, that the nagual Elias confessed to him, that the
Indications of the Spirit on that occasion, had been most
baffling. It was clearly evident, that the man was insane. Otherwise,
knowing how protective peasants were of their women, he would not have
considered seducing a young peasant woman in broad daylight a few yards
from the road and naked to boot. Don Juan broke into a laugh and told
me, that in those days to take off one's clothes and engage in a sexual
act in broad daylight in such a place meant: one had to be either
insane or blessed by the Spirit . He added, that what the man had
done might not seem remarkable nowadays. But then, nearly a hundred
years ago, people were infinitely more inhibited. All of this convinced
the Nagual Elias from the moment he laid eyes on the man, that he was
both insane and blessed by the Spirit . He worried, that peasants might
happen by, become enraged and lynch (hanging) the man on the spot.
But no one did. It felt to the Nagual, as if time had been suspended.
When the man finished making love, he put on his clothes, took out a
handkerchief, meticulously dusted his shoes and, all the while making
wild promises to the girl, went on his
way. The Nagual Elias followed him. In fact, he followed him for
several days and found out, that his name was Julian and that he was an
Subsequently, the Nagual saw him on the stage often enough to realize,
that the actor had a great deal of charisma. The audience, especially
the women, loved him. And he had no scruples (regrets) about making use
of his charismatic gifts to seduce female admirers. As the nagual
followed the actor, he was able to witness his seduction technique more
than once. It entailed showing himself naked to his adoring fans as
soon as he got them alone, then waiting, until the women, stunned by
his display, surrendered. The technique seemed extremely effective for
him. The Nagual had to admit, that the actor was a great success,
except on one count. He was mortally ill. The Nagual had seen the black
shadow of death, that followed him everywhere. Don Juan explained again
something he had told me years before - that our death was a black spot
right behind the left shoulder. He said, that Sorcerers knew, when a
person was close to dying, because they could see the dark spot, which
became a moving shadow the exact size and shape of the person to whom
it belonged. As he recognized the imminent presence of death, the
Nagual was plunged into a numbing perplexity. He wondered, why the
Spirit was singling out such a sick person. He had been taught,
that in a natural state replacement, not repair, prevailed (widespread)
. And the Nagual doubted, that he had the ability or the strength to
heal this young man, or resist the black shadow of his death. He even
doubted, if he would be able to discover, why the Spirit had
involved him in a display of such obvious waste. The Nagual could do
nothing, but stay with the actor, follow him around, and wait for the
opportunity to see in greater depth. Don Juan explained, that a
Nagual's first reaction, upon being faced with the manifestations of
the Spirit , is to see the persons involved. The Nagual Elias had been
meticulous about seeing the man the moment he laid eyes on him.
He had also seen the peasant woman, who was a part of the
Spirit's Manifestation , but he had seen nothing that, in his judgment,
could have warranted the Spirit's Display . In the course of witnessing
another seduction, however, the Nagual's ability to See took on a new
depth. This time the actor's adoring fan was the daughter of a rich
landowner. And from the start she was in complete control. The Nagual
found out about their rendezvous, because he overheard her daring the
actor to meet her the next day. The Nagual was hiding across the street
at dawn, when the young woman left her house, and instead of going to
early mass, she went to join the actor. The actor was waiting for her
and she coaxed (persuade by pleading) him into following her to the
open fields. He appeared to hesitate, but she taunted (mock, provoke)
him and would not allow him to withdraw. As the Nagual watched them
sneaking away, he had an absolute conviction, that something was going
to happen on that day, which neither of the players was anticipating.
He saw, that the actor's black shadow had grown to almost twice his
height. The Nagual deduced from the mysterious hard look in the young
woman's eyes, that she too had felt the black shadow of death at an
intuitive level. The actor seemed preoccupied. He did not laugh, as he
had on other occasions. They walked quite a distance. At one point,
they spotted the Nagual following them, but he instantly pretended to
be working the land, a peasant, who belonged there. That made the
couple relax and allowed the Nagual to come closer. Then the
moment came, when the actor tossed off his clothes and showed himself
to the girl. But instead of swooning (becoming ecstatic) and falling
into his arms, as his other conquests had, this girl began to hit him.
She kicked and punched him mercilessly and stepped on his bare toes,
making him cry out with pain.
The Nagual knew, the man had not threatened or harmed the young woman.
He had not laid a finger on her. She was the only one fighting. He was
merely trying to parry (avoid) the blows, and persistently, but without
enthusiasm, trying to entice (attract by arousing) her, showing her his
genitals. The Nagual was filled with both revulsion and admiration. He
could perceive, that the actor was an irredeemable libertine (incapable
of being saved, one, who acts without moral or sexual restrain) , but
he could also perceive equally easily, that there was something unique,
although revolting, about him. It baffled the Nagual to See, that the
man's Connecting Link with the Spirit was extraordinarily
clear. Finally the attack ended. The woman stopped beating the actor.
But then, instead of running away, she surrendered, lay down and told
the actor he could now have his way with her. The nagual observed, that
the man was so exhausted, he was practically unconscious. Yet, despite
his fatigue he went right ahead and consummated his seduction. The
Nagual was laughing and pondering, that useless man's great stamina and
determination, when the woman screamed and the actor began to gasp. The
Nagual saw how the Black Shadow struck the actor. It went like a
dagger, with pinpoint accuracy into his gap. Don Juan made a digression
(turn aside) at this point to elaborate on something he had explained
before: he had described the gap, an Opening in our Luminous Shell at
the height of the navel, where the Force of Death ceaselessly struck.
What don Juan now explained was, that when death hit healthy Beings, it
was with a ball-like blow - like the punch of a fist. But when Beings
were dying, Death struck them with a dagger-like thrust (stab) . Thus
the Nagual Elias knew without any question, that the actor was as good
as dead, and his death automatically finished his own interest in
the Spirit's designs.
There were no designs left; death had leveled everything. He rose from
his hiding place and started to leave, when something made him
hesitate. It was the young woman's calmness. She was nonchalantly
(cool, indifferently) putting on the few pieces of clothing she had
taken off and was whistling tunelessly, as if nothing had happened. And
then the Nagual saw, that in relaxing to accept the presence of death,
the man's body had released a protecting veil and revealed his true
nature. He was a double man of tremendous resources, capable of
creating a screen for protection or disguise - a natural Sorcerer and a
perfect candidate for a Nagual-Apprentice, had it not been for the
black Shadow of Death. The Nagual was completely taken aback by that
sight. He now understood the designs of the Spirit , but failed
to comprehend, how such a useless man could fit in the Sorcerers'
Scheme of things. The woman in the meantime had stood up and without so
much as a glance at the man, whose body was contorting with death
spasms, walked away. The Nagual then saw her Luminosity and realized,
that her extreme aggressiveness was the result of an Enormous Flow of
Superfluous (Excessive) Energy. He became convinced, that if she did
not put that energy to sober use, it would get the best of her and
there was no telling, what misfortunes it would cause her. As the
Nagual watched the unconcern, with which she walked away, he
realized, that the Spirit had given him another
Manifestation . He needed to be calm, nonchalant (cool). He needed to
act as if he had nothing to lose and intervene for the hell of it. In
true Nagual fashion he decided to tackle the impossible, with
noone, except the Spirit as witness. Don Juan
commented, that it took incidents like this to test whether a Nagual is
the real thing or a fake. Naguals make decisions.
With no regard for the consequences, they take action or choose not to.
Imposters ponder and become paralyzed. The Nagual Elias, having made
his decision, walked calmly to the side of the dying man and did the
first thing his body, not his mind, compelled him to do: he struck the
man's Assemblage Point (place of Spirit) to cause him to enter into
Heightened Awareness. He struck him frantically again and again, until
his Assemblage Point moved. Aided by the Force of Death itself, the
Nagual's blows sent the man's Assemblage Point to a place, where Death
no longer mattered, and there he stopped dying. By the time the actor
was breathing again, the Nagual had become aware of the magnitude of
If the man was to fend off (resist) the Force of his Death, it would be
necessary for him to remain in deep Heightened Awareness, until death
had been repelled. The man's advanced physical deterioration meant: he
could not be moved from the spot or he would instantly die. The Nagual
did the only thing possible under the circumstances: he built a shack
around the body. There, for three months he nursed the totally
My rational thoughts took over, and instead of just listening, I wanted
to know how the Nagual Elias could build a shack on someone else's
land. I was aware of the rural peoples' passion about land ownership
and its accompanying feelings of territoriality. Don Juan admitted,
that he had asked the same question himself. And the Nagual Elias had
said, that the Spirit itself had made it possible. This was
the case with everything a Nagual undertook, providing he followed
the Spirit's Manifestations . The first thing the Nagual Elias
did, when the actor was breathing again, was to run after the young
woman. She was an important part of the Spirit's Manifestations . He
caught up with her not too far from the spot, where the actor lay
Rather than talking to her about the man's plight (difficult situation)
and trying to convince her to help him, he again assumed total
responsibility for his actions and jumped on her like a lion, striking
her Assemblage Point a Mighty Blow.
Both she and the actor were capable of sustaining Life or Death Blows.
Her Assemblage Point moved, but began to shift erratically once it was
loose. The Nagual carried the young woman to where the actor lay. Then
he spent the entire day
trying to keep her from losing her mind and the man from losing his
life. When he was fairly certain he had a degree of control, he went to
the woman's father and told him, that lightning must have struck his
daughter and made her temporarily mad. He took the father to where she
lay and said that the young man, whoever he was, had taken the whole
charge of the lightning with his body, thus saving the girl from
certain death, but injuring himself to the point, that he could not be
moved. The grateful father helped the Nagual build the shack for the
man, who had saved his daughter. And in three months the Nagual
accomplished the impossible. He healed the young man. When the time
came for the Nagual to leave, his sense of responsibility and his duty
required him both to warn the young woman about her excess energy and
the injurious consequences it would have on her life and well being,
and to ask her to join the Sorcerers' World, as that would be
the only defense against her Self-destructive Strength. The woman did
not respond. And the Nagual Elias was obliged to tell her what every
Nagual has said to a prospective apprentice throughout the ages: that
Sorcerers speak of Sorcery as
magical, mysterious Bird, which has paused in its flight for a moment
in order to give man hope and purpose; that Sorcerers live under the
wing of that Bird, which they call the Bird of Wisdom, the Bird of
Freedom; that they nourish it with their dedication and impeccability.
He told her, that Sorcerers knew the flight of the Bird of Freedom was
always a straight line, since it had no way of making a loop, no way of
circling back and returning; and that the Bird of Freedom could do only
two things, take Sorcerers along, or leave them behind. The Nagual
Elias could not talk to the young actor, who was still mortally ill, in
the same way. The young man did not have much of a choice. Still, the
Nagual told him, that if he wanted to be cured, he would have to follow
the Nagual unconditionally. The actor accepted the terms instantly. The
day the Nagual Elias and the actor started back home, the young woman
was waiting silently at the edge of town. She carried no suitcases, not
even a basket. She seemed to have come merely to see them off. The
Nagual kept walking without looking at her, but the actor, being
carried on a stretcher, strained to say goodbye to her. She laughed and
wordlessly merged into the Nagual's party. She had no doubts and no
problem about leaving everything behind. She had understood perfectly,
that there was no second chance for her, that the Bird of Freedom
either took Sorcerers along or left them behind. Don Juan commented,
that that was not surprising. The force of the Nagual's personality was
always so overwhelming, that he was practically irresistible, and the
Nagual Elias had affected those two people deeply. He had had three
months of daily interaction to accustom them to his consistency, his
detachment, his objectivity. They had become enchanted by his sobriety
and, above all, by his total dedication to them. Through his example
and his actions, the Nagual Elias had given them a sustained view of
the Sorcerers' World: supportive and nurturing, yet utterly demanding.
It was a world that admitted very few mistakes..."The Nagual Elias's
story is another matter. Although it seems to be a story about people,
it is really a story about Intent. Intent creates edifices before us
and invites us to enter them. This is the way Sorcerers understand what
is happening around them...That Woman was so
powerful, that she could dance circles around anyone. Her name was
...Nagual Elias, he would have wound up
just like his benefactor (Nagual Julian), all action and very little
"What was the Nagual Elias like?" I asked,
to change the subject.
"He was not like his disciple at all," don
Juan said. "He was an Indian. Very dark and massive. He had rough
features, big mouth, strong nose, small black eyes, thick black hair
with no gray in it. He was shorter, than the Nagual Julian and had big
hands and feet. He was very humble and very wise, but he had no flare.
Compared with my benefactor, he was dull. Always all by himself,
pondering questions. The Nagual Julian used to joke, that his Teacher
imparted wisdom by the ton.
Behind his back he used to call him the
"The Nagual Elias felt, that Our Lives and Our Personalities were quite
similar," don Juan continued. "For this reason, he felt obliged to help
me. I don't feel that similarity with you, so I suppose I regard you
very much the way the Nagual Julian used to regard me."
Don Juan said, that the Nagual Elias took him under his wing from the
very first day he arrived at his benefactor's house to start his
apprenticeship and began to explain what was taking place in his
training, regardless of whether don Juan was capable of understanding.
His urge to help don Juan was so intense, that he practically held him
prisoner. He protected him in this manner from the Nagual Julian's
"At the beginning, I used to stay at the Nagual Elias's house all the
time," don Juan continued. "And I loved it. In my benefactor's (Nagual
Julian) house I was always on the lookout, on guard, afraid of what he
was going to do to me next.
But in the Nagual Elias's home I felt confident, at ease. "My
benefactor (Nagual Julian) used to press me mercilessly. And I couldn't
figure out why he was pressuring me so hard. I thought that the man was
Don Juan said, that the Nagual Elias was an Indian from the state of
Oaxaca, who had been taught by another Nagual named Rosendo, who came
from the same area. Don Juan described the Nagual Elias as being a very
who cherished his privacy. And yet he was a famous Healer and
Sorcerer, not only in Oaxaca, but in all of Southern Mexico.
Nonetheless, in spite of his occupation and notoriety (infamous), he
lived in complete isolation at the opposite end of
the country, in northern Mexico...
Don Juan laughed, and, since he had made me aware of the question, I
asked how it had been possible for the Nagual Elias to be in two places
"Dreaming is a Sorcerer's Jet Plane," he said. "The Nagual Elias was a
Dreamer, as my benefactor (Nagual Julian) was a Stalker. He was able to
create and project, what Sorcerers know as the Dreaming Body, or the
Other, and to be in two distant places at the same time (bilocation).
With his Dreaming Body, he could carry on his business as a Sorcerer,
and with his natural self be a recluse."
I remarked, that it amazed me, that I could accept so easily the
premise, that the Nagual Elias had the ability to project a solid
three-dimensional image of himself ...
He said, that the Nagual Elias had a very inquisitive mind and could
work well with his hands. In his journeys as a Dreamer he saw many
objects, which he copied in wood and forged iron. Don Juan assured me
that some of those models were of a haunting, exquisite beauty.
"What kind of objects were the originals?" I asked.
"There's no way of knowing," don Juan said. "You've got to consider
that because he was an Indian the Nagual Elias went into his Dreaming
Journeys the way a wild animal prowls for food. An animal never shows
up at a site, when there are signs of activity. He comes only when no
one is around. The Nagual Elias, as a solitary Dreamer, visited, let's
say, the junkyard of Infinity, when noone was around - and copied
whatever he saw, but never knew what those things were used
for, or their source...
"Visiting him (Nagual Elias) was for me the ultimate treat," he said,
"and simultaneously, a source of strange guilt. I used to get bored to
death there. Not because the Nagual Elias was boring, but because the
Nagual Julian had no peers and he spoiled anyone for life."
"But I thought you were confident and at ease in the Nagual Elias's
house," I said.
"I was, and that was the source of my guilt and my imagined problem.
Like you, I loved to torment myself. I think at the very beginning I
found peace in the Nagual Elias's company, but later on, when I
understood the Nagual Julian better, I went his way...
It was as cool and quiet in the patio of don Juan's house as in the
cloister of a convent. There were a number of large fruit trees planted
extremely close together, which seemed to regulate the temperature and
absorb all noises. When I first came to his house, I had made critical
remarks about the illogical way the fruit trees had been planted. I
would have given them more space. His answer was that those trees were
not his property, they were free and independent warrior trees, that
had joined his party of warriors, and that my comments - which applied
to regular trees - were not relevant. His reply sounded metaphorical to
What I didn't know then was, that don Juan meant everything he said -
literally. Don Juan and I were sitting in cane armchairs facing the
fruit trees now. The trees were all bearing fruit. I commented, that it
was not only a beautiful sight, but an extremely intriguing one, for it
was not the fruit season.
"There is an interesting story about it," he admitted. "As you know,
these trees are Warriors of my Party. They are bearing now, because all
the Members of my Party have been talking and expressing feelings about
our definitive journey, here in front of them. And the trees know now,
that when we embark on our definitive journey, they will accompany us."
I looked at him, astonished.
"I can't leave them behind," he explained. "They are Warriors too. They
have thrown their lot in with the Nagual's Party. And they know how I
feel about them. The Assemblage Point of Trees is located very low in
their Enormous Luminous Shell, and that permits them to know our
feelings, for instance, the feelings we are having now as we discuss my
He reminded me of something he had told me often: that volunteers were
not welcome in the Sorcerers' World, because they already had a purpose
of their own, which made it particularly hard for them to relinquish
(abandon) their individuality.
If the Sorcerers' World demanded ideas and actions, contrary to the
volunteers' purpose, the volunteers simply refused to change...Don Juan
assured me that, although I might have had notions to the contrary, my
apprenticeship had not been as onerous (troublesome) to him, as his
must have been to his benefactor (Nagual Julian). He admitted, that I
had a modicum (a small amount) of self-discipline, that came in very
handy, while he (himself) had had none whatever. And his benefactor, in
turn, had had even less. "The difference is discernible (perceptible)
in the Manifestations of the Spirit," he continued. "In some cases,
they are barely noticeable; in my case, they were commands. I had been
shot. Blood was pouring out of a hole in my chest. My benefactor had to
act with speed and sureness, just as his own benefactor had for him.
Sorcerers know, that the more difficult the command is, the more
difficult the disciple turns out to be...Everything, connected
with my benefactor, was very difficult," he said and began to laugh.
"When he was twenty-four years old, the Spirit didn't just Knock on his
Door, it nearly banged it down."
He said, that the story had really begun years earlier, when his
benefactor (Nagual Julian) had been a handsome adolescent from a good
family in Mexico City. He was wealthy, educated, charming, and had a
charismatic personality. Women fell in love with him at first sight.
But he was already self-indulgent and undisciplined, lazy about
anything, that did not give him immediate gratification. Don Juan said,
that with that personality and his type of upbringing - he was the only
son of a wealthy widow who, together with his four adoring sisters,
doted (lavish excessive love) on him - he could only behave one way. He
indulged in every impropriety (improper act) he could think of.
Even among his equally self-indulgent (absence of restrains) friends,
he was seen as a moral delinquent (tendency to indulge in anti-social
behaviour), who lived to do anything, that the World considered morally
wrong. In the long run, his excesses weakened him physically and he
fell mortally ill with tuberculosis - the dreaded disease of the time.
But his illness, instead of restraining him, created a physical
condition, in which he felt more sensual, than ever. Since he did not
have one iota of self-control, he gave himself over fully to
debauchery, and his health deteriorated, until there was no hope. The
saying, that it never rains, but it pours, was certainly true for don
Juan's benefactor then.
As his health declined, his mother, who was his only source of support
and the only restraint on him, died. She left him a sizable
inheritance, which should have supported him adequately for life, but
undisciplined as he was, in a few months he had spent every cent. With
no profession or trade to fall back on, he was left to scrounge
(sponge, search) for a living. Without money he no longer had friends;
and even the Women, who once loved him, turned their backs. For the
first time in his life, he found himself confronting a harsh reality.
Considering the state of his health, it should have been the end. But
he was resilient. He decided to work for a living.
His sensual habits, however, could not be changed, and they forced him
to seek work in the only place he felt comfortable: the theater. His
qualifications were that he was a born ham and had spent most of his
adult life in the company of actresses. He joined a theatrical troupe
in the provinces, away from his familiar circle of friends and
acquaintances, and became a very intense actor, the consumptive hero in
religious and morality plays.
Don Juan commented on the strange irony, that had always marked his
benefactor's life. There he was, a perfect reprobate (a scoundrel),
dying as a result of his dissolute (debauched) ways and playing the
roles of saints and mystics. He even played Jesus in the Passion Play
during Holy Week. His health lasted through one theatrical tour of the
Northern States. Then two things happened in the city of Durango: his
life came to an end and the Spirit knocked on his Door. Both his Death
and the Spirit's Knock came at the same time - in broad daylight in the
bushes. His Death caught him in the act of seducing a young Woman. He
was already extremely weak, and that day he overexerted (strained)
himself. The young Woman, who was vivacious (lively, spirited) and
strong and madly infatuated (possessed by powerful passion), had, by
promising to make love, induced (persuaded) him to walk to a secluded
spot, miles from nowhere. And there she had fought him off for hours.
When she finally submitted, he was completely worn out, and coughing so
badly, that he could hardly breathe. During his last passionate
outburst he felt a searing (burning) pain in his shoulder. His chest
felt as if it were being ripped apart and a coughing spell made him
retch (vomit) uncontrollably. But his compulsion (irresistable impulse
to act) to seek pleasure kept him going, until his Death came in the
form of a hemorrhage (bleeding). It was then, that the Spirit made its
entry, borne by an Indian, who came to his aid. Earlier he had noticed
the Indian following them around, but had not given him a second
thought, absorbed as he was in the seduction.
He saw, as in a dream, the Girl. She was not scared, nor did she lose
her composure. Quietly and efficiently she put her clothes back on and
took off as fast as a rabbit chased by hounds. He also saw the Indian
rushing to him trying to make him sit up. He heard him saying idiotic
things. He heard him pledging (promising to do something) himself to
the spirit and mumbling incomprehensible words in a foreign language.
Then the Indian acted very quickly. Standing behind him, he gave him a
smacking blow on the back. Very rationally, the dying man deduced, that
the Indian was trying either to dislodge the blood clot or to kill him.
As the Indian struck him repeatedly on the back, the dying man became
convinced, that the Indian was the Woman's lover or husband and was
murdering him. But seeing the intensely brilliant eyes of that Indian,
he changed his mind. He knew, that the Indian was simply crazy and was
not connected with the Woman. With his last bit of consciousness, he
focused his attention on the man's mumblings. What he was saying was,
that the Power of Man was incalculable (hard to estimate), that Death
existed only, because we had intended it since the moment of our birth,
that the Intent of Death could be suspended by making the Assemblage
Point change positions. He then knew, that the Indian was totally
insane. His situation was so theatrical - dying at the hands of a crazy
Indian mumbling gibberish - that he vowed, he would be a ham actor to
the bitter end, and he promised himself not to die of either the
hemorrhaging or the blows, but to die of laughter. And he laughed,
until he was dead.
Don Juan remarked that naturally his benefactor could not possibly have
taken the Indian seriously. Noone could take such a person seriously,
especially not a prospective apprentice, who was not supposed to be
volunteering for the Sorcery task...
"...Sorcerers knew, by means of their practical actions, that as soon
as their Assemblage Points move, their Self-Importance crumbles.
Without the customary position of their Assemblage Points, their
self-image can no longer be sustained. And without the Heavy Focus on
that self-image, they lose their Self-Compassion, and with it their
Self-Importance. Sorcerers are right, therefore, in saying, that
Self-Importance is merely Self-Pity in disguise. He then took my
experience of the afternoon and went through it step by step. He
stated, that a Nagual in his role Leader or Teacher has to behave in
the most efficient, but, at the same time, most impeccable, way. Since
it is not possible for him to plan the course of his actions
rationally, the Nagual always lets the Spirit decide his course.
For example, he said he had had no plans to do what he did, until the
Spirit gave him an indication, very early that morning when we were
having breakfast in Nogales. He urged me recall the event and tell him
what I could remember. I recalled that during breakfast I got very
embarrassed cause don Juan made fun of me.
"Think about the waitress," don Juan urged me.
"All I can remember about her is that she was rude."
"But what did she do?" he insisted. "What did she do while she waited
to take our order?"
After a moment's pause, I remembered, that she was a hard-looking young
woman, who threw the menu at me and stood there, almost touching me,
silently demanding, that I hurry up and order.
While she waited, impatiently tapping her big foot on the floor, she
pinned her long black hair up on her head. The change was remarkable.
She looked more appealing, more mature. I was frankly taken by the
change in her. In fact, I overlooked her bad manners because of it.
"That was the Omen," don Juan said. "Hardness and Transformation were
the indication of the Spirit."
He said that his first act of the day, as a Nagual, was to let me know
his intentions. To that end, he told me in very plain language, but in
a surreptitious manner, that he was going to give me a lesson in
"Do you remember now?" he asked. "I talked to the waitress and to an
old lady at the next table."
Guided by him in this fashion, I did remember don Juan practically
flirting with an old lady and the ill-mannered waitress. He talked to
them for a long time while I ate. He told them idiotically funny
stories about graft (extortion) and corruption in government, and jokes
about farmers in the city. Then he asked the waitress if she was an
American. She said no and laughed at the question.
Don Juan said that that was good, because I was a Mexican-American in
search of love. And I might as well start here, after eating such a
good breakfast. The Women laughed. I thought they laughed at my being
embarrassed. Don Juan said to them, that, seriously speaking, I had
come to Mexico to find a wife. He asked if they knew of any honest,
modest, chaste (virgin) Woman, who wanted to get married and was not
too demanding in matters of male beauty. He referred to himself as my
spokesman. The Women were laughing very hard. I was truly chagrined
(humiliated). Don Juan turned to the waitress and asked her if she
would marry me. She said, that she was engaged. It looked to me as
though she was taking don Juan seriously.
"Why don't you let him speak for himself?" the old lady asked don Juan.
"Because he has a speech impediment (fault)," he said. "He stutters
The waitress said, that I had been perfectly normal when I ordered my
"Oh! You're so observant," don Juan said. "Only when he orders food can
he speak like anyone else. I've told him time and time again, that if
he wants to learn to speak normally, he has to be ruthless. I brought
him here to give him some lessons in ruthlessness."
"Poor man," the old woman said.
"Well, we'd better get going, if we are going to find love for him
today," don Juan said as he stood to leave.
"You're serious about this marriage business," the young waitress said
to don Juan.
"You bet," he replied. "I'm going to help him get what he needs, so he
can cross the border and go to the Place of No Pity."
I thought don Juan was calling either marriage or the U.S.A. the Place
of No Pity.
I laughed at the metaphor and stuttered horribly for a moment, which
scared the Women to death and made don Juan laugh hysterically."
"Don Juan then began
his Story about his benefactor and the descent of
the Spirit. He said, that the Story started right after the Spirit had
knocked on the young
actor's door. I interrupted don Juan and asked him why he consistently
used the terms
"young man" or "young actor" to refer to the Nagual Julian.
"At the time of
this Story, he wasn't the Nagual," don Juan replied.
"He was a young actor. In my story, I can't just call him Julian,
because to me he was always the Nagual Julian. As a sign of deference
for his lifetime of Impeccabitity, we always prefix 'Nagual'
to a Nagual's name."
Don Juan proceeded
with his story. He said, that the Nagual Elias had
stopped the young actor's death by making him shift into Heightened
Awareness, and following
hours of struggle, the young actor regained consciousness. The Nagual
Elias did not mention his
name, but he introduced himself as a professional healer, who had
stumbled onto the scene of a
tragedy, where two persons had nearly died. He pointed to the young
woman, Talia, stretched out on
the ground. The young
man was astonished
to see her lying unconscious next to him. He
remembered seeing her as she ran away. It startled him to hear the old
healer explain, that
doubtlessly God had punished Talia for her sins by striking her with
lightning and making her lose her
"But how could
there be lightning if it's not even raining?" the young
actor asked in a barely audible voice. He was visibly affected, when
the old Indian replied, that
God's ways couldn't be questioned.
interrupted don Juan. I was curious to know if the young woman
really had lost her mind. He reminded me, that the Nagual Elias
delivered a shattering blow
to her Assemblage Point.
He said, that she
had not lost her mind, but that, as a result of the
blow, she slipped in and out of Heightened Awareness, creating a
serious threat to her health. After a
gigantic struggle, however, the Nagual Elias helped her to stabilize
her Assemblage Point and she
entered permanently into Heightened Awareness.
Don Juan commented,
that Women are capable of such a Master Stroke: they
can permanently maintain a new position of the Assemblage Point (of
And Talia was
peerless (unequal). As soon as her chains were broken, she immediately
understood everything and complied (act in accordance with) with
the Nagual's Designs. Don Juan, recounting his story, said, that the
Nagual Elias -
not only a superb Dreamer, but also a superb Stalker - had seen, that
the young actor was
spoiled and conceited (self-important), but only seemed to be hard and
calloused (unfeeling). The Nagual knew, that if he
brought forth the idea of God, sin, and retribution (pay back), the
actor's religious beliefs would make his
cynical attitude collapse. Upon hearing about God's punishment, the
actor's facade began to
crumble. He started to express remorse, but the Nagual cut him short
and forcefully stressed,
that when Death was so near, feelings of guilt no longer mattered. The
young actor listened attentively, but, although he felt very ill,
he did not believe, that he was in danger of dying. He thought, that
his weakness and fainting had
been brought on by his loss of blood. As if he had read the young
actor's mind, the Nagual explained to him,
that those optimistic thoughts were out of place, that his hemorrhaging
would have been fatal
had it not been for the
plug that he, as a
healer, had created.
"When I struck
your back, I put
in a plug to stop the draining of your Life Force," the Nagual said to
the skeptical young actor.
unavoidable process of your Death would continue. If you don't
believe me, I'll prove it to you by
removing the plug with another blow."
As he spoke, the
Nagual Elias tapped the young actor on his right side
by his ribcage. In a moment the young man was retching (vomiting) and
choking. Blood poured out of his
mouth as he coughed uncontrollably. Another tap on his back stopped the
agonizing pain and
retching. But it did not stop his fear, and he passed out.
"I can control
your Death for the time being," the Nagual said when the
young actor regained consciousness. "How long I can control it depends
on you, on how
faithfully you acquiesce (accept) to everything I tell you to do."
The Nagual said,
that the first requirements of the young man were total
immobility and silence. If he did not want his plug to come out, the
Nagual added, he
had to behave as if he had lost his powers of motion and speech. A
single twitch or a single
utterance would be enough to restart his dying. The young actor was not
accustomed to complying with suggestions or
demands. He felt a surge of anger. As he started to voice his protest,
the burning pain
and convulsions started up
"Stay with it, and
I will cure you," the Nagual said. "Act like the
weak, rotten imbecile you are, and you will die."
The actor, a proud
young man, was numbed by the insult. Nobody had ever
called him a weak, rotten imbecile. He wanted to express his fury, but
his pain was so
severe, that he could not react to the indignity.
you want me to ease your pain, you must obey me blindly," the Nagual
said with frightening coldness. "Signal me with a nod. But know now,
moment you change your mind and act like the shameful moron you are,
I'll immediately pull the
plug and leave you to die."
his last bit of strength the actor nodded his assent (agree, concur).
tapped him on his back and his pain vanished. But along with the
searing pain, something else
vanished: the fog in his mind. And then the young actor knew everything
anything. The Nagual introduced himself again. He told him, that his
name was Elias, and that
he was the Nagual. And the actor knew what it all meant. The Nagual
Elias then shifted his attention to the semiconscious Talia.
He put his mouth to her left ear and whispered commands to her in order
to make her Assemblage Point stop its erratic shifting. He soothed her
fear by telling her, in whispers, Stories of Sorcerers, who had gone
through the same
thing she was experiencing. When she was fairly calm,
he introduced himself as the Nagual Elias, a Sorcerer; and then he
attempted with her the most
difficult thing in Sorcery: moving the Assemblage Point beyond
the Sphere of the World we know. Don Juan
remarked, that seasoned Sorcerers are capable of moving beyond
the World we know, but that inexperienced persons are not. The Nagual
maintained, that ordinarily he would not have dreamed of attempting
such a feat, but on that day
something other, than his Knowledge or his Volition was making him act.
Yet the maneuver worked.
Talia moved beyond the World we know and came safely back. Then the
Nagual Elias had another Insight. He sat between the two
people stretched out on the ground - the actor was naked, covered only
by the Nagual Elias's riding
coat - and reviewed their situation. He told them, they had both, by
the force of circumstances,
fallen into a trap set by the Spirit itself.
He, the Nagual,
was the active part of that trap,
because by encountering them under the conditions he had, he had been
forced to become their temporary
protector and to engage his Knowledge of Sorcery in order to help them.
As their temporary
protector it was his duty to warn them, that they were about to reach a
unique Threshold; and that it was
up to them, both individually and together, to attain (reach) that
Threshold by entering a mood
of abandon, but not
a mood of caring, but not indulgence. He did not want to
say more for fear of confusing them or influencing their decision. He
felt, that if they were
to cross that Threshold, it had to be with minimal help from him. The
Nagual then left them alone in that isolated spot and went to the
city to arrange for medicinal herbs, mats, and blankets to be brought
to them. His idea was,
that in solitude they would attain and cross that Threshold. For a long
time the two young people lay next to each other, immersed
in their own thoughts. The fact, that their Assemblage Points had
shifted meant, that they could
think in greater depth, than ordinarily, but it also meant, that they
worried, pondered, and were
afraid in equally greater depth. Since Talia could talk and was a bit
stronger, she broke their silence;
she asked the young actor if he was afraid. He nodded affirmatively.
She felt a great
compassion for him and took off a shawl she was wearing to put over his
shoulders, and she held his
hand. The young man did not dare voice what he felt. His fear, that his
would recur if he spoke was too great and too vivid. He wanted to
apologize to her; to tell her,
that his only regret was having hurt her, and that it did not matter,
that he was going to die -
for he knew with certainty, that he was not going to survive the
were on the
same subject. She said, that she too had
only one regret: that she had fought him hard enough to bring on his
death. She was very peaceful
now, a feeling, which agitated as she always was, and driven by her
great strength, was
unfamiliar to her. She told him, that her death was very near, too, and
that she was glad it all would
end that day. The young actor, hearing his own thoughts being spoken by
Talia, felt a
chill. A surge of energy came to him then and made him sit up. He was
not in pain, nor
was he coughing. He took in great gulps of air, something he had no
memory of having done
before. He took the girl's hand and they began to talk without
vocalizing. Don Juan said, it was at that instant that the Spirit came
to them. And
they saw. They were deeply Catholic, and what they saw was a vision of
everything was alive, bathed in Light. They saw a World of Miraculous
When the Nagual
returned, they were exhausted, although not injured.
Talia was unconscious, but the young man had managed to remain aware by
a supreme effort of
self-control. He insisted on whispering something in the Nagual's ear.
"We saw heaven,"
he whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks.
"You saw more,
than that," the Nagual Elias retorted. "You saw the Spirit."
Don Juan said,
that since the Spirit's descent is always shrouded,
naturally, Talia and the young actor could not hold onto their Vision.
They soon forgot it, as anyone
would. The Uniqueness of their experience was that, without any
training and without being aware
of it, they had dreamed together and had seen the Spirit. For them to
have achieved this with
such ease was quite out of the ordinary.
"Those two were
really the most remarkable Beings I have ever met," don
"The Second Attention is like an Ocean, and the Dreaming Attention is
like a River, feeding into it. The Second Attention is the condition of
being aware of Total Worlds, Total like our World is Total, while the
Dreaming Attention is the condition of being aware of
the items of our Dreams."
"...I'm going to
tell you the Story of my Death."
He began to recount what had happened to him after his arrival in
Durango, still disguised in women's clothes, following his month-long
journey through central Mexico. He said, that old Belisario took him
directly to a hacienda to hide from the Monstrous Man, who was chasing
him. As soon as he arrived, don Juan - very daringly in view of his
taciturn (laconic, untalkative) nature - introduced himself to everyone
in the house.
There were seven beautiful Women and a strange unsociable man, who did
not utter a single word. Don Juan delighted the lovely Women with his
rendition (performance) of the monstrous man's efforts to capture him.
Above all, they were enchanted with the disguise, which he still wore,
and the story, that went with it. They never tired of hearing the
details of his trip, and all of them advised him on how to perfect the
Knowledge he had acquired during his journey. What surprised don Juan
was their poise (composed, in balance) and assuredness, which were
unbelievable to him. The seven Women were exquisite and they made him
feel happy. He liked them and trusted them. They treated him with
respect and consideration. But something in their eyes told him, that
under their facades of charm, there existed a terrifying coldness, an
aloofness (reserved, withdrawn) he could never penetrate. The thought
occurred to him, that in order for these strong and beautiful Women to
be so at ease and to have no regard for formalities, they had to be
loose (prostitutes) Women. Yet it was obvious to him, that they were
not. Don Juan was left alone to roam the property. He was dazzled by
the huge mansion and its grounds. He had never seen anything like it.
It was an old colonial house with a high surrounding wall. Inside were
balconies with flowerpots and patios with enormous fruit trees, that
provided shade, privacy, and quiet.
There were large rooms, and on the ground floor airy corridors around
the patios. On the upper floor there were mysterious bedrooms, where
don Juan was not permitted to set foot. During the following days don
Juan was amazed by the profound interest the Women took in his
well-being. They did everything for him. They seemed to hang on his
every word. Never before had people been so kind to him. But also,
never before had he felt so solitary.
He was always in the company of the beautiful, strange Women, and yet
he had never been so alone. Don Juan believed, that his feeling of
aloneness came from being unable to predict the behavior of the Women
or to know their real feelings. He knew only what they told him about
themselves. A few days after his arrival, the Woman, who seemed to be
their leader, gave him some brandnew men's clothes and told him, that
his Woman's disguise was no longer necessary, because whoever the
Monstrous Man might have been, he was now nowhere in sight. She told
him he was free to go whenever he pleased. Don Juan begged to see
Belisario, whom he had not seen since the day they arrived. The Woman
said, that Belisario was gone. He had left word, however, that don Juan
could stay in the house as long, as he wanted - but only if he was in
danger. Don Juan declared he was in mortal danger. During his few days
in the house, he had seen the Monster constantly, always sneaking about
the cultivated fields, surrounding the house. The Woman did not believe
him and told him bluntly, that he was a con artist, pretending to see
the Monster, so they would take him in. She told him their house was
not a place to loaf (spend time lazily). She stated, they were serious
people, who worked very hard and could not afford to keep a freeloader.
Don Juan was insulted. He stomped out (tread heavily) of the house, but
when he caught sight of the Monster, hiding behind the ornamental
shrubbery bordering the walk, his fright immediately replaced his
anger. He rushed back into the house and begged the Woman to let him
stay. He promised to do peon (peasant-laborer) labor for no wages, if
he could only remain at the hacienda. She agreed, with the
understanding, that don Juan would accept two conditions: that he not
ask any questions, and that he do exactly, as he was told without
requiring any explanations.
She warned him, that, if he broke these rules, his stay at the house
would be in jeopardy.
"I stayed in the house really under protest," don Juan continued. "I
did not like to accept her conditions, but I knew, that the Monster was
outside. In the house I was safe. I knew, that the Monstrous Man was
always stopped at an invisible boundary, that encircled the house, at a
distance of perhaps a hundred yards. Within that circle I was safe. As
far as I could discern, there must have been something about that
house, that kept the Monstrous Man away, and that was all I cared about.
"I also realized, that when the people of the house were around me the
Monster never appeared."
After a few weeks with no change in his situation, the young man, who
don Juan believed had been living in the monster's house, disguised as
old Belisario, reappeared. He told don Juan, that he had just arrived,
that his name was Julian, and that he owned the hacienda. Don Juan
naturally asked him about his disguise. But the young man, looking him
in the eye
and without the slightest hesitation, denied knowledge of any disguise.
"How can you stand here in my own house and talk such rubbish?" he
shouted at don Juan. "What do you take me for?"
"But - you are Belisario, aren't you?" don Juan insisted.
"No," the young man said. "Belisario is an old man. I am Julian and I'm
young. Don't you see?"
Don Juan meekly (patiently) admitted, that he had not been quite
convinced, that it was a disguise and immediately realized the
absurdity of his statement. If being old was not a disguise, then it
was a transformation, and that was even more absurd. Don Juan's
confusion increased by the moment. He asked about the Monster and the
young man replied, that he had no idea what Monster he was talking
He conceded (, that don Juan must have been scared by something,
otherwise old Belisario would not have given him sanctuary. But
whatever reason don Juan had for hiding, it was his personal business.
Don Juan was mortified (humiliated)
by the coldness of his host's tone and manner. Risking his anger, don
Juan reminded him, that they had met. His host replied, that he had
never seen him before that day, but that he was honoring Belisario's
wishes as he felt obliged to do.
The young man added, that not only was he the owner of the house, but
that he was also in charge of every person in that household, including
don Juan, who, by the act of hiding among them, had become a ward of
the house (person under protection of others). If don Juan did not like
the arrangement, he was free to go and take his chances with the
Monster no one else was able to see. Before he made up his mind one way
or another, don Juan judiciously (had sound judgement) decided to
ask, what being a ward of the house involved. The young man took don
Juan to a section of the mansion, that was under construction and said,
that that part of the house was symbolic of his own life and actions.
It was unfinished.
Construction was indeed underway, but chances were: it might never be
"You are one of the elements of that incomplete construction," he said
to don Juan. "Let's say, that you are the beam, that will support the
roof. Until we put it in place and put the roof on top of it, we won't
know whether it will support he weight. The master carpenter says it
will. I am the master carpenter."
This metaphorical explanation meant nothing to don Juan, who wanted to
know what was expected of him in matters of manual labor. The young man
tried another approach.
"I'm a Nagual," he explained. "I bring Freedom.
I'm the Leader of the people in this house. You are in this house, and
because of that you are a part of it whether you like or not."
Don Juan looked at him dumbfounded, unable to say anything.
"I am the Nagual Julian," his host said, smiling. "Without my
intervention, there is no way to Freedom."
Don Juan still did not understand. But he began to wonder about his
safety in light of the man's obviously erratic mind. He was so
concerned with this unexpected development, that he was not even
curious about the use of the word Nagual.
He knew, that Nagual meant Sorcerer, yet he was unable to take in the
total implication (indirect suggestion) of the Nagual Julian's words.
Or perhaps, somehow, he understood it perfectly, although his conscious
mind did not. The young man stared at him for a moment and then said,
that don Juan's actual job would involve being his personal valet
(male-servant) and assistant. There would be no pay for this, but
excellent room and board. From time to time there would be other small
jobs for don Juan, jobs requiring special attention. He was to be in
charge of either doing the jobs himself or seeing, that they got done.
For these special services he would be paid small amounts of money,
which would be put into an account kept for him by the other members of
the household. Thus, should he ever want to leave, there would be a
small amount of cash to tide (support) him over. The young man
stressed, that don Juan should not consider himself a prisoner, but,
if he stayed, he would have to work. And still more important, than the
work were the three requirements he had to fulfill. He had to make a
serious effort to learn everything the Women taught him. His conduct
with all the members of the household must be exemplary (commendable,
being imitated), which meant, that he would have to examine his
behavior and attitude toward them every minute of the day.
And he was to address the young man, in direct conversation, as Nagual,
and when talking of him, to refer to him as the Nagual Julian. Don Juan
accepted the terms grudgingly (reluctantly). But although he instantly
plunged into his habitual sulkiness and moroseness (gloom, bad temper,
silent protest), he learned his work quickly. What he did not
understand was, what was expected of him in matters of attitude and
behavior. And even though he could not have put his finger on a
concrete instance, he honestly believed, that he was being lied to and
exploited. As his moroseness got the upper hand, he entered into a
permanent sulk and hardly, said a word to anyone. It was then, that the
Nagual Julian assembled all the members of his household and explained
to them, that even though he badly needed an assistant, he would abide
(tolerate) by their decision. If they did not like the morose and
unappealing attitude of his new orderly (male-attendant), they had the
right to say so. If the majority disapproved of don Juan's behavior,
the young man would have to leave and take his chances with whatever
was waiting for him outside, be it a Monster or his own fabrication.
The Nagual Julian then led them to the front of the house and
challenged don Juan to show them the Monstrous Man. Don Juan pointed
him out, but no one else saw him. Don Juan ran frantically from one
person to another, insisting, that the Monster was there, imploring
(pleading, begging) them to help him. They ignored his pleas and called
him crazy. It was then, that the Nagual Julian put don Juan's fate to
vote. The unsociable man did not choose to vote. He shrugged his
shoulders and walked away.
All the Women spoke out against don Juan's staying. They argued, that
he was simply too morose and bad-tempered.
During the heat of the argument, however, the Nagual Julian completely
changed his attitude and became don Juan's defender. He suggested, that
the Women might be misjudging the poor young man, that he was perhaps
not crazy at all and maybe actually did see a Monster. He said, that
perhaps his moroseness was the result of his worries. And a great fight
ensued (followed). Tempers flared, and in no time the Women were
yelling at the Nagual. Don Juan heard the argument, but was past
caring. He knew, they were going to throw him out and that the
Monstrous Man would certainly capture him and take him into slavery. In
his utter helplessness he began to weep. His despair and his tears
swayed (some of the enraged Women. The leader of the Women proposed
another choice: three-week trial period, during which don Juan's
actions and attitude would be evaluated daily by all the Women. She
warned don Juan, that if there was one single complaint about his
attitude during that time, he would be kicked out for good.
Don Juan recounted (narrated) how the Nagual Julian in a fatherly
manner took him aside and proceeded to drive a wedge of fear into him.
He whispered to don Juan, that he knew for a fact, that the Monster not
only existed, but was roaming the property. Nevertheless, because of
certain previous agreements with the Women, agreements he could not
divulge (disclose, reveal), he was not permitted to tell the Women,
what he knew. He urged don Juan to stop demonstrating his stubborn,
morose personality and pretend to be the opposite.
"Pretend to be happy and satisfied," he said to don Juan. "If you
don't, the Women will kick you out. That prospect alone should be
enough to scare you. Use that fear as a real driving force. It's the
only thing you have."
Any hesitation or second thoughts, that don Juan might have had were
instantly dispelled at the sight of the Monstrous Man.
As the Monster waited impatiently at the invisible line, he seemed
aware of how precarious (unstable) don Juan's position was. It was as
if the monster were ravenously (greedy, voracious) hungry, anxiously
anticipating a feast. The Nagual Julian drove his wedge of fear a bit
"If I were you," he told don Juan, "I would behave like an angel. I'd
act any way these Women want me to, as long as it kept me from that
"Then you do see the Monster?" don Juan asked.
"Of course I do," he replied. "And I also see, that if you leave, or if
the Women kick you out, the Monster will capture you and put you in
chains. That will change your attitude for sure. Slaves don't have any
choice, but to behave well with their masters. They say, that the pain,
inflicted by a Monster, like that is beyond anything."
Don Juan knew, that his only hope was to make himself as congenial
(agreeable, sympathetic) as he possibly could. The fear of falling prey
to that Monstrous Man was indeed a powerful psychological force. Don
Juan told me, that by some quirk (whim, oddity, peculiarity) in his own
nature, he was boorish (rude, ill-mannered) only with the Women; he
never behaved badly in the presence of the Nagual Julian. For some
reason, that don Juan could not determine, in his mind the Nagual was
not someone he could attempt to affect either consciously or
subconsciously. The other member of the household, the unsociable man,
was of no consequence to don Juan. Don Juan had formed an opinion the
moment he met him, and had discounted him. He thought, that the man was
weak, indolent (habitually lazy), and overpowered by those beautiful
Women. Later on, when he was more aware of the Nagual's personality, he
knew, that the man was definitely overshadowed
by the glitter of the others. As time passed, the nature of leadership
and authority among them became evident to don Juan.
He was surprised and somehow delighted to realize, that no one was
better or higher, than another. Some of them performed functions, of
which the others were incapable, but that did not make them superior.
It simply made them different. However, the ultimate decision in
everything was automatically the Nagual Julian's, and he apparently
took great pleasure in expressing his decisions in the form of bestial
jokes he played on everyone. There was also a Mystery Woman among them.
They referred to her as Talia, the Nagual Woman. Nobody told don Juan
who she was, or what being the Nagual Woman meant. It was made clear to
him, however, that one of the seven women was Talia. They all talked so
about her, that don Juan's curiosity was aroused to tremendous heights.
He asked so many questions, that the Woman, who was the leader of the
other Women, told him, that she would teach him to read and write, so
that he might make better use of his deductive (pedantic) abilities.
She said, that he must learn to write things down, rather than
committing them to memory. In this fashion he would accumulate a huge
collection of facts about Talia, facts, that he ought to read and
study, until the truth became evident. Perhaps anticipating the cynical
retort (pay back) he had in mind, she argued that, although it might
seem an absurd endeavor, finding out, who Talia was, was one of the
most difficult and rewarding tasks anyone could undertake. What, she
said, was the fun part. She added more seriously, that it was
imperative for don Juan to learn basic bookkeeping in order to help the
Nagual manage the property. Immediately she started daily lessons and
in one year don Juan had progressed so rapidly and extensively, that he
was able to read, write, and keep account books.
Everything had occurred so smoothly, that he did not notice the changes
in himself, the most remarkable of which, was a sense of detachment. As
far, as he was concerned, he retained his impression, that nothing was
happening in the house, simply because he still was unable to identify
with the members of the household. Those people were mirrors, that did
not yield Reflection.
"I took refuge in that house for nearly three years," don Juan went on.
"Countless things happened to me during that time, but I didn't think
they were really important. Or at least I had chosen to consider them
unimportant. I was convinced, that for three years all I had done was
hide, shake with fear, and work like a mule."
Don Juan laughed and told me, that at one point, at the urging of the
Nagual Julian, he agreed to learn Sorcery, so that he might rid himself
of the fear, that consumed him each time he saw the Monster keeping
vigil (watch). But although the Nagual Julian talked to him a great
deal, he seemed more interested in playing jokes on him. So he believed
it was fair and accurate to say, that he did not learn anything even
loosely related to Sorcery, simply because it was apparent, that nobody
in that house knew or practiced Sorcery. One day, however, he found
himself walking purposefully, but without any volition on his part,
toward the invisible line, that held the Monster at bay. The Monstrous
Man was, of course, watching the house as usual. But that day, instead
of turning back and running to seek shelter inside the house, don Juan
kept walking. An incredible surge of energy made him advance with no
concern for his safety. A feeling of total detachment allowed him to
face the Monster, that had terrorized him for so many years.
Don Juan expected the Monster to lurch out and grab him by the throat,
but that thought no longer created any terror in him. From a distance
of a few inches he stared at the Monstrous Man for an instant and then
stepped over the line.
And the Monster did not attack him, as don Juan had always feared he
would, but became blurry. He lost his definition and turned into a
misty whiteness, a barely perceptible patch of fog. Don Juan advanced
toward the fog and it receded as if in fear. He chased the patch of fog
over the fields, until he knew there was nothing left of the Monster.
He knew then, that there had never been one. He could not, however,
explain what he had feared. He had the vague sensation, that although
he knew exactly what the Monster was, something was preventing him from
thinking about it. He immediately thought, that that rascal, the Nagual
Julian, knew the truth about what was happening. Don Juan would not
have put it past the Nagual Julian to play that kind of trick. Before
confronting him, don Juan gave himself the pleasure of walking
unescorted all over the property. Never before had he been able to do
that. Whenever he had needed to venture beyond that invisible line,
he had been escorted by a member of the household. That had put a
serious constraint on his mobility. The two or three times he had
attempted to walk unescorted, he had found, that he risked annihilation
(destruction) at the hands of the Monstrous Being. Filled with a
strange vigor, don Juan went into the house, but instead of celebrating
his new freedom-and power, he assembled the entire household and
angrily demanded, that they explain their lies. He accused them of
making him work as their slave by playing on his fear of a nonexistent
Monster. The Women laughed as if he were telling the funniest joke.
Only the Nagual Julian seemed contrite (humbled by guilt), especially
when don Juan, his voice cracking with resentment, described his three
years of constant fear.
The Nagual Julian broke down and wept openly as don Juan demanded an
apology for the shameful way he had been exploited.
"But we told you the monster didn't exist," one of the Women said. Don
Juan glared at the Nagual Julian, who cowered meekly (cringed, recoiled
"He knew the Monster existed," don Juan yelled, pointing an accusing
finger at the Nagual. But at the same time he was aware he was talking
nonsense, because the Nagual Julian had originally told him, that the
Monster did not exist.
"The Monster didn't exist," don Juan corrected himself, shaking with
rage. "It was one of his tricks."
The Nagual Julian, weeping uncontrollably, apologized to don Juan,
while the Women howled with laughter. Don Juan had never seen them
laughing so hard.
"You knew all along, that there was never any Monster. You lied to me,"
he accused the Nagual Julian, who, with his head down and his eyes
filled with tears, admitted his guilt.
"I have certainly lied to you," he mumbled. "There was never any
Monster. What you saw as a Monster was simply a surge of energy. Your
fear made it into a monstrosity."
"You told me, that that Monster was going to devour me. How could you
have lied to me like that?" don Juan shouted at him.
"Being devoured by that Monster was symbolic," the Nagual Julian
replied softly. "Your real enemy is your stupidity. You are in mortal
danger of being devoured by that monster now."
Don Juan yelled, that he did not have to put up with silly statements.
And he insisted they reassure him there were no longer any restrictions
on his freedom to leave.
"You can go any time you want," the Nagual Julian said curtly (abrupt,
"You mean I can go right now?" don Juan asked.
"Do you want to?" the Nagual asked.
"Of course, I want to leave this miserable place and the miserable
bunch of liars, who live here," don Juan shouted. The Nagual Julian
ordered, that don Juan's savings be paid him in full, and with shining
eyes wished him happiness, prosperity, and wisdom. The Women did not
want to say goodbye to him. They stared at him, until he lowered his
head to avoid their burning eyes. Don Juan put his money in his pocket
and without a backward glance walked out, glad his ordeal was over. The
outside World was a question mark to him. He yearned for it. Inside
that house he had been removed from it. He was young, strong. He had
money in his pocket and a thirst for living. He left them without
saying thank you. His anger, bottled up by his fear for so long, was
finally able to surface. He had even learned to like them - and now he
felt betrayed. He wanted to run as far away from that place as he
could. In the city, he had his first unpleasant encounter. Traveling
was very difficult and very expensive. He learned, that if he wanted to
leave the city at once, he would not be able to choose his destination,
but would have to wait for whatever muleteers were willing to take him.
A few days later he left with a reputable muleteer for the port of
"Although I was only twenty-three years old at the time," don Juan
said, "I felt I had lived a full life. The only thing I had not
experienced was sex.
The Nagual Julian had told me, that it was the fact I had not been with
a Woman, that gave me my strength and endurance, and that he had little
time left to set things up, before the World would catch up with me."
"What did he mean, don Juan?" I asked.
"He meant, that I had no idea about the kind of hell I was heading
for," don Juan replied, "and that he had very little time to set up my
barricades, my silent protectors."
"What's a silent protector, don Juan?" I asked.
"It's a lifesaver," he said. "A silent protector is a surge of
inexplicable energy, that comes to a Warrior, when nothing else works.
"My benefactor knew what direction my life would take once I was no
longer under his influence. So he struggled to give me as many
Sorcerers' options as possible. Those Sorcerers' options were to be my
"What are Sorcerers' Options?" I asked.
"Positions of the Assemblage Point," he replied, "the infinite number
of positions, which the Assemblage Point can reach. In each and every
one of those shallow or deep Shifts, a Sorcerer can strengthen his New
He reiterated (repeat), that everything he had experienced either with
his benefactor or while under his guidance, had been the result of
either a minute or a considerable Shift of his Assemblage Point. His
benefactor had made him experience countless Sorcerers' Options, more
than the number, that would normally be necessary, because he knew,
that don Juan's destiny would be to be called upon to explain, what
Sorcerers were and what they did.
"The effect of those Shifts of the Assemblage Point is cumulative," he
continued. "It weighs on you whether you understand it or not. That
accumulation worked for me, at the end.
"Very soon after I came into contact with the Nagual, my Point of
Assemblage moved so profoundly, that I was capable of Seeing. I saw an
Energy Field as a Monster. And the point kept on moving, until I saw
the Monster as what it really was: an Energy Field. I had succeeded in
Seeing, and I didn't know it. I thought I had done nothing, had learned
nothing. I was stupid beyond belief."
"You were too young, don Juan," I said. "You couldn't have done
He laughed. He was on the verge of replying, when he seemed to change
his mind. He shrugged his shoulders and went on with his account. Don
Juan said, that when he arrived in Mazatlan he was practically a
seasoned muleteer, and was offered a permanent job running a mule
train. He was very satisfied with the arrangements. The idea, that he
would be making the trip between Durango and Mazatlan pleased him no
end. There were two things, however, that bothered him: first, that he
had not yet been with a Woman, and second, a strong, but unexplainable
urge to go north. He did not know why. He knew only, that somewhere to
the north something was waiting for him. The feeling persisted so
strongly, that in
the end he was forced to refuse the security of a permanent job, so he
could travel north. His superior strength and a new and unaccountable
cunning enabled him to find jobs even where there were none to be had,
as he steadily worked his way north to the state of Sinaloa. And there
his journey ended. He met a young widow, like himself a Yaqui Indian,
who had been the wife of a man, to whom don Juan was indebted. He
attempted to repay his indebtedness by helping the widow and her
children, and without being aware of it, he fell into the role of
husband and father. His new responsibilities put a great burden on him.
He lost his freedom of movement and even his urge to journey farther
He felt compensated for that loss, however, by the profound affection
he felt for the Woman and her children.
"I experienced moments of sublime happiness as a husband and father,"
don Juan said. "But it was at those moments when I first noticed, that
something was terribly wrong. I realized, that I was losing the feeling
of detachment, the aloofness
I had acquired during my time in the Nagual Julian's house. Now I found
myself identifying with the people, who surrounded me."
Don Juan said, that it took about a year of unrelenting abrasion
(merciless, wearing down) to make him lose every vestige of the new
personality, he had acquired at the Nagual's house. He had begun with a
profound, yet aloof (reserved) affection for the Woman and her
children. This detached affection allowed him to play the role of
husband and father with abandon and gusto (relish, zest). As time went
by, his detached affection turned into a desperate passion, that made
him lose his effectiveness. Gone was his feeling of detachment, which
was what had given him the power to love. Without that detachment, he
had only mundane needs, desperation, and hopelessness: the distinctive
features of the World of Everyday Life. Gone as well was his
enterprise. During his years at the Nagual's house, he had acquired a
dynamism, that had served him well when he set out on his own. But the
most draining pain was knowing, that his physical energy had waned.
Without actually being in ill health, one day he became totally
paralyzed. He did not feel pain. He did not panic. It was as if his
body had understood, that he would get the peace and quiet, he so
desperately needed, only if it ceased to move. As he lay helpless in
bed, he did nothing, but think. And he came to realize, that he had
failed, because he did not have an Abstract Purpose.
He knew, that the people in the Nagual's house were extraordinary,
because they pursued Freedom as their Abstract Purpose. He did not
understand what Freedom was, but he knew, that it was the opposite of
his own concrete needs. His lack of an Abstract Purpose had made him so
weak and ineffective, that he was incapable of rescuing his adopted
family from their abysmal (extremely poor) poverty. Instead, they had
pulled him back to the very misery, sadness, and despair, which he
himself had known prior to encountering the Nagual. As he reviewed his
life, he became aware, that the only time he had not been poor and had
not had concrete needs was during his years with the Nagual. Poverty
was the state of being, that had reclaimed him when his concrete needs
overpowered him. For the first time, since he had been shot and wounded
so many years before, don Juan fully understood, that the Nagual Julian
was indeed the Nagual, the Leader, and his benefactor. He understood
what it was, his benefactor had meant, when he said to him, that there
was no Freedom without the Nagual's intervention. There was now no
doubt in don Juan's mind, that his benefactor and all the members of
his benefactor's household were Sorcerers. But what don Juan understood
with the most painful clarity was, that he had thrown away his chance
to be with them. When the pressure of his physical helplessness seemed
unendurable, his paralysis ended as mysteriously, as it had begun. One
day he simply got out of bed and went to work. But his luck did not get
any better. He could hardly make ends meet. Another year passed. He did
not prosper, but there was one thing, in which he succeeded beyond his
expectations: he made a total recapitulation of his life. He understood
then why he loved and could not leave those children, and why he could
not stay with them, and he also understood why he could neither act one
nor the other. Don Juan knew, that he had reached a complete
impasse (dead-end), and that to die like a Warrior was the only action
congruous (appropriate, harmonious) with what he had learned at his
benefactor's house. So every night, after a frustrating day of hardship
and meaningless toil (continuous labor), he patiently waited for his
death to come. He was so utterly convinced of his end, that his wife
and her children waited with him - in a gesture of solidarity, they too
wanted to die. All four sat in perfect immobility, night after night,
without fail, and recapitulated their lives while they waited for
death. Don Juan had admonished (remind mildly) them with the same words
his benefactor had used to admonish him.
"Don't wish for it," his benefactor had said. "Just wait, until it
comes. Don't try to imagine what death is like. Just be there to be
caught in its flow."
The time spent quietly strengthened them mentally, but physically their
emaciated (abnormally thin) bodies told of their losing battle. One
day, however, don Juan thought his luck was beginning to change. He
found temporary work with a team of farm laborers during the harvest
season. But the Spirit had other designs for him. A couple of days
after he started work, someone stole his hat. It was impossible for him
to buy a new one, but he had to have one to work under the scorching
sun. He fashioned a protection of sorts by covering his head with rags
and handfuls of straw. His coworkers began to laugh and taunt (mock)
him. He ignored them. Compared to the lives of the three people, who
depended on his labor, how he looked had little meaning for him. But
the men did not stop. They yelled and laughed, until the foreman,
fearing that they would riot, fired don Juan. A wild rage overwhelmed
don Juan's sense of sobriety and caution.
He knew he had been wronged. The moral right was with him. He let out a
chilling, piercing scream, and grabbed one of the men, and lifted him
over his shoulders, meaning to crack his back. But he thought of those
hungry children. He thought of their disciplined little bodies, as they
sat with him night after night awaiting death. He put the man down and
walked away. Don Juan said, that he sat down at the edge of the field
where the men were working, and all the despair, that had accumulated
in him, finally exploded. It was a silent rage, but not against the
people around him. He raged against himself. He raged, until all his
anger was spent.
"I sat there in view of all those people and began to weep," don Juan
continued. "They looked at me as if I were crazy, which I really was,
but I didn't care. I was beyond caring.
"The foreman felt sorry for me and came over to give a word of advice.
He thought I was weeping for myself. He couldn't have possibly known,
that I was weeping for the Spirit."
Don Juan said, that a silent protector came to him after his rage was
spent. It was in the form of an unaccountable surge of energy, that
left him with the clear feeling, that his death was imminent. He knew,
that he was not going to have time to see his adopted family again. He
apologized to them in a loud voice for not having had the fortitude
(courage) and wisdom, necessary to deliver them from their hell on
Earth. The farm workers continued to laugh and mock him. He vaguely
heard them. Tears swelled in his chest as he addressed and thanked the
Spirit for having placed him in the Nagual's Path, giving him an
undeserved chance to be free. He heard the howls of the uncomprehending
men. He heard their insults and yells as if from within himself. They
had the right to ridicule him.
He had been at the Portals of Eternity and had been unaware of it.
"I understood how right my benefactor had been," don Juan said. "My
stupidity was a Monster and it had already devoured me. The instant I
had that thought, I knew, that anything I could say or do was useless.
I had lost my chance. Now, I was only clowning for those men. The
Spirit could not possibly have cared about my despair. There were too
many of us - men with our own petty private hells, born of our
stupidity - for the Spirit to pay attention.
"I knelt and faced the southeast. I thanked my benefactor again and
told the Spirit I was ashamed. So ashamed. And with my last breath I
said goodbye to a World, which could have been wonderful, if I had had
wisdom. An immense wave came for me then. I felt it, first. Then I
heard it, and finally I saw it coming for me from the southeast, over
the fields. It overtook me and its blackness covered me. And the light
of my life was gone. My hell had ended. I was finally dead! I was
Don Juan's story devastated me. He ignored all my efforts to talk about
it. He said, that at another time and in another setting we were going
to discuss it. He demanded instead, that we get on with what he had
come to do: elucidate (clarify) the Mastery of Awareness. A couple of
days later, as we were coming down from the mountains, he suddenly
began to talk about his story. We had sat down to rest. Actually, I was
the one, who had stopped to catch my breath. Don Juan was not even
"The Sorcerers' struggle for assuredness is the most dramatic struggle
there is," don Juan said. "It's painful and costly. Many, many times it
has actually cost Sorcerers their lives."
He explained, that in order for any Sorcerer to have complete certainty
about his actions, or about his position in the Sorcerers' World, or to
be capable of utilizing intelligently his New Continuity, he must
invalidate (nullify) the Continuity of his old life. Only then can his
actions have the necessary assuredness to fortify and balance the
tenuousness (weakness) and instability of his New Continuity.
"The Sorcerer Seers of modern times call this process of invalidation
(nullifying) the ticket to Impeccability, or the Sorcerers' symbolic,
but final death," don Juan said. "And in that field in Sinaloa, I got
my ticket to Impeccability. I died there.
The tenuousness (weakness) of my New Continuity cost me my life."
"But did you die, don Juan, or did you just faint?" I asked, trying not
to sound cynical.
"I died in that field," he said. "I felt my Awareness flowing out of me
and heading toward the Eagle. But as I had impeccably recapitulated my
life, the Eagle did not swallow my Awareness. The Eagle spat me out.
Because my body was dead in the field, the Eagle did not let me go
through to freedom. It was as if it told me to go back and try again.
"I ascended the heights of blackness and descended again to the Light
of the Earth. And then I found myself in a shallow grave at the edge of
the field, covered with rocks and dirt."
Don Juan said, that he knew instantly what to do. After digging himself
out he rearranged the grave to look, as if a body was still there, and
slipped away. He felt strong and determined. He knew, that he had to
return to his benefactor's house. But, before he started on his return
journey, he wanted to see his family and explain to them, that he was a
Sorcerer and for that reason he could not stay with them. He wanted to
explain, that his downfall had been not knowing, that Sorcerers can
never make a bridge to join the people of the World.
But, if people desire to do so, they have to make a bridge to join
"I went home," don Juan continued, "but the house was empty. The
shocked neighbors told me, that farm workers had come earlier with the
news that I had dropped dead at work, and my wife and her children had
"How long were you dead, don Juan?" I asked.
"A whole day, apparently," he said.
Don Juan's smile played on his lips. His eyes seemed to be made of
shiny obsidian. He was watching my reaction, waiting for my comments.
"What became of your family, don Juan?" I asked.
"Ah, the question of a sensible man," he remarked. "For a moment I
thought you were going to ask me about my death!"
I confessed, that I had been about to, but that I knew he was seeing my
question, as I formulated it in my mind, and just to be contrary I
asked something else. I did not mean it as a joke, but it made him
"My family disappeared that day," he said. "My wife was a survivor. She
had to be, with the conditions we lived under. Since I had been waiting
for my death, she believed I had gotten what I wanted. There was
nothing for her to do there, so she left.
"I missed the children and I consoled (comfort) myself with the
thought, that it wasn't my fate to be with them. However, Sorcerers
have a peculiar bent. They live exclusively in the twilight of a
feeling best described by the words "and yet . . ." When everything is
crumbling down around them, Sorcerers accept, that the situation is
terrible, and then immediately escape to the twilight of "and yet. . ."
"I did that with my feelings for those children and the woman. With
great discipline - especially on the part of the oldest boy - they had
recapitulated their lives with me.
Only the Spirit could decide the outcome of that affection."
He reminded me, that he had taught me how Warriors acted in such
situations. They did their utmost, and then, without any remorse or
regrets, they relaxed and let the Spirit decide the outcome.
"What was the decision of the Spirit, don Juan?" I asked.
He scrutinized me without answering. I knew he was completely aware of
my motive for asking. I had experienced a similar affection and a
"The decision of the Spirit is another Basic Core," he said. "Sorcery
Stories are built around it. We'll talk about that specific decision,
when we get to discussing that Basic Core.
"Now, wasn't there a question about my death you wanted to ask?"
"If they thought you were dead, why the shallow grave?" I asked. "Why
didn't they dig a real grave and bury you?"
"That's more like you," he said laughing. "I asked the same question
myself and I realized, that all those farm workers were pious (devoted)
people. I was a Christian. Christians are not buried just like that,
nor are they left to rot like dogs. I think they were waiting for my
family to come and claim the body and give it a proper burial. But my
family never came."
"Did you go and look for them, don Juan?" I asked.
"No. Sorcerers never look for anyone," he replied. "And I was a
Sorcerer. I had paid with my life for the mistake of not knowing I was
a Sorcerer, and that Sorcerers never approach anyone. From that day on,
I have only accepted the company or the care of people or Warriors, who
are dead, as I am."
Don Juan said, that he went back to his benefactor's house, where all
of them knew instantly what he had discovered.
And they treated him as if he had not left at all. The Nagual Julian
commented, that because of his peculiar nature don Juan had taken a
long time to die.
"My benefactor told me then, that a Sorcerer's ticket to Freedom was
his Death," don Juan went on. "He said, that he himself had paid with
his life for that ticket to Freedom, as had everyone else in his
household. And that now we were equals in our condition of being dead."
Story of Nagual Rosendo ("The Art of Dreaming")
yours is the Confidence of a Fool," he said. "I am going to tell you a
Sorcerers' Story, that is apropos (relevant). I didn't witness it
myself, but my Teacher's Teacher, the Nagual Elias, did."
Don Juan said, that the Nagual Elias and the Love of his Life, a
Sorceress named Amalia, were lost, in their youth, in the Inorganic
Beings' World. I had never heard don Juan talk about Sorcerers being
the Love of Anybody's Life. His statement
startled me. I asked him about this inconsistency.
"It's not an inconsistency. I have simply refrained (curbed, stayed
away) all along from telling you Stories of Sorcerers' Affection," he
said. "You've been so oversaturated with Love all your Life, that I
wanted to give you a break.
"Well, the Nagual Elias and the Love of his Life, the Witch Amalia, got
lost in the Inorganic Beings' World," don Juan went on. "They went
there not in Dreaming, but with their Physical Bodies."
"How did that happen, don Juan?"
"Their teacher, the Nagual Rosendo, was very close in Temperament and
Practice to the Old Sorcerers.
He intended to help Elias and Amalia, but instead he pushed them across
some deadly boundaries. The Nagual Rosendo didn't have that Crossing in
mind. What he wanted to do was to put his two Disciples into the Second
Attention, but what he got as a result was their Disappearance."
Don Juan said, that he was not going to go into the details of that
long and complicated story. He was only going to tell me how they
became lost in that World. He stated, that the Nagual Rosendo's
miscalculation was to assume, that the Inorganic Beings are not, in the
slightest, interested in Women. His reasoning was correct and was
guided by the Sorcerers' Knowledge, that the Universe is Markedly
Female and, that Maleness, being an offshoot of Femaleness, is almost
scarce, thus, coveted (much desirable).
Don Juan made a digression (turn aside from the main subject) and
commented, that perhaps, that scarcity of Males is the reason for Men's
unwarranted (Having No Justification) dominion (rule) on our Planet.
I wanted to remain on that topic, but he went ahead with his Story. He
said, that the Nagual Rosendo's Plan was to give instruction to Elias
and Amalia exclusively in the Second Attention. And to that effect, he
followed the Old Sorcerers' prescribed technique. He engaged a Scout,
in Dreaming, and commanded it to Transport his Disciples into the
Second Attention by Displacing their Assemblage Points on the Proper
Position. Theoretically, a Powerful Scout could Displace their
Assemblage Points on the Proper Position with No Effort at all. What
the Nagual Rosendo did not take into consideration was the Trickery of
the Inorganic Beings. The Scout did Displace the Assemblage Points of
his Disciples, but it displaced them on a Position, from which it was
easy to Transport Them Bodily into the Realm of the Inorganic Beings.
"Is this possible, to be Transported Bodily?" I asked.
"It is possible," he assured me. "We are Energy, that is kept in a
Specific Shape and Position by the Fixation of the Assemblage Point on
If that location is Changed, the Shape and Position of that Energy will
Change accordingly. All the Inorganic Beings have to do is to Place our
Assemblage Point on the Right Location, and off we go, like a bullet,
shoes, hat, and all."
"Can this happen to any one of us, don Juan?"
"Most certainly. Especially if our Sum Total of Energy is Right.
Obviously, the Sum Total of the Combined Energies of Elias and Amalia
was Something the Inorganic Beings couldn't overlook. It is absurd to
Trust the Inorganic Beings. They have their own Rhythm, and it isn't
I asked don Juan what exactly the Nagual Rosendo did to send his
Disciples to that World. I knew it was stupid of me to ask, knowing,
that he was going to ignore my question. My surprise was genuine when
he began to tell me.
"The steps are simplicity itself," he said. "He put his disciples
inside a very small, closed space, something like a closet. Then he
went into Dreaming, called a Scout from the Inorganic Beings' Realm by
voicing his Intent to get one, then voiced his Intent to offer his
Disciples to the Scout.
"The Scout, naturally, accepted the Gift and took them away, at an
unguarded moment, when they were Making Love inside that Closet. When
the Nagual opened the Closet, they were no longer there."
Don Juan explained, that Making Gifts of their Disciples to the
Inorganic Beings was precisely, what the Old Sorcerers used to do. The
Nagual Rosendo did not mean to do that, but he got swayed by the Absurd
Belief, that the Inorganic Beings were under His Control.
"Sorcerers' maneuvers are Deadly," don Juan went on. "I beseech (beg of
you) you to be extraordinarily aware. Don't get involved in having some
idiotic confidence in yourself."
"What finally happened to the Nagual Elias and Amalia?" I asked.
"The Nagual Rosendo had to go bodily into that World and look for
them," he replied.
"Did he find them?"
"He did, after untold Struggles. However, he could not totally bring
them out. So the two young people were always semi-prisoners of that
"Did you know them, don Juan?"
"Of course I knew them, and I assure you, they were very strange."
of Women and Sexual Energy in C. Castaneda books
was of the opinion, that Self-Importance is not only the Sorcerers'
supreme Enemy, but the Nemesis (relentless destruction) of Humankind.
argument was, that most of our Energy goes into upholding our
is most obvious in our endless worry about the
presentation of the self,
about whether or not we are admired or liked or acknowledged. He
reasoned, that if we were capable
of losing some of that importance, two extraordinary things would
happen to us. One, we would
free our Energy from trying to maintain the Illusory Idea of Our
Grandeur; and, two, we
would provide ourselves with enough Energy to enter into the Second
Attention to catch a glimpse of
the actual Grandeur of the Universe.
deemed (considered) of great importance, such as the feeling, that I
was rolling into
a ditch just as I was falling asleep (like Robert Monroe).
"What exactly is the Energy Body?"
Counterpart (a double) of the physical body. A Ghost-like
made of Pure Energy.
"But isn't the
physical body also made out of Energy?
"Of course it is.
The difference is, that the Energy Body has only
appearance, but No Mass. Since it's Pure Energy, it can perform acts,
that are beyond the possibilities
of the physical body.
"Such as what for
example, don Juan?
as transporting itself in one instant to the Ends of the Universe. And
Dreaming is the Art of tempering (adjust, tune) the Energy Body, of
making it supple (flexible) and coherent (sticking together) by
gradually exercising it.
"Through Dreaming we
condense (compress) the Energy Body, until it's a
of perceiving. Its Perception, although affected by our normal way of
perceiving the Daily World, is an independent Perception. It has Its
"What is that
Sphere, don Juan?
"Energy. The Energy
Body deals with Energy in terms of Energy. There
are three ways, in which It deals with Energy in Dreaming: It can
Perceive Energy as It Flows, or It can Use Energy to Boost itself, like
a rocket into unexpected areas,
or It can Perceive,
we ordinarily perceive the World."
"What does it mean
to Perceive Energy, as It Flows?
"It means to See. It means, that the
Energy Body Sees Energy directly, as
a Light or as a Vibrating Current of sorts or as a Disturbance. Or it
feels it directly, as a Jolt
or as a Sensation, that can even be Pain.
"What about the
other way you talked about, don Juan? The Energy Body
using Energy as a Boost.
"Since Energy is its
Sphere, it is no problem for the Energy Body to
use Currents of Energy, that exist in the Universe, to propel itself.
All it has to do is: isolate
them, and off It goes with them.
This section is going to consist
of many interesting extracts about the
role of Women and Sexual Energy in lives of Carlos Castaneda, Don Juan,
Nagual Elias, Nagual Julian and other
Sorcerers from the books of C.Castaneda. But it is up to you how you
understand and use this valuable infomation. "The Power of Silence", p.
"...He told me that the Nagual Elias's house had an open, roofed
section in the front, where he had a forge and a carpentry bench and
tools. The tiled-roof adobe house consisted of a huge room with a dirt
floor where he lived with Five Women Seers, who were actually his
wives. There were also four Men, Sorcerer-Seers of his party, who lived
in small houses around the Nagual's house. They were all Indians from
different parts of the country, who had migrated to northern Mexico.
"The Nagual Elias had great respect for Sexual Energy," don Juan said.
"He believed it has been given to us, so we can use it in Dreaming. He
believed Dreaming had fallen into disuse, because it can upset the
precarious (lacking in stability) Mental Balance of susceptible people.
"I've taught you Dreaming the same way he (Nagual Elias) taught me," he
continued. "He taught me, that while we dream the Assemblage Point
moves very gently and naturally. Mental Balance is nothing, but the
Fixing of the Assemblage Point on one spot (of Spirit) we're accustomed
to. If dreams make that point move, and Dreaming is used to control
that natural movement, and Sexual Energy is needed for Dreaming, the
result is sometimes disastrous, when Sexual Energy is dissipated in
Sex, instead of Dreaming. Then Dreamers Move their Assemblage Point
Erratically and lose their minds."
"What are you trying to tell me, don Juan?" I asked, because I felt
that the subject of Dreaming had not been a natural drift in the
"You are a Dreamer" he said. "If you're not careful with your Sexual
Energy, you might as well get used to the idea of Erratic Shifts of
Your Assemblage Point (your Spirit). A moment ago you were bewildered
by your reactions. Well, your Assemblage Point moves almost
erratically, because your Sexual Energy is not in Balance."
I made a stupid and inappropriate comment about the Sex Life of adult
''Our Sexual Energy is what governs Dreaming," he explained. "The
Nagual Elias taught me - and I taught you - that you either Make Love
with your Sexual Energy or you Dream with it. There is no other way.
The reason I mention it at all is, because you are having great
difficulty Shifting your Assemblage Point to grasp our last topic: the
"The same thing happened to me," don Juan went on. "It was only when my
Sexual Energy was freed from the World, that Everything fit into Place.
That is the Rule for Dreamers. Stalkers are the opposite. My benefactor
(Nagual Julian) was,
you could say, a Sexual Libertine (No Morals) both as an average man
and as a Nagual."
"I've already told you the story of how the Nagual Julian took me to
his (Nagual Julian's) house after I was shot and tended my wound,
until I recovered," don
Juan continued. "But I didn't tell you how he dusted my link, how he
taught me to stalk myself.
"The first thing a Nagual does with his prospective apprentice is to
trick him. That is, he gives him a jolt on his Connecting Link to the
Spirit. There are two ways of doing this. One is through seminormal
channels, which I used with you, and the other is by means of outright
Sorcery, which my benefactor used on me."
Don Juan again told me the story of how his benefactor (Nagual Julian)
had convinced the people, who had gathered at the road, that the
wounded man was his son. Then he had paid some men to carry don Juan,
unconscious from shock and loss of blood, to his own house. Don Juan
woke there, days later, and found a kind old man and his fat wife
tending his wound. The old man said his name was Belisario and that his
wife was a famous healer and that both of them were healing his wound.
Don Juan told them he had no money, and Belisario suggested, that when
he recovered, payment of some sort could be arranged.
Don Juan said, that he was thoroughly confused, which was nothing new
to him. He was just a muscular, reckless twenty-year-old Indian, with
no brains, no formal
education, and a terrible temper. He had no conception of gratitude. He
thought it was very kind of the old man and his wife to have helped
him, but his intention was to wait for his wound to heal and then
simply vanish in the middle of the night. When he had recovered enough
and was ready to flee, old Belisario took him into a room and in
trembling whispers disclosed, that the house, where they were staying
belonged to a monstrous man, who was holding him and his wife prisoner.
He asked don Juan to help them to regain their freedom, to escape from
their captor and tormentor. Before don Juan could reply, a monstrous
fish-faced man right out of a horror tale burst into the room, as if he
had been listening behind the door. He was greenish-gray, had only one
unblinking eye in the middle of his forehead, and was as big as a door.
He lurched (roll, pitch suddenly) at don Juan, hissing like a serpent,
ready to tear him apart, and frightened him so greatly, that he fainted.
"His way of giving me a jolt on my Connecting Link with the Spirit was
masterful." Don Juan laughed. "My benefactor, of course, had shifted me
into Heightened Awareness, prior to the monster's entrance, so that
what I actually saw as a monstrous man was what Sorcerers call an
Inorganic Being, a formless energy field."
Don Juan said, that he knew countless cases, in which his benefactor's
devilishness created hilariously embarrassing situations for all his
apprentices, especially for don Juan himself, whose seriousness and
stiffness made him the perfect subject for his benefactor's didactic
(moralising) jokes. He added as an afterthought, that it went without
saying, that these jokes entertained his benefactor immensely.
"If you think I laugh at you - which I do - it's nothing, compared with
how he laughed at me," don Juan continued. "My devilish benefactor had
learned to weep to hide his laughter. You just can't imagine how he
used to cry, when I first began my apprenticeship."
Continuing with his story, don Juan stated, that his life was never the
same after the shock of seeing that monstrous man. His benefactor made
sure of it. Don Juan explained, that once a Nagual has introduced his
prospective disciple, especially his Nagual Disciple, to trickery, he
must struggle to assure his compliance (flexibility). This compliance
could be of two different kinds. Either the prospective disciple is so
disciplined and tuned, that only his decision to join the Nagual is
needed, as had been the case with young Talia. Or the prospective
disciple is someone with little or no discipline, in which case a
Nagual has to expend time and a great deal of labor to convince his
disciple. In don Juan's case, because he was a wild young peasant
without a thought in his head, the process of reeling him in took
bizarre turns. Soon after the first jolt, his benefactor gave him a
second one by showing don Juan his ability to transform himself. One
day his benefactor became a young man. Don Juan was incapable of
conceiving of this transformation as anything, but an example of a
consummate (skillful) actor's art.
"How did he accomplish those changes?" I asked.
"He was both a magician and an artist," don Juan replied. "His magic
was, that he transformed himself by moving his Assemblage Point into
the position, that would bring on whatever particular change he
desired. And his art was the perfection of his transformations."
"I don't quite understand what you're telling me," I said.
Don Juan said, that Perception is the hinge for everything man is or
does, and that Perception is ruled by the location of the Assemblage
Point. Therefore, if that point changes positions, man's Perception of
the World changes accordingly.
The Sorcerer, who knew exactly where to place his Assemblage Point
could become anything he wanted.
"The Nagual Julian's proficiency in moving his Assemblage Point was so
magnificent, that he could elicit (evoke, draw out) the subtlest
transformations," don Juan continued. "When a Sorcerer becomes a crow,
for instance, it is definitely a great accomplishment. But it entails a
vast and therefore a gross shift of the Assemblage Point. However,
moving it to the position of a fat man, or an old man, requires the
minutest shift and the keenest knowledge of human nature."
"I'd rather avoid thinking or talking about those things as facts," I
said. Don Juan laughed, as if I had said the funniest thing imaginable.
"Was there a reason for your benefactor's transformations?" I asked.
"Or was he just amusing himself?"
"Don't be stupid. Warriors don't do anything just to amuse themselves,"
he replied. "His transformations were strategical. They were dictated
by need, like his transformation from old to young. Now and then there
were funny consequences, but that's another matter."
I reminded him, that I had asked before how his benefactor learned
those transformations. He had told me then, that his benefactor had a
teacher, but would not tell me who.
"That very mysterious Sorcerer, who is our ward taught him," don Juan
replied curtly (abruptly).
"What mysterious Sorcerer is that?" I asked.
"The Death Defier," he said and looked at me questioningly.
For all the Sorcerers of don Juan's party the Death Defier was a most
vivid character. According to them, the Death Defier was a Sorcerer of
Ancient Times. He had succeeded in surviving to the present day by
manipulating his Assemblage Point, making it move in specific ways to
specific locations within his total energy field. Such maneuvers had
permitted his awareness and life force to persist. Don Juan had told me
about the agreement, that the Seers of his Lineage had entered
into with the Death Defier centuries before. He made gifts to them in
exchange for vital energy. Because of this agreement, they considered
him their ward (guard, defence) and called him "the Tenant."
Don Juan had explained, that Sorcerers of Ancient Times were expert at
making the Assemblage Point move. In doing so they had discovered
extraordinary things about Perception, but they had also discovered how
easy it was to get lost in aberration (deviation from a proper course).
The Death Defier's situation was for don Juan a classic example of an
aberration. Don Juan used to repeat every chance he could, that if the
Assemblage Point was pushed by someone, who not only saw it, but also
had enough energy to move it, it slid, within the Luminous Ball, to
whatever location the pusher directed. Its brilliance was enough to
light up the Threadlike Energy Fields it touched. The resulting
Perception of the World was as complete as, but not the same as, our
normal perception of everyday life, therefore, Sobriety was crucial to
dealing with the moving of the Assemblage Point (of Spirit).
Continuing his story, don Juan said, that he quickly became accustomed
to thinking of the old man, who had saved his life as really a young
man masquerading as old. But one day the young man was again the old
Belisario don Juan had first met. He and the woman don Juan thought was
his wife packed their bags, and two smiling men with a team of mules
appeared out of nowhere.
Don Juan laughed, savoring his story. He said, that while the muleteers
packed the mules, Belisario pulled him aside and pointed out, that he
and his wife were again disguised. He was again an old man, and his
beautiful wife was a fat irascible (easily angered) Indian.
"I was so young and stupid, that only the obvious had value for me,"
don Juan continued. "Just a couple of days before, I had seen his
incredible transformation from a feeble (weak, frail) man in his
seventies to a vigorous young man in his mid-twenties, and I took his
word, that old age was just a disguise. His wife had also changed from
a sour, fat Indian to a beautiful slender young woman. The woman, of
course, hadn't transformed herself the way my benefactor had. He had
simply changed the woman. Of course, I could have seen everything at
that time, but Wisdom always comes to us painfully and in driblets."
Don Juan said, that the old man assured him, that his wound was healed
although he did not feel quite well yet. He then embraced don Juan and
in a truly sad voice whispered, "the monster has liked you so much,
that he has released me and my wife from bondage and taken you as his
sole (only) servant."
"I would have laughed at him," don Juan went on, "had it not been for a
deep animal growling and a frightening rattle, that came from the
Don Juan's eyes were shining with inner delight. I (Carlos)
wanted to remain
serious, but could not help laughing.
Belisario, aware of don Juan's
fright, apologized profusely for the twist of fate, that had liberated
him and imprisoned don Juan. He clicked his tongue in disgust and
cursed the monster. He had tears in his eyes when he listed all the
chores the Monster wanted done daily.
And when don Juan protested, he confided, in low tones, that there was
no way to escape, because the Monster's Knowledge of Witchcraft was
unequaled. Don Juan asked Belisario to recommend some line of action.
And Belisario went into a long explanation about plans of action being
appropriate only if one were dealing with average human beings.
In the human context, we can plan and plot and, depending on luck, plus
our cunning and dedication, can succeed. But in the face of the
unknown, specifically don Juan's situation, the only hope of survival
was to acquiesce (accept) and understand. Belisario confessed to don
Juan in a barely audible murmur, that to make sure the Monster never
came after him, he was going to the state of Durango to learn Sorcery.
He asked don Juan if he, too, would consider learning Sorcery. And don
Juan, horrified at the thought, said, that he would have nothing to do
Don Juan held his sides laughing and admitted, that he
enjoyed thinking about how his benefactor must have relished their
interplay. Especially when he himself, in a frenzy of fear and passion,
rejected the bona fide (genuine) invitation to learn Sorcery, saying,
"I am an Indian. I was born to hate and fear witches."
Belisario exchanged looks with his wife and his body began to convulse
Don Juan realized, he was weeping silently (hiding laughter), obviously hurt by the
rejection. His wife had to prop (helped) him up, until he regained his
composure. As Belisario and his wife were walking away, he turned and
gave don Juan one more piece of advice. He said, that the Monster
abhorred (abominate, regard with horror) women, and don Juan should be
on the lookout for a male replacement on the off chance, that the
Monster would like him enough to switch slaves. But he should not raise
his hopes, because it was going to be years before he could even leave
The Monster liked to make sure his slaves were loyal or at least
obedient. Don Juan could stand it no longer. He broke down, began to
weep (hiding laughter), and told Belisario, that noone was going to
enslave him. He could
always kill himself. The old man was very moved by don Juan's outburst
and confessed, that he had had the same idea, but, alas, the Monster
was able to read his thoughts and had prevented him from taking his own
life every time he had tried. Belisario made another offer to take don
Juan with him to Durango to learn Sorcery. He said it was the only
possible solution. And don Juan told him his solution was like jumping
from the frying pan into the fire. Belisario began to weep loudly (hiding laughter) and
embraced don Juan. He cursed the moment, he had saved the other man's
life and swore, that he had no idea they would trade places. He blew
his nose, and looking at don Juan with burning eyes, said, "Disguise is
the only way to survive. If you don't behave properly, the Monster can
steal your Soul and turn you into an idiot, who does his chores, and
nothing more. Too bad I don't have time to teach you acting." Then he
wept even more (hiding laughter). Don Juan, choking with tears asked him to
he could disguise himself. Belisario confided, that the Monster had
terrible eyesight, and recommended, that don Juan experiment with
various clothes, that suited his fancy. He had, after all, years ahead
of him to try different disguises. He embraced don Juan at the door,
weeping openly. His wife touched don Juan's hand shyly. And then they
"Never in my life, before or after, have I felt such terror and
despair," don Juan said. "The Monster rattled things inside the house,
as if he were waiting impatiently for me. I sat down by the door and
whined like a dog in pain. Then I vomited from sheer fear."
Don Juan sat for hours incapable of moving. He dared not leave, nor did
he dare go inside. It was no exaggeration to say, that he was actually
about to die, when he saw Belisario waving his arms, frantically trying
to catch his attention from the other side of the street. Just seeing
him again gave don Juan instantaneous relief. Belisario was squatting
by the sidewalk watching the house. He signaled don Juan to stay put.
After an excruciatingly long time, Belisario crawled a few feet on his
hands and knees toward don Juan, then squatted again, totally immobile.
Crawling in that fashion, he advanced, until he was at don Juan's side.
It took him hours. A lot of people had passed by, but no one seemed to
have noticed don Juan's despair or the old man's actions. When the two
of them were side by side, Belisario whispered, that he had not felt
right leaving don Juan like a dog tied to a post. His wife had
objected, but he had returned to attempt to rescue him. After all, it
was thanks to don Juan, that he had gained his freedom. He asked don
Juan in a commanding whisper whether he was ready and willing to do
anything to escape this. And don Juan assured him, that he would do
anything. In the most surreptitious
manner, Belisario handed don Juan a bundle of clothes. Then he outlined
his plan. Don Juan was to go to the area of the house farthest from the
Monster's rooms and slowly change his clothes, taking off one item of
clothing at a time, starting with his hat, leaving the shoes for last.
Then he was to put all his clothes on a wooden frame, a mannequin-like
structure he was to build, efficiently and quickly, as soon as he was
inside the house.
The next step of the plan was for don Juan to put on the only disguise,
that could fool the Monster: the clothes in the bundle. Don Juan ran
into the house and got everything ready. He built a scarecrow-like
frame with poles he found in the back of the house, took off his
clothes and put them on it. But when he opened the bundle he got the
surprise of his life. The bundle consisted of women's clothes!
"I felt stupid and lost," don Juan said, "and was just about to put my
own clothes back on when I heard the inhuman growls of that monstrous
man. I had been reared to despise Women, to believe their only function
was to take care of Men. Putting on Women's clothes to me was
tantamount (the same as) to becoming a woman. But my fear of the
Monster was so intense, that I closed my eyes and put on the damned
I looked at don Juan, imagining him in women's clothes. It was an image
so utterly ridiculous, that against my will I broke into a belly laugh.
Don Juan said, that when old Belisario, waiting for him across the
street, saw don Juan in
disguise, he began to weep uncontrollably. Weeping, he guided don Juan
to the outskirts of town, where his wife was waiting with the two
muleteers. One of them very daringly asked Belisario if he was stealing
the Weird Girl (don Juan) to sell her to a Whorehouse. The old man wept
so hard, he seemed on the verge of fainting. The young muleteers did
not know what to do, but Belisario's wife, instead of commiserating
(feeling pity for Belisario), began to scream with laughter. And don
Juan could not understand why. The party began to move in the dark.
They took little-traveled trails and moved steadily north. Belisario
did not speak much. He seemed to be frightened and expecting trouble.
His wife fought with him all the time and complained, that they had
thrown away their chance for freedom by taking don Juan along.
Belisario gave her strict orders not to mention it again for fear the
muleteers would discover, that don Juan was in disguise. He cautioned
don Juan, that because he did not know how to behave convincingly like
a woman, he should act as if he were a girl, who was a little touched
in the head. Within a few days don Juan's fear subsided a great deal.
In fact, he became so confident, that
he could not even remember having been afraid. If it had not been for
the clothes he was wearing, he could have imagined the whole experience
had been a bad dream. Wearing women's clothes under those conditions,
entailed, of course, a series of drastic changes. Belisario's wife
coached don Juan, with true seriousness, in every aspect of being a
Woman. Don Juan helped her cook, wash clothes, gather firewood.
Belisario shaved don Juan's head and put a strong-smelling medicine on
it, and told the muleteers, that the Girl had had an infestation of
lice. Don Juan said, that since he was still a beardless youth it was
not really difficult to pass as a woman. But he felt disgusted with
himself, and with all those people, and, above all, with his fate. To
end up wearing women's clothes and doing women's chores was more, than
he could bear. One day he had enough. The muleteers were the
final straw. They expected and demanded, that this strange Girl wait on
them hand and foot. Don Juan said, that he also had to be on permanent
guard, because they would make passes.
I felt compelled to ask a question: "Were the muleteers in cahoots with
"No," he replied and began to laugh uproariously. "They were just two
nice people, who had fallen temporarily under his spell.
He had hired their mules to carry medicinal plants and told them, that
he would pay handsomely, if they would help him kidnap a young woman."
The scope of the Nagual Julian's actions staggered my imagination. I
pictured don Juan fending off (turn aside) sexual advances and hollered
(yell) with laughter. Don Juan continued his account. He said, that he
told the old man sternly, that the masquerade had lasted long enough,
the men were making sexual advances. Belisario nonchalantly (casually)
advised him to be more understanding, because men will be men, and
began to weep again, completely baffling don Juan, who found himself
furiously defending Women. He was so passionate about the plight
(situation of difficulty) of Women, that he scared himself. He told
Belisario, that he was going to end up in worse shape, than he would
have, had he stayed as the Monster's slave. Don Juan's turmoil
increased when the old man wept uncontrollably and mumbled inanities
(absurd silly remarks): life was sweet, the little price one had to pay
for it was a joke, the monster would devour don Juan's soul and not
even allow him to kill himself.
"Flirt with the muleteers," he advised don Juan in a conciliatory
(peaceful) tone and manner. "They are primitive peasants. All they want
is to play, so push them back, when they shove you. Let them touch your
leg. What do you care?" And again, he wept unrestrainedly. Don Juan
asked him why he wept like that.
"Because you are perfect for all this," he said and his body twisted
with the force of his sobbing.
Don Juan thanked him for his good feelings and for all the trouble he
was taking on his account. He told Belisario he now felt safe and
wanted to leave.
"The Art of Stalking is learning all the quirks (oddities) of your
disguise," Belisario said, paying no attention to what don Juan was
"And it is to learn them so well, noone will know you are disguised.
For that you need to be ruthless, cunning, patient, and sweet."
Don Juan had no idea what Belisario was talking about. Rather than
finding out, he asked him for some men's clothes. Belisario was very
understanding. He gave don Juan some old clothes and a few pesos. He
promised don Juan, that his disguise would always be there in case he
needed it, and pressed him vehemently (intensity of emotion) to come to
Durango with him to learn Sorcery and free himself from the Monster for
good. Don Juan said no and thanked him. So Belisario bid him goodbye
and patted him on the back repeatedly and with considerable force. Don
Juan changed his clothes and asked Belisario for directions. He
answered, that if don Juan followed the trail north, sooner or later he
would reach the next town. He said, that the two of them might even
cross paths again, since they were all going in the same general
direction - away from the Monster. Don Juan took off as fast as he
could, free at last. He must have walked four or five miles,
before he found signs of people. He knew, that a town was nearby and
thought, that perhaps he could get work there, until he decided where
he was going. He sat down to rest for a moment, anticipating the normal
difficulties a stranger would find in a small out-of-the-way town, when
from the corner of his eye he saw a movement in the bushes by the mule
trail. He felt someone was watching him. He became so thoroughly
terrified, that he jumped up and started to run in the
direction of the town; the Monster jumped at him lurching out to grab
his neck. He missed by an inch. Don Juan screamed, as he had never
screamed before, but still had enough self-control to turn and run back
in the direction, from which he had come.
While don Juan ran for his life, the Monster pursued him, crashing
through the bushes only a few feet away. Don Juan said, that it was the
most frightening sound he had ever heard. Finally he saw the mules
moving slowly in the distance, and he yelled for help. Belisario
recognized don Juan and ran toward him displaying overt (open) terror.
He threw the bundle of women's clothes at don Juan shouting, "Run like
a Woman, you fool."
Don Juan admitted, that he did not know how he had the presence of mind
to run like a Woman, but he did it. The Monster stopped chasing him.
And Belisario told him to change quickly, while he held the Monster at
bay. Don Juan joined Belisario's wife and the smiling muleteers without
looking at anybody. They doubled back and took other trails. Nobody
spoke for days; then Belisario gave him daily lessons. He told don
Juan, that Indian Women were practical and went directly to the heart
of things, but that they were also very shy, and that, when challenged,
they showed the physical signs of fright in shifty eyes, tight mouths,
and enlarged nostrils. All these signs were accompanied by a fearful
stubbornness, followed by shy laughter. He made don Juan practice his
womanly behavior skills in every town they passed through. And don Juan
honestly believed he was teaching him to be an actor. But Belisario
insisted, that he was teaching him the Art of Stalking. He told don
Juan, that Stalking was an Art applicable to everything, and that there
were four steps to learning it: ruthlessness, cunning, patience, and
I felt compelled to interrupt his account once more. "But isn't
Stalking taught in deep, Heightened Awareness?" I asked.
"Of course," he replied with a grin. "But you have to understand, that
for some men, wearing women's clothes, is the door into Heightened
Awareness. In fact, such means are more effective, than pushing the
Assemblage Point, but are very difficult to arrange."
Don Juan said, that his benefactor drilled him daily in the four moods
of Stalking and insisted, that don Juan understand that ruthlessness
should not be harshness, cunning should not be cruelty, patience should
not be negligence, and sweetness should not be foolishness. He taught
him, that these four steps had to be practiced and perfected, until
they were so smooth, they were unnoticeable. He believed Women to be
Natural Stalkers. And his conviction was so strong,
he maintained, that only in a Woman's disguise could any man really
learn the Art of Stalking.
"I went with him to every market in every town we passed and haggled
(bargain) with everyone," don Juan went on. "My benefactor used to stay
to one side watching me. 'Be ruthless, but charming,' he used to say.
'Be cunning, but nice.
Be patient, but active. Be sweet, but lethal. Only Women can do it. If
a Man acts this way he's being prissy (fussy, finicky)."
And, as if to make sure don Juan stayed in line, the Monstrous Man
appeared from time to time. Don Juan caught sight of him, roaming the
countryside. He would see him most often after Belisario gave him a
vigorous back massage, supposedly to alleviate a sharp nervous pain in
his neck. Don Juan laughed and said, that he had no idea he was being
manipulated into Heightened Awareness.
"It took us one month to reach the city of Durango," don Juan said. "In
that month, I had a brief sample of the Four Moods of Stalking. It
really didn't change me much, but it gave me a chance to have an
inkling (a hint, a vague idea or notion) of what being a Woman was
Here is an extract from
Castaneda's book "The Art of Dreaming", showing the effect of Feminine
Energy, given to Sorcerers, when they lose their own Energy in the
World of Inorganic Beings. That happened to Nagual Elias and to Carlos Castaneda, the full book is on : "The Art of Dreaming", Carlos Castaneda
"...Don Juan explained, that upon Merging my Energy with the Scout, I had
truthfully ceased to exist. All my physicalness had then been
transported into the Inorganic Beings' Realm and, had it not been for
the Scout, who guided don Juan and his companions to where
I was, I would have died or remained in that World, inextricably
(incapable of being freed) lost.
"Why did the Scout guide you to where I was?" I asked.
"The Scout is a Sentient (Conscious) Being from another dimension," he
a little girl now, and as such she told me, that in order to get the
necessary Energy to break the Barrier, that had trapped her in the
Inorganic Beings' World,
she had to take all of yours.
her Human Part now. Something resembling Gratitude drove her to me. When I saw her, I knew instantly,
that you were done for."
"What did you do then, don Juan?"
"I rounded up everyone I could get hold of, especially Carol Tiggs, and
off we went into the Inorganic Beings' Realm."
"Why Carol Tiggs?"
"In the first place, because she has Endless
Energy, and, in the Second Place, because she had to familiarize
herself with the Scout. All of us got something
invaluable out of this experience. You and Carol Tiggs got the Scout.
And the rest of us got a reason to Round up Our Physicality and Place
it on Our Energy Bodies; We became Energy."
"How did all of you do that, don Juan?"
"We Displaced Our Assemblage Points, in Unison. Our Impeccable Intent
to Save You did the Work. The Scout took us, in the blink of an eye, to where you were
lying, half dead, and Carol dragged you out (Female's Energy helped, LM)."
His explanation made no sense to me. Don Juan laughed when I tried to
raise that point.
"How can you understand this when you don't even have enough Energy to
get out of your bed?" he retorted.
I confided (entrusted) to him, that I was certain I knew infinitely more, than I
rationally admitted, but that something was keeping a tight lid on My Memory.
"Lack of Energy is what has put a tight lid on Your Memory," he said.
"When you have sufficient Energy, your Memory will work fine."
"Do you mean, that I can remember everything if I want to?"
"Not quite. You may want as much, as you like, but if your Energy Level
is not on a par (equal) with the Importance of What You Know, you might as well kiss Your Knowledge
good-bye: it'll never be available to you."
"So what's the thing to do, don Juan?"
"Energy tends to be cumulative; if you follow the Warrior's Way
impeccably, a Moment will come when Your Memory Opens Up."
I confessed, that hearing him talk gave me the absurd sensation, that I
was indulging in feeling sorry for myself, that there was nothing wrong with me.
are not just indulging," he said. "You were actually Energetically Dead
four weeks ago. Now you are merely stunned. Being stunned and lacking
Energy is what
makes You Hide Your Knowledge. You certainly know more, than any of us
about the Inorganic Beings' World. That World was the exclusive Concern
of the Old Sorcerers. All of us have
told you, that only through Sorcerers' Stories do we know about it. I
sincerely say, that it is more,
than strange to me, that you've become, in your own right, another
Source of Sorcerers' Stories
I reiterated, that it was impossible for me to believe I had done
something, he had not. But I could not believe either, that he was merely humoring me.
"I am not flattering or humoring you," he said, visibly annoyed. "I am
stating a Sorcery fact. Knowing more, than any of us, about that World, shouldn't be a reason for
feeling pleased. There's No Advantage in that Knowledge; in fact, in spite of all you know, you
couldn't save yourself. We saved you, because we found you. But without the Aid of the Scout,
there was No Point in even trying to find you. You were so infinitely lost in that World, that I
shudder (horrified) at the mere thought."
In my state of mind, I did not find it strange in the least, that I
actually saw a Ripple of Emotion, going through all of don Juan's Companions and Apprentices.
one, who remained unaltered was Carol Tiggs. She seemed to have fully accepted her role.
She was One with Me (her Energy helped him, LM).
"You did free the Scout," don Juan continued, "but you gave up your
life. Or, worse yet, you gave up your Freedom. The Inorganic Beings let the Scout go, in Exchange for You."
a Sorcerer, the Spirit is an Abstract, simply because he knows it
without words or even Thoughts...Our
reluctance to accept the idea, that Knowledge could exist without words
to explain it...Knowledge and language are separate," he repeated
softly... He suggested, that if I would think about the proposition,
that Knowledge might be independent of Language, without bothering to
understand it, perhaps I could see the Light."
"... He (don Juan)
reminded me of an event I had witnessed some months before in Mexico
City, which I had found to be incomprehensible, until he had explained
it, using the Sorcerers' Paradigm. What I had witnessed was a surgical
operation, performed by a famous
psychic healer. A friend of mine was the patient. The healer was a
woman, who entered a
very dramatic trance to operate on him. I was able to observe that,
using a kitchen knife, she cut his
abdominal cavity open in the umbilical (navel) region, detached his
diseased liver, washed it in a bucket of
alcohol, put it back in and closed the bloodless opening with just the
pressure of her hands. There had been a number of people in the
semidark room, witnesses to
the operation. Some of them seemed to be
interested observers like myself. The others seemed
to be the healer's helpers. After the operation, I talked briefly to
three of the observers. They
all agreed, that they had witnessed the same events
I had. When I talked to my friend, the
patient, he reported, that he had felt the operation as a dull,
constant pain in his stomach and a
burning sensation on his right side.
I had narrated all
of this to don Juan and I had even ventured (doubt) a
cynical explanation. I had told him, that the semidarkness of the room,
in my opinion, lent (allow the use) itself
perfectly to all kinds of sleight (skillful, cunning) of hand, which
could have accounted for the sight of the internal
organs being pulled out of the abdominal cavity and washed in alcohol.
The emotional shock, caused by
the healer's dramatic trance - which I also considered trickery -
helped to create an
atmosphere of almost religious faith. Don Juan immediately pointed out,
that this was a cynical opinion, not a
cynical explanation, because it did not explain the fact, that my
friend had really gotten
well. Don Juan had then proposed an alternative view, based on
Sorcerers' Knowledge. He had
explained, that the event hinged on the salient (striking) fact, that
the healer was capable of moving the Assemblage Point of the exact
number of people in her audience. The only trickery involved -
could call it trickery - was, that the number of people present in the
room could not exceed the
number, she could handle. Her dramatic trance and the accompanying
histrionics (dramatics) were, according to
him, either well thought - out devices the healer used to trap the
attention of those present, or
unconscious maneuvers, dictated by the Spirit itself. Whichever, they
were the most
appropriate means, whereby the healer could foster (encourage) the
Unity of Thought, needed to remove
doubt from the minds of those present and force them into Heightened
Awareness. When she cut the body open with a kitchen knife and removed
internal organs it was not, don Juan had stressed, sleight (trickery)
of hand. These were bona fide (true) events,
which, by virtue (worthy practice) of taking place in Heightened
Awareness, were outside the realm of everyday
judgment. I had asked don Juan how the healer could manage to move the
Assemblage Points of those people without touching them. His reply had
been, that the Healer's Power, a gift or a stupendous accomplishment,
was to serve as a Conduit for the Spirit. It was the Spirit, he had
said, and not the Healer, which had moved those Assemblage Points.
"I explained to you
then, although you didn't understand a word of it,"
don Juan went on, "that the healer's art and power was to remove doubts
from the minds of those
present. By doing this, she was able to allow the Spirit to move their
Assemblage Points. Once
those Points had moved, everything was possible. They had entered into
the realm, where Miracles
emphatically, that the healer must also have been a Sorceress, and
that, if I made an effort to remember the operation, I would remember,
that she had been Ruthless with the people around her, especially the
patient. I repeated to him what I could recall of the session. The
tone of the healer's flat, feminine voice changed dramatically, when
she entered a trance into a
raspy, deep, male voice. That voice announced, that the Spirit of a
Warrior of pre-Columbian Antiquity, had possessed the healer's body.
Once the announcement was made, the healer's attitude
changed dramatically. She was possessed. She was obviously absolutely
sure of herself, and she
proceeded to operate with total certainty and firmness.
"I prefer the word
"Ruthlessness" to "certainty" and "firmness"," don
Juan commented, then continued. "That healer had to be ruthless to
create the proper setting
for the Spirit's Intervention."
He asserted, that
events difficult to explain, such as that operation,
were really very simple. They were made difficult
by our insistence upon thinking. If we did not
think, everything fit into place...
"By intending the Movement of your Assemblage Point," he said. "Intent
is beckoned (signal or summon by waving) with the eyes."
I told don Juan,
that my mind was shifting back and forth between
moments of tremendous lucidity, when everything was crystal clear, and
lapses into profound
mental fatigue, during which I could not understand what he was saying.
He tried to put me at ease,
explaining, that my instability was caused by a slight fluctuation of
my Assemblage Point,
which had not stabilized in the new position it had reached some years
earlier. The fluctuation was
the result of left-over
feelings of Self-Pity.
"What new position
is that, don Juan?" I asked.
"Years ago - and
this is what I want you to recollect - your Assemblage Point reached
the place of No Pity," he replied.
"I beg your pardon?"
"The place of No
Pity is the site of Ruthlessness," he said. "But you
know all this. For the time being, though, until you recollect, let's
say, that Ruthlessness, being
a specific position of the Assemblage Point, is shown in the eyes of
It's like a
shimmering film over the eyes. The Eyes of Sorcerers are Brilliant. The
Greater the Shine, the more Ruthless the Sorcerer is. At this moment,
your eyes are dull."
He explained that,
when the Assemblage Point moved to the place of No
Pity, the Eyes began to Shine. The firmer the Grip of the Assemblage
Point on its new position,
the more the Eyes shone.
"Try to recall what
you already know about this," he urged me. He kept
quiet for a moment, then spoke without looking at me.
"Recollecting is not
the same as remembering," he continued.
"Remembering is dictated by the day-to-day type of thinking, while
recollecting is dictated by the Movement of the Assemblage
A Recapitulation of
their Lives, which Sorcerers do, is the Key
to Moving their Assemblage Points. Sorcerers start their Recapitulation
by thinking, by
remembering the most important acts of their lives. From merely
Thinking about them, they then move on to
actually being at the site of the event. When they can do that - be at
the site of the event - they have
successfully shifted their Assemblage Point to the precise spot it was,
when the event took place.
Bringing back the total event by means of Shifting the Assemblage Point
is known as Sorcerers' Recollection."
He stared at me for
an instant, as if trying to make sure I was
Assemblage Points are Constantly Shifting," he explained,
"Imperceptible Shifts. Sorcerers believe, that in order to make their
Assemblage Points Shift to precise Spots, we must engage Intent. Since
there is no way of knowing, what Intent is, Sorcerers let their
eyes beckon (signal) it...Ruthlessness
possessed you then. Ruthlessness makes Sorcerers' Eyes Shine, and that
Shine beckons (signals) Intent. Each spot, to which their Assemblage
Points move, is indicated by a Specific Shine of Their Eyes.
Since their eyes have their own memory, they can call up the
recollection of any spot by calling up
the Specific Shine, associated with that spot."
He explained, that
the reason Sorcerers put so much emphasis on the
Shine of Their Eyes and on their gaze, is because the Eyes are directly
connected to Intent.
Contradictory as it might sound, the Truth is, that the Eyes are only
superficially (be near the surface) connected to the World of Everyday
Life. Their deeper connection is to the Abstract (Soul)..."
отрывки и мои мысли о Нагуалах из книг Карлоса Кастанеда (на русском)
нашем сайте в
книгах Кастанеда я стараюсь его метафоры (вроде "закат моей
жизни"), заменять на правильные названия, например: метафора - "Точка Сборки - Assemblage Point" на
более правильное понятие "Точка, где находится Душа - Spirit" или
метафора - "Сила Орла - Eagle Force"
на "Сила Земли - Earth's Force" или метафора - "Нити Орла - Eagle Emаnations"
на "Нити Энергии Баланса Земли - Earth's Threads of Light", тогда
становится яснее содержание книг. Ниже отрывок из книги Карлоса
Кастанеды "Могущество Молчания" о роли Учителей в жизни их учеников -
Колдунов и Шаманов; таких Учителей называют Нагуал
(мексиканское слово), стр. 4-5 :
"... Тогда он (Дон Хуан Матис - Нагуал) объяснил
(Карлос) роль Гида (Нагуала) в жизнях Шаманов. Он сказал что Гида
называют "Нагуал" и что это может быть Женщина или Мужчина
экстра-ординарной Энергии, Учитель, у кого: Трезвый Ум, Выносливость и
Стабильность; тот, кого Ясновидящие Колдуны ВИДЯТ
как Светящиеся Белые Сферы, имеющие 4 Отделения, как-будто четыре,
Светящихся Сфер вокруг человека, были сжаты вместе
(а также вместо одного куска
Солнечной Энергии Баланса (Душа-Spirit), размером с теннисный мяч,
Нагуал имеет Душу в 4 раза больше обыкновенного человека. ЛМ).
В силу своей
экстра-ординарной Энергии, Нагуалы являются Посредниками между самыми
Высокими Вибрациями и самыми Низкими, могут легко переходить из одной
Вибрации в другую, то вниз, то вверх! Их Энергия позволяет им
доставлять: Покой, Гармонию (Баланс), Смех и Высшие Знания
прямо из Источника Всей Жизни, используя Закон Цели, Намерения (Любопытство - движующаяся Сила
Закона Цели, ЛМ), и передавать всё это своим друзьям (ученикам).
ответственны за объяснения и напоминания шаманам о их Связи с Законом
Цели, без которого Источник Всей Жизни не может функционировать !
Мне хочется когда-нибудь своими словами больше рассказать о
Личностях Нагуалов (из той же книги) - о Нагуале Джулиан и Нагуале
которые были Учителями Нагуалa Дон
Хуана. Большую часть этих Параллельных Личностей мы все имеем и даже
материализуем их время от времени, когда в этом есть нужда, как это
например когда нам нужно сыграть какую-нибудь роль в кино или в театре
или даже в жизни.
Alies (Inorganic Beings) from C. Castaneda Books. "The Art of Dreaming"
follow them (allies) to their
source, they serve us as guides into areas of such Mystery, that
Sorcerers shiver at the mere
mention of such a possibility."
"He said, that
Sorcerers have seen, that there are two types of Conscious Beings
roaming the Earth, the Organic and the Inorganic, and that in comparing
one with the other, they have seen, that both are Luminous Masses,
crossed from every imaginable angle by millions of the Universe's
Energy Filaments. They
are different from each other in their shape and in their degree of
brightness. Inorganic Beings are Long and Candlelike but opaque,
whereas Organic Beings are round and by far the brighter.
Another noteworthy difference, which don Juan said Sorcerers have seen,
is, that the Life and Consciousness of Organic Beings is short-lived,
because they are made to hurry, whereas the Life of Inorganic Beings is
infinitely longer and their Consciousness infinitely more calm and
This act creates a
distinctive Energy Charge, which attracts their (Inorganic Beings)
attention. It's like bait to fish; they'll go for it. Sorcerers, by
Reaching and Crossing the First two Gates of Dreaming, set bait for
those Beings and compel them to appear.
"By going through
the two Gates, you have made your bidding, known to
them. Now, you must wait for a Sign from them."
"What would the sign
be, don Juan?"
"Possibly the Appearance of One of Them, although, that seems too soon.
I am of the opinion, that Their Sign will be simply some Interference
in your Dreaming. I
believe, that the Jolts of Fear, you are experiencing nowadays, are not
indigestion, but Energy Jolts, sent
to you by the Inorganic Beings."
"What should I do?"
"You must gauge
(calculate) your expectations."
I could not
understand what he meant, and he carefully explained, that
our normal expectation when engaging in interaction with our fellow men
or with other organic Beings is to get an immediate reply to our
solicitation (request for something desired). With Inorganic Beings,
since they are separated from us by a most formidable barrier, Energy,
that moves at a different
speed, Sorcerers must gauge (calculate) their expectations and sustain
the solicitation for as long, as it
takes to be acknowledged.
"Do you mean, don
Juan, that the solicitation is the same as the Dreaming Practices?"
"Yes. But for a
perfect result, you must add to your practices the
Intent of Reaching those Inorganic Beings. Send a Feeling of Power and
Confidence to them, a Feeling of Strength, of Detachment. Avoid at any
cost sending a Feeling of Fear or Morbidity (gruesome, grisly).
They are pretty morbid by themselves; to add your morbidity to them is
unnecessary, to say the
"I'm not clear, don
Juan, about the way they appear to Sorcerers. What
is the peculiar way they make themselves known?"
"They do, at times,
materialize themselves in the Daily World, right in
front of us.
Most of the time,
though, their invisible presence is marked by a Bodily Jolt, a Shiver
of Sorts, that comes from the marrow of the bones."
"What about in
Dreaming, don Juan?"
"In Dreaming we have
the total opposite. At times, we feel them the way
you are feeling them, as a Jolt of Fear. Most of the time, they
materialize themselves right
in front of us. Since at the beginning of Dreaming we have no
experience whatsoever with them, they
might imbue (saturate) us with fear beyond measure. That is a real
danger to us. Through the Channel
of Fear, they can follow us to the Daily World, with disastrous results
"In what way, don
"Fear can settle
down in our lives, and we would have to be mavericks (an independent)
to deal with it. Inorganic Beings can be worse, than a pest. Through
fear they can easily
drive us raving mad."
"What do Sorcerers
do with Inorganic Beings?"
"They mingle (mix)
with them. They turn them into Allies. They form
associations, create extraordinary friendships. I call them vast
enterprises, where Perception plays the uppermost (highest in priority)
role. We are Social Beings. We unavoidably seek the Company of
Consciousness. With Inorganic Beings, the Secret is not to fear them.
And this must
be done from the beginning. The Intent one has to send out to them has
to be of Power
and Abandon. In that Intent one must encode the message "I don't fear
you. Come to see me. If you
do, I'll welcome you. If you don't want to come, I'll miss you." With a
message like this,
they'll get so curious, that they'll come for sure."
"Why should they
come to seek me, or why on Earth should I seek them?"
they like it or not, in their Dreaming seek
associations with other Beings. This may come to you as a shock, but
Dreamers automatically seek Groups
of Beings, Nexuses (bond, link) of Inorganic Beings in this case.
Dreamers seek them avidly."
"This is very
strange to me, don Juan. Why would Dreamers do that?"
"The Novelty for us
is the Inorganic Beings. And the Novelty for them
is one of our kind, Crossing the Boundaries of Their Realm. The thing
you must bear in mind
from now on is, that Inorganic Beings with their Superb Consciousness
(pull into vigorous
action) a Tremendous Pull over Dreamers and can easily transport them
into Worlds beyond description.
"The Sorcerers of
Antiquity used them, and they are the ones, who coined
the name "Allies". Their Allies taught them to Move the Assemblage
Point out of the Egg's
boundaries into the Nonhuman Universe. So when they transport a
Sorcerer, they transport him to Worlds beyond the human domain."
"This is for sure an ideal place to summon (call) your friends," he
"Why do you call
them my friends?"
"They have singled
you out themselves. When they do that, it means, that
they seek an association. I've mentioned to you, that Sorcerers form
friendship with them. Your case seems to be an example. And you don't
even have to solicit
"What does such a
friendship consist of, don Juan?"
consists of a Mutual Exchange of Energy. The Inorganic Beings
supply their high Awareness, and Sorcerers supply their heightened
Awareness and high Energy. The Positive result is an Even Exchange. The
Negative one is Dependency on both parties (but not at
the End of Life of the Old Universe, when all Energies, all Parallel
Universes need to blend with each other, LM).
heard don Juan say, "You can open your eyes now." I opened them with no
difficulty. I was sitting cross-legged on some
rocks, which were not the same ones I had felt under me when I sat
down. Don Juan was just behind
me to my right. I tried to turn around to face him, but he forced my
head to remain straight.
And then I saw two dark figures, like two thin tree trunks, right in
front of me. I stared at them open-mouthed; they were not as tall, as
in my Dreams.
They had shrunk to half their size. Instead of being shapes of opaque
luminosity, they were now
two condensed, dark, almost black, menacing sticks.
"Get up and grab one
of them," don Juan ordered me, "and don't let go,
no matter how it shakes you."
I definitely did not
want to do anything of the sort, but some unknown
drive made me stand up against my will. I had at that moment the clear
realization, that I
would end up doing what he had ordered me to, although I had no
conscious intention of doing so. Mechanically, I advanced toward the
two figures, my heart pounding
nearly out of my chest. I grabbed the one to my right. What I felt was
an electric discharge, that
almost made me drop the dark figure.
Don Juan's voice
came to me, as if he had been yelling from a distance
away. "You drop it and you're done for," he said. I held on to the
figure, which twirled and shook. Not like a massive
animal would, but like something quite fluffy and light, although
rolled and turned on the sand of the gully for quite some time. It gave
me jolt after jolt of some
sickening electric current. I thought it was sickening, because I
fancied it to be different from the Energy I had always encountered in
our Daily World. When it hit my body, it tickled me and
made me yell and growl like an animal, not in anguish (extreme pain),
but in a strange anger. It finally became a still, almost solid form
under me. It lay inert. I
asked don Juan if it was
dead, but I did not
hear my voice.
"Not a chance," said
someone laughing, someone, who was not don Juan.
"You've just depleted its Energy Charge. But don't get up yet. Lie
there just a
I looked at don Juan
with a question in my eyes. He was examining me
with great curiosity. Then he helped me up. The dark figure remained on
the ground. I wanted
to ask don Juan, if the dark figure was all right. Again, I could not
voice my question. Then I
did something extravagant. I took it all for real. Up to that moment
something in my Mind was
preserving my rationality by taking, what was happening, as a Dream, a
Dream induced by don Juan's
machinations. I went to the figure on the ground and tried to lift it
up. I could not
put my arms around it, because it had no mass. I became disoriented.
The same Voice, which was
not don Juan's, told me to lie down on top of the Inorganic Being. I
did it, and both of us got
up in one motion, the Inorganic Being like a dark shadow attached to
me. It gently separated
from me and disappeared, leaving me with an extremely pleasant feeling
of completeness. It took me more, than twenty-four hours to regain
total control of my
faculties (parts). I slept most of the time.
Don Juan checked me
from time to time by asking me the same
question, "Was the Inorganic Being's Energy like Fire or like Water?"
throat seemed scorched. I could not tell him, that the Energy Jolts, I
had felt, were like Jets of Electrified Water. I have never felt Jets
of Electrified Water in my
life. I am not sure, if it is possible to produce them or to feel them,
but that was the image playing in my Mind every time don Juan asked his
key question. Don Juan was asleep, when I finally knew I was completely
Knowing, that his question was of great importance, I woke him up and
told him, what I had
"You are not going
to have helping friends among the Inorganic Beings,
but relationships of annoying dependence," he stated. "Be extremely
careful. Watery Inorganic Beings are more given to Excesses. The Old
Sorcerers believed, that they were more loving,
more capable of imitating, or perhaps even having feelings. As opposed
to the fiery ones, who were
thought to be more serious, more contained, than the others, but also
"What's the meaning
of all this for me, don Juan?"
"The meaning is too
vast to discuss at this time. My recommendation is,
that you vanquish (subjugate) fear from your Dreams and from your life,
in order to safeguard your Unity.
The Inorganic Being you depleted of Energy and then recharged again was
thrilled out of its
candlelike shape with it. It'll come to you for more."
"Why didn't you stop
me, don Juan?"
"You didn't give me
time. Besides, you didn't even hear me shouting at
you to leave the Inorganic Being on the ground."
"You should have
lectured me, beforehand, the way you always do, about
all the possibilities."
"I didn't know all
the possibilities. In matters of the Inorganic
Beings, I am nearly a novice. I refused that part of the Sorcerers'
Knowledge on the ground, that it is
too cumbersome and capricious. I don't want to be at the mercy of any
Entity, Organic or Inorganic."
That was the end of
our exchange. I should have been worried, because of
his definitely negative reaction, but I was not. I somehow was certain,
that whatever I
had done was all right.
I continued my
Dreaming practices without any interference from the Inorganic Beings...
one day, while I was
sitting at my desk, I got a reply to an unvoiced question about the
Realness of Inorganic Beings. I
had seen Inorganic Beings in Dreams so many times, I had begun to think
of them as real. I
reminded myself I had even touched one, in a state of semi-normal
consciousness in the Sonoran
desert. And my Dreams had been periodically deviated to views of
Worlds, I seriously doubted could
have been products of my mentality. I wished to give don Juan my best
shot, in terms of a
concise (clear) query, so I molded a question in my mind: if one is to
accept, that Inorganic Beings are as
real, as people, where, in the Physicality of the Universe, is the
Realm, in which they exist? After formulating the question to myself, I
heard a Strange Laughter,
just as I had the day I wrestled with the Inorganic Being.
a Man's Voice answered me:
"That Realm exists in a Particular Position of the Assemblage Point,"
it said. "Just like your World exists in the Habitual Position of the
The last thing I wanted was to
enter into a dialogue with a disembodied
Voice, so I stood up and ran out of my house. The thought occurred to
me, that I was losing
my mind. Another worry to add to my collection of worries. The Voice
had been so clear and authoritative, that it not only
intrigued me, but terrified me. I waited with great trepidation (alarm)
for oncoming barrages (outpouring of words) of that Voice, but
the event was never repeated. At the first opportunity I had, I
consulted with don Juan. He was not impressed in the least.
"You must understand, once and
for all, that things like this are very
normal in the life of a Sorcerer," he said. "You are not going mad; you
are simply hearing the Voice of the Dreaming Emissary (messenger,
agent). Upon Crossing the First or Second Gate of Dreaming, Dreamers
reach a Threshold of Energy and begin to See things or to Hear Voices. Not really plural Voices, but a
Sorcerers call it the Voice of
the Dreaming Emissary."
"What is the Dreaming Emissary?"
"Alien Energy, that has
Conciseness (succinct, lakonic). Alien Energy,
that purports (means) to Aid Dreamers by telling them things. The
problem with the Dreaming Emissary is, that it can tell only
what the Sorcerers already know or should know, were they worth their
"To say that it's Alien Energy,
that has Conciseness doesn't help me at
all, don Juan. What kind of Energy - benign, malignant, right, wrong,
"It's just what I said, Alien
Energy. An Impersonal Force, that we turn
into a very personal one, because it has Voice. Some Sorcerers swear by
it. They even See it. Or,
as you yourself have done, they simply hear it as a man's or a Woman's
Voice. And the Voice can
tell them about the state of things, which most of the time they take
as sacred advice."
"Why do some of us hear it as a
"We See it
or Hear it, because we
maintain our Assemblage Points fixed
on a specific New Position; the more intense this Fixation, the more
experience of the Emissary. Watch out! You
may see it and feel it as a naked woman."
Don Juan laughed at his own
remark, but I was too scared for levity (frivolity).
"Is this Force capable of
materializing itself?" I asked.
he replied. "And it all depends on how Fixed the Assemblage Point is.
But, rest assured, if you are capable of maintaining a degree of
nothing happens. The Emissary remains what it is: an Impersonal Force,
that acts on us, because of the Fixation of our Assemblage Points."
"Is its advice safe and sound?"
"It cannot be advice. It only
tells us what's what, and then we draw
the inferences (conclusions) ourselves."
I told don Juan then about what
the Voice had said to me.
"It's just like I said," don
Juan remarked. "The Emissary didn't tell
you anything new. Its statements were correct, but it only seemed to be
revealing things to
you. What the Emissary did was merely repeat, what you already knew."
"I'm afraid I can't claim, that
I knew all that, don Juan."
"Yes, you can. You know now
infinitely more about the Mystery of the
Universe, than what you rationally suspect. But that's our Human
Malady, to know more about
the Mystery of the Universe, than we suspect."
Having experienced this
incredible Phenomenon all by myself, without
don Juan's coaching, made me feel elated. I wanted more information
about the Emissary. I
began to ask don Juan whether he also heard the Emissary's Voice.
He interrupted me and with a
broad smile said, "Yes, yes. The Emissary
also talks to me. In my youth I used to See it as a friar (monk) with a black
cowl (hooded robe). A Talking Friar,
who used to scare the daylights out of me, every time.
Then, when my fear was more
manageable, it became a disembodied Voice, which tells me things to
"What kinds of things, don Juan?"
"Anything I focus my Intent on,
things I don't want to take the trouble
of following up myself. Like, for example, details about the behavior
of my apprentices. What
they do when I am not around. It tells me things about you, in
The Emissary tells
me everything you do."
At that point, I really did not
care for the direction our conversation
had taken. I frantically searched my Mind for questions about other
topics, while he roared with
"Is the Dreaming Emissary an
Inorganic Being?" I asked.
"Let's say, that the Dreaming
Emissary is a Force, that comes from the Realm of Inorganic Beings.
This is the reason Dreamers
always encounter it."
"Do you mean, don Juan, that
every Dreamer Hears or Sees the
Hears the Emissary; very few See it or Feel it."
"Do you have any explanation for
"No. Besides, I really don't
care about the Emissary. At one point in
my life, I had to make a decision whether to concentrate on the
Inorganic Beings and follow in
the footsteps of the Old Sorcerers or to refuse it all. My teacher, the
Nagual Julian, helped me
make up my Mind to refuse it. I've never regretted that decision."
"Do you think I should refuse
the Inorganic Beings myself, don Juan?"
did not answer me; instead, he explained, that the whole Realm of
Inorganic Beings is always poised (ready) to Teach. Perhaps, because
Inorganic Beings have a deeper Consciousness, than ours, they feel
compelled (obliged) to take us under their wings. I didn't see any
point in becoming their pupil," he added. "Their
price is too high."
"What is their price?"
"Our lives, our Energy, our
devotion to them. In other words, our Freedom."
"But what do they teach?"
"Things pertinent (suitable) to
their World. The same way we ourselves would teach
them, if we were capable of Teaching them, things pertinent (suitable)
to Our World. Their method,
however, is to take our Basic Self as a Gauge (standard) of what we
need and then teach us accordingly. A
most dangerous affair!"
"I don't see why it would be
someone was going to take your Basic Self as a gauge, with all your
fears and greed and envy, et cetera, et cetera, and teach you what
fulfills that horrible State of Being, what do you think the result
I had no comeback (reply). I
thought I understood perfectly well the reasons
for his rejection.
"The problem with the Old
Sorcerers was, that they learned wonderful
things, but on the Basis of their unadulterated (real) Lower Selves,"
don Juan went on. "The Inorganic Beings became their Allies, and, by
means of deliberate examples, they taught the Old Sorcerers Marvels
(wonders). Their Allies performed the actions, and the Old Sorcerers
were guided step by step
to copy those actions, Without Changing Anything About Their Basic
"Do these relationships with
Inorganic Beings exist today?"
"I can't answer that truthfully.
All I can say is, that I can't
of having a relationship like that myself. Involvements of this nature
curtail (reduce) our Search for Freedom
by consuming (taking) all our Available Energy. In order to really
follow their Allies' example, the Old Sorcerers had to spend their
lives in the Realm of the Inorganic Beings. The Amount of Energy,
needed to accomplish such a sustained journey is staggering."
"Do you mean, don Juan, that the
Old Sorcerers were able to exist in
those Realms like we exist here?"
"Not quite like we exist here,
but certainly they lived: they retained
their Awareness, their individuality. The Dreaming Emissary became the
most Vital Entity for
those Sorcerers. If a Sorcerer wants to live in the Realm of the
Inorganic Beings, the Emissary is the perfect bridge; it speaks, and
its Bent is to teach, to guide."
"Have you ever been in that
Realm, don Juan?"
"Countless times. And so have
you. But there is no point in talking
about it now. You haven't cleared all the debris from your Dreaming
Attention yet. We'll talk
about that Realm some day."
"Do I gather, don Juan, that you
don't approve of or like the Emissary?"
neither approve of it nor like it. It belongs to another mood, the Old
Sorcerers' Mood. Besides, its Teachings and Guidance in Our World are
Nonsense. And for
that Nonsense the Emissary charges us Enormities in terms of Energy.
One day you will
agree with me. You'll see."
In the tone of don Juan's words,
I caught a veiled implication (meaning) of his
belief, that I disagreed with him about the Emissary. I was about to
confront him with it when I
heard the Emissary's Voice in my ears.
"He's right," the Voice said.
"You like me, because you find nothing
wrong with exploring all possibilities. You want Knowledge; Knowledge
is Power. You don't want
to remain safe in the routines and beliefs of your Daily World."
Emissary said all that in English with a marked Pacific Coast
intonation. Then it shifted into Spanish. I heard a slight Argentine
accent. I had never heard the Emissary speaking like this before. It
fascinated me. The Emissary told me about fulfillment, Knowledge; about
how far away I was from my birthplace; about my craving for adventure
and my near
obsession with new things, new horizons. The Voice even talked to me in
Portuguese, with a
definite inflection (accent) from the Southern Pampas. To hear that
Voice pouring out all this flattery not only scared me, but
nauseated me. I told don Juan, right on the spot, that I had to stop my
Dreaming training. He
looked up at me, caught by surprise. But when I repeated what
I had heard, he agreed I should
stop, although I sensed he was doing it only to appease (sooth) me.
Story of Nagual
Carlos Castaneda "The Art of
for the moment, just let me tell you another farfetched Story about one
of the Naguals of my Line, the Nagual Sebastian."
Don Juan told me
then, that the Nagual Sebastian had been a sexton in a
church in Southern Mexico around the beginning of the eighteenth
century. In his account,
don Juan stressed how Sorcerers, Past or Present, seek and find refuge
institutions, such as the Church. It was his idea, that because of
their superior discipline, Sorcerers are
trustworthy employees and, that they are avidly sought by institutions,
that are always in dire (urgent)
need of such persons.
maintained, that as
long, as noone is aware of the Sorcerers' Doings,
their lack of ideological sympathies makes them appear as model
workers. Don Juan continued his story and said, that one day, while
performing his duties as a sexton, a strange man came to the church, an
old Indian, who seemed
to be ill. In a weak voice he told Sebastian, that he needed help. The
Nagual thought, that
the Indian wanted the parish priest, but the man, making a great
effort, addressed the Nagual. In a
harsh and direct tone, he told him, that he knew, that Sebastian was
not only a Sorcerer, but a Nagual. Sebastian, quite alarmed by this
sudden turn of events, pulled the
Indian aside and demanded an apology.
The man replied,
that he was not there to apologize, but to
get specialized help. He needed, he said, to receive the Nagual's
Energy, in order to maintain
his life, which, he assured Sebastian, had spanned thousands of years,
but at the moment was ebbing (declining, fading away)
away. Sebastian, who was a very intelligent man, unwilling to pay
to such nonsense, urged the Indian to stop clowning around. The Old Man
became angry and
threatened Sebastian with exposing him and his group to the
ecclesiastical authorities if he did
not comply with his request. Don Juan reminded me, that those were the
times when the ecclesiastical
authorities were brutally and systematically eradicating heretical
practices among the
Indians of the New Worlds.
The man's threat
was not something to be taken lightly; the Nagual and
his group were indeed in mortal danger. Sebastian asked the Indian how
he could give him Energy.
The man explained, that Naguals, by means of their discipline, gain a
Peculiar Energy, that they
store in their bodies and that he would get it painlessly from Sebastian's
Energy Center on his Navel.
In return for it, Sebastian would get not only the opportunity to
continue his activities
unscathed (unharmed), but also a Gift of Power. The Knowledge, that he
was being manipulated by the Old Indian, did not
sit right with the Nagual, but the man was inflexible and left him no
alternative, but to
comply with his request. Don Juan assured me, that the Old Indian was
not exaggerating about his
claims at all. He turned out to be one of the Sorcerers of Ancient
Times, one of those,
known as the Death Defiers. He had apparently survived to the present
by manipulating his Assemblage Point in ways, that only he knew about.
Don Juan said, that what transpired between Sebastian and that man,
became the ground for an agreement, that had bound all six Naguals, who
The Death Defier, kept his word; in exchange for Energy from every one
of those men, he made a
donation to the giver, a Gift of Power. Sebastian had to accept such a
reluctantly; he had been cornered and had no other choice. All the
other Naguals, who followed him, however,
gladly and proudly accepted their Gifts. Don Juan concluded his story,
saying, that over time the Death Defier
came to be known as the Tenant. And for over two hundred years, the
Naguals of don Juan's Line
honored that Binding Agreement, creating a symbiotic relationship, that
changed the Course
and final Goal of their Lineage. Don Juan did not care to explain the
story any further, and I was left
with a strange sensation of truthfulness, which was more bothersome to
me, than I could have
"How did he get to
live that long?" I asked.
"No one knows,"
don Juan replied. "All we've known about him, for
generations, is what he tells us. The Death Defier is the one I asked
about the Old Sorcerers,
and he told me, that they were at their Peak three thousand years ago."